Just about everyone has heard about Sarah Palin's revisionist telling of Paul Revere's famous ride where she managed to get a few of the easiest and most memorable details of American Revolutionary History wrong and then tried to weasel her way out of it rather than just admit her mistake and move on.
So Paul wasn't riding to warn the British that the Americans knew they were coming, riding his horse, ringing his bell and shooting his gun as Palin claimed. Politicians say all kinds of crazy things. Where's the harm here?
Well, the first problem is that it makes her look ridiculous as everyone knows that Paul was out advertising his Silver shop's midnight madness sale when a light from the old church tower fell onto his hat and created the idea for the world's first fire sale!
The British are coming! The British are coming! Here your Revereware before it's gone, gone, gone! He shouted! Following the old trade route from Lexington to Concord Paul managed to scare up quite a crowd too who happened to be on hand for his free musketball promotion.
One free musketball if by land, two free musketballs if by sea, was enough to get quite a few men out for the Colonies' first blue light sale! Patriot and Hero of Capitalism, no wonder Revere is so Revered by Republicans!
What's that you say? That's closer but it's not how it happened? I'm sorry. Come to think of it I might have filled in a few details on my own. Better check a history book or wiki... Oh, never mind. Good thing I'm not running for president.
Well, at least I admitted my mistake right away just like Sarah Palin did.
What's that? She didn't? She tried to fool all of the people on one of the most basic and well known stories of American History?
How cute? Isn't that precious? She's decided the key to victory is to appear to be as smart as media darlings Paris and Lindsey. All she has to do now is leak her sex tape. What? Say it isn't so.
Whew. It isn't so. Joe Weiner, a Democrat came close enough to that.
So what bothers me about the story is not that she got such basic facts wrong. Facts my 8 year old knew better. What bothers me is she lied about it and tried to get away with it.
We generally hold Presidents to a higher standard. We at least expect them to know which fights are worth fighting and when it is better to admit a mistake and try to move on. This was clearly the only smart way to handle Revere gate yet neither Palin or any of her advisors were smart enough to figure that out in time to avoid severe damage to the credibility of her candidacy. The credibility loss came not so much from making the mistake, but from having no one who was willing to admit the mistake.
I know the version of history listed here is not correct. It's meant to entertain not inform. But our President should never be our Jester, we have VP's for that.
I try to admit my errors and Presidents should too, at least to the degree the job allows. Sure, we all acknowledge that sometimes, for good reasons, Presidents lie. What most of us don't want are Presidents who are so I'll educated that they feel that they have to lie habitually just to keep up. That kind of person just doesn't merit the job and the job should go to someone better qualified.
I'm capable of factual and historical mistakes. That's a given when you write comedy. But I am not a candidate for President and in times like these when candidates want the workers to tighten their belts and improve their performance they better be prepared to do the same darn thing themselves.
If candidates expouse better performance from teachers, then their own spelling, history and math should darn well be up to snuff. Or they'll get a math lesson in 2012 at the polls.
Nb: Errors made in this post are mine. Sorry. I'll try to do better next time.
If you are a regular to this blog you have probably noticed that I haven't been updating it for awhile. What the heck was wrong with me you might think?
I can spell that out in two words rotator cuff followed by two words even more horrifying to those in the know: 2" complete tear! I have it on good authority that if comedy based on pain is funny, this should be about the funniest post I'll ever write. Because the period I was dealing with my rotator cuff injury completely stopped me cold for six months.
Not only did the surgery not make the pain better, at first it was much, much worse. That at first was about two months. Six months later and after 4 months of intense physical therapy I finally had most of the movement in my right arm back.
I tried to get back to posting regularly but in the mean time I discovered Facebook and I discovered that I did what many of us volunteer bloggers did: I turned to Facebook for most of my creative stuff. Sorry about that. I was not alone; a recent news report showed that the nature of blogging has changed and amateurs like us are leaving. Well heck with that! Reason enough for me to come back! Or try to but that's now. Back then even finding a way to tie my posts to my account so they would get published where my Facebook friends could see it too I held back from going regular here again.
I think it was because I just wasn't feeling that funny for awhile. I had some personal issues that reconnecting with my college friends helped me to deal with. Some very sad heartbreaking stuff. The kind of thing that if you have it, you have to deal with it and it's pretty hard to be funny while doing so. So I guess that's part of it too.
Anyway to my delight this blog is nearly at 100,000 page views and that's a good reason to celebrate! So I'm going to try to post regularly again and I hope you will come back if you were a regular reader before.
In the mean time this blog will continue to be a safe, clean and funny place to come to! Now if my left shoulder wasn't bothering me so much....
Don't Miss The Gaelic Park Players Production of The Patrick Pearse Motel by Irish playwright Hugh Leonard: April 9 - 11, 16 - 18, 23 - 25, 2010
There are few South Side actors whose work I recommend unreservedly, but this production includes one of them in the likes of Marty Donovan who I have had the pleasure of working with onstage myself and witnessing his raw talent, attention to his craft, his ready wit, his incredible imagination, humor and all around ability to move an audience to laugh, cry and cheer.
In the context of a Hugh Leonard play, his efforts are not to be missed. While you may be more familiar with Leonard's Da or A Life, I urge you to take a chance to see this production of The Patrick Pearse Motel while you can, and to get seats while you can. Opening night offers two for one tickets a rare theater buy.
Here's what the company says about the play and the production:
The Patrick Pearse Motel by Hugh Leonard
An upwardly mobile couple living in an upscale Dublin suburb, and their business partners are showing what real patriotism is all about-selling it in the form of hotels. Each room in the Patrick Pearse Motel is decorated with a portrait of a national hero. Unbeknown to her doting husband, the lady of the house is plotting a tryst with an old flame, a television commentator famed for his rudeness. Soon the stage is filled with mistaken identities, dropped trousers, a flimsy negligee and false accusations. On a rainy night at The Patrick Pearse Motel, the characters crisscross paths, threaten one another with a shillelagh and hide in convenient closets. An hysterical bedroom farce that will have you wondering how will all of this turn out and who will get out alive?
The Patrick Pearse Motel
Director-Tom Kearney
Assistant Director-Georgina Chapman
Cast:
Dermod -Marty Donovan
Grainne-Kathy Holahan
Fintan-Stephen Heffernan
Niamh-Mary Kate Brophy
Miss Manning-Taryn Mckenna
James Usheen-Mick Kenna
Hoolihan-Barney Farrelly
Show Dates are:
Fridays April 9th, 16th and 23rd at 8:00pm
Saturdays April 10th, 17th and 24th at 8:00pm
Sundays April 11th, 18th and 25 at 3:00pm
Tickets:
PLEASE NOTE TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE AT THE GAELIC PARK OFFICE
$12.00 Theater Performance only
$25.00 Dinner & Theater (Sundays Only)
Opening Night - Buy 1 Get 1 Free!!
Reservations are a must for Dinner & Theater
Tickets are non-refundable
Steven Wright Videos. Steven is one of the funniest driest comics around. If you like this stuff you will go to the iTunes store or over to Amazon or even a local record store and buy all his stuff, even these routines so you can take them with you on your iPod, I mean, your portable media player.
I hesitated for a long time about putting these up, but apparently, Wright's camp has only objected to some of the material being taken down. For example, parts 4-5 of the material below come from his "I Still Have a Pony" album. If he had wanted it all taken down, You Tube would have had it taken down immediately. So clearly, they see some value in having some of his material up. (In the same vein, I will take down any copyrighted material immediately upon notification of the original copyright owner and I usually avoid putting up anything not meant for further distribution.)
Since it appears that Steven wishes the publicity, I'll introduce him to you this way. There is a huge amount of his material available and I encourage you to become a fan.
IMPORTANT - I can't guarantee the language on all of this one, so use headphones if you are at work. Steven does not usually use bad language though.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
"I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it." - Steven Wright
Every once in awhile people will ask me why I like working on a Mac a thousand times better than on a PC.
