Just about everyone has heard about Sarah Palin's revisionist telling of Paul Revere's famous ride where she managed to get a few of the easiest and most memorable details of American Revolutionary History wrong and then tried to weasel her way out of it rather than just admit her mistake and move on.
So Paul wasn't riding to warn the British that the Americans knew they were coming, riding his horse, ringing his bell and shooting his gun as Palin claimed. Politicians say all kinds of crazy things. Where's the harm here?
Well, the first problem is that it makes her look ridiculous as everyone knows that Paul was out advertising his Silver shop's midnight madness sale when a light from the old church tower fell onto his hat and created the idea for the world's first fire sale!
The British are coming! The British are coming! Here your Revereware before it's gone, gone, gone! He shouted! Following the old trade route from Lexington to Concord Paul managed to scare up quite a crowd too who happened to be on hand for his free musketball promotion.
One free musketball if by land, two free musketballs if by sea, was enough to get quite a few men out for the Colonies' first blue light sale! Patriot and Hero of Capitalism, no wonder Revere is so Revered by Republicans!
What's that you say? That's closer but it's not how it happened? I'm sorry. Come to think of it I might have filled in a few details on my own. Better check a history book or wiki... Oh, never mind. Good thing I'm not running for president.
Well, at least I admitted my mistake right away just like Sarah Palin did.
What's that? She didn't? She tried to fool all of the people on one of the most basic and well known stories of American History?
How cute? Isn't that precious? She's decided the key to victory is to appear to be as smart as media darlings Paris and Lindsey. All she has to do now is leak her sex tape. What? Say it isn't so.
Whew. It isn't so. Joe Weiner, a Democrat came close enough to that.
So what bothers me about the story is not that she got such basic facts wrong. Facts my 8 year old knew better. What bothers me is she lied about it and tried to get away with it.
We generally hold Presidents to a higher standard. We at least expect them to know which fights are worth fighting and when it is better to admit a mistake and try to move on. This was clearly the only smart way to handle Revere gate yet neither Palin or any of her advisors were smart enough to figure that out in time to avoid severe damage to the credibility of her candidacy. The credibility loss came not so much from making the mistake, but from having no one who was willing to admit the mistake.
I know the version of history listed here is not correct. It's meant to entertain not inform. But our President should never be our Jester, we have VP's for that.
I try to admit my errors and Presidents should too, at least to the degree the job allows. Sure, we all acknowledge that sometimes, for good reasons, Presidents lie. What most of us don't want are Presidents who are so I'll educated that they feel that they have to lie habitually just to keep up. That kind of person just doesn't merit the job and the job should go to someone better qualified.
I'm capable of factual and historical mistakes. That's a given when you write comedy. But I am not a candidate for President and in times like these when candidates want the workers to tighten their belts and improve their performance they better be prepared to do the same darn thing themselves.
If candidates expouse better performance from teachers, then their own spelling, history and math should darn well be up to snuff. Or they'll get a math lesson in 2012 at the polls.
Nb: Errors made in this post are mine. Sorry. I'll try to do better next time.
Hard as it is to believe, the Peter Files Blog of Comedy has been, according to the video below, attacked and singled out on a variety of wild charges that we can't even believe he believes are true so are not going to dignify them with a response.
However, if Beck comes after someone as silly as us you might well ask, could you be next? Click on the link here to come back to the blog if this has been mailed to you, then click on the video link below.
What an outrageous video! You can see why we couldn't let it go by without comment.
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go?
Wonder no more!!!
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow." Then they kick him in the ice hole....
You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?
As a matter of fact, you might pause to wonder why the words "Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica?" didn't give you pause to think further?
I mean, how many of us actually tool down to Antarctica for any reason, let alone wonder why polar bears aren't doing their jobs...
(If you were disturbed at all by that last comment, just right-click on the two highlighted links and you will feel lots better. Or lots more foolish depending on what that reveals about your cold weather animal habitat lore knowledge.)
Steven Wright Videos. Steven is one of the funniest driest comics around. If you like this stuff you will go to the iTunes store or over to Amazon or even a local record store and buy all his stuff, even these routines so you can take them with you on your iPod, I mean, your portable media player.
I hesitated for a long time about putting these up, but apparently, Wright's camp has only objected to some of the material being taken down. For example, parts 4-5 of the material below come from his "I Still Have a Pony" album. If he had wanted it all taken down, You Tube would have had it taken down immediately. So clearly, they see some value in having some of his material up. (In the same vein, I will take down any copyrighted material immediately upon notification of the original copyright owner and I usually avoid putting up anything not meant for further distribution.)
Since it appears that Steven wishes the publicity, I'll introduce him to you this way. There is a huge amount of his material available and I encourage you to become a fan.
