Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go?
Wonder no more!!!
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow." Then they kick him in the ice hole....
You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?
As a matter of fact, you might pause to wonder why the words "Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica?" didn't give you pause to think further?
I mean, how many of us actually tool down to Antarctica for any reason, let alone wonder why polar bears aren't doing their jobs...
(If you were disturbed at all by that last comment, just right-click on the two highlighted links and you will feel lots better. Or lots more foolish depending on what that reveals about your cold weather animal habitat lore knowledge.)
I hope you won't be freaked out by this, but my site meter keeps a little info on who comes to visit and right now in the wee hours of the morning its someone at a school I considered going to, the Katholieke Universiteit of Leuven.
But they had NO scholarships for Americans then and I couldn't put together a master's degree program funding without it.
So hurray to you, whomever you are, student or faculty!
Nb: the time on site is often understated. Especially if it is zero. You usually have to go to a second page for me to get any idea how long you were there.
Happy Thanksgiving for all the Americans who read my blog! Happy "Why Not Try Turkey with Cranberry Sauce Day" for the rest of the world.
(Vegans who haven't should really try cranberry sauce and orange-cranberry relish. You have to make the latter yourself usually.)
Yes that's right! That F|Share button in blue you see is the perfect way to share a blog page here you like with your friends.
Best news of all. You can to through the hundreds of posts in our archives to find something special your friends might like or hate, or scroll down my sidebar on the right to see some links I put in for some of my favorites.
While I'm add it. If you go down to the next article you will see my post about why I've been gone so long. Well part of the reason. The rotator cuff injury was just about as awful as I described it.
Worse, they changed my pain medicine to something that gave me reactions as if I had H1N1, the black plague, stomach rot, or the giant weasel of Gort in my tummy. (I put that one in for my fan(s?) from Louth who keep logging in so faithfully. I don't know who you are, but thanks, thanks, thanks for checking back all the time.
I hope to be better at this.
In truth, I've been slacking off a bit because of Facebook. With out putting too fine a point on it, I'm in that slightly older group that seems to be the fastest growing demographic for them.
That means that in the last year, several hundred friends I thought I'd never see or hear from again started writing to me, sharing baby pictures, life stories, all that wonderful stuff. So, I've been writing so much there that I have had less time to write comedy. But my New Year's resolution is not only to write more but to upload more videos now that I have a new iPhone 3Gs that has a built in movie camera which is perfect for blog level (ie., small) movies.
That means lots of laughs because all I have to do is show up to get a laugh!!!
Last. I have some really sick friends right now. Please, if you are one of those that pray, pray for them. I won't list them because I'd then have to update this and I'm too lazy to do that. Except for Emily who is beautiful and young and very, very ill. But she can and will make it, but the prayers of millions of my readers would help a lot.
Of course, I don't have millions of readers, but if you share one page, share this one asking for prayers for Emily. When it's not needed I will take it down. Good thoughts and well wishes are also welcome.
OK, this is really the laaast thing. I've gotten a few nice comments from other humor webmasters asking me if I wouldn't mind promoting their site:
Sorry. This I try to keep this site safe for home and work. So, if your website has bad words in the title, I may visit it and leave you a message, but I won't be adding your comment to my blog. Not when the very NAME of your blog isn't funny.
I visit the sites I get ads for in comments on an older machine. If it starts to act up right away I know your site is bad news. Sometimes I will let ads for places I think interesting through. Especially small, individual or close to it blogs like mine that feature fun clean humor. Then I place them in my sidebar if I really like them for others to find. Note: If you really, really, really want a blogger to feature you on his site, there's no better way than featuring him first!
Oops. Joke needed.
Q: Waiter! How do you prepare your turkeys! A: We don't beat around the bush sir. We tell them flat out they are going to die.