Here's a picture, worth more than 1,000 words that sums it up. It's a copy of the install instructions from the Cogii game Escape from the Museum which was issued in dual Mac/IBM format.
Just read the install instructions for each platform and you will see what I mean.
Here's a game manufacturer with a sense of humor says I. Perhaps the museum is a museum of obsolete Windows machines...
Now we've done it! After decades of hard work, we have finally surpassed Louisiana's record in political bumboozlery and allegedly confoundedly stupid greedy stupid behavior.
Like most of the public here in Illinois, when he ran for his first term for Governor, sick of the corruption in politics here and saddened by the George Ryan corruption problems, I liked Blagojevich's message, his style, what he had to say in his first campaign for Govenor, but now it seems, after his arrest and release on his own recognizance, like to get an honest job out of these folks at the top we have to wire them 24/7.
Today's events, the early morning FBI arrest of Illinois' Governor Rod Blagojevich and his Chief of Staff Ron Harris may not be the end of trust of all Government officials, but it feels like the beginning of the end. The only ray of hope was the continued refusal of the Obama people, as I read the warrant support affidavid even to consider payback of an kind.
I guess the worst part, the lowest part of reading the warrant support affidavit, was hearing the allegation and possibility (paragraph 73, page 44 of the Affidavit in support of the arrest warrant) that Mrs. Blagojevich may have initiated the idea of using the Tribune Company's desire to sell the Cubs with financing from the State of Illinois as a way to solicit the firing of key Tribune Newspaper (one of many Tribune Company Properties) Editorial Board Members who had written anti-Blago editorials. (See the CNN story for the links).
Oh, how I had wanted Patty B. to be free of any links to this mess. Maybe the Feds got it wrong and it was just a female aide in the Blagojevich home shouting a suggestion to Blago and "Deputy Governor A "...to hold up that F******* Cubs S***.... F*** them" as a way mess up the Tribune board plan. At least she was not on the payroll of Illinois, and so not subject to these indictments(I hope for the kids sake). No more hints at bad language here. I have a standard to maintain. I guess he won't be appointing her for the Senate Seat as a last ditch bail out after all, or is he that stupid?
So, the Governor's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day is a lot worse than "Alexander's, Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" by wonderful Children's Author and Illustrators Judith Viorst and Ray Cruz because Alexander's day, well, read the story for that. In fact, you can use the Amazon.com search box or this link to buy it, but Blago's troubles are just staring.
We can now only hope for true reform in Illinois and other states to come from this debacle. The need for Gubernatorial appointments of Senate replacements is long gone. Special Elections, even, "horrors" without a primary can be mandated to happen quickly by law, with a follow-up general election.
Time to take out this model-T of an electoral process and junk it.
Unless of course, this is some kind of "Awful evil dream".* *Leonard Vole - Agatha Christie's Witness for the Prosecution
Got to say, there really hasn't been a campaign song in this election that has captured the hearts and minds of the electorate, until now.
But Ken and Dave changed all that with their song: Brain to Nowhere!
It's a campaign song for Sarah Palin and John McCain, and while I have already voted myself for Obama, I have to say that I can't help letting you know about this song, because, well, great art should be noted.
I know, I know, there is a risk that it could turn the election, but it's in the late days now and it's got a great beat, you can dance to it, so I give it a 95. You just have to hear it. Tell me what you think.
And you you gotta love their backup singers and that piano extro at the end.
You also have to love someone who can admit their candidates', um, liabilities, and love her anyway. So give this ditty a listen, but vote Obama if you haven't already.
And if you're in Illinois, vote no on the Illinois Constitutional referendum. There is a separate call about Blago. But opening up a call about the constitution is just an open invitation to rape teacher, policeman, fireman and other government worker pensions to pay for mismanaged policies of Ryan and his predecessors and wreak other untold havoc. We don't need it.
Here's that video!
And whoever you support.
VOTE!
Even if you are for McCain. I mean that. Don't be a candy *ss.
Stand up and be counted in this election. If you don't vote the politicians think you don't care and that is worse than my candidate not winning. I think.
Oh, and if you are a 1 issue candidate. Ask yourself if your candidates have done anything real for your issue while they were in office. They haven't have they. Nada. In fact, for a lot of issues. Obama is the only one likely to sign off on money that would help the people that would help support your issue. Think about it.
Now, don't forget to vote! (Hopefully, Obama/Biden).
For those of you who have been coming back of the month of August hoping to see some kind of change for the last month and finding none, my apologies. I hope you took a chance and visited out archives and found some of the treasures buried in the 600 or so posts there.
Since this is mostly a comedy blog I won't go into the details, but I could skip living through this last few months again. Deaths in the family, personal crises, illness, pain, all this kinds of things, you are not coming here for. But, things are looking up and so, I think you should be able to see a return to regular postings here.
Regular? Two to three times a week, usually in spurts.
I discovered that the RSS feed isn't working right, I have to figure out how to fix that. If yours IS working right, leave a comment and let me know. I did manage to get the comment interface working better and some other features cleaned up.
If you have a child, hug them, watch them closely if they are near the water. A young relative drowned this summer. I have a young child. The stuff of nightmares. It's been almost a month now and he effect of the support of our community on the parents has been profound as all those who feel "there but for the grace of God go I" in this situation have extended their hearts and love to them.
I know that those in our house have, and if you pray, I invite you to do so for them and any of those who have lost dear ones of any age for any reason this summer.
I also lost another friend, who was my one of my best friend's uncles. A finer kinder person you would be hard pressed to find no matter how bright a light you had to shine on the world to fine one. Wise, funny, and neat to the point of a methodological that might have driven even Felix Unger mad were it not for the kindness and gentleness in which he practiced it (he did not expect others to be able to practice what he preached, he merely enabled them gently, when they visited him).
George was an enabler of the highest and best sort. An educator, a scientist, a friend, and 'weather' he enabled the world to understand his field of science to advance in unique and powerful ways, or his colleagues and students to grow and flourish as a result of knowing him, or the world to retain works of beautiful music that might otherwise have been lost, George enabled so many to a better life in many ways.
I got to know him first when my friend, his nephew became quite seriously ill, the kind of thing that only a small percentage survived, even in the early 1980's. That my friend survived was due to his courage in being willing to participate in experimental treatment, some luck in being in the right experimental group, some gumption on his own, and the knowledge of the deep and constant support of his 'Unc' who was there for him in ways that no one else could be, not even myself - poor as a church mouse as I was at the time I could not afford to fly to Seattle to be with my friend through the bone marrow transplant and other procedures, I was only able to talk to him by phone and letter. Not good enough. But Unc was a conduit of information to me.
I was terrified that I was going to lose my best friend at the time, in fact, I was in a play called Da, by Hugh Leonard, in which the main character is diagnosed with cancer and has to deal with the approach of his death at that very time. Since it was one of the few paying gigs I had gotten I couldn't help accepting, and it was worth it too, one of the best performances I ever gave. I played the older Kearns who learns some things about himself that he wished he had not by the end of the show and goes through a complex and complete emotional breakdown on stage. A subtle bit of work that shouldn't be forced; in the end, my fears about my friend came out every night on stage.
The audiences thought I was inspired. I knew the truth. I was petrified that my best friend would die in the middle of the production and that I would be unable to continue and would never work professionally again. Through all of that time, the wires between "Unc's" house and mine, and his hotel in Seattle and mine, ran hot and heavy. He gave me updates, I gave him humor pointers for cheering up my friend. It was a conspiracy of kindness to make sure he had the kind of support he needed to survive other storms brewing around him via the females of the species.