IMPORTANT - I can't guarantee the language on all of this one, so use headphones if you are at work. Steven does not usually use bad language though.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
"I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it." - Steven Wright
Every once in awhile people will ask me why I like working on a Mac a thousand times better than on a PC.
Here's a picture, worth more than 1,000 words that sums it up. It's a copy of the install instructions from the Cogii game Escape from the Museum which was issued in dual Mac/IBM format.
Just read the install instructions for each platform and you will see what I mean.
Here's a game manufacturer with a sense of humor says I. Perhaps the museum is a museum of obsolete Windows machines...
As my regular readers know, in order to support the art, every so often I will promote the arts by running ads for Chicago Area Productions, and when I can, and a show runs long enough to merit it, or I can see it before it opens in a short run, I write a review. I attended the performance of Up and Coming Theater's The Producers on Saturday, October 11. 2008.
Short Review: This production of The Producers is a triumph of comedy, satire, song and dance that will leave you longing for more as you laugh and sing your way home.
Change your plans for this weekend and see Up & Coming Theatre’s The Producers on October 16, 17, 18 and 19th or you’ll regret it and your smarter friends will make fun of you. I am tempted to come a second and or third time, myself.
Forest View Theater 2121 S. Goebbert Rd Arlington Heights, IL 60005
Remaining Performances: • Thursday, October 16 - 7:30 pm • Friday, October 17 - 7:30 pm • Saturday, October 18 - 7:30 pm • Sunday, October 19 - 2:30 pm
Tickets: • Call 847-718-7702 Mon - Fri 9 am to 4 pm • Advance - $15 ($12 with Gold Card) • Door - $18
Up & Coming Theatre’s current production of The Producers is nothing less than a triumph and I don’t use that term lightly. This production is a hysterical romp, a madcap express train riot and one of the most fun and exciting shows I’ve seen in a long, long time. The cast, full orchestra and crew provided a synthesis of acting, singing, dancing, directing, choreography, orchestra, crew, sets, lighting, and fantastic costuming that left me longing for more.
Director Susan Hamel kept this rollicking farce moving at lightning speed and seemed to never leave an opportunity for an actor or dancer to let a laugh pass by while somehow increasing the pace as the number onstage grew. Choreographer Jennifer Cupani’s marvelous work was not only breathlessly pleasing, but breathtakingly funny as well, and provided everyone in the show, from walker tapping grannies, to Max. Leo, Ulla and the “Springtime” water ballet dancers, a chance to shine as they danced, rolled, shaked, shimmied, Ullalated, Scotterized, or DeBris’d the audience into ecstascy, laughter, or hysteria, whatever the case may have been.
The Music Direction by Thomas Stirling was masterful. The Producers, Jorge Bermudez, Rich McMillan and Mario Manno are to be praised for allowing Stirling the resources to put together a 16-piece orchestra, and what an orchestra, not overpowering, note perfect, and perfectly nuanced, the orchestra provided the track on which this express hurtled so directly towards our hearts. His work with the singers and dancers was superb. While you can never tell what part of a performance’s success is due to the Director and Musical Director, when this many people get so much so perfectly right, you know that their hands must have been strong at the helm of this titan of a musical. I’d call it a Titanic success but this ship did not flounder!
The lighting and scenery by Chelsea Lynn and Robert Hamel respectively added to the fun. While Max’s office seems unremarkable, it is in other areas that the true creativity comes out, and boy does it come out! That’s all I can really say, some things have to be seen in person to be appreciated.
Getting back to Director Susan Hamel, her major triumph was in creating a cohesive whole out of what could have been an unconnected morass of individual bits and “here I am” performances, focusing them, drawing the best out of each performer, until the show had assumed a life of its own, a synergistic cohesion of magic, where a miracle has occurred beyond your wildest expectations. That’s The Producers I saw this weekend. More than worth the 35-mile round-trip I took (twice, I got lost the first time) to get there. It was worth the trip, and more.
This seemingly effortless cohesion of talent ran through the whole show, this cast knew what they could do, and they did it. They knocked the audiences socks off one toe at a time, and then slipped the socks back on so they could do it again.
Now I have to try to write about nearly 30 performers, each of whom in other shows I would probably single out. Oh the tragedy of it, oh the horror! I’m going to leave someone out! And that will be a tragedy, for The Producers, like many shows of its kind, depends upon the company as a whole to keep the show going in so many places, and in this production in particular, it is the company that is the star, from It’s Opening Night, through Along Came Bially, the mammoth, eye-bending, Springtime for Hitler, Prisoners of Love, and Goodbye, the company showcases the stars, but is itself the star, as each member is given their own moments to shine, time after time, after time, after time.
