Ashley and the Girls Cancer Relay Donations Up 50% Since April 25th!

On April 25th, 2005 the Peter Files covered the Efforts of young Ashley Thorpe and her Friends to raise money for cancer research in honor of their girlfriend Ryan Vieu in Ashley and the Girls Love Ryan and You Can Get in on the Action Too!


With the Relay for Life set for June 17th, 2005, Ashley has reached 75% of her $400 goal to raise money in honor of her friend Ryan Vieu who died of Cancer in 2002.


Please help Ashley and her friends help make Ryan's death more meaningful by contributing to cancer research through her page at the Amercican Cancer Society Relay for Life Page.

Since The Peter Files first post about Ashley's site went up, perhaps coincidentally, contributions to Ashley's site have gone up 50%. With 90 days to go, and the generosity of The Peter Files blog readers, it would be really nice if we could help Ashley go well beyond her goal.



How about it? Donations are welcome from all over the world. Cancer research benefits everyone worldwide. Donations may be small, very small to be effective. Please show Ashley and her team that you care.


In this world of war and terrorism, here are some girls doing something peaceful and proactive for the betterment of us all. If you dislike other directions the U.S. has taken in the past few years, surely this is one, which could offend no one. For it not only raises money for cancer research, but celebrates the lives of those who have survived.


If you know someone who has survived cancer, go ahead, make their day. Tell them that you appreciate that they are around in this special way, by donating in their name. If they did not survive their bout with cancer, this is your chance to remember them and potentially help someone avoid the same feelings of loss you have and have had.


Go ahead, Make Ashley's Day!



Click Here to Reach Ashley's Page for the American Cancer Society Relay For Life of Elmhurst, Lombard, Villa Park - June 17, 2005



Peter, The Peter Files

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Green Valley Moments Reviews The Peter Files!

The Peter Files Reviewed by Another Blog!

Stop the Presses! For the first time ever, a Peter Files File has been reviewed by another blog, Green Valley Moments.

"Funny, funny stuff"

"This reads like a cross between Ron Popeil (…but wait! …there’s more!) and Bob Newhart (”Well, you see Ms. Westen, when you posted those pictures from the beach party on your blog, you weren’t just storing them on your own computer.)

Are you tired of being in the same old rut?

Would you like to make money the fast and easy way?

Does the idea of sitting at home typing a few hours a day at your keyboard, listening to music, watching videos, tossing down brewskis and watching ESPN while the money rolls in, appeal to you?

Then you my friend, may have just the skills needed to enter the:

International World of Internet Blog Repair!

The Peter Files: You Too Can Enter The World Of Internet Blog Repair

So thanks to Green Valley Moments for this blog's first known public review, a blog about life in the slow lane in Green Valley Arizona, and a blog of High Taste and Quality if ever I have seen one!

One reason worth visiting Green Valley Moments, by the way, besides the interesting posts, are the links to other blogs in his sidebar.

That's it for this file, your blushing correspondent,


Peter

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Ashley and the Girls Love Ryan and You Can Get in on the Action Too!

My friend Joe, who I've known for more than 20 years, and who is a really great guy, has a friend named Carole, who has a daughter named Ashley.

In 2002, one of Ashley's friends, a girl named Ryan died of lymphoma. Rather than sit around and do nothing about it, Ashley and some of Ryan's other friends formed a team and decided to get involved in fundraising for cancer research in honor of their friend Ryan.

Ashley has set up a website as part of her part to raise funds for the American Cancer Society Relay for Life of Elmhurst, Lombard and Villa Park Illinois.

So if you do nothing else worthwhile today, please encourage Ashley by visiting her site and reading about her friend and her efforts. Just check it out.

I assure you that these are real people, and not some made up internet hoax. I know Joe personally, and he does not bother to make up things like this, he is far too busy.

By the way, Ashley's goal is really modest. She is trying to raise $400 for cancer research. I get about 60 hits a day. If each of my visitors gave a buck, Ashley would hit her goal pretty soon. Really, what's a buck? You can't even get a latte at Starbuck for that. Of course, if you are going to bother to drag out the old credit card, how about a little more for a tax deductible cause and the joy you could bring to some young girls hearts?

Besides, the benefits that you enable from cancer research, may come back to help you. Ever smoke or live with someone who did? Tick, tick, tick. Let's keep Peter Jennings in our prayers, shall we? Lung cancer is a tough thing to beat, but he has a better chance now after decades of cancer research than he would have 40 years ago.

Got compassion? A flicker of human heart? Click on the link below to go to Ashley's website right now:

Ashley's Relay For Life Page Hosted by the American Cancer Society :

"The Donation page of Ashley Thorpe"

Thank you for your involvement!

My Fundraising Goal: $400.00
Money Raised as of April 25, 2005: $195.00









Forever loving our friend Ryan Vieu!

In 2002, I lost a best friend to cancer - her name was Ryan Vieu. And for the past three years my friends and I have been participating in Relay For Life, to remember her and to celebrate those who have survived cancer. Please, make a donation to my team (Ryan's Roundup) and to this amazing cause. Thank you very much.


ONE DAY ONE NIGHT ONE FIGHT


Note that the thermometer may update as contributions come in to Ashley, but the figures probably won't. It would be really nice if we could pop the top off that thing, now wouldn't it?

That's it for this file,


Peter

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JibJab.com is back with a Passover Video Animated Rap Special - Matzah!

Since the Peter Files' last look at JibJab.com's web site they have done a lot of work and now a lot more of their older work is accessible to fans, in part due to the added banner ads and in part due to the paid download options for high quality copies of their movies and .mp3 files.

The site also has a number of e-cards that you can send, a library of animations that had been formerly unavailable, a newsletter and a blog; all much more fan oriented than before. What drew my attention was their newest submission, hot off the press.

Just in time for the celebration of the sacred Jewish observance of Passover JibJab.com has once again proved that there is nothing so sacred that they are not willing to make fun of it with their new animated rap video release Matzah - featuring Smooth-e Eric Schwartz.

Almost guaranteed to offend someone this Rap-style exposition will also probably cause breath taking laughter of familiarity amongst those who observe Passover, though the wailing done at the site referred to in the animation lately probably has nothing to do with religion. No, I'm not going to spoil it for you, just right click and watch it. I'll be right here waiting for you.

When it was able to get itself off the floor from laughing, the crackpot staff of The Peter Files did some investigating for you. Because I could not get to sleep again, I organized a directory of sorts of material spread over several pages that I thought you might enjoy. I've split it into sections and have ommitted some material that might be considered unsuitible for younger or more sensitive cousins, er readers.

I should note that this is my general policy, to be safe for work, safe for home, and to let you know if I am linking you to something that is in itself questionable. JibJib is safe but does fall into some juvenile humor. And some that does involve injury to cartoon figures. Including cartoon Santas. So don't go to anything marked Santa if there are kids in the room!

Hint: I found that once I was on the site, I could try to put any number in before the .html that was under, say 164, and many times something would come up that was not in the directory. You may want to try this for extra fun. Warning: WHO KNOWS what will come up? Hide the kids, shield the neighbors, you have been warned. Best hit the potty first too in case it is too funny for you to control yourself. I know, you THINK I'm kidding.

Here is the listing of things I found before I said, "Hey, my readers are smart, they can enter random numbers just as easily as I can":

Political Stuff


Good to Be in DC!