Over the years after that, Unc became Grunc as my friend's uncle became a grand Uncle. And I got to know him and his fastidious ways better. Having dinner with him was a real treat. First of all, he was a wonderful cook. Tasty and low fat. But then, watching him clean his kitchen was like watching a man in love with it. He looked very much like Jeff Smith, once known as PBS's the Frugal Gourmet, and took great care to clean his kitchen counters fastidiously. Just....so.
Every crumb came up off the tables and counters. Every particle of dust off the floor into the dust pan. Every unwanted spec into the garbage can under the sink, and every night, without fail, Grunc would take that paper garbage bag out of its container, raise it to the counter top, fold the edges so that the creases were razor sharp and meticulously fold the top down so that there was no possibility that any part of the contents could seep out. On some occasions, if seepage might become a problem, he might add a plastic bag outside the paper bag and put another paper bag around those two, just so that they appeared neat and strong.
Then, once folded neatly and correctly, Grunc would walk the package down the hall, open the door to the utility closet leading to the garbage chute, and his package would ever so neatly descend to the bottom. If, on rare occasions, Grunc had reason to believe that his 'parcel' did not reach the bottom without 'incident' he would then feel compelled to check, by taking the elevator down to the basement and investigating the matter. More than once he found an incredible mess because the garbage contractor had failed to show up to remove the waiting container that collected the garbage that waited at the bottom of the chute.
Grunc would then call the building super who more often than not was grateful to Grunc since no one else would tell him and he would be stuck cleaning up the mess. Grunc lived in a very old, prestigious building near the Museum of Science and Industry, but it was large enough generate a lot of trash.
Some times Grunc's fastidiousness could be hard on those he loved and he knew it, but he just could not help himself. He just wanted to make things easier for people.
One time my friends sister was visiting town and had a 19 year old nanny that wanted to see some of Chicago. They knew that I had been a tour guide and I got volunteered to her around town based largely on Grunc's, not my friend's character recommendation.
Since we would be returning possibly late, (Very late, O.o) Grunc felt that we needed instruction in how to open the door quietly, and to my chagrin and the whole group's stunned amusement proceeded to give a demonstration on how to put a key into a lock and turn it. LOL
I always suspected that he was planting a subconscious idea in both our heads, but it didn't take, at least on her part (rats). But the image of Grunc, in the hallway, bent over the lock, turning sideways with his funny crooked smile, looking half up as he demonstrated the best way to put the key in the lock and turn it just - so(!) to get it to open quietly, will ever remain in my heart as the quintessential Grunc moment.
I think you will have gathered by now that I came to love this old man who let me into his life as a friend as he did not so many others. Of course it was largely due to the fact that I cared deeply for his nephew, but we were both scientists, my lab was less formal, but we talked about my work a few times and he was greatly surprised when he understood the stringency of my methodology, which for a government operation, might not have been so strict. He read a number of my papers over the years and gave helpful comments, brief, it was not his field, but helpful, mostly in that he recognized in a way that others important to me in my life could not, the meaning of some of my achievements professionally. He truly understood them.
His death came as a surprise as I knew it would. Grunc was a private person. When I knew it was coming near I made sure to send him a note that at lest hinted at my feelings. I wanted to get together with him one last time but I suspected that I had missed my window and when he was hospitalized I was not given an opportunity to visit or call him. As I went through the stages of death I was quite angry about this for at least an hour. But that passed. I know that Grunc did not want me to remember him that way and now I don't.
I compare my healthy memories of Grunc to the memories of a six-year old cousin in her coffin and I know which ones I prefer. Funerals are hard for me. Especially the funerals of children. I guess that's true for everyone. But when you are the parent of a child the same age as the deceased it hits really close to home. More than I wanted to say.
So, back to the comedy in the next post.
Peter, A little saddle-sore - but as the Jesuits say, if it doesn't kill you, it builds character.
In the previous post one of my jokes was that we should move to a 4-day work week in summer time to help reduce fuel oil consumption.
I added to it that the work day should only be 9 hours long instead of 10. In effect, this would reduce the summer work week from 40-hours to 36 hours, but on 4 days instead of 5.
The benefit of this would be to reduce commuting gas consumption by 1 day per week per auto now commuting, or by about 20% while reducing the number of hours worked in the week by 4 or 10%.
It was initially a joke, but here is our chance to think about it. Is this such a far flung idea?
First, let's look at the idea of a four-hour per week cut in working hours since that would make the whole plan more workable. Ten hour workdays are long. Even with an extra day off per week, they are very hard. Nine on the other hand are not so bad.
An 8 to 4:30 day would become 8 to 5:30. Dinner would be later, but not horribly so. This would be offset by an extra day without work and commuting.
Next. Say most American's commute at least 1 hour per day round trip. In Chicago, many commute 2 -3 hours per day. So, losing one day's commute nearly entirely covers the longer days at work. In essence, by working longer four days a week the length of one day's total commute, many workers will then save not only the day worked, but that day's commute as well.
Now, for this to work, legislation would also be required so that full-time employee status/perks would not be lost by working 36 instead of 40 hours in the summer. There would be expenses required in altering payroll and accounting software to do this, but this has to be compared to the vast sums in fuel costs saved both in immediate savings at the pump, and in lowered prices because of lowered international demand.
While we may no longer be the whole international fuel consumption story anymore, a drop in U.S. fuel consumption caused by a 20% decline in auto commuting mileage might very well have a significant effect on gas prices.
Why do this in summer? To start with there are two big reasons.
In summer time the amount of sunlight available here is much greater. You work an extra hour a day and there is still plenty of sunlight left when you get home to spend time with the kids, your family, or your online connection. In winter, it will just be darker.
Also, as a summer program, the day off will be in the nicest weather of the year, when people are most inclined to play hooky and take spontaneous days off anyway. This program might actually help reduce summer absenteeism and help employers save money on their benefits packages.
How do we decide who gets to take what day off? Good question. One could argue that for maximum efficiency at the workplace everyone should take the same day off, Monday, Wednesday or Friday. In this way it will seem to the rest of the U.S. as if nothing has changed. We all start and stop at once and everyone is there when everyone needs us there for work reasons.
There is at least one disadvantage to this method however, it does not maximize fuel savings in areas with dense auto traffic. In areas like Chicago it would be much better for people to pick their own day off each week of the five, or rotate them, so that the reduction in normal summer auto commute traffic is spread through the week. Spreading out the reduction in auto traffic across the days of the week would reduce traffic congestion to its maximum and reduce gas wasted by stop and go traffic patterns.
A flaw in the system could be, let's be honest, is that if traffic gets too light that it might encourage those who use public transportation to drive instead because the hassles of driving are reduced.
However, this might be offset by reduced crowding on Public Transportation vehicles during commuting times. Making public transportation more comfortable and reliable since most schedule delays such as bus bunching occur due to unexpected overcrowding on a bus route. System planners would have to take into account that the commute flows would be longer, but the work schedules for transit workers already put more vehicles out in the early evening than are needed to complete an 8 hour day for transit workers.
Yep, there's a complex problem, how do you handle the 36-hour week for employees in jobs like bus and train operator? Carefully at first. Though they already hire summer help since most transit workers want to take a vacation in the summer just like everybody else. They may just wind up "picking" their summer work schedules just like they do now. With as little flexibility as they do now, but with the same degree of reliability for themselves.
Oh, that leads to the overtime question. When does it kick in? After 36 hours or 40? Good question. I think that might have to depend on business size. But since employers would be gaining some efficiency by having workers focused on a more limited number of days and being able to alter hiring during the summer to use workstations differently, having 10-15% more employees if they desire without increasing office space, it might be that over 9 hours in a day where all 36 were worked would have to be the rule. However, to what degree should we discourage employers from creating 5th day overtime among salaried employees.
A lot I should think. But then again, we are in an economic system that encourages many extra hours and hard work. So perhaps for exempt employees this does not make sense at all. But perhaps, at least for one season a year, it should.