Certainly it helps that the singers can dance and the dancers can sing, the tappers can count, and sing, and dance all at the same time, and all can be funny when they are supposed to be too.
There is a lot of physical comedy in this show and something you just can’t get from a concert, though the music was certainly top quality. From Spidale’s death grip on his blankey, Hamel’s entreaty’s to God, Ulla’s well, Ullaating, Anthony Berg’s incredible antics as the crazed Franz Liebkind, John Boss’s continual antics from the first seconds of his entrance as DeBris to his last moments on stage, and most especially, Dan Naylor’s counter to type dramatic, flouncing, prancing, saucy, bouncy, leaping entrance as DeBris’ Choreographer Scott, complete with saucy belly moves that had young girls there to see him swooning (I saw them Dan, don’t let them deny it, there was swooning); the show’s physical comedy was brilliantly done and helped make the show such a smash hit.
I guess the lead actors helped too. What? Them too?
When meek and mild Leo Bloom (Bob Spidale) mentions off-handedly that a crooked Broadway producer could make more money from a flop than a hit; cynical has-been Max Bialystock (Nicholas Hamel) jumps on the idea – and Bloom – like a crazed mountain lion, starting the two on an misbegotten search for a play “so bad it has to fail”, that has a brilliance, talent and fervor that is a delight for the heart and ears.
Essential to the success of the show is that Hamel and Spidale gel nearly perfectly as comic foils and masters of physical comedy with their own unique talents having many surprises to give. Though both bear some resemblance to the originals, especially Spidale, you soon forget that and get lost in this company’s magical trek towards disaster.
Hamel is nothing less than fantastic as Bialystock, less knowing and cynical than Nathan Lane’s version of the role, his Max sings richer, dances with more grace and with moves that Mr. Lane could only fondly remember. Hamel’s Betrayed, the test of tests for any to attempt this role, is superbly and artfully performed with a deftness and mimicry of the others in the cast that brought roars from the audience. His comic timing and sense of the absurd delight the audience as he pushes Bloom along in Der Gutan Tag Hop-Clop and Keep it Gay. It seems clear that one day, you will remember that you saw Nicholas Hamel in person in a break-through performance for only $18, fondly, if you are clever enough to come.
Bob Spidale is also someone you may well remember seeing first here. His Max Bloom has a golden voice that makes all his songs a delight, but his emotive skills shine though especially in That Face, I Wanna Be A Producer, and that homage to friendship, ‘Til Him. I’d compare him too, but who care about "that guy" when you can see Spidale this weekend?
Like Hamel, Spidale is a great physical comic. Spidale’s sense of the vaudevillian hilarity is never so spot on as when he dives for his “blanky” or fights with Bialystock after the first night of their show. Spidale makes the audience laugh, roar and sigh, as he, Hamel and Malloy triangulate the movements of the audience’s funny bones all night long.
Sarah Malloy’s Ulla literally leaves male audience member’s jaws dropping* when “Ulla dance” and “Ulla dance again”. I turned around to look when I finally was able to wrench my eyes away; the things a critic must do for the art. My eyes are still annoyed at me for taking them off Ms. Malloy. Her husband is not.
Yet, Malloy’s acting and singing chops go far beyond Ulla’s bewitching belly blenderizing as she brings a joyous esprit to Ulla that makes her a joy to watch throughout the show.
Sarah Malloy’s voice as “Ulla Sings” is also quite splendiciously fine, and if her belting is not as loud as Ethel Merman’s, quite frankly, nobody minded, the sound was beautiful and so was she. Malloy’s singing in That Face is particularly beautiful and her performance in the last quarter of the show, as “Ulla acts” brings an almost insane excitement to the part. More importantly, Malloy played a funny, determined, intelligent Ulla, and I continually wondered who was pulling the strings as soon as she entered the story. This was a plot element missing from the modern version, and I liked it.
Well, you’ll have to see the show to see what else she delivered. It was a joy to watch her magnificent performance as Ulla the dancer. Here Malloy, surrounded by all the other dancers in the company not only held her own, but shone showing just how talented Malloy is, and how much more of her than “Ulla” we may see of her some day.*(I am told that the murmurs during intermission that photos N____e and S______a took of husbands with their jaws gaping open were available for sale at a small fee, is just a rumor. Surely participation in theatre could not lead our young youths astray?)
I am afraid it will be difficult to talk about John B. Boss’ performance as the untalented director DeBris with a straight face, he was so outrageously funny, it was only the cast’s rehearsal schedule that saved them from Tim Conway-it is, if you get it? Got it? Good.
John Boss’ DeBris goes beyond staggering in this unforgettably flamboyant performance that had the audience rolling each and every time he made his unique way onto the stage.
