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Monday, July 30, 2007

Get a Kiss from Kate July 27th - August 12th at the Lesnieski Center in Lisle and the Athenaem Theatre in Chicago

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See Kiss Me Kate Performed by NightBlue Performing Arts Company!

Time to Brush up Your Shakespeare, here's Another Op'n'n Another Show where the heat between the fighting leads gets Too Damn Hot until whether they like it or not they are Falling in Love Aain. But will their tempers and egos let them stay together or cause the biggest breakup since The War of the Roses? (Think Michael Douglas, Kathleen Tuner and Danny Divito).

Here's a musical adaptation that's really worth checking out! Originally on Broadway, this is one of Cole Porter's finest works.

Did you say acoustics? at the Atheneum the theatrical space is incredible. I should know, I've been on both sides of the curtain as an actor and as an audience member.

Built as an opera house for the thriving and wealthy German Community in the area that surrounded St. Alphonsus Church, the Atheneum Theater was meant to compete with the Opera Houses of Europe and few expenses were spared to support the productions there, from three story fly space for the flats that hold the backgrounds for the sets, to full size dressing rooms for the cast filling the basement under the stage including room for an entire orchestra and the kind of traps needed for the kind of ups and downs needed for many a show.

With all that care built into a theater, the acoustics for a musical, especially one of this kind, are marvelous. Kiss me Kate is not to be missed if you can possibly make it.
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Night Blue Theater

NightBlue Theater Presents:
KISS ME, KATE
Come see one of Chicago's premier theater companies with a 13 piece jazz orchestra in Cole Porter's most famous work,
featuring songs such as:

Another Op'nin', Another Show
Too Darn Hot
Always True to You
So In Love
Tom, Dick or Harry
and many, many more!!!

on the Athenaeum Theater Mainstage
2936 N. Southport, Chicago, IL 60657
August 3rd, 4th, 10th, 11th at 8pm
August 5th and 12th at 3pm
Tickets $20-25
over the phone or in person at the Athenaeum box office
312-902-1500
and at...
The Lesnieski Center
16028 W. 127th St., Lemont, IL 60439
July 27th-28th 8pm
July 29th 3pm

Tickets $18 Adults / $15 Seniors and Students
Call 630-257-3077

A collection will be taken to benefit Breast Cancer Research,
and a free ticket is available for breast cancer survivors by calling 630-257-3077 or email tina@nightbluetheater.com.

A limited number of rush tickets will be available at all Hot Tix locations the day of the show.
An industry discount night will be announced in Performink magazine.
11976 Holly Court | Lemont, IL 60439 | www.nightbluetheater.com


Here's some more information about the show. Sorry I can't tell you about the Lenski center, I've never been there. But the show, a musical version of Skakespeare's Taming of the Shrew, a rousing and funny update of one of the Bard's classic comedy of tension, anger and fire turned to love between true equals.

Welcome to Baltimore! Fred Graham’s theater company is about to premiere a musical version of Shakespeare’s the Taming of the Shrew, starring Fred and his recent ex-wife, Lilli as Petruchio and Kate.

Fred and Lilli are now happily celebrating the one-year anniversary of their divorce when love blooms again, as Lilli mistakenly receives flowers meant for Fred’s new love, Taming’s Bianca, Lois Lane .

Lois, meanwhile, is frantic because her current beau, Bill Calhoun (playing Lucentio) has signed Fred’s name on a gambling debt and now her future on Broadway is in jeopardy. Add in two unsavory characters come to collect their dough and Lilli’s new fiancé, a high-ranking government official, and it’s a wonder the show can go on! Tempers flare both on-stage and off as Fred and Lilli learn that yes, they still do love each other.

Featuring Broadway favorites like “Another Openin’, Another Show”, “Too Darn Hot”, “Brush Up Your Shakespeare” and “Wunderbarr” and a toe-tapping score by Cole Porter, Kiss Me, Kate is sure to please the entire family.

July 27th-29th Lesnieski Center
Lemont, IL 60439
Tickets $18 / $15 Senior & Student
For Tickets: 630.257.3077
August 3rd-5th
August 10th-12th
The Athenaeum Theatre
2936 N. Southport
Chicago, IL 60657
Tickets $20-25
For Tickets: 312.902.1500 or www.ticketmaster.com