Well, some initial thoughts on a modest proposal, more modest than that one by Jonathan Swift at any rate. Easier to swallow too.
Oh, we could combine it with another idea I had, legislated 40% parking discounts for those who show up with 3 riders in a parking lot in downtown areas that are in ozone non-attainment zones. Or wherever air pollution is bad. There might have to be some kind of tax rebate to garage operators to help pay for this, but the benefits in reduced auto usage would be substantial.
What are your thoughts on this. I'm looking for ideas to help make something work. Not catcalls on why all ideas are doomed to fail. What better ideas do you have?
Oh, yes, if people are at home one day a week they may do some driving as well. But home-based non-work trips tend to be a lot shorter than driving to work commuter trips so probably the gas usage will be lower. The emissions might not because of something called the "cold start" phenomenon. Of course, if the weather is really sweltering, getting the auto engine up to maximum fuel efficiency should be a lot quicker in the summer in cold areas than in the winter.
It is so nice that the nice warm weather is starting to be regular here!
It's been a heck of a fight, and there have been a lot of things I did not like about it, but tonight's results show me, that even with CNN's projection that Clinton took Indiana, the 147 vote delegate count Obama lead still creates a hurdle that is too high for Clinton to breach between now and the end of the primaries.
America loves a fighter and a scrappy underdog. But if Clinton does not win the nomination and winds up dragging Obama through the dirt to try to get it, she risks being seen as the Ralph Nader of the 2008 political season. Of course, she could win. The Chicago Cubs and the Chicago White Sox could also fight each other out in the World Series this year.
With all due respect, and respect is due, that it is time for Senator Hillary Clinton to end her campaign for President and begin her campaign for the Vice-Presidential nomination.
147 Delegates is too many. Democrats will not stand for a super-delegate win when the regular delegate vote puts Obama ahead. It would cause the same kind of disillusionment that the Party faced after the Gore vote theft defeat.
Her name will still be on the last ballots of course, but pulling out now will make her appear to be an actual uniter instead of a divider and at this time, this is what the Democratic Party needs. So think Ms. Clinton. Sometimes hubris isn't enough.
AND IF WE CAN'T TRUST YOU TO FACE UP TO THE TRUTH AND ADMIT IT DURING AN ELECTION WHAT THE HECK SHOULD WE EXPECT YOU TO DO IN OFFICE?
After arguably eight years of the worst White House in human history, the Democratic Party MUST stop the infighting NOW and start working on the Presidential Campaign.
Ms. Clinton is an ideal VP candidate because she reaches the rest of the demographics that Obama does not. Looking at their vote totals from state to state they make an indomitable team. Clinton as VP will encourage Republican Woman crossover that will exceed whatever Male residual Clinton hating is left over.
They are both smart as hell, they both can work together. But the Dems always wait too long giving the Republicans a huge advantage when it comes to getting rolling for the fall.
Why do this?
Obama's lead might be mathematically possible to beat, but NC and enough of Indiana did not fall for the Rev. Wright "issue relevance" late election season scam that started somewhere.
No matter what or how it started, we now know enough about Senator Obama to see past whose Church he went to as an issue. It's not something that should be relevant as an election issue and we all know it.
That kind of thing died with the "Jack Kennedy will take orders from the Pope" lies from Nixon's campaign.
Americans LIKE Barack Obama. He's proven his electability to all but a few North-Shore Illinois Chicago Cubs Fans and they never give up.
We'll see what happens. But trying to "scandal" Obama some more isn't going to work, folks. Not while memories of Whitewater and that blue dress and other things it is not fair to taint Hillary with pop into mind when someone tries to stick something on Senator Obama.
What I really want of course is a great president. They are both capable. But I think the dems have spoken over all and think Obama is either better or a more winning Presidential candidate. At least given that Obama Girl does not look 35 yet.
I hope we get one.
But already I see signs of Republican scandal following the Bush Administration mistakes coming for maybe the next 8 years. So if we don't get some dems in now, once the do get in, they'll be in forever.
Or, maybe I've just been juggling cats too long tonight and am getting goofy. When looking for political commentary consider the source. Then again, maybe this humble comedy blogger is about as good as anyone else out there tonight.
Stop the drinking the 97 Octane Shots during Happy Hour at Stumpy's Truck Stop and Redneck Bar.
Get American Automakers to rethink that whole - "Naw, only geeks would buy electric cars" idea.
Slot machines and dice tables on all public buses and trains to build transit use and create homes for permanent moving craps games.
Baywatch Babes on all Transit Cards.
Cars to have solar panels and sails. Auto foredecks for bikini sunbathing still under debate. While this measure will slow traffic, it may cause accidents.
Give up on Pappy Reagan's idea of not aiding Transit Operations funding with Federal Operations Dollars. The idea to cut Federal Operating Existence was a terrible one then (late 1980's) and it is one now. The theory was that states would pick up the difference, but they did not, at least not in proportion to the funds that were eliminated. The difference in the Chicago region in the years since the cuts is well over a Billion Dollars and climbing.
So instead, our own federal Government drove millions of people off transit and into toxic emitting autos. Wonder if the auto industry lobbyists had anything to do with that idea?
Moving people in large urban areas to public transportation, preferably hydrogen buses, is an extremely cost-effective way, to reduce toxic emissions, reduce asthma causing smog, and reduce greenhouse gasses.
You'd think this wasn't a comedy blog anymore. It is! But no parent can help feeling bad for the grandfather who saw his 2-year-old grandson blown into Lake Michigan and founder underwater until he was pulled out and rushed to a hospital by emergency crews after 15 minutes submerged.
A parent's nightmare. Really. When you first realize that your wife is pregnant along with the joy are the worries of all the things that have gone wrong to others that creep into your thoughts and dreams. A friend saw her three-year-old bounce off the bed, through a screen and out the three story window of her apartment. Fortunately into the bushes below.
"Mom! Can I do that again!"
She still quivers a little when she tells that story behind the laughs as she tells it. Be careful where you let your toddlers bounce is the moral of that tale.
The moral of this tale is, be very careful when walking a small child along a pier along any body of water if you yourself cannot swim.
When my son was three I took him down to the harbors along the lakeshore. I let him walk down the piers and look right into the water. He laughed and giggled and had lots of fun. But this story does not make me worry that this was a dangerous thing to do. I was prepared for that activity.
First, it was a calm weather day. No heavy winds.
Second, as a teenager I earned both the Boy Scouts Scout Lifeguard Award, the rough equivalent to the Red Cross Water Safety Instructor except that it also has a rowing requirement, I followed that up with Red Cross Advanced Life Saving and Red Cross CPR in College, then before our son was born, my wife and I got certified in Red Cross Infant and Child CPR at a local hospital.
If my son had fallen into the water I would have been able to pull him out in seconds. Had he stopped breathing, I knew what to do while running to a phone to call 911. Though I had a cell phone with me so that was not needed. But I was prepared. You can be too.
If you live near a large body of water be careful near it. Keep close to kids, near the water if you can't swim.
The grandpa in this case did one thing right. By not jumping in when he did not know how to swim he did not cause a double-drowning. Instead, someone saw him and that gave his grandson the best chance he could get.
Never risk a double drowning, but if you know how, this is the order to do it.
Reach
Throw
Row
But only go if you know how. If you do, try to bring something that floats, like a ring buoy (life preserver) (they are to be thrown over the shoulders of a victim and drawn back not aimed at the head!) or an inflatable something.
Don't ever let a panicked swimmer grab you. Especially by the neck.
Let's keep this family in our prayers.
And as the sporting season starts, make sure you have a safety vest for everyone on your boat. Not only is it the law, but it prevents tragedies on very small craft.
They are an absolute must for canoes.
I will never forget the year after earning Scout Lifeguard being on a 30 mile canoe trip with a non-swimmer in the bow of my canoe. We were on the White River, near Whitehall, Michigan, just where it starts to feed into White Lake. About a half hour before we would land at Arf n' Barf.