Boss’ acting, singing and dancing would have completely stolen any other show had not this cast; from curly tops and producer hats to baby blue tap dancing bottoms and storm trooper boots, not been so finely polished. Boss is a consummate actor, and in what could have been a two-note character part, he produces a symphony, with all the trills and flourishes that his comic imagination could provide, each moment building on the one before it, until that glorious moment when all is revealed and he tops himself once again. And amazingly, the company marches right along with him to glory.
I’ve seen Boss in any number of productions over the years; he’s entertained audiences in all kinds of roles from romantic but unmarried Bobby in Company to geriatric curmudgeon Scrooge in The Christmas Carol, but in this performance, he has outdone himself, going beyond all expectations, superceding all imagination and anything the movie has to offer. If for no other reason, you should see this production just to see John Boss’ DeBris. You will never, ever see anything like it again.
DeBris is the perfect vehicle for Boss who is a magnificent performer in his own right. Tall and bald, his DeBris is a queenly force to be reckoned with, yet played with all the fawning insecurity the part requires. His, um, how should I put it in a family blog, posse, I’ll use that spelling, Will Loftus as Carmen Ghia, Barry Blodgett as Brian, Michael DeFrang as Kevin (and the Soloist Storm Trooper in Springtime for Hitler), Dan Naylor as Scott, and Katy Smith as Shirley, were perfectly cast and perfectly funny. Frankly, I enjoyed this scene far more than I enjoyed it in the movie due to the combined efforts of the cast. Granted, the tension brought to the scene by Spidale and Hamel pushed the laugh index through the roof and Boss’s take no prisoners physical comedy approach made the audience scream. That was before Gary Peterson’s memorable entrance.
Later in the show, DeFrang’s solo in Springtime for Hitler was a showstopper. Superb. No other word for it. Then of course, John Boss entered as “you know who”. From that point on the laughter never seemed to end.
The most difficult part of this review is that there is so much to praise in this production and so little to criticize. I found nothing of note to criticize, and worse, there was something wonderful to point out about every actor on stage. In a cast this large, this makes the review start to take on the length of War and Peace, yet in this case, it might be worth it.
For example, while Will Loftus was amazingly funny and sincerely pathetic as Carmen Ghia, providing Boss a perfect counter-point all the way through the show, yet his deep bass solo near the top of the show in I Wanna Be A Producer is so rich and beautiful that it, in and of itself is worthy of a mention.
Anthony Berg’s startlingly amazing performance and dancing as Fritz Liebkind (and his birds) caught me completely by surprise. Berg brought just the right amount of madness and camp to his portrayal, yet when the time called for tension and drama, he was able to bring it within the lines of the character he had drawn. I doubt anyone who saw his hilarious singing and dancing performance as Fritz, will ever be able to forget it. He should go far.
So who do I leave out?
How about the beautiful and beautifully choreographed tap girls who steal the audiences hearts in I Wanna Be A Producer: it’s easy to single out the tall and beautiful Laura Berger and not-as-tall but beautiful Samantha Giovannetti, since they double as usherettes. At the same time, the gorgeous Nicole Giannelli, Erika Bradbury, Jodi Buczek and Katy Smith, blended perfectly with the others, making the tap girls a unified, funny and sexy unit throughout the show.
Or should I forget to mention the comic genius of “Not her!” Elaine Castor whose frenetic and persistent antics reminded me of the Ingénue in the Royal Shakespeare Company’s “The Critic” from the Chicago International Theatre Festival of the 1980’s? Both women decades apart gave me belly laughs and a near coronary. This company can’t be faulted for not swinging Castro in on a wire, it’s not in the script, but she tries to get back in the chorus line nearly every other way with fierce aplomb, yet in her other dancing characters, could not be a more graceful beauty or refined, if called for.
Speaking of costumes, follies girls Shannon Langland, Erika Bradbury, Mia Hirschel, and Toni Higgins-Thrash deserve special marks for bravery for wearing their staggeringly skimpy and ludicrously perfect costumes during Springtime for Hitler. Come to think of it, I really should have worked tech on this show. It’s only 70 miles round trip, quite reasonable really…
Don’t let me let this tiny bit of wit give the chorus girls short shrift. Their voices were heavenly and did much to make the Busby Berkeley meets Esther Williams choreography near the end of the show work its magic and their voices were as gracefully heavenly as they were. Yep, I really blew it on this one. I bet I could have been the pigeon wrangler…
Double casting was well hidden. There sure were a lot of Bialy girls. Who would suspect that Mr. Marks, The Indian, Donald Dinsmore, and a variety of walk-on storm troopers, theatergoers and prisoners were all played by the excellent, quick changing character actor Gary Peterson? Or that Barry Blodgett covered Bryan, Jason and Cop O’Brien? So, I’m not even going to go there.