Cast and Staff

Rocco Ayala
Hortensio
David Baldwin
Bill Calhoun/Lucentio
Dominic Boyte
Ensemble
Jessica Bradley
Ensemble/Bianca Understudy
Eleni Frank
Ensmeble
Jamin Gahm
Ralph
Sarah Gilbert
Haberdasher
Eric Hawrysz
Paul
Taryn Herman
Ensemble
Tobi Lowrance
Dance Captain
Caitlin McKechney
Lilli Vanessi/Kate
Matt Morales
1st Man
Maura Murrihy O'Flaherty
Pit Singer/Ensemble
Paul Packer
Gremio
Joanne Ray
Hattie
J.R. Wilson
2nd Man
Keith Rumbaugh
Harry Trevor/Baptista
Joseph Smith
Fred Graham/Petruchio
Amanda Lee Squibb
Lois Lane/Bianca
Tom Zettergren
Gen. Harrison Howell
David E. Walters
Producer/Director
Nick Zahara-Such
Assistant Director
Pat Rinkenberger
Vocal Director
Laura Zettergren
Choreographer
Sheryl Cloud
Rehearsal Pianist
Sara Schwanke
Stage Managerzzz

Go to the group's website for more information, especially funny is the Cast Unplugged Page.

Once again, for a great night out, try Nightblue Performing Arts Company's/Theater's Kiss Me Kate!

Peter, Chief Editor and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

We strive to keep our humor and comments safe for home and work. Some of the links that appear here may not meet our standards. If this appears on a regular basis, please let us know at "thepeterfilesblog dot gmail dot com". Thank You!

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Saturday, July 28, 2007

Helicopter Humor

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I found out recently that my cousin R. has been taking helicopter flying lessons. For those of you unaware of this, flying helicopters is a bit harder than flying an airplane be it a jet, a propeller airplane, a bi-plane or even a glider. That is in a large part because you have to get used to handling not only the big rotor that brings you up, down, and controls the angle and speed of your movement, but also the rotor in the back that keeps your little rock in the sky from spinning around like a frog in a blender. That back rotor is really important, and controlling it, while moving, up, down and side to side is why flying helicopters can be really tricky.

Of course, helicopters can go places no other aircraft can go, and land places no other aircraft can, like on the roof of buildings like hospitals, which is usually a really good thing. R. is one of my younger cousins, with lots of younger sisters and one of my most vivid memories was the first weekend she got her driver's license, and I happened to be at a major intersection waiting for the bus when their station wagon came careening around the corner with R. at the wheel, my Godchild M. half hanging out one window, and one of the others waving her arms out the other. There is a reason Roman Catholic's have the sign of the cross and that moment was made for it as I prayed that they would make it home safely.

R. has always been one of the most responsible of my cousins however, (I have 41 cousins in that tier so I don't have to say how many are in the very, very responsible group, now do I? LOL) and so none were lost on that ride, but of course the first image that flashed through my mind when R. told me she was about halfway through helicopter flight training was that image of 20 years ago, then another of her doing a low level run in a Huey around the same corner with the same results.

Ruth will be a fine pilot of course, time has passed since that first encounter. She is not only much matured, but I think her level of instruction is much higher than her high school's driver's Ed program and her parent's possible desire to get all the kids out of the house for a few blessed minutes of peace.

With this in mind, I have scoured the net for some helicopter jokes and dedicated this post to cousin R., in hopes that I can get a ride with her soon after she gets her license to fly. Yup, soon after. She's going to be a great pilot, I can already tell.


Part of An Actual Helicopter Training Session Intro:

As you know, there is a bolt in the rotor assembly that is
quite critical. It holds the rotor onto the shaft. In a fit of
wisdom, it was once termed the "Jesus bolt." The apparent reasoning
was that only the good grace of the Savior kept it from failing.

Failure of the Jesus bolt quickly gives a helicopter the same
aerodynamic properties enjoyed by the common household brick. These
same gentlemen also proved that a bumblebee cannot fly. In my talk
this evening, I'll ignore their error concerning the bee and focus
on their correct assessment of helicopter aerodynamics.


A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.

The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said 'WHERE AM I?' in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said 'YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.'

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how the 'YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER' sign helped determine their position.

The pilot responded 'I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because they gave me a technically correct, but completely useless answer.'


Helicopters don't really fly. They're so ugly the earth repels them.


Q: When was the last time you went to an antique helicopter fly-in?

A: Never. Helicopters fall apart before they get to be antiques.


Joe went on a free helicopter ride for his birthday, but the helicopter crashed on its way back to the airport, and Joe and the pilot were injured but not killed. Joe's brother Tony, who had given Joe the free ride rushed to the hospital full of guilt to find out what had happened because he had picked the company in particular because of its outstanding safety record.

"What the heck happened, Joe! If this was their fault I'm going to sue the pants off them, you could have been killed!"

"I don't know", said Joe, "I'd been drinking that Champagne that you sent along for the flight and by the time we were coming back I was getting really cold. That bird was not really well insulated. All I really remember really is reaching up to turn off that big fan, and the pilot screaming, when a few seconds later we started spinning and started to fall like a rock...