He was wearing his vest. But he was also painfully thin.
It was a windy day and we actually had waves on this part of the river that were 6 to 8 inches high. Very unusual. Most of the river is only a foot to 3 feet deep. But at this part it opens up to about 12 feet deep. I was in the stern, the back of the canoe that controls or steers where the canoe would go. He wanted to move further back and I told him No!
He stood up in the canoe to move back anyway. Without his paddling we started to turn sideways to the wind and waves. I yelled to him as gently as I could to be careful and stay low so that he would not present himself like a sail to the wind. He stood straight up to hear me better, then lost his balance. Over we went.
The canoe turned upside down. I immediately came to the surface. He was not on my side of the canoe. I dived, wearing my vest this was hard, under the canoe to make sure he was not trapped underneath it then came up on the underside of it. He was not on the other side. But his vest was.
The kid was so thin that he had slid right out of his life vest and gone straight to the bottom of the river which had a mud bottom. I yelled to some of the older kids behind us to come then dove down to the bottom.
I could see him down there, barely, through the muddy water. He was not moving or struggling. Fighting the pull of the vest was one of the hardest things I have ever done, the water was at least 12 feet down and perhaps 15, it took all my strength.
He looked up at me, reached up to me with his hand, I grabbed it and pulled him into a cross-chest carry with control and the vest rocketed us up to the surface. At the top he exploded out the breath he had been holding.
When I shouted at him why hadn't he tried to come up to the surface he shrugged and said. "I was waiting for you. I knew you'd come get me." Nice. Very nice. By this time a couple of the other canoes got there and I had lashed the kid back into his vest and pushed him into one of the other canoes. We then did a maneuver called canoe over canoe rescue.
To do this you need a second canoe. While the overturned canoe is still upside-down you push one end down so that the other end comes up over the middle of the other canoe. Then you push the over turned canoe up until it is balanced on the middle of the other canoe upside down. Then when it is balanced in the middle, you can turn the canoe over out of the water and slide it back into the water floating. Then the person(s) in the other canoe can hold both canoes together by the thwarts, sides, to make it easier for the people in the water to get back in.
This was in some ways the most panicked of all, I wanted us to get back in the canoe before our Scoutmaster and assistant scoutmaster came around the bend and saw what had happened. I did not want them to know that I had dumped a 10-year old non-swimmer to the bottom of While Lake and almost drowned him. The current had been moving fast. If I had missed him on that first attempt, I don't know if I could have found him on a second try. It was terrifying.
I also did not know if I had the strength for a second or third try given the depth and the strength it took to fight the life vest and my own considerable natural buoyancy. The senior scouts with me and the kid looked at each other in shock.
"Pete", one said, "You almost really screwed that one up."
"Yeah," said another, "But you didn't."
"Hey," I said, "What Willy doesn't know," our Scoutmaster, "won't cause him any lost sleep or tears."
"Right." They all agreed.
"You!" The biggest of the lot said to the kid. "Keep your mouth shut about this and your butt in the bottom of the canoe."
I used what we called Willy-rope, rope our Scoutmaster used to get from tossed-out rope from his employer to tie the vest onto the kid and sat him down while we were still together. I was tempted to tie him to the canoe, but that was unsafe. We moved close to the North bank of the river, the Arf N' Barf side, and moved together as a group the last mile or so to our landing place well ahead still of the last of the 30 canoes with Willy in it.
I don't know if he ever learned that story.
Ten years later I was at my one of my sister's weddings and the kid's sister came up to me.
"Hi Peter," she said in a manner that was a lot friendlier than I would have expected given our lack of time spent together. She was my sisters' friend after all. I said Hi. She looked around. Noticed that we were sort of alone, then she grabbed me and kissed me. Hard.
"Wow! What was that for? I mean, thanks."
"You'll know what that was for if you think a little.:
"What?"
"Done any canoeing lately? Say on the White River at Owasippe?" Then the penny dropped. I knew that she knew. "Thanks. I really have liked having my brother around for the last 10 years. You know he only told me that story recently so its still a little shocking. I don't know what I would have done..."
That's more than you need to know. It made me feel good that someone knew and remembered what had happened. Not my stupidity in letting the situation get that far, though I had done all the warning I could have. But I was even gladder to hear how well he had done since then. That was the best news of all.
Switching back to the news story. This toddler has a possible future just like the kid in my story. It may be that he goes on to a great life. I sure hope so. But all those involved in his rescue deserve kudos for the attempt, from the stranger who stopped and called it in, to each hospital worker. Each life touches so many others. Each one we save, touches thousands more.
And I did not act alone. I was in the position to go to the bottom. But I had the support of the other canoes that rushed to my side. They just didn't help me hide it from Willy. That really wasn't important in the long run. They helped me get the kid out of the water fast. And back into a safe canoe, in a life vest.
When you go out in the water this summer, make sure you wear a properly fitting life vest.
Note: The White River trips started at Canoe Central near the Administration Center and Horse Corral and Ended in Whitehall at Dog 'n Suds which had great food. After almost two weeks of camp food it was like heaven on earth despite our nickname for it.
I've seen some comments in blogs from Alaska and California asking why an Illinois or Midwest earthquake should be such a big deal if its only a 5.2.
My main response is this.
Unlike their regions, where earthquakes are commonplace and expected, earthquakes here are rare, and are outside the experience of most people. More, most people in the Midwest until now have been completely unaware of even the possibility of an earthquake here.
This means that most homes in major cities that could be affected by a very large earthquake, such as a 7.0 - 8.0, including St. Louis, Memphis, Kansas City, Atlanta, Gary and Chicago have not been built to the kind of building codes used in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Anchorage, etc., where earthquakes are known to occur.
There are exceptions that I know about. Sears Tower for example, even though it was built to be the World's tallest building in the 1970's was deliberately built to be earthquake resistant through its basic design. It sways in heavy winds and in a major earthquake would rock heavily, but it would take the ground splitting underneath it, which as far as we know, due to the large distance between Chicago and the fault line, is extremely unlikely, to knock it down.
Many other major structures might not fare so well here. Which ones? How much damage they might take? Who knows?
The fact that it has not happened here and that people are very upset makes it newsworthy.
The fact that we are less prepared than you makes it newsworthy.
The fact that the press was surprised probably gave it an extra bump in the news.
But really, anyone who complains that our earthquakes are getting more attention than their earthquakes is really being petty. Very petty. Or are maybe being what are known in the newsgroups as "trolls" people deliberately stirring up trouble, just to do so. For their own sake.
In the matter of earthquakes, this is not funny. I am a comedy writer, so I did a piece today on earthquakes which I hope is funny. That's a good thing, it relieves stress about something that really worries people.
But what we really should be doing about it is thinking, O.K., this is something that really could happen here, what should we as individuals and family members or neighbors be ready to do about it. What's our PLAN?
"I survived Hurricane Frederick - 1979" were the pins that my College gave out after the storm. I've been through a natural disaster, not as bad as some hurricanes go, but bad enough to be without lights, running water for days and to have very significant storm damage to deal with for months. The college (Spring Hill College) was very prepared. It had a great disaster plan.
We were safe during the storm, or as safe as we could be, in highly reinforced buildings, there were ample emergency supplies, electricity was back up through emergency generators in a few critical areas quickly, and emergency volunteer clean-up efforts were safely organized so that in hours any dangerous overhanging tree-fall was gone in walking paths, and in a day or two all roads and pathways on the campus were clear enough for traffic. Psychological damage and stress relief programs were in place right away too.
So, what's your plan. Does your family know where to meet, how to get together if the cells go out and your cell phones don't work because all the towers are down or unpowered. Expect that this will happen in a major earthquake and a significant amount of stress will be relieved if you have a plan for it.
Fire is a major problem in earthquakes.