Which brings us to the music overall. Stunning, enchanting, surprising, thrilling, powerful, balanced, audible, even, all parts heard, in short everything you want and expect from a show of this caliber. I heard every note and every note seemed to be wonderfully sung from virtually every cast member with a surprising virtuosity of singing from the dancers and dancing from the singers.
The full orchestra was a wonderful surprise, they were an asset to the show, never overpowering, and the actors never struggled to be heard over them, their voices floating easily above them. Tempo was never an issue as the show sailed along in perfect time.
Had this been merely a concert of the show, I doubt that the music could have been better, but it was so much more than that, with a richness of humor and surprises at every turn that made this Mel Brooks comedy, written in the old style of theatrical comedy fly by.
This is perhaps an excellent moment to talk about the virtually perfect tech and the amusing and clever scene changes all guided under the magnificent prowess of Stage Manager Dani Klosowskiwho kept the show running like a fine tuned Swiss watch. Since the back stage area of the show was undoubtedly busier than O'Hare at Thanksgiving, Klosowski and her crew deserve immense credit for brining off the amazing number of cast movements, sound and lighting cues, scene changes, prop and actor maneuverings and the thousands of little backstage details and riots that happen backstage, that must happen every night, so that what we saw on stage happens without a flaw.
The dance sequence after DeBris is signed up may be in the script, or it may have been improvised as a nod to the Mambo scene in Guys and Dolls, in any case it was a howl and covered effortlessly a scene change between DeBris' house and Bialystocks’ office with fun and esprit. Moments like this made the show fly by with fun and imagination. Keep your eye on who pulls those curtains though, I promise, it will be worth it. The sets and lighting were magnificent with too many touches to go on without spoiling the effect. But the big numbers were big and beautiful because of them. Robert Hamel’s sets deserve all the kudos they got after the show.
Other unsung Tech and Production Staff Heroes?
• Technical Director - Vlad Novikov • Master Carpenter - Grant Wenger • Scenic Designer - Bob Hamel • Lighting Designer - Chelsea Lynn • Sound Designer - Tom Scanlon • Accompanist - Kelli Shibuya • Props Coordinator - Michelle McDonagh • Publicity - Phaedra Wells • Production Assistant - Lindsey Weiss
(Anyone willing to type in the orchestra into a comment, please let me know!)
So, now you have a decision to make. Do you say to yourself, wow, what a review! Too bad I can’t go? Or do you pick up the phone and make a reservation? I can only urge you to go. It’s on your conscious now, but I’ll leave you with this thought.
I've been less consistent about writing this blog lately because of a massive back injury that has me in constant pain. I don’t usually mention it because while in comedy pain is funny, listening to whining about it is pathetic and boring. But I’ll tell you this, after 4 years of constant merciless pain ranging from 3-9 on a 10 point scale, I’m always in some level of discomfort. Always. So I was expecting to see this show after such a long ride through a wall full of misery and have to upgrade my opinion to compensate for the agony.
I'm not sure when the laughter became so overwhelming that I forgot my misery and just enjoyed the show, then became overwhelmed with laughter and was anesthetized by it completely, but the effects of the joy and laughter lasted through two acts, some talking with the cast, crew and audience after, the whole 35 mile trip home, and for several hours later, a painless interlude for which the cast and crew have now earned my undying friendship. It's literally been years since I've felt this good. Thank you for that. It might not be a miracle, but the laughs you gave me were the best over the stage medicine I’ve had in a long time.
Thank you to all concerned. If I left you out of this review, my profound apologies, just leave me a note and I will correct it. I hope to add the names of the musicians at a later date for the record.
Correction 10/15/08 Jodi Buczek tells me that I accidentally omitted the awesome Samantha Giovannetti. Probably not the first time someone has made the Giannelli/Giovannetti mistake during this production. I have still to clear up whether "Sam" was also one of the Usherettes. Nicole who I first gave that credit to is a brunette where as Sam is a blonde. I distinctly remember a blonde Usherette. But, was that a wig? So many mysteries. Guess I will just have to go back and see the show again. Corrections like this are most gratefully received.
Correction 10/16/08 Stage Manager and Technical Staff accidentally omitted were re-added to the review. Also on the cutting room floor. My sister had a baby this week, what can I say?