This Land - Starring Bush & Kerry



The Second Term



Bush On Education



Bush 1st White House Move-in Victory Dance



Bush vs Gore



Gore Campain Speech on Special Interests




Funny Foreign Names


Cooking With Clinton



Ahnuld for Governor




Click the figures in these next ones and see what happens:



Cowbow Hip-hop - You Make Him Groove Thang



DJ Fred and MC Ginger



Punk: Perfectly Clear: Peace, Love and Anarchy



Founding Fathers Rap



Geezers: The Musical



Dunk Bush



Dunk Gore



Dick Johnson Quiz Show


Other Comedy


Oscar Night


The Musical


Grumpy Santa


Nasty Santa: Home Video



That's it for this folder in the Peter Files.


Ahll Be Bahk!




Peter

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Cracks in The Sidewalk - A Response to William Carlos Williams

Cracks in the Sidewalk


nothing depends
upon

cracks in the
sidewalk

jumped on by
masochists

with matricidal
tendencies.



Copyright 1977 by PJF, All rights reserved, Used By Permission

Author's Note: An entirely inappropriate response to nearly and hour of gushing lecture time spent on The Red Wheel Barrow by William Carlos Willams. A poem of grace, beauty and compact simplicity, but hard to endure on a 90 degree day in an American Lit Survey Course with 800 pages, 300 poems and less than 3 weeks to go before the final. Published in several places it is part of the unpublished Broken Wheelbarrow Anthology that I hope may someday come to press. I thank The Peter Files for this exposure. Comments and encouragement welcome.

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Update: Fellow Bloggers: Do Your Friends Without Blogs Ever Bug You Because You Have Not Added Anything to Your Blog Lately?

And I quote the entire text from a recent email from one of my oldest friends:

"Hey, there is nothing new on the Blog since FRIDAY!!!"


This by the way, was incorrect. He had missed a number of posts done over the weekend.

Granted this is from one of my oldest friends. Granted there is some tounge in cheek to his letter. It still begs the question:

Do any of the other bloggers out there get this kind of treatment from your friends? And what do you do about it?

Please share your stories with the Peter files.

AS OF 10 PM 4 DAYS LATER SAID FRIEND HAS STILL NOT CHECKED THIS BLOG FOR NEW POSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now we all know the frequency.



Peter

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Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger of Germany Elected 256th Pope, Pope Benedict XVI, After IV or V Ballots

At 6:04 Pm white smoke appeared from the Sistene Chapel. Soon the world would know that the 256th Pope would be George Cardinal Ratzinger who took the name Pope Benedict the XVI, the first German speaking Pope in 948 years.

A close friend of Pope John Paul II, Benedict XVI is not likely to be less conservative, but is also considered to be brilliant and a scholar, and at age 78, a good transitional Pope, because it would be difficult for any pontiff to match up to the record of Pope John Paul II and his legacy.

The Vatican Website includes information on the Holy Father, including a Biography of Pope Benedict the XVI.



The Text of the Pope's First Traditional Blessing, The Urbi et Orbi, or "For the City (Rome, as most know, the Pope is the Bishop of Rome) and For the World" follows below.

*

Urbi et Orbi Blessing

Dear brothers and sisters,

after our great Pope, John Paul II, the Cardinals have elected me, a simple, humble worker in God's vineyard.

I am consoled by the fact that the Lord knows how to work and how to act, even with insufficient tools, and I especially trust in your prayers.

In the joy of the resurrected Lord, trustful of his permanent help, we go ahead, sure that God will help. And Mary, his most beloved Mother, stands on our side. Thank you.


*

Details of his ring and staff or crozier will follow.Upon election thinks move quickly, the Vatican website already shows the Papal seal.


For more Information try this Google News Search which should bring up everything you would want to know and more.



Peace,



Peter

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Does that Drive-Through Morning Coffee Add To Gridlock and More Pollution?

What's all the fuss about a cup of coffee? Does it really make a difference if you have one in the car or on the road? According to an article in the April 17th, Washingon Post, Pursuit of a Grande Latte May Be Stirring Up Gridlock (washingtonpost.com) the combined effect of all those morning coffee and/or breakfast sandwich stops that have been added by commuters drving in over the last decade may have been a factor in the increase in highway and road congestion we've experienced.

In a way, this is sadly funny, because many people stop for that morning jolt of Java just to make that drive in less stressful. How ironic that the net effect of all those coffee stops may be to lengthen the commute and make the trip even more stressful.

The solution is simple. Make that coffee at home. But is it the same? Does it have the same allure as sitting in a drive-through line and paying too much for that overpriced cup? Do you feel as special? As pampered? And does that feeling of being pampered and special get wiped out by the stress of your commute? And what about the stress and mess of making the coffee in the first place? And to set it up on the timer the night before, well, that takes, planning, and, wellm thought!

Of course, in some cities, you can go even farther, make that cup of coffee at home, put it in a travel mug and take the train or bus to work.

But let's not be radical like they are in Chicago where 1.5 million trips a day are taken on CTA alone. (Or they will continue to be, unless the Illinois state legislature wimps out on funding CTA and CTA is forced to cut 1/3rd of its bus routes this summer and the entire city has to drive to Springfield to show them what gridlock is really like. Really, it would be a nice weekend trip, bring a cooler and some sleeping bags, fill the streets around the capital for miles around and park. Non-violent protest is always the best way. But I digress.)

Let's forget that fact that by doing so, by not starting your car in the first place, you avoid a cold start which is a good portion of the pollution cost of your commute and that on a per mile basis, you are ten times less likely to die on transit than while driving.

Probably even more safe than if you are driving while drinking hot coffee. Add drinking coffee to talking on a cell phone and you are really pushing it. Sound familiar? If this sounds like you, time to rethink your priorities.

Oh, please, don't drink, talk, and drive. And for God's sake don't try to eat that sandwich at the same time without putting down the coffee. You think I haven't seen you from the Red line? Ha! You were weaving back and forth in your lane buddy. God I wished I had my camera that day! It would have made a nice little quicktime movie to go along with this post.

But I digress. I am known for that.

The fascinating thing is that these trends are large enough to be picked up in national travel statistics. Notably the 1995 and 2001 U.S. Dapartment of Transportation's National Household Travel Surveys, with sample sizes of 70,000 households each. These are not small samples. This kind of survey allows for really complex analysis.


To see some of it, read the Washington Post article until it expires in 14 days. Comments welcome.

That's it for this file, which I admit is a bit of a rant. Not a good day for me. Those who know me know what I mean. Today is an 8. Or -8 if you prefer.



Peter

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Two Free Albums You Can Download Today

Perhaps you have not loaded all your CD's onto your home computer, whether it be the blue screen of death free Mac or the virus-prone worm targeted PC, and enjoyed shuffle play songs by category, or, listened to one of your custom song play lists, or even a listened to a smart list made by iTunes itself based on your preferences.

Perhaps you haven't bought an mp3 compatible CD player and used iTunes to burn mp3 CD's that hold 8 hours of party music that you can bring to the beach, a friend's house, listen to on the train or during a conclave or wherever.

Perhaps you have not discovered that in completing your album collection, it is a heck of a lot cheaper to pay 99 cents a song for those few tunes you liked on those vinyl albums you loved that are now warped beyond recognition, than pay $12.99 at Coconuts, if you can find them.


Perhaps you have not discovered the joy of getting 3-4 free songs a week downloadable free at the Apple.com iTunes music store. Or being able to check out 30 second samples of any new song before you buy, longer for iBooks, and watch music videos of many of the latest hits to help you decide about them.


But if you have done all that already and are a happy iTunes user, you might want to know about the two free albums hidden in the U.S. iTunes store. Sorry, overseas Peter Files readers will probably not be able to access them.