Where is it safest to be in an earthquake?
That might be a critical issues during one and might vary by building downtown in Chicago. If I was in Sears Tower I wouldn't leave it and if I was just outside I would try to duck inside immediately before the sheets of glass began to fall from 103 stories up. Or they might not. It would have to be a mammoth quake to do that.
But you have to think about the worst sometimes and plan for it so that you can think clearly if it does happen. Then, forget about it except to keep your emergency supplies like fresh water up to date.
I'll try to update this post with some disaster prep links or info in this post.
I think there was just an earthquake aftershock. Shorter, but perhaps more powerful? None of the earlier warning kind of things, just shaking though there was some vibration through my feet. Could the difference in part be that I am now wearing shoes?
My dad said that he felt the first one and timed it at 3 minutes. He lives in a brick house though. He recognized it immediately from one he experienced the first day he got to Japan in the 1950's.
Revised: 10:50
Nothing on the media or USGS Looks like it was just my imagination?
Revised: 10:54 I was right! http://pasadena.wr.usgs.gov/shake/cus/ Reports that there was a 4.5 magnitude earthquake 18 miles SE of Olney Illinois. It was not my imagination (KEN!) even if there is no word on CNN, yet. Perhaps my blog is just a better news source on this stuff. hah! I run rings around you logically.
(My sense that it was smaller was also surprisingly correct.)
I'm hoping that the lack of information about injuries and deaths so far is a sign that the earthquake early this morning resulted in none.
An Earthquake hit the State of Illinois according to the USGS at 4:36 Central Standard time with an Epicenter in far downstate Illinois with a Magnitude of 5.2 (revised at 10:51) on the Richter Scale.
At the time I was having trouble sleeping. This is not unusual. Chronic pain sufferers endure sleep problems. So I was awake when I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise. Suddenly, I had this odd sensation like someone else had entered the room from behind me, which happened to be SSSE the direction of the quake's epicenter from my home in Chicago.
The lights were off in my bedroom so I turned them on, but no one was there.
Suddenly there was an odd feeling of pressure, as if our 1880 frame house was feeling a strong breeze.
I then realized the pressure had a rhythmic quality and I had trouble figuring out what it was for perhaps a second and then it hit me, the odds were strong that I was feeling a low magnitude earthquake!
I had a flash sense that it had to be from the Missouri Fault Line - I think that's what it is called - which runs on a line through or just south of Southern Illinois From Missouri to Kentucky or Ohio. CNN probably has the details out by now.
That gave me a flash worry about people who I knew from St. Louis who I knew from Spring Hill College, many of whom I had not seen for 28 years Jim, Bill, Karen, Mary Sue, Carl's family (I think Carl is in Toronto now) - all their families - even some I had seen more recently, like Vinny.
That took me about a microsecond after realizing that it was an earthquake.
In another instant I debated waking the others in the house: was that an increase in the quake's intensity?
Then I felt some actual movement or swaying in the house. The ceiling fan above me had begun to sway just a little and I could feel a bassy vibration through the floor through my socks. Not enough for real swaying of the house, but enough to know that something was there. Kind of like the subway running by underground. Of course, we don't live over the subway, and this was a lot more powerful.
This feeling was probably a component wave of the earthquake as it spread in all directions from either the surface above the origin of the quake, or the actual underground source, but unlike that actual shaking you would feel much closer to the quake, was more like the thump-thump-thump base of the speakers that you might feel through the walls of your dorm from a band in the quad.
But this thump was slow. Earthquakes must have a very low frequency a long distance away. But not too low. There was a vibrato in the thicker vibrations that I felt coming up through the floor. I'm taking a long time to describe something that only took seconds to experience.
No - I stayed put - it seemed that what I was feeling was as much as we were going to feel. This time.
The richter scale is a scale where each digit is geometrically higher than the one above it. So a 6 on the scale is a lot stronger than a 5, and a 7 is a whole lot stronger than a 6. And no one wants to be anywhere near an 8 or 9.
Living in the Beverly Hills neighborhood of Chicago, which is just west of the I-57/I-94 split, that is on the far southwest side, the fact that this quake could be felt here means that it must have been a doozy downstate. Not enough to bring down all the houses, better watch the news to make sure, but let's hope that this is a tension relief earthquake that gets us by for a few decades and is not the precursor to something a lot stronger.
I hate to think like this, but in the buying wood or buying brick house debate, I'm glad I'm living in a wood house right now. They flex better in earthquakes. But it looks like I might just need to check out the fine print in my homeowners insurance right about now.
I predict increased interest in earthquake insurance in the Midwest, if we can get it.
March 15th is the Ides of March. But don't worry. The Ides of March shouldn't be an unlucky day for you.
The Ides or the 15th of each month on the Roman Calendar used in 44 B.C. was unlucky only for Gaius Julius Caesar Imperator Pontifex Primum Praeter Counsul Imperator Rex. (Later, his adopted son Octavius who conned Cicero into conning the Senate into naming Octavius Counsul of Rome had the Senate declare Julius Caesar a god too, but that happened after Caesar's death.)
Easier then, the Romans had lots of Gods. Of course later, Augustus got himself elevated to god-hood too, as well as month hood, for him and uncle Julius (July and Augus, of course), got himself named Emporer for life after getting Marc Anthony to bump himself off in Alexandria and even more important, survived to the ripe old age of 71.
There's a song to remember Julius Caesar's titles that I learned in Latin Class - It goes to the tune of "Clementine"
Gaius Julius Caesar Noster Imperator Pontifex Primum Praeter Diende Counsul Nunc Dicator Mox Que Rex.
Julius omens, warnings, portents, dreams, and the stark political realities of the fear he had created in the old Republican Guard, and so was stabbed on the floor of the Roman Senate 23 times, including by his old friend Brutus, it is said. (Leading to Shakespeare's Line, "Et tu, Brute?" (And you, Brutus?) Brutus is said to have been the last to give old Julius the Shiv.)
Anyway this event has given the Ides of March a bad name for the more than 2000 years since.
We Americans really should amend it though! Instead we should say:
BEWARE THE IDES OF APRIL! It WILL be a taxing time for us all.
Happy St. Patrick's day, that's the 17th of this month otherwise known as -wait for it,
I've been thinking, Obama has a lot going for him, but his campaign needs, something, a certain something. I know, it needs a campaign song. Something easily singable. Not a Fleetwood Mac song. Something suggesting basic values & the need for change.
So I came up with this. I'll bet half the nation is singing this within a week.
Well, maybe not. But I had fun doing it. Then I had to take out all the bashing. LOL.
Still, it was fun. What do you think? Please, use the comments section to tell me what you think!
I'm going to vote for Obama he's our next President I'm sick and tired of the same old rut they took our money and spent, spent, spent, spent, spent.
What we need is a leader who can steer us right back on course 'cause if we don't - make some kind of change - things in America could get still worse!
So first, he needs nomination then, he needs our support then, we get out voter registration So in the end we won't fall just sho-o-ort.
Obama can heal the nation join the Obama campaign, get - on - the Obama bandwagon - you'll be - glad - you came!
Important! This song has not been endorsed by Senator Obama.
Even so, you can easily forward this to friends and relatives using the envelope icon below. If I get a chance I will update this post with a sound clip. Oh joy, you are thinking if you have heard me sing on My Blog Theme Song on the sidebar (snicker).
Another Joke from my friend Andy. But is it really a joke?
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.
'Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the members of our Congress.--
Vote carefully this year!
Be like Andy, send me a joke and I'll give you credit. Just put it in a post comment and if I like it (probably) I will move it up to its own post and give you credit. Otherwise I will leave it in the comments section. The only things I edit out by the way are obscenity and obvious spam. If you have your own blog, even a competing comedy blog, feel free to mention it. I am happy to do cross links!