1. A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on when using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late. 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies. 10. Certain Lego pieces will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy. 11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12. Super glue is forever. 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15. VCRs do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. 20. The fire department in our town has a 5-minute response time. 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22. It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24. If you absolutely MUST know what that odor is, try looking under the radiator covers for last year's easter eggs. Hopefully they will only be one year old. 25. Get you kids in the habit of hiding only plastic easter eggs for their easter egg hunts. The decorated ones make a bad mess. The raw eggs make a bad, disgusting and smelly mess that never goes away if there is the slightest gap in your floorboards. Your only alternative: Move. 26. Now that glass soda bottles seem to be making a return: never, ever, under any circumstances, store unopened glass soda bottles in the car near any of your children's feet. Unless your spouse is a lawyer. 27. A four-year-old child can resort to hiding his favorite toy at the top of a 40-foot tree over a glass strewn alley if pressed. Do not yell at him while he is at the top of the tree. 28. When in *nice* restaurants watch your children like hawks if you see them touch things like salt and pepper shakers, mustard and ketchup bottles. 28. The sound of a 7-year-old girl who has gotten ketchup all over her white easter dress after her brother played with the top does not bear describing. 29. If you hear the sounds "white whale, white whale" coming from your pool or the lake you are staying near, it is already too late, your children's butts have already been exposed to the sun for anyone nearby to see. 30. When changing a child's diaper at a very large public venue, such as a concert at Grant Park in Chicago, it is helpful if your picnic blanket is not at the top of the largest hill in view. That way if your little girl gets away from you sans clothes, the chances that she will run to the top of the hill spinning like Maria Von Trapp for the entire Midwest to admire during the quietest part of Peter and the Wolf, will be substantially reduced. Duct tape helps too. 31. It may take more than one police search of your house to find a child asleep in a clothes basket in a bedroom closet. 32. Even the second time she disappears, and that's the first place everyone looked. 33. Two adults are not enough to capture a child hiding under a baby grand piano. 34. The travel time before it is impractical to drive a child hidden in their friend's car so that the parents are forced to let them stay overnight at their friends is one hour. Fortunately, the time a child can stay quiet in the back-back seat of a station wagon is usually less than 10 minutes. 35. War between kid brothers usually stops just before an actual serious injury involving death occurs. Numerous trips to the hospital for stitches are normal and should be considered usual growing up pains. 36. If during the summer, a sister turns her brother's hair bright orange, he is entitled to put a screen over her while she sunbathes asleep to give her a checkered tan - once. This will remind her not to fall asleep sunbathing which is dangerous anyway. 37. It does not matter how slowly or gently you loft it, a softball thrown with enough umph to reach the 2nd floor back porch, has enough umph, to float ever so gently through the plate glass window of the 2nd floor back porch door. 38. When handing your son a brand new generator saying "don't drop this, it's expensive", its a good idea to be sure he is not watching the neighbor girl walk by in short shorts or it will wind up broken on the ground when he drops it. 39. If you work at summer camp and sleep on a metal cot, avoid running the electric wires for your alarm clock under the sharp round feet of your bed lest "Sparky" become your new camp nickname. (The mattress pads were rubber thank God.) 40. When rolling the world's largest snowball off the flat roof of your school onto the first person who opens the side door, its a good idea to have a spotter so that you don't drop it on the principal. 41. The demonstration of Mike's Civil War Fort would have been perfect. The buildings were perfect reconstructions, he had even mixed his own black powder and poured it through and between the non-flammable buildings to show how one of the forts would have been torched. As the fire went through building to building his one mistake became evidently clear. His non-flammable materials were plastic straws. As billowing clouds of black smoke poured out of the school windows we out out the three foot flames in seconds, but by then 2 companies of fire trucks were on the way. The smoke filling the second floor of our school. We were dismissed for the day. Mike was a hero. Not for nothing did Mike have the reputation of being the smartest boy in school. Seen as an honest mistake, he didn't even get in trouble since the teacher let him start the fire. Brilliant. 42. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. 43. 90% of the Women who read this will start checking the tightness of ketchup containers wherever they go.
My thanks to AMR for sending this to me. You can be a contributor too. Just send me an email at thepeterfilesblog at gmail dot com or put your joke in a comment and I can include it in a post of its own. Just tell me how you would like to be recognized, or not. In this post I was responsible for number 23 on plus a few more. So I know those really happened. The rest, well they certainly had the ring of truth, now didn't they?
I don't often engage in post production reviews, but in the case of the Beverly Theatre Guild's one weekend production of Ken Ludwig's Moon Over Buffalo, the production was so fine, the acting so outrageous and sublime, that for the benefit of future audiences in the area who often have only a one or two weekend run to see a BTG show, I felt that it was worth the effort to tell you what a marvelous gut-wrenching laugh riot you probably missed this weekend at Chicago's Beverly Art Center at 111th and South Western Avenue.
I've taken the liberty of reproducing parts of the program so that if you recognize the names of these actors in listings of productions in local papers in the future you know that you should make the effort to toddle on down to the theater to see them in action.
There wasn't a single performance that wasn't worth seeing in this extremely well directed production by director Tobi Lowrance with assistance from Assistant Director Francesca Scalzi who took a great script updated it with a combination of new and veteran actors and crafted a fast-moving and emotionally moving comedy and farce of high order.