Two cows are standing on top of a hill. One cow turns to the other cow and says: "Are you worried about mad cow disease?"

The other cow looks puzzled: "Why? I'm a helicopter."


One Chicago helicopter pilot to another in a bar near Midway Airport:

"So, how'd you get started flying helicopters? Was it the thrill of flying, the way members of the opposite sex react when you tell them you're a pilot, the knowledge and skill required, knowing that you are your own boss when you are up in the air flying, or is it the knowledge of the risk, the adventure, the thrill of knowing that a mechanical failure could lead to certain death at any time?"

The other looked at him with steely eyes and said, "No way, you're from here, you should know better than that!"

"I was just tired of risking my life every time I went out on the Dan Ryan Expressway. That thing's dangerous! After my third rear-ender I said to hell with this, I wanted a safe way to travel!"


Q: What's the difference between an eastern block helicopter and a NATO one?

A: Eastern block Helicopters have ejection seats.


Darted Moose Attacks Biologist's Helicopter

March 5, 2007

A moose apparently annoyed by being shot with a tranquilizer dart charged the rear rotor of a hovering helicopter, colliding with it and eventually bringing it down to the ground. The pilot and a wildlife biologist aboard the helicopter were not injured in the incident but the moose had to be euthanized. As a part of his study on moose, biologist Kevin White shot the animal with a tranquilizer dart and followed it while the pilot maneuvered the helicopter to keep the animal from slipping into a tight space or collapsing in water and drowning, Doug Larsen, regional supervisor for the Division of Wildlife Conservation told the Anchorage Daily news.


In Washington D.C., helicopters are often used to monitor the traffic conditions. The Francis Scott Key bridge, named after the man who wrote the national anthem, is frequently jammed.

The bridge's traffic problem is notorious and frequently featured on helicopter TV news shots; among some, it's known as the Car Strangled Spanner.


A former huey pilot thought that if he ever lost his rotor mast at high-enough altitude, he'd take his helmet off and put it on backwards, drop his pants, sit on the cyclic, and let the NTSB try to explain it.

I suspect they might just write it off as a rotor cup injury....


Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter". Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars".

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance." Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars".

The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's 50 dollars." Morris and Esther agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"

Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know -- 50 dollars is 50 dollars."


They may not all be original, but gosh darn it they sure are funny. Let's hope that R.'s mom doesn't see the ones about crashes. Good luck R!

Peter, Chief Editor and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

We strive to keep our humor and comments safe for home and work. Some of the links that appear here may not meet our standards. If this appears on a regular basis, please let us know at "thepeterfilesblog dot gmail dot com". Thank You!

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Saved Seats

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A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.

The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"

"Sam," the man moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?"

With pain in his voice Sam replied, "The balcony."

After all that, I bet Sam missed the Second Act.

Peter, Chief Editor and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

We strive to keep our humor and comments safe for home and work. Some of the links that appear here may not meet our standards. If this appears on a regular basis, please let us know at "thepeterfilesblog dot gmail dot com". Thank You!

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A Bad Day Bar None

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There was this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. After he didn’t move for a half-an-hour, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up right next to him, took the drink from the guy, and just drank it all down. The poor man started crying.

The truck driver turned and said: “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man crying.”

“No, it’s not that.” the man replied, “Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss became outraged and then fired me. When I left the building to my car, I found out that it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing. I then got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my whole wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife had left me for the gardener.”

The man was really sobbing now, “I left home depressed and came to this bar. And now, just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, YOU show up and drink my poison …”

Woo doggie, now that's a bad day!

Peter, Chief Editor and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

We strive to keep our humor and comments safe for home and work. Some of the links that appear here may not meet our standards. If this appears on a regular basis, please let us know at "thepeterfilesblog dot gmail dot com". Thank You!

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Thursday, July 26, 2007

W T-Shirts Have You Seen One of These?

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Ah, submitted jokes, the kind I like best. You can do it too! And so what if its been copied and forwarded by a thousand people? That just means it has to be funny, right?

Like this one forwarded by my good friend Ken. It appears to have only been forwarded once. Its a collection of T-shirts seen on the street. No one would make these up would they?

1) (Seen on an infant's shirt): Already smarter than Bush.

2) 1/20/09: End of an Error

3) That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway

4) Let's Fix Democracy in This Country First

5) Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber.

6) You Can't Be Pro-War And Pro-Life At The Same Time

7) If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President

8) Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?

9) George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to
Fight

10) We Need a New Decider and a New Vice Decider, too.

11) America: One Nation, Under Surveillance

12) They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It

13) Which God Do You Kill For?

14) Jail to the Chief

15) WWJT: Who Would Jesus Torture?

16) No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade?