Judge upholds Blue Lake Township Zoning Ordinance, Chicago Area Council says it plans to file an appeal. OOEC says it will announce a counter-purchase offer to continue Owasippe operations within the context of the zoning in place.
To keep this long story short, the professional scouters and perhaps some volunteer scouters, decided that it was too expensive to keep operating one of the oldest scout camps in America, The Owasippe Scout Reservation located near Whitehall, Michigan.
The Chicago Area Council applied for a variance in the zoning that to allow them to sell at least some of the Owasippe land for residential development but Blue Lake Township, Michigan, denied the variance, triggering a lawsuit which was decided this week in favor of the Township and all those who did not want the Chicago Area Council of the Boy Scouts (the professionals) to sell the land. For a better explanation, see the story in the MLive.com account.
The issue for Chicago Volunteer Scouters was huge, Owasippe, established in 1911, the nation's premiere Boy Scout Camp Reservation, had been put on the slab despite wishes to the contrary of most of the volunteer scouters (read members and leaders) present and past. Most active in the outcry were current active unit leaders and members of the Owasippe Staff Organization (OSA) some of whom founded the OOEC the Owasippe Outdoor Education Center which has been actively raising money and gathering partners to purchase the property for continued use as a camping and high adventure facility which would still be accessible to Chicago Scouts as well as many other organizations.
For Blue Lake Township, the victory was significant because it confirmed their right to control long-term zoning in relationship to their master plan. Conflict on this issue is something that often plagues small townships and so this court decision is meaningful beyond the scope of its meaning to the Boy Scouts. Often real estate or other commercial interests that do not have the long term interests of a community in mind attempt to force changes in zoning to their short-term benefit that are not consistent with the long-term goals of the community. As ruled, this case gives communities more strength to support the strength of zoning based on their master plan. It also means that unless they lose on appeal, they will not have to pay significant court costs and attorneys fees.
The press account suggests that the case will be appealed. I am not a lawyer, though I have played one on the stage as well as a solicitor, and a barrister who happened to be a Q.C., so I really can't fill you in on all the legal implications on what might or might happen, but here's what I think.
I read the opinions online and it was hard for me to find errors on which to base an appeal. That is what appeals are based on, some error by the judge either in procedure or in the law. Both sides had no quibbles with the judge outstanding before the final judgement of the case, so it will be hard to see on what basis the claim with be, possibly just a rehash of the case, but usually it should be based on some error of the judge and not just a disagreement over the facts. But lawyers bill by the hours, so....
On a more personal basis, I think that the local Scout Office erred in trying to sell the land in the first place. As a former registered member for many years, a six-summer Owasippe camp staff attendee, a camp staff member for two summers, and now a lifetime member of the Owasippe Staff Association (but not an investor in the EEOC), I was a direct beneficiary of all the wealth of earth and heaven found at the Owasippe Scout Reservation.
The land is beautiful and lovely. The lakes and rivers are clean and fresh. There is wildlife aplenty to see and be near. There is plenty of acreage to get lost on if you are not careful, and room enough for a 50 mile canoe trip with a campsite near an 'Indian Burial Ground' with phosphor glowing stumps and stars racing across the night sky in August where you can sometimes also see the Northern Lights.
I'll never forget the night I was out on an individual overnight camping experience under the stars and I happened to get one of the nights of the August meteor showers. How beautiful and majestic and humbling it was. The stars fell in such thin pinstripes across the sky, silent and straight as if they were passing through rather than falling down. It was hours of reminders of how small we were in the universe. What is an experience like that worth, one he will never forget, to a Chicago boy who goes months without seeing the stars?
I also worked for the Boy Scouts for a time. Professional Scouters get a lot of training, more training than in almost any career than teaching or the military I think, because scouting sees itself first as an educational organization rather than a camping organization. I think that is the source of the tension between the volunteer scouters and the professionals in this situation. The Scout Executive probably sees large numbers of kids who will never be able to go to camp who scouting can at least provide some good leadership training without a summer camp in Michigan, whereas the bulk of the long term volunteers see the long term summer camp as the reason to be scouters in the first place.
Culturally, there is a whole family of Owasippe. I do mean family. The camp has made many marriages, yep, they have girls working at the family camp, camp Reneker, that is one of the section camps, and once in a blue moon, a girl has been on the staff of one of the section camps of Owasippe. (Owasippe is set up as a number of section camps each of which can handle a fair number of troops or Explorer Posts so that between the section camps, Family Camp at Reneker and the high adventure camp, total summer attendance is in the thousands, though lower than in the 70's and in the 80's.
A point the CAC makes is that there are fewer young kids right now than before. This however is a short term point of view. We don't ever make any more property, especially this kind of pristine, undeveloped wilderness/forest and lakes. Population in America continues to grow. Yes we had a kid slack-off because the baby boom got older. But guess what, their kids are starting to have kids and so forth. The numbers are starting to climb back up. Absent a plague, act of war, famine, or other disaster, odds are that very soon the demand for camping facilities will be very much higher 10 years from now.
But the trend in Boy Scout Councils across the country has apparently to get rid of these old-fashioned troublesome camp properties. There is a little bubble that the exec's wind up in, its almost impossible to avoid, I know, I wound up in it for awhile. You get caught dancing to the tune of the national Chief Scout Executive in Dallas who wants to make his mark on Scouting. The first thing they do is issue a new Boy Scout Handbook. Just see if it isn't so.
When I got a tour of the National Offices For NEI training, I actually got to walk into his office and sit in his chair. Nice view. Lots of wide open space. Encourages big thinking. Trend setting. And so down the line over the years have come some good and not so good programs and fads.
Tiger Cubs - great program! Get those second graders in with their family members and you have the inside edge on new Cub Scout Leaders! And the stickers are cute!
Those belt loop awards - eh, could have been worse.
Membership restriction - whatever the intent - disaster. Now there is the reason you have declining fall in use of your summer camp. Don't go pointing fingers at a declining interest in camping.
This issue is a thorny one. Boy Scout units don't belong to the National BSA, they belong to the sponsoring organization or Chartered Partners who sponsor them. A very large number of the Boy Scout chartered partners are Churches. A little known fact is that Scouting is the official youth program of the Mormon Church. Interesting side note, LDS units have a rule that all weekend camping trips roll up and head home before midnight on Saturday.
As a result of all this sponsorship by churches of all kinds, the National Office may be afraid not to continue the insistence that the Boy Scouts of America hold the line on its members express a belief in God (no atheists). Once this got to be a point of contention, this meant that the ACLU started attacking any civic organization sponsoring a Boy Scout unit.
So if the CAC has a camp operating revenue problem, it should not blame it on the camp. That is more than a little unfair. Instead what the council should be doing is thinking strategically about how to endow the camp so that its operations are covered in perpetuity and it is operating off of the interest of its endowments.
But the national scouting trend seems to be to dump these inconvenient little properties. That's just too bad. Well Owasippe is not some little 20 acre council property in Ohio. Owasippe is 4,800 acres of forests and rivers adjacent to some National Forest that is accessible for hiking and camping as well. Making the entire experience a grand one.
From camping merit badge, to swimming, through scout lifeguard, from archery through rifle and shotgun shooting, from ecology to pioneering, cooking to orienteering, even horsemanship can be obtained at Owasippe. Some of these merit badges are required to make Eagle.
And that is why you need a summer camp. In an urban area like Chicago, just where is someone going to get camping, cooking, swimming, and lifesaving merit badges in a fairly short order? Even in two summers?
Well, that's my rant. For more, follow the links above.
Commentary: Newsflash! The Peter Files Blog of Comedy Announces its 2008 Primary Political Endorsement
As regular readers may be aware these comedy, satire, joke, commentary and video pages have long engaged in politically based humor, much of it aimed squarely at the cucumbent President of the United States of America, George Herbert Walker Bush.