Moon Over Buffalo, the story of 1950's couple George and Chalotte Hay, the touring repertory family company stars of the style of the Lunts, the Barrymores, or the Zimablists, who displaced by film and television, find the profitablility of the road touring companies drying up and their way of life dissapearing. They are facing the possibility of fiancial and relationship ruin when they get a phone call suggesting that film director Frank Capra will be in the Matinee audience of the day's show to see if George is fit to take over the lead of his new film, just as he has lost two of his own essential players.
The BTG's production was a door-slaming, sword-fighting, knee-to-groin below the belt guffaw generator of the highest or lowest order, depending on how you look at it. Joe Collins as George and Meg Massaro as Charlotte under the direction of Lowrance and Scalzi make us wonder sometimes if the War of the Roses was kid stuff as Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner did not play people who had the whole repetoire of classic theatre to fight, kick, scratch, curse and make asses of themselves with.
Both actors tender the performances of their lives with split-second timing, perfect delivery, no fear of looking foolish in either of them, both hungerly seeking the comic truth in each and every moment of the show, yet at the same time, they show that the other side of hate is deep and abiding love, not indifference, and the changes both George and Charlotte go through during the course of the show, as they beat by beat avoid the easy way out of each line or moment in the show, and provide the audience with richness and emotional truth instead in a way that is stunningly honest and laughingly true.
Massaro and Collins are perfectly matched. Massaro's antics reminded me of Carol Burnett with a kind of subtle restraint while prancing across the stage in antics of anger, hostility and rapturous joy, that make her highs more realistic and just as funny as Burnett.
Collins, known widely as the voice of WBBM's traffic reports, and a community theatre veteran, gives what is perhaps the best and most challenging performance of his life. An expert in physical and character comedy, Collins is forced to add the romance of Romeo, the pathos of lear, the errors of Falstaff, and the drunken blindness of Stanley and Merrythought.
As George plunges though the stormy seas of this farce, swooping up and down, driven by the winds of fate, opportunity, his own stupidity, and the heights of fortune and misfortune, instead of a farcicle charade of a man, Collins gives us a man complete, torn by the pain he has brought to those he loves, wracked and ruined by remorse, blindly attempting to get on with it anyway, until at last our everyman falls, the great fall and lands as low as any man can, worse yet, in front of an icon of his dreams, the key to his future. Neitzsche or Kafka could not have planned it so well.
At this point in the show, many actors, would allow the script in hand to carry him on, riding on it to safely breezing through to the end; but Collins takes emotional risks in keeping with his growing maturity as an actor, baring his emotions in a way that gives Massaro room to do the same. So at the end of the farce, instead of a lighthearted wrapping up of ends a la Charley's Aunt, we have the two confronting the pain and trauma they have endured in their lives together and grow, together, changed by the ordeal they have suffered, to become someone new while remaining to themselves true.
Breathtaking and moving. I wish you could have been there. Watch for the cast in other productions.
Their daughter Roz, played by Lisa Marie Marciano and her estranged ex-boxfriend Paul played by Lorenzo Blackett are forcefully thrust together by the circumstances of the day in which Roz had only intended to introduce her new fiance Howard, played by David Korzatkowski to her parents, but is sucked back in to the chaos of the day by the disappearance of the production's Ingenue Eileen, played by Tiffani M. Moore. Marciano and Blackett are wonderfully cast and provide both a dramatic and, it must be said, very steamy, dramatic tension, that adds to the sweetness of the farce. Korzatkowski and Moore both bring and empty headed playfulness to their roles that crank up the tension, humor, and guffaws at just the right time. Like Collins,Massaro, Marciano and Blackett, Korzatkowski has an incredible sense of physical comedy, perhaps equal to that of Joe Collins who's own mastery of the physical comedic art form stops the show at three or four points, minimum.
In fact, it should be noted, that in the performance that I saw, Collins was so funny, that his last antic at the end of a scene in Act II, caused a second wave of laughter to start well after the blackout, as the audience re-visualized what they had seen him do just before the lights went out. Something I have never seen in 45 years of theater. A new spontaneous wave of laughter spreading through the audience while sitting in the darkness, starting a good 15 seconds after the lights went out, without a smart alec comment to trigger it. Unbelievable. Joe was just THAT funny.
Rick Baker was also excellent and very believable as Richard, the love-struck friend who wishes to steal Charlotte away from George and their near poverty and terrible traveling conditions. Presaging the aging baby-boom romanic love interest, Baker is suave, debonair, and quite convincing a someone who George could perceive as a threat to take away the woman he truly loves, Charlotte because of a moments weakness.
