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Monday, September 17, 2007

The Blonde's Year In Review & Other Stories - A Female Fan's Submission


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Thanks to my long time friend Debbie Z. for this one.

And in case you are wondering, no, as it happens, she is not blonde, but some of her best friends are, truly. Right, Jill?

A Blonde's Year in Review

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print
labels.....Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer!!!

March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6
months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid .....wrong instructions....8 cups of
water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the
other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped
because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ... instructions said 1 hour
per pound and I weigh 108!!

December - Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh".....there's no "eleven"
button on the stupid phone!!!


A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her
right side hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says,
"Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"

She says, "Why, officer?"

"Because you're top is exposed and you are hanging out on your right side," he says.

She looks down and says, "OH MY G__, I left the baby on the bus


A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond
female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the
mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the

A little later she came out of her house again went to the
mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back
into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, out she came again,
marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

(Are you ready? This is a beauty...)

My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

And there you have it, another sucessful fan submission.

Could the next one be yours?

Rebuttal jokes from blondes are always welcome!

Be sure to send your joke in to the address below or just put it in a comment with whatever attribution you'd like, a clean attribution, that is.

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The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary

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