They are meant for new iPod users, but apparently anyone can download them for free. You don't have to own an iPod, even though iPods are so cool that Microsoft can't keep its own employees from bringing them to work.

If you have the iTunes music player, that is. (You will notice from the sidebar that I do not yet have an iPod. This is not the same as wanting an iPod.)

The first free album is a pop album and is called the Atlantic Lava Album and includes 16 songs:


Title and Registration 3:39 Death Cab for Cutie
Welcome to My Life 3:23 Simple Plan
Drive Away 3:19 Gratitude
Gotta Get Up from Here 3:39 Ellie Lawson
Lost Control 2:53 Unwritten Law
What You Want 5:20 John Butler Trio
When I'm Gone (Sadie) 4:19 No Address
Funny Little Feeling 2:47 Rock 'n' Roll Soldiers
Yesterday Never Tomorrows 5:20 The Stills
Louis XIV 2:44 Louis XIV
Broken Promises 3:15 Moments In Grace
You'll Never Guess Who Died 3:29 The Kinison
Pressure 3:28 Skindred
On Your Porch 5:11 The Format
Everyday 3:48 Toby Lightman
Shallow 3:34 Porcupine Tree




The second free album is called the iTunes New Music Sampler (Motown Edition) and includes these 12 tracks:

Blow It Out 3:04 Features
All At Sea 4:35 Jamie Cullum
Sunshine to the Rain 4:13 Miri Ben-Ari
Lonely 3:57 Akon
Golden Touch 3:27 Razorlight
Bigtime 3:43 The Soundtrack of Our Lives
Laura 3:38 Scissor Sisters
She Said 3:46 Brie Larson
Jus Anotha Shorty 3:49 O'Ryan
Sleeping With the Lights On 3:42 Teitur
Reach Out, I'll Be There 3:43 Michael McDonald
TKO 3:19 Le Tigre

So, if the idea of having a million tracks available to choose from and a few free ones to boot, appeals to you, you might want to check out the iTunes Online Store.


Next week, a really quite objective review, though likely dazzling, of the exciting iPod photo, or, if not next week, as soon as Apple sends me one to review.


In fact, I am available to review any and all of Apple's products and Apple compatible software an accessories. I will have to retain them however, to make sure they hold up under long-term use. As you can see, from the closing below, I am eminently qualified. LOL.



Peter, Founder, International School of Blog Repair


Click to Laugh at, er join, The International School of Blog Repair

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CNN.com - Vatican on lookout for eavesdroppers - Apr 15, 2005

Just when you thought is was safe to go into the conclave......

CNN.com - Vatican on lookout for eavesdroppers - Apr 15, 2005:

Spies may be out to penetrate secret conclave of cardinals

By Chris Burns
CNN
Friday, April 15, 2005 Posted: 1:41 PM EDT (1741 GMT)


Workers install a chimney on the roof of the Sistine Chapel that will signal that a new pope has been chosen.

"VATICAN CITY (CNN) -- From bugs to lasers to cell phones, the Vatican is on guard for high-tech eavesdropping ahead of Monday's opening of the conclave to elect a new pope to lead the Roman Catholic Church.

Intensifying the speculation -- and perhaps the taste for espionage -- are the lack of a clear favorite, a media blackout imposed on cardinals by the Vatican, and the church's tight-lipped statements on the cardinals' meetings so far.

Trying to stay one step ahead of spying technology, Vatican observers say the church's security force is expected to repeatedly sweep the Vatican grounds for bugs and other gadgets before and during the secret meeting of the College of Cardinals."


Follow the link for the rest of the story.



Peter

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Chicago Area Auditions For Dinner Theatre "The Soprano's Last Supper" April 27th

AUDITION NOTICE


DILLSTAR PRODUCTIONS, a national producer of live, interactive dinner-theatre presentations, is looking for actors and actresses to join the ensemble of "THE SOPRANO'S LAST SUPPER" as understudies and potential replacements. This is an open-ended run, with performances at Mama Luigi's in Bridgeview and Prairie Rock Brewing Company in Schaumburg. Seeking "Wise Guy" and "Mob Girl" types. Also looking for male singers in the style of Bobby Darin and female cabaret-style singers.

All roles are paid.



Auditions will be held at Mama Luigi's in Bridgeview on Wednesday, April 27th at 7:00pm and will include cold readings. Picture and resume appreciated, but not required. For more info, please call Rich Bucchi at (708) 373-1927; to make an appointment, please call 1-800-944-5639 or visit:

www.dillstarproductions.com

Break a leg!

Peter, The Peter Files

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You Too Can Enter The World Of Internet Blog Repair

Are you tired of being in the same old rut?

Would you like to make money the fast and easy way?

Does the idea of sitting at home typing a few hours a day at your keyboard, listening to music, watching videos, tossing down the brewskis and watching ESPN while the money rolls in, appeal to you?

Then you my friend, may have just the skills needed to enter the:

International World of Internet Blog Repair!

Think of it. Just a few years ago, no one had a home computer. Now, it seems that everyone in the world has one, and in the past year, web logging or blogging has taken off like a skyrocket!

People all over the world are committing their precious thoughts and memories to their blogs, investing hundreds of hours of their life in writing personal and private thoughts for all the world to see - trusting in this wonderful but complicated technology to keep it safe for them.

BUT WHAT IF SOMETHING GOES HORRIBLY WRONG!!!!

That's where you come in to save the day!

As a Certified International Blog Repair Technician!

From the comfort of your home, your apartment, a restaurant, your car, from any hot spot or modem where you can get a connection, you can be up and doing business with the simple skills we can teach you at the International School of Internet Blog Repair.

"I was sad and lonely, living the simple life in a van, down by the river, but I took out a student loan, got certified by the International School of Internet Blog Repair, and now I have wealth beyond my wildest dreams, thank you, thank you, thank you." - Roma Marriotti

For one simple investment and a small, small, small perpetual percentage of your gross, we will lead you to untold riches in the fastest growing field in internet history!

Here's the secret:

All those people. All those blogs. All those folk who don't have clue one how blogs REALLY WORK - But YOU will! And that my friend will give you the tools to rake in the $dough$ re mi!

"I had just lost my job as a White House intern after a terrible mistake in judgment, I was hounded by the press, ashamed to go outside, what could I do to make a living? My life was over! But then I heard about the International School of Internet Blog Repair, and now I have a career where I can work from home and nobody cares where my dresses are or what cleaners I use. Thank you, thank you, thank you! And the money is great too!" - T. Woman

Yes, the very same people who spent the last 10 years with endlessly blinking clocks on their VCR's are now using the most complicated technology in the history of humanity to save their most precious moments on the most etheral of all technologies, an internet weblog.

Their blogs will break, they almost have to, and here at The International School of Internet Blog Repair we will teach you the basics to fix them quickly, easily and for BIG, BIG, PROFITS.

"I had dreams, oh yes, I had dreams. but then I got gored by what people thought was my boring style and my claims of having invented the internet. Then I settled down to teaching and spending time smooching with my wife, and was quite happy, you might call it a true love story, but the fact is, when I heard about the International School of Internet Blog Repair, I was curious. So I got involved because I liked being in on the ground floor of a new technology. It's just a way cool thing to be doing. Now that I've gotten into it, I think that there's a way that it could spring of into a nanotechnology group of applications too, if you see what I'm saying, I think I could invent a whole new fields here......" - Nota Bore

This is a TIME BOMB OF OPPORTUNITY JUST WAITING TO GO OFF!