Because of that, the fact that this "noble" blog might actually follow in the footsteps of Ted and Caroline Kennedy in making an official primary election endorsement, may come to no surprise to them.
Surprising instead, may be our contention that we can predict with absolute certainty that our endorsement will be just as valid after the primary elections, as before, because of our special tracking of the humor pulse of Americans during these last three years.
We can also predict with confidence that if large numbers of Americans fendorsement in the general election this fall, will have a positive impact on World opinion of the United States of America and of America in General.
If you saw the State of the Union Address made by President Bush last night you could not help but be struck with the depth of the problems facing out nation. While not facing disaster, or a World War, we nonetheless face crises that require teamwork and ideas from all sectors from our society. These serious problems also require national leadership from a President capable of intelligent leadership uniting both sides of the aisle.
Do you know enough about the candidates to say that any of them have those essential leadership qualities? So many do not. This is why we at the Peter Files Blog of Comedy have decided to step out of our role as humorists, satirists and comedians and write a bit about these elections and take the rare step of making an endorsement.
In this, we are reminded of the fact that we are all Americans and in times like these the one thing we need to do is take a hard look at all the candidates, and for many of us this might mean making a hard choice, even though may go against the grain, even though it might make you or us uncomfortable, even though it may even go against generations of practice among our/your family and friends value and practices, in the end, if you are convinced you are doing the right thing, the conscientious thing, at least for the office of President, you may find peace and satisfaction ultimately in your decision that you have not known before.
In considering following the endorsement of The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, you may well ask yourself, why should I listen to the advice of a small but lonely voice on the internet? Especially one so often full of satire, humor and jokes and rarely engaged in well documented political discourse?
Why? Because you can. You may disagree. But in this age of the Internet, where so many of us effectively have our own printing presses with the ability to print our own version of Poor Richard's Almanac, or any other political idea via our Constitutionally protected freedom of speech via the Bill of Rights we now have the ability to find like minds is unsurpassed in human history. Perhaps the ideas here, which stand or fall on their own merit as all ideas should, are ones that will resonate within you. We hope so. If not, please feel free to comment if you feel your ideas are better. Share your ideas instead. I try to check for comments every day.
The only comments we edit out here, are those with obscenity (avoid the 7+ words you can't say on television, this is a safe for family blog) or those that are robot generated spam. Feel free to include your blog's address at the end of your comment. Just have a relative comment please.
You have the freedom, and the right, to add to this discussion, intelligently, where you can, or add a relevant joke. Yes, this is still a comedy blog after all, but let us not forget, even Ben Franklin was known to crack a joke or two, but don't think we're claiming his level of genius.
The answer for why you should consider our endorsement is that, as small a voice as this blog may be, if you listen to your conscience, if you truly examine the reasoning here, then take a hard look at the candidates, and actually look at their credentials and what they really offer the country, your choice in this matter will become clear to you.
You may follow our endorsement solely because you think it is clearly the only right moral and honest, responsible, thing to do. It certainly passes the philosopher Immanuel Kant's categorical imperative test: essentially, an action is acceptable if you yourself can live with the consequences if everyone else does it too. There are certainly those who would agree that this would be true.
You may will recognize, as we do that it has already become clear that in this election year that there truly is one clear choice, one moral imperative that all responsible Americans must choose when their primary election comes up, even when they fear, as many do, that in following our endorsement, what we believe is the best and most patriotic choice for these perilous times, the choice needed to tell the world that America, regardless of whatever mistakes we have made, or have not made in the last years is at heart a stronger country than it was before with the ability to choose a leader that represents of our nation.
Our Endorsement:
With this in mind, the Peter Files Comedy Blog Officially Endorses for the 2008 Primary and General Presidential Elections:
That You VOTE!
Believe it or not, we don't want to proscribe who you should vote for. Naturally, some of us have strong preferences. But please, just vote. Encourage others to do the same. IF you are one of those who can vote but have given up on the process or have never voted before and are eligible to vote please do what it takes to vote this year.
We hope that you will also take the time to listen to the candidates in the primary elections, and make an informed decision at the polls, even if it means crossing party lines (regardless of which way you cross - if you feel you should do so this election).
Note: Regular readers of this blog might assume that this blog would endorse either ***Senator Obama*** or Senator Clinton automatically and that they would be safe from our reporting of the kind of jokes, jibes and jabs that have been floating around President Bush since this blog was first published.
We would like to think that with incompetence, bad luck and slow news days, comes satire, bad jokes, and funny videos, and so, whomever becomes the next President of these United States in January, (or February, September. whatever of 2009), the clock will be ticking until the first really bad post-election jokes start to hit.
Of course, some Presidents of the United States of America have been easier to make fun of after awhile in office than others.
(Tricky Dicky Nicky, NIM+, I've fallen, oops, oops, Billy beer, killer rabbit, Bedtime for Bonzo, blue dress, cigar, killer pretzels, pronunciation, "See George, See George Read, See Buildings Fall, See George Read After Buildings Fall, Why George?, Why George, Why?, This is Iraq. This is Afghanistan. These are WMD's. This is Osama. See George look for WMD's instead of Osama. Why George, Why?)
Come to think of it, except for Bush senior, they've all been pretty easy to make fun of. Even taciturn President Calvin Coolidge and he he didn't say anything.
My favorite famous and I think true Calvin Coolidge joke was:
Lady: I have a bet with my friend that I can get you to say more than three words.
Coolidge: You lose.
+ Hoping to boost consumer confidence in a post-oil OPEC huge inflationary price increase period President Gerald Ford started a publicity campaign around millions of small red and white WIN buttons standing for Whip Inflation Now. Unfortunately, almost immediately cynics began turning the buttons upside down chanting NIM! NIM! NIM! No Immediate Miracles.
So, The Peter Files Blog of Comedy is not endorsing a person this year.
In fact, barring mental lapses or late discoveries of genocidal tendencies of Presidential Candidates in the General Election we intend to do our best to stay out of the actual endorsement process of an individual. That is not the same thing as even coverage. We are a comedy and commentary blog and write about whatever we want to. Period.
However, the discussion of this or that issue in re a specific candidate may come up from time to time if it seems illuminating, or funny, or both.
What we are doing is sincerely encouraging everyone to vote, regardless of political preference, except pseudo-Nazi's, racists, terrorists of every kind, and haters in general, sorry, hate is just antithetical to the underlying idea of a comedy blog, even we draw the line there.
You'd think I wouldn't have to say that, but last night Art Jones, one of the Republican Candidates for the 3rd Congressional District Race in Illinois against Democratic Dan Lipinski, no relation to Tara Lipinski, admitted last night on PBS TV's WTTW-Chicago's Chicago Tonight, that he had a past as a neo-nazi in the 70's and that he was a strong supporter of "White Power". See his website for details. Yuch. Better yet, don't.
This shows the importance of knowing who you are voting for. Imagine going into the polls as a Republican, seeing two names on the ballot, Arthur Jones and Michael Hawkins. Not knowing which of the two to vote for, which would you pick?
We also wish to strongly encourage you to help those who wish to vote, to vote early in areas where early or advance voting is possible, such as or like in Cook County Illinois.
Peter voted today, boy was that cool. No line. The Illinois Elections are next Tuesday, Thursday is the last day for pre-voting in Illinois.
And if you are registered to vote, and don't because you are too darn lazy? Then you gentle reader, should ask yourself: "What's wrong with me anyway?"
Note: Those with serious medical conditions, like depression, anxiety disorders, and other serious medical problems should never consider themselves lazy. But you may be able to get more help from local election officials than you realize in getting assistance in voting via an absentee ballot. Really. But see if you can't get yourself to the polls or get an absentee ballot, you'll be glad you did, even if you "cancel out" the vote of that irritating jerk across the hall.
Thank you for considering our recommendation for this election year. On behalf of the Peter Files Blog of Comedy... I remain,
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