17) Bush: God's Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full Of
Baloney*

18) Bad president! No Banana.

19) We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One Language

20) We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them

21) Rich Man's War, Poor Man's Blood

22) Is It Vietnam Yet?

23) Bush Doesn't Care About White People, Either

24) Where Are We Going? Why Are We In This Hand Basket?

25) You Elected Him. You Deserve Him.

26) Impeach Cheney First

27) When Bush Took Office, Gas Was $1.46

28) The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century

29) 2004: Embarrassed, 2005: Horrified, 2006: Terrified

30) The Democrats will have a hard time in office because everyone in show business knows not to follow a kid or animal act!

31) W: who knew anyone could make us long for the days of Watergate, killer rabbits and blue dresses with spots on them?

Something almost Shakespearean about number 31 isn't there?

*Actually, the word was stronger than baloney, but this is a family safe blog. Insert a stronger word here if you like.


I'm sure that some will howl with protest at this one, so send in some Hillary jokes why don't you?

Peter, Chief Editor and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary

Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

We strive to keep our humor and comments safe for home and work. Some of the links that appear here may not meet our standards. If this appears on a regular basis, please let us know at "thepeterfilesblog dot gmail dot com". Thank You!

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Monday, July 23, 2007

Why Did Sly Cross The Road?

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Hi, I'm back from my vacation and I'm not going to start out by giving you my review of the 7th and last in the Harry Potter series Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling (other than to say go read it soon, as, befitting the growth of each of the books, the last book carries Harry and friends to the darkest, most complex and noble, self-sacrificing, and thought provoking places yet on their quest to vanquish an evil that touches them in ways that feel ever more personal than magical making the book, and its reflections on death, courage, and choice, much richer than a story about broomsticks, Quiddich, and Bernie Bott's every-flavored beans) though I finished it Saturday, about 12 hours after my local library opened.

I was forced into a two hour nap due to a very nasty stomach flue, well, you don't want to know....

I won't review the book here but I will also just say that under fire and increasing age, our favorite characters encounter surprises, sadness, death and joy that lie hidden behind corners unexpectedly, just as in life.

At any rate, since Much else of what I want to say about the book is still rattling around up there in that dunsicle I call a brain, I thought I'd bring you a funny and ironic short film called Unhinged: The Sly Stevens Story by Director Dave Liberstein.

Unlike many of the thinks you find on Youtube.com, this little gem was actually produced by a director as a short film and has some good production values. Better yet, the film is funny and Ironic, as it tells us the story about Sly, a 30'ish young man with a very unusual, er, lifestyle.

All I want to say is that it has nothing to do with Wizards, Witches, enchanted wands, broomsticks, portkeys, or boys with lightning scars on their foreheads. I do have to be honest and admit that I didn't look too closely to see if Sly didn't have a tiny little forehead scar, but really, that would have been out of character with the story which is set right here in the good old USA.

Take a look, you won't be sorry.



That's it for now. Oh, you do want the Potter book? Note that I will first mention that my wife got in a very, very short line at our local branch of the library so that we could get a copy to read free without standing in line. We'll eventually buy it of course, but since Chicago does not let you put holds on books that are not in the system yet, no one could even ask for one until 9:15 am on Saturday.

Support your libraries and they will be good to you!

But if you would like to order a copy or the whole series, or any other Potter related stuff, I direct your attention to the Little Amazon Search box that is either at the upper right corner of your screen or after all the posts on this page.

Just type in or click "Harry Potter Store" to find all things Harry Potter.

Hey, sorry about that, but this blog has virtually no income stream, so if it gets some, I can justify with she-who-must-not-be-named-yet-nonetheless-be-obeyed spending more time writing here.

Get it? Got it? Good.

Really, she was wonderful, I was sick as a dog, she went out and got it and then she let ME read it first, if that isn't love....

Oh, Why did Sly cross the road? If you watched the movie - it wasn't for no durn chicken!


Peter, Chief Editor, Film Critic, Book Reviewer and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary

Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

We strive to keep our humor and comments safe for home and work. Some of the links that appear here may not meet our standards. If this appears on a regular basis, please let us know at "thepeterfilesblog dot gmail dot com". Thank You!

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Sunday, July 08, 2007

Seep Thoughts: Number 1

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Seep Thoughts: Number 1

When you've been unemployed for two and a half years, it may not be the greatest idea in the world to excitedly bring home and tell your wife how excited you were to find the computer version of Monty Python's A Complete Waste of Time in the bargain bin.



Peter, Chief Editor and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

We strive to keep our humor and comments safe for home and work. Some of the links that appear here may not meet our standards. If this appears on a regular basis, please let us know at "thepeterfilesblog dot gmail dot com". Thank You!

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