Will you be in for the payoff?

No travel required. No Long Hours. No Office. No Suits. No Employee meetings!

But: your will meet people - if you want to! Oh, yes the fringes on this job are mui bueno if you know what I mean. :nudge: :nudge: :wink: :wink: :say no MORE!:

Here's what we will teach you:

Part 1 - The Basics of Blog Repair

How to look at the source code of their blog and fix most problems in less than two minutes, but tell them about it an hour later.

IN NEARLY EVERY CASE the problem is something like a missing ">" sign that they erased in the underlying html code while not not knowing it was there in the first place.

You will work on all the major systems Mac OS X, OS IX, OS VIII ... Blastoff! Unix, Linux, Web T.V., iPod, Cell-phones, video game players, and if time permits, Lisa, Apple, Commodore 64, TRS-80, CMS, MVS, DOS, and possibly even Windows systems if any interest is still out there.

More important of course are all the major browsers used today, Firefox, Safari, Mozilla, Netscape, Visual Basic 6.o and Internet Explorer.

The basic blogger engine types are also covered as well as the code that supports them HTML, CSS, JAVA, Cocoa, Tea, Expresso, Soda, and Jack Daniels. It would be a rum job if we didn't cover it all.

Part 2 - Jazzing up Their Template/Making Their Template Pretty

How to Earn Extra Bucks through Customizing a Customer's blog or post so that their blog looks a little more special than their friend's. If you work this right, contacting their friends listed on their sidebar and offering your services, you can keep this going for months, if not years simply by running two different blogging consultant identities! Mucho Dineros!

Part 3 - Emergency Design Services

Hold on Huston! This is where the BIG dollars are.

"Suzi's graduation is tomorrow and I've just got to get this pretty party page up on time! Help me please - can you get it done on time?"

Part 4 - Tactful Consolation and Damage Control

Sometimes your clients will get themselves into embarrassing situations and it will be up to you to get them out of it. Here's an example.

"Well, you see Ms. Westen, when you posted those pictures from the beach party on your blog, you weren't just storing them on your own computer. No. You see there's this thing called the Internet? The World Wide Web?

That's right Ms. Westen, the whole world, the whole wide world. No, I don't think the whole world saw the pictures you took of you and Mr. Trumpet fooling around. Fortunately for you there is a lot of competition for that kind of stuff, but the thing is, I took the photos down, but you really don't know who copied it, or where it might show up again.

Yes. Someone could copy any of the photos and put them up somewhere else. Yes. Even the really, really naughty ones. No, actually by the standards of the internet yours are quite tame, really. Um, how long were the photos up? That long eh.

Well, I think you've got to assume that you are going to be pretty well known within a couple of months Ms. Westen. At least you did not have any live video files. Heh, heh, heh. Oh, those were on Mr. Trumpet's blog but you made him take them down, oooh, that's, that's not so good.

Well, videos can be downloaded too. I see, well take it from me, even if he tried to make it impossible, there are people, we call them hackers, who specialize in downloading things, no, they don't have a cough, they just get in where they shouldn't, like with a hack saw, yes, who specialize in this sort of thing and that video is probably making the rounds too.

How long was it? No, how long was the video up there Ms. Westen. That long? Well if you let me see it I could probably tell you how much distribution its likely to get... not a chance in hell, yes, I totally understand, and I respect your privacy.

The upside is that with an hour long video it will probably be limited to commercial sites where people have to pay to see it, so fewer people will probably see it. I knew you'd feel better about that! Yes. Ah, um. The downside is of course, that at an hour the video is long enough to release and sell as a DVD.

Well they should, but once these things get out they generally don't give the victims any money. No, it is awfully unfair, Ms. Westin, though you can sue them, if you can find them. My guess would be Singapore, or China, or maybe Russia. Or New Jersey. Yes. Let's hope for New Jersey.

Other problems, let's see, you did put your name and address in your blog so you might want to consider changing both, or at least moving. I'm sorry, I don't mean to upset you but you are really sort of a celebrity now.

Really, there's no need to cry Ms. Westen. Really, please don't cry, everything will be all right. Look on the bright side Ms. Westen, the pictures are really most attractive. Really.

No, no, I didn't stare at them, but to take them down I had to look at them a little, please don't cry Ms. Westen. Please. It makes me most upset to hear a pretty girl like you cry when there is nothing that I can do about it. There is? Gee, you sound really upset about this. I could help? I'd like to. Would you like to come over and talk about this over a drink? Maybe we could work on that whole name problem of yours. Yes, see you at 7. Ms. Wes.. Carol. That's a nice name. My name is Bob. See you at 7."

Now of course this is nearly a worst case scenario. Mr. Trumpet could have been her boss and pulled her into his office to say the dreaded words "You're Fired!" in the middle of the call, but I wanted to keep this example simple.

Part 5 - Selling Blog Repair Internships

Of course, the last big step you can take is to train other Certified International Internet Blog Repair Technicians. Once you have passed the training course you can recruit and train other Certified International Internet Blog Repair Technicians. At first you get a larger part of their fees, but as they recruit more students, your share goes down, but you will always get a small portion of their gross. Now there is a limit to how many Certified International Internet Blog Repair Technicians there can be, we will accept only the best.

We have to say that, this is not some fly-by-night pyramid scheme only interested in your initiation fee. So, don't count on recruiting new International Internet Blog Repair Technicians as your primary source of income like some of these multi-level marketing schemes, but the pennies do add up if your trainees learn the business right and keep their customers, and keep them happy. That's just plain old good service and business sense.

"I lost a really good friend a few years ago and was really depressed, yeah, I got work, good work, but it just wasn't the same, I found myself spending more and more time floating around on my pad, blowing off Piggy, that's my girlfriend, and let me tell you, she get's really angry when she's ignored.

I know it's not easy being green, but for a frog like me, well let's just say I had a really close, personal. relationship with this friend, I had never let anyone get inside me quite like Jim did, and when he was gone, well, it was like I was a different frog. He was more than just a boss. He was a mentor. I always felt lucky watching other people at their jobs, slaving away, in law firms, or accounting offices with other people pulling the strings, heck, they might as well have been puppets. But working with Jim was never like that and with him gone, I felt a little different, sounded a little different, it just wasn't quite the same inside, but I had to keep going you know? All those kids, my fans, I just could not let them down, no matter how low I felt.

Then I found the International School of Internet Blog Repair, and now I have a little something to do to distract me when I'm not feeling quite right. It feels nice to help people and while I can't do it full time, I still get something good from it. My friend The Count helps out too. He really loves it. He's a natural. He finds it very exciting, even more than me. He breaks the HTML into one's and zero's and fixes blog's that way - frankly I think its a little wierd, but he's better at it than I am! I wish he could work more quietly though sometimes.

Had to cut my friend Ernie's access off though. He was having too much fun making Bert's blog do silly things. One night Bert left his Mac on with his Blog open and suddenly around two in the morning a giant rubber duck appeared on the screen quacking you know what song so loud it blasted Bert out of bed so hard he almost went out the window! Ha! Have to admit that was a pretty good one, but when I saw Ernie hanging out the window by his feet I said, "Wacko Jacko, this has gone too far!", got Bert not to drop Ernie if I agreed not to let him on my G5." - K.T.F.

So if you think you have what it takes to be a Certified International Internet Blog Repair Technician, apply via e-post today for details! Don't wait! There's a lot to offer in your initial training kit, so much to offer that we can't list it all just remember:

You get all this and MUCH MUCH MORE!

