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Monday, March 21, 2005

Heard In Sunday School


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Thanks to my friend JA for forwarding these to me!



A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the
Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for
dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her
students would catch the drama.

Then, she asked the class, "If
you saw a person lying on the roadside,
all wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?"

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence with her quavering little voice, "I think I'd
throw up."

And then she did.



The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of
Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She
explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the
steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar. And then, Elijah
commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and
pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times.

"Now," said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why
the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the

A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand,
"I know, I know," she said, "to make the gravy!"



The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked
back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Johnny
interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she was
DRIVING," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a
telephone pole!"



A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a
lot of fishing when he was on
the Ark?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."



A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been
learning how powerful Kings and Queens were in Bible times.
But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"

One child blurted out, "Aces!"



Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned
in Sunday school.

"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy
lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.

When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a

pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely.

he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for
reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all
the Israelites were saved."

"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his
mother asked.

"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did,

you'd never believe it!"



A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class
memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23.

She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse.

Little Bobby was excited about the task. But, he just couldn't
remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get
past the first line.

On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in

front of the congregation, Bobby was so nervous. When it was
his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,

"The Lord is my shepherd and that's all I need to know!"


That's it for this folder in The Peter Files!

Hope you liked it! Do you have any funny kids stories like these?

If so, please post them in the comments section!


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