Your Official Certified International Internet Blog Repair Technician Student ID Card
(Good for student discounts everywhere)

Your Official Certified International Internet Blog Repair Technician Graduation Requirements

Your Official Certified International Internet Blog Repair Technician Student Aid Kit
(Please fill this out to qualify for financial aid call our toll-free number for assistance)

Your Official Certified International Internet Blog Repair Technician Student Online Access Pass
(Gives you access to your classes - learn at your own pace - take the tests until you pass)

Your Official Certified International Internet Blog Repair Technician Student Website Discount Card
(Gives you access to our website and a host of others as a free bonus - just for being our student)

Your Official Certified International Internet Blog Repair Technician Secret Decoder Ring
(Available in all sizes - comes with a firewire connection cord )

Your Official Certified International Internet Blog Repair Technician Student Photo Directory
(Every Campus has a Social Life - Why Should Ours Be Any Different)

Don't Delay! Make Your Application Today!

Significant Tuition Discounts Apply to Those Who Refer Accepted Candidates for Admission

An Affilliate of The Interational School of Spam Archaeologists and the
International School for Internet Humor Application Management Systems


That's it for this case in,

The Peter Files http://www.thepeterfiles.blogspot.com

Fine Print (This is a joke. It is only a joke. If anyone does start such a school however I claim a share of intellectual property rights and a small share of the gross. This post is partly inspired by the work of Bob Newhart and his classic Bus Driver School Sketch and his great telephone routines. Bob, please don't be annoyed if sections of this post are too close to your material. I was churned through the same (1076) character building mill that you were and probably spent as much or more time in jug.)

Copyright 2005 by PJF, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR MISUSE OF THIS COMEDY MATERIAL.

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El Dorado Kansas. . . . . A City With Unlimited Potential!!!

This has got to be the most wild blog I have seen in a long time. I will not try to waste your time describing it.

For best effect, right-click on the link below and scroll down as far as you can and start reading upwards to see the blow by blow by sucker punch blow of the recent election in El Dorado Kansas. What a story it is!

El Dorado Kansas. . . . . A City With Unlimited Potential!!!

Perhaps this is my first x-file,

Peter

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Spring Hill College From Above

Like a torch upon a hillside overlooking Mobile, Alabama, Spring Hill College (1830) is about as far into the Deep South as you get. Packing a solid Jesuit education into a rich historical environment makes learning all the more an exciting experience. The proximity to Gulf Shores, Pensacola Beaches and New Orleans nonwithstanding. Though personally, I found Mardi Gras in Mobile to be more laid back, safer and more fun.

This image of Spring Hill from above is again courtesy of Google's new satellite map image service. If you right click the link to open it up in a new window you can read this text while looking at the image.

The graphic map below provides some colorful perspective, but is reversed in orientation compared to the satellite map. For details on each building check the map legend.



In the satellite image, Old Shell Road, so named because in the era before asphalt it was indeed an old shell road, runs from east to west, and two college lanes run south and south-east. The south running road is marked by two thick stands of oak trees, in fact, the road itself is impossible to see, this is the colleges historic Avenue of the Oaks which terminates at Stewartfield, a small southern mansion with its own ballroom at the end of the first floor corridor. The ballroom was built on springs and sways when full of people dancing.

In that room, the President's Office of the college, or at least it was, is a framed letter from the Holy Cross Fathers asking if the Jesuits of Spring Hill could come up and take over their school in South Bend, Indiana which was weathering hard times. The Jesuits declined. But this letter, which I have seen with my own eyes, is the historical root of the "Notre Dame, the Spring Hill of the North" sweatshirts I have seen from time to time.

If you follow the other street down you pass most of the dorms and come near St. Joseph's Chapel, a beautiful and historic church. To the east is a line of azaleas of staggering beauty, which mark Spring Hill's place on Mobile's Historic Azalea Trail which makes each spring a heady delight.


Of course, such things are more easily seen from photos, and this Campus Tour shows off a lot of the better features of the school.

If you would like a view of the more historic structures, especially St. Joseph's Chapel, try this 360 Degree Spring Hill Campus Tour which starts there.

If you zoom in to maximum zoom, some aspects of recreational life are immediately apparent. The central location of the tennis courts to some of the dorms and the student center. The golf course on the southwest side of the campus, it was $1 for 9 holes for a student in 1980, surely it has gone up. Yes, a pleasant place to go to school.

Part of the charm of the school was seeing certain campus staff moving around on golf carts, unusually ahead of their times from an environmental point of view.

The campus had a special beauty at night, when gas lit lights were illuminated by the fog rolling in from Mobile Bay. The hill providing a view of the lights of Mobile and the harbor below. I remember watching the fog roll up the hill, through the crags and crevices, defying gravity in thick rolling wonder, like children in a game of capture the flag, until being enveloped in a warm wet blanket of fog. Comforting, light, hiding, or not quite hiding things around me depending on its depth.

Don't let the pleasant atmosphere fool you though. A wonderful environment. Rich friendships. But be prepared to work. It is a Jesuit school. Ita. AMDG.

Here's a secret, straight from The Peter Files online applications to Spring Hill college are free.

My thoughts on this file,


Peter

With thanks to the college for images lifted freely from their website for the purposes of promoting my alma mater.

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The Coldest Bus Stop In All Of Chicago - Seen From Above

I know, with winter over and spring warming just thinking about winter and bus stops together is not your first choice, even with these new, more protected lighted bus stops that the City of Chicago worked out for CTA.

Still, as I was looking at Google Satellite Map images of Chicago, I realized that I ought to share the single coldest bus stop in Chicago with you.

I know it takes a lot of hubris to claim that, but trust me, this one has a lot going for it.

The intersection of Clark Street and Roosevelt Road is on a bridge elevated in the sky with absolutely nothing protecting it from the winds of Lake Michigan.

Worse yet, there is emptiness below it, and emptiness west beyond it as the bridge rises up to climb over the rail yards that go into LaSalle Street Station.

With the new townhouse developments that have crept up to it, but are still underneath the stop, it may be a touch warmer than in 1973 - 1977 when I waited for the #12 on that Godforsaken corner of doom, but still, the wind blows hard towards or away from the lake in stinging blasts. Can't tell from the photo if there is one of those new bus stops there, because the photos may pre-date the new shelters. Even so, without heat they won't do much good for the poor souls transferring from the Clark Street bus going to UIC or St. Ignatius to the west.

You might wonder, why stand out there in the miserable cold with no buildings to be found?

Taking the two block walk east to shelter meant risking missing a bus.

That meant risking being late.

That meant Jug, a detention devoutly to be missed, aye, there's the rub of ye olde mittens, the frost on the old scarf, as the bookbag weighs heavily on yon shoulders and the cold, oh the cold and no bathrooms in sight.

THIS! This is what drives white kids who know better to hitch a ride in high crime neighborhoods. The fact that they survive such rides says a lot of good things about humanity and makes one question the validity of stereotypes.

Now, back to thoughts about the warming weather of the coming spring.

Peter

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Seen From Above - U of C

Well, I did another post on that google overhead sightseeing blog. Just in case they don't use it I am going to list it most of the relevant information here and add some personal details.

As you might guess, some of this information come from actually walking around and being there.

Since the blog I posted this at was all about the aerial photos I didn't mention the joys of eating at Medici on 57th Street. The Annual 57th Street Children's Book Fairs or Arts Fairs. The great music at the 10:00 mass at St. Thomas, or eating at Mellow Yellow on 53rd Street. But you can't see those things from the sky, now can you?

Nor can you see all the good times you had with friends who now live far away and you wish would write more, as if you did, of course, that is one of the reasons for this blog. Hope this brings back some happy memories.

Especially for Paul and Virg who just had a little girl, Jane Marie! Congrats!

The Court Theater and The University of Chicago Campus.

University of Chicago Seen From Above

If we use the Midway, the grassy line on the bottom as a reference, the main quadrangle of the U of C is the copper topped square of buildings with a bisected circle in the middle in the center of the photo.

The Midway itself, gets its name from the strip's role as the Carnival Midway during the Columbian Exposition of 1869. The world's largest Ferris Wheel once stood here and thousands gathered to ride it.

The Fairgrounds extended all the way to Jackson Park and Lake Michigan to the East and the Museum of Science and Industry Buildings include statuary and perhaps building sections from the fair.

On the far west end of the Midway, just across Cottage Grove Avenue, you can see Sculptor Lorado Taft's Fountain of Time which marks the West end of the Midway. The East End is theoretically marked by the Illinois Central tracks and the 59th Street station, but in fact, if you follow the street it will take you through the park to the Museum of Science and Industry (see previous link).

Just North of the Quad through the gargoyled Quad gate onto 57th street that you can only see from ground level is a massive grey building which is the Regenstein Library known as "The Reg" (Rayg). Inside are wonders to make a researchers heart throb, but you better be one to have a hope of getting in past the main desk.

Underneath the quad, linking all of the buildings, are in fact a series of heating tunnels that link all of the underground labs in the quad. Essentially, you can move from one lab to another without going above ground, not a bad thing at 3 am in the morning in Hyde Park, even if the U of C does have the World's largest Private Police force and a sharp one at that.

World Famous Court Theatre is just right of the marking on Ellis Avenue. To the left of it is the New Stagg Field. A much airier and open place than the original Stagg field under which the world's first self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction occurred. A statue marking the spot, (Photo and Map to Nuclear Energy Sculpture) is on the west side of the Regenstein Library between 56th and 57th. From the sky Moore's sculpture appears as a black dot in white square just north of green tennis courts north of the Reg.

One block North of the Quad is Woodlawn Avenue, Stag Field and Court Theatre are on the South Side of Ellis. On the North East corner of Ellis and 55th is a long thin black building that hosts Jimmy's Woodlawn Tap. Hardly and architectural landmark except that in the comedy back room some comic greats got their start including Ed Asner, and Stiller & Meara.

Just East of Jimmy's is an architectural treasure designed by Frank Lloyd Wright's student Barry Byrne, St. Thomas the Apostle Church and Rectory, which are elegant both indoors and out. The Church faces east. The building that faces Woodlawn avenue to the west is the parish school.

The park east of St. Thomas is known locally as "Egg Park" because of the large marble egg statuary that makes its home there and sometimes goes missing.

If you move South a few blocks out of the scene you will see one more thing of interest. Where a CTA streetcar turnaround once stood, is a two building high rise condominium complex with underground parking designed by famed Japanese Architect Minoru Yamasaki, designed to take advantage of the street design where the street bends around the building in each direction.

I also did not mention my favorite chill out spot in the submission, Promontory Point where I used to love to go to sit in the sun, ride my bike, play our own version of field bocci, or just have a picnic. The point's configuration made cool breezes coming in off the lake a sure bet. Even commemorated a wedding there. My friends and I spent many happy times there.

That closes this file.


Peter

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Google Sightseeing

In a recent post about Google's new Keystone-based satellite photo server I mentioned that we now all have the capability to get limited visual details from above with our maps. Not surprisingly, people have been testing it like crazy to get the overlook on their favorite places, so naturally, now there is a blog about it: Google Sightseeing that is gradually accumulating images submitted by various contributors, grouping them by category, and then, the comments begin.

Some entries are just beautiful, others are of historic interest, others are "twisted" showing anomalies produced by the process of stitching together the satellite images.

As well as submitting the coordinates of the map area to view, submitters can add descriptive text, it is up to the owners of the blog to decide what gets in the blog and what remains, of course.

Here's an example of a submission I did. Perhaps it will be accepted.


Chicago's Navy Pier & The Chicago River

"Chicago's Navy Pier was just that. Rather than try to do an accurate history from those days to the modern entertainment complex it is today, I just mention that it is a fascinating read. Today the pier hosts an I-max theatre, a large Ferris wheel, the Chicago's Children's museum, a Shakespeare theatre, and countless other attractions including fireworks on weekend nights.

Just north of the pier is the Milton J. Olive Water Filtration Plant which cleans a couple of million gallons of water a day. Olive was a local Vietnam hero who saved his friends by jumping on a hand grenade to smother the blast.

Just south of the pier are the docks that control entry for boat traffic into and out of the Chicago River. They are also quietly one of the engineering wonders of the modern world because the locks were built to have reverse the course of the Chicago River to keep the City's water supply clean.

Visitors from Ireland are often startled to find that on the weekend of the St. Patrick's day parade that Chicagoans are crazy enough to dye their own river green (with environmentally safe dye.) "

Here's another Chicago image without the text since I forgot to save it after submitting it.

Chicago's Buckingham Fountain

Peter

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What Kind of Movie Hero Are You? Click This Title to Take The Quiz.

Quiz Results - Which Movie Hero Am I?

Try not to laugh too hard now:





We few, we lucky few, have answered the questions to
be remembered as William Wallace personality types,
even if the quiz is cheezy, and doth not test us in mortal
combat, so that generations will wish that they had been
with us to share the glory of this, this quiz day!


And here I thought I was Batman!

Peter

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Ouch!

Thought for the Day

Epidural Injections to the Cervical Spine are a Pain in the Neck!

At least when that's where you get them.

So if I have fewer posts in the next few days, you will understand why.

Doing a lot of sleeping right now.

My typing is not so hot either.

The Pope's Funeral Mass was beautiful.

Was able to catch a piece of the re-run before nodding off again.

Now the waiting begins.


Peter

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Who's in the U.N. Anyway? - List of Member States

For for some reason, I just got curious about U.N. Membership. So here's the list.


List of Member States: "Following is the list of the 191 Member States of the United Nations with dates on which they joined the Organization.

The following is the list of the 191 Member States of the United Nations with dates on which they joined the Organization.

Member -- (Date of Admission)

Afghanistan -- (19 Nov. 1946)
Albania -- (14 Dec. 1955)
Algeria -- (8 Oct. 1962)
Andorra -- (28 July 1993)
Angola -- (1 Dec. 1976)
Antigua and Barbuda -- (11 Nov. 1981)
Argentina -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Armenia -- (2 Mar. 1992)
Australia -- (1 Nov. 1945)
Austria-- (14 Dec. 1955)
Azerbaijan -- (2 Mar. 1992)
Bahamas -- (18 Sep. 1973)
Bahrain -- (21 Sep. 1971)
Bangladesh -- (17 Sep. 1974)
Barbados -- (9 Dec. 1966)
Belarus -- (24 Oct. 1945)
On 19 September 1991, Byelorussia informed the United Nations that it had changed its name to Belarus.

Belgium -- (27 Dec. 1945)
Belize -- (25 Sep. 1981)
Benin -- (20 Sep. 1960)
Bhutan -- (21 Sep. 1971)
Bolivia -- (14 Nov. 1945)
Bosnia and Herzegovina -- (22 May 1992)
The Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia was an original Member of the United Nations, the Charter having been signed on its behalf on 26 June 1945 and ratified 19 October 1945, until its dissolution following the establishment and subsequent admission as new members of Bosnia and Herzegovina, the Republic of Croatia, the Republic of Slovenia, The former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, and the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia.

The Republic of Bosnia and Herzegovina was admitted as a Member of the United Nations by General Assembly resolution A/RES/46/237 of 22 May 1992.

Botswana -- (17 Oct. 1966)
Brazil -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Brunei Darussalam -- (21 Sep. 1984)
Bulgaria -- (14 Dec. 1955)
Burkina Faso -- (20 Sep. 1960)
Burundi -- (18 Sep. 1962)
Cambodia -- (14 Dec. 1955)
Cameroon -- (20 Sep. 1960)
Canada -- (9 Nov. 1945)
Cape Verde -- (16 Sep. 1975)
Central African Republic -- (20 Sep. 1960)
Chad -- (20 Sep. 1960)
Chile -- (24 Oct. 1945)
China -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Colombia -- (5 Nov. 1945)
Comoros -- (12 Nov. 1975)
Congo (Republic of the) -- (20 Sep. 1960)
Costa Rica -- (2 Nov. 1945)
Côte d'Ivoire -- (20 Sep. 1960)
Croatia -- (22 May 1992)
The Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia was an original Member of the United Nations, the Charter having been signed on its behalf on 26 June 1945 and ratified 19 October 1945, until its dissolution following the establishment and subsequent admission as new members of Bosnia and Herzegovina, the Republic of Croatia, the Republic of Slovenia, The former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, and the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia.

The Republic of Croatia was admitted as a Member of the United Nations by General Assembly resolution A/RES/46/238 of 22 May 1992.

Cuba -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Cyprus -- (20 Sep. 1960)
Czech Republic -- (19 Jan. 1993)
Czechoslovakia was an original Member of the United Nations from 24 October 1945. In a letter dated 10 December 1992, its Permanent Representative informed the Secretary-General that the Czech and Slovak Federal Republic would cease to exist on 31 December 1992 and that the Czech Republic and the Slovak Republic, as successor States, would apply for membership in the United Nations. Following the receipt of its application, the Security Council, on 8 January 1993, recommended to the General Assembly that the Czech Republic be admitted to United Nations membership. The Czech Republic was thus admitted on 19 January of that year as a Member State.

Democratic People's Republic of Korea -- (17 Sep. 1991)
Democratic Republic of the Congo -- (20 Sep. 1960)
Zaire joined the United Nations on 20 September 1960. On 17 May 1997, its name was changed to the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

Denmark -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Djibouti -- (20 Sep. 1977)
Dominica -- (18 Dec. 1978)
Dominican Republic -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Ecuador -- (21 Dec. 1945)
Egypt -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Egypt and Syria were original Members of the United Nations from 24 October 1945. Following a plebiscite on 21 February 1958, the United Arab Republic was established by a union of Egypt and Syria and continued as a single Member. On 13 October 1961, Syria, having resumed its status as an independent State, resumed its separate membership in the United Nations. On 2 September 1971, the United Arab Republic changed its name to the Arab Republic of Egypt.

El Salvador -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Equatorial Guinea -- (12 Nov. 1968)
Eritrea -- (28 May 1993)
Estonia -- (17 Sep. 1991)
Ethiopia -- (13 Nov. 1945)
Fiji -- (13 Oct. 1970)
Finland -- (14 Dec. 1955)
France-- (24 Oct. 1945)
Gabon -- (20 Sep. 1960)
Gambia -- (21 Sep. 1965)
Georgia -- (31 July 1992)
Germany -- (18 Sep. 1973)
The Federal Republic of Germany and the German Democratic Republic were admitted to membership in the United Nations on 18 September 1973. Through the accession of the German Democratic Republic to the Federal Republic of Germany, effective from 3 October 1990, the two German States have united to form one sovereign State.

Ghana -- (8 Mar. 1957)
Greece -- (25 Oct. 1945)
Grenada -- (17 Sep. 1974)
Guatemala -- (21 Nov. 1945)
Guinea -- (12 Dec. 1958)
Guinea-Bissau -- (17 Sep. 1974)
Guyana -- (20 Sep. 1966)
Haiti -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Honduras -- (17 Dec. 1945)
Hungary -- (14 Dec. 1955)
Iceland -- (19 Nov. 1946)
India -- (30 Oct. 1945)
Indonesia -- (28 Sep. 1950)
By letter of 20 January 1965, Indonesia announced its decision to withdraw from the United Nations "at this stage and under the present circumstances". By telegram of 19 September 1966, it announced its decision "to resume full cooperation with the United Nations and to resume participation in its activities". On 28 September 1966, the General Assembly took note of this decision and the President invited representatives of Indonesia to take seats in the Assembly.

Iran (Islamic Republic of) -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Iraq -- (21 Dec. 1945)
Ireland -- (14 Dec. 1955)
Israel -- (11 May 1949)
Italy -- (14 Dec. 1955)
Jamaica -- (18 Sep. 1962)
Japan -- (18 Dec. 1956)
Jordan -- (14 Dec. 1955)
Kazakhstan -- (2 Mar. 1992)
Kenya -- (16 Dec. 1963)
Kiribati -- (14 Sept. 1999)
Kuwait -- (14 May 1963)
Kyrgyzstan -- (2 Mar. 1992)
Lao People's Democratic Republic -- (14 Dec. 1955)
Latvia -- (17 Sep. 1991)
Lebanon -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Lesotho -- (17 Oct. 1966)
Liberia -- (2 Nov. 1945)
Libyan Arab Jamahiriya -- (14 Dec. 1955)
Liechtenstein-- (18 Sep. 1990)
Lithuania -- (17 Sep. 1991)
Luxembourg-- (24 Oct. 1945)
Madagascar -- (20 Sep. 1960)
Malawi -- (1 Dec. 1964)
Malaysia-- (17 Sep. 1957)
The Federation of Malaya joined the United Nations on 17 September 1957. On 16 September 1963, its name was changed to Malaysia, following the admission to the new federation of Singapore, Sabah (North Borneo) and Sarawak. Singapore became an independent State on 9 August 1965 and a Member of the United Nations on 21 September 1965.

Maldives-- (21 Sep. 1965)
Mali -- (28 Sep. 1960)
Malta -- (1 Dec. 1964)
Marshall Islands -- (17 Sep. 1991)
Mauritania -- (27 Oct. 1961)
Mauritius -- (24 Apr. 1968)
Mexico -- (7 Nov. 1945)
Micronesia (Federated States of) -- (17 Sep. 1991)
Monaco -- (28 May 1993)
Mongolia -- (27 Oct. 1961)
Morocco -- (12 Nov. 1956)
Mozambique -- (16 Sep. 1975)
Myanmar -- (19 Apr. 1948)
Namibia -- (23 Apr. 1990)
Nauru -- (14 Sept. 1999)
Nepal -- (14 Dec. 1955)
Netherlands -- (10 Dec. 1945)
New Zealand -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Nicaragua -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Niger -- (20 Sep. 1960)
Nigeria -- (7 Oct. 1960)
Norway -- (27 Nov. 1945)
Oman -- (7 Oct. 1971)
Pakistan -- (30 Sep. 1947)
Palau -- (15 Dec. 1994)
Panama -- (13 Nov. 1945)
Papua New Guinea -- (10 Oct. 1975)
Paraguay -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Peru -- (31 Oct. 1945)
Philippines -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Poland -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Portugal -- (14 Dec. 1955)
Qatar -- (21 Sep. 1971)
Republic of Korea -- (17 Sep. 1991)
Republic of Moldova -- (2 Mar. 1992)
Romania -- (14 Dec. 1955)
Russian Federation -- (24 Oct. 1945)
The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was an original Member of the United Nations from 24 October 1945. In a letter dated 24 December 1991, Boris Yeltsin, the President of the Russian Federation, informed the Secretary-General that the membership of the Soviet Union in the Security Council and all other United Nations organs was being continued by the Russian Federation with the support of the 11 member countries of the Commonwealth of Independent States.

Rwanda -- (18 Sep. 1962)
Saint Kitts and Nevis -- (23 Sep. 1983)
Saint Lucia -- (18 Sep. 1979)
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines -- (16 Sep. 1980)
Samoa -- (15 Dec. 1976)
San Marino -- (2 Mar. 1992)
Sao Tome and Principe -- (16 Sep. 1975)
Saudi Arabia -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Senegal -- (28 Sep. 1960)
Serbia and Montenegro -- (1 Nov. 2000)
On 4 February 2003, following the adoption and promulgation of the Constitutional Charter of Serbia and Montenegro by the Assembly of the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia, the official name of “Federal Republic of Yugoslavia” was changed to Serbia and Montenegro.

The Socialist “Federal Republic of Yugoslavia was an original Member of the United Nations, the Charter having been signed on its behalf on 26 June 1945 and ratified 19 October 1945, until its dissolution following the establishment and subsequent admission as new Members of Bosnia and Herzegovina, the Republic of Croatia, the Republic of Slovenia, The former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, and the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia. The Federal Republic of Yugoslavia was admitted as a Member of the United Nations by General Assembly resolution A/RES/55/12 of 1 November 2000.

Seychelles -- (21 Sep. 1976)
Sierra Leone -- (27 Sep. 1961)
Singapore -- (21 Sep. 1965)
Slovakia -- (19 Jan. 1993)
Czechoslovakia was an original Member of the United Nations from 24 October 1945. In a letter dated 10 December 1992, its Permanent Representative informed the Secretary-General that the Czech and Slovak Federal Republic would cease to exist on 31 December 1992 and that the Czech Republic and the Slovak Republic, as successor States, would apply for membership in the United Nations. Following the receipt of its application, the Security Council, on 8 January 1993, recommended to the General Assembly that the Slovak Republic be admitted to United Nations membership. The Slovak Republic was thus admitted on 19 January of that year as a Member State.

Slovenia -- (22 May 1992)
The Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia was an original Member of the United Nations, the Charter having been signed on its behalf on 26 June 1945 and ratified 19 October 1945, until its dissolution following the establishment and subsequent admission as new members of Bosnia and Herzegovina, the Republic of Croatia, the Republic of Slovenia, The former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, and the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia.

The Republic of Slovenia was admitted as a Member of the United Nations by General Assembly resolution A/RES/46/236 of 22 May 1992.

Solomon Islands -- (19 Sep. 1978)
Somalia -- (20 Sep. 1960)
South Africa -- (7 Nov. 1945)
Spain -- (14 Dec. 1955)
Sri Lanka -- (14 Dec. 1955)
Sudan -- (12 Nov. 1956)
Suriname -- (4 Dec. 1975)
Swaziland -- (24 Sep. 1968)
Sweden -- (19 Nov. 1946)
Switzerland -- (10 Sep. 2002)
Syrian Arab Republic -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Egypt and Syria were original Members of the United Nations from 24 October 1945. Following a plebiscite on 21 February 1958, the United Arab Republic was established by a union of Egypt and Syria and continued as a single Member. On 13 October 1961, Syria, having resumed its status as an independent State, resumed its separate membership in the United Nations.

Tajikistan -- (2 Mar. 1992)
Thailand -- (16 Dec. 1946)
The former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia -- (8 Apr. 1993)
The Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia was an original Member of the United Nations, the Charter having been signed on its behalf on 26 June 1945 and ratified 19 October 1945, until its dissolution following the establishment and subsequent admission as new members of Bosnia and Herzegovina, the Republic of Croatia, the Republic of Slovenia, The former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, and the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia.

By resolution A/RES/47/225 of 8 April 1993, the General Assembly decided to admit as a Member of the United Nations the State being provisionally referred to for all purposes within the United Nations as "The former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia" pending settlement of the difference that had arisen over its name.

Timor-Leste -- (27 Sep. 2002)
Togo -- (20 Sep. 1960)
Tonga -- (14 Sep. 1999)
Trinidad and Tobago -- (18 Sep. 1962)
Tunisia -- (12 Nov. 1956)
Turkey -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Turkmenistan -- (2 Mar. 1992)
Tuvalu -- (5 Sept. 2000)
Uganda -- (25 Oct. 1962)
Ukraine-- (24 Oct. 1945)
United Arab Emirates -- (9 Dec. 1971)
United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland-- (24 Oct. 1945)
United Republic of Tanzania -- (14 Dec. 1961)
Tanganyika was a Member of the United Nations from 14 December 1961 and Zanzibar was a Member from 16 December 1963. Following the ratification on 26 April 1964 of Articles of Union between Tanganyika and Zanzibar, the United Republic of Tanganyika and Zanzibar continued as a single Member, changing its name to the United Republic of Tanzania on 1 November 1964.

United States of America -- (24 Oct. 1945)
Uruguay -- (18 Dec. 1945)
Uzbekistan -- (2 Mar. 1992)
Vanuatu -- (15 Sep. 1981)
Venezuela (Bolivarian Republic of) -- (15 Nov. 1945)
Viet Nam -- (20 Sep. 1977)
Yemen -- (30 Sep. 1947)
Yemen was admitted to membership in the United Nations on 30 September 1947 and Democratic Yemen on 14 December 1967. On 22 May 1990, the two countries merged and have since been represented as one Member with the name "Yemen".

Zambia -- (1 Dec. 1964)
Zimbabwe -- (25 Aug. 1980)

Source: UN Press Release ORG/1360/Rev.1 (10 February 2004)
Updated 24 February 2005

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Panda in a Bar

Panda in a Bar

A panda walked into a bar. He went up to the bar and said “I’d like a steak and kidney pie and a Coke please” so the barman took his order and the panda went to sit down. Soon a waiter brought over his meal. The panda ate it up, thanked and tipped the waiter and paid the bill.

All this seemed pretty normal until the panda pulled out a gun from the depths of his fur, pulled the trigger and BANG! shot the waiter.

The barman came over and said “Wha.. wh.. You just shot my friend!!!”
The panda calmly replied “Do you know what I am?”
“Why yes,” the barman answered. “You’re a panda.”
“Good,” the panda nodded “Now go home and look up ‘panda’ in the dictionary.” And with that, the panda walked out of the bar.

The barman was unsure, however he was very eager to be enlighted on the subject of his friend’s murder, so he went home to find his dictionary.

After a while, he found ‘panda’ and quickly read the definition:

PANDA: 1. A black and white bear native to China. Eats shoots and leaves.


Just thought you would like a joke with a little Pandamonium built in.


Peter

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How To Prepare Chicken

A waiter asks a man, “May I take your order, sir?”

“Yes,” the man replies. “I’m just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?”

“Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die.”



Just a little old fashioned humor to make the day go by.

For more, click the headline above to go to mywits.com where I found it. Not all of the video and humor is rated "G" but most of it is, and you have pretty fair warning and usually have to click something when it is not.


Peter

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