In every farce of this caliber there has to be a foil that comes in and out delivering sharp lines to skewer the leads. In this show it is Ethel, Charlotte's mother and the bane of George's existence played by South Side theater veteran Jan Dignan. Saying just how long Dignan has been treading he boards out here with her sister Choch would be telling. But this is truly one of her best performances and she plays the part of the wiley, cantankerous mother and seamstress with joy, verve and cunning nastiness and with a great deal of depth. One of her best performances as well and I have seen many of them.
So why did I love this show so much. I've given you a good deal of plot, but nothing that would make you laugh I think. That's because a great deal of the humor comes directly from the acting and directing in the show. It has to stand as one of the funniest shows I have ever seen (that of course I have not been in myself...).
I laughed hard and long and so did the rest of the audience. There were constant surprises. Hardly a line went wrong. The timing and tension required to keep the show moving was constantly upheld. Nary a line was swallowed. The pacing was fabulous and the cast seemed to know JUST How long to hold for a laugh to allow the audience to laugh.
And the show moved fast. A credit to the actors and directors. With intermissions the show ran well under two hours. It easily could have run 20 minutes longer with a less experienced cast. Lowrance and Scalzi seemed to have an instinct for getting the best out of their cast, using their strenghts to their best advantage.
Moore for example, the ingenue with something extra, who causes a huge fuss between George and jealous Charlotte, plays the wide-eyed innocent with aplomb until the time comes to reveal that she has more underneath than some had suspected and she gets exactly what she wants. Played to a t.
Blackett's performance as the frenetic manager and lover, and a much more determined lover than able manager, is a perfect foil to George as George freaks out, (Woody Allen on steroids without the accent), In his unique non-George way Blackett panics about whole groups of issues, but not when it comes to Roz. His changes when it comes to Roz are as surprising and funny, as they are tempting and disturbing to Roz's confidence in her engagement. Paul is after all, looking for an engagement of another kindl For a moment we think we are about to see another show altoghether when a plot element breaks the two apart before anything really good happens. Whew! It had been getting hot in there.
Marciano's conflicts as the daughter in search of normality, trying to break away from the perpetual craziness of her parent's life is also compelling, except, when disaster strikes, she is sucked back into it all to easily.
Credit must go of course to the writer of this gem, Ken Ludwig, who captured so well the essence of the times and the desires of those who wished to grasp fame and maintain their life on stage before it melted away.
So, were this show to go another weekend, which it cannot, sadly, I would have soundly recommended it. Instead, the best I can do is say, remember the actors, and the directors, and the group, the Beverly Theatre Guild, one of Chicago's oldest community theater groups.
Next Season BTG Plans to produce: The Irish drama Dancing at Lughnasa by Brian Friel, October 24-26, 2008 The Musical The Full Monty by Terrance McNally and David Yazbek, February 6-9,2009 The Comedy Twentieth Century by Ken Ludwig, May 8-10th, 2009
You can print the form on this page to order season tickets and save $12 or more on ticket prices.
Hot Trash From the Audience: There was speculation about how full the monty would be for the full monty, and a few jokes in the audience about whether we would want to see some of our friend's montied at all. I assured those I sat with that I was not intending to audition as I wanted to help BTG build an audience rather than send them running to the exits, possibly scarred for life. More on that when they get closer to the production next year.
I am tired after being wired from the excitement of a great production so I hope the cast and you will forgive any typos herein. As always if you have a theatre production in the Chicago/NW Indiana Region to Promote send me the information well in advance to "Thepeteterfilesblog" At "Gmail" Dot "Com" and I will be happy to post what I can.
It helps a lot if you give me something in ready to post format. If you have pictures, especially at a website that I can link to, give me the links, or send me the photos as attachments and I will be glad to post what I can. As time has passed I do get quite a bit of response from actors knowing quite a few of them myself.
Finally, congratulations to the whole cast and crew of Moon over Buffalo. While I spent more time on Collins and Massaro, a production this complex does not succeed without incredible coordination and effort both onstage and backstage, a true ensemble effort. A.D. Scalzi was also the Stage Manager for the show, something she has a gift for. The show has a nightmarish number of entrances and exits, yet she looked calm and collected before the performance. The tech for the show was also perfect and the sets by Emil Zbella were also superb (as always Emil).
With a yummy brunch included. The Spectacular Beverly Theatre Guild, Beverly Hills Oldest Performing Arts Group invites you and your Mom and Grandmother to their Brunch and Show Treat on Mother's Day at 11:00 am at the Garden Chalet 11100 South Ridgeland followed by a 2pm performance of the Hilarious Hilarious Comedy Moon Over Buffalo at the Brand new Beverly Arts Center 111th and Western Avenue.
Brunch Space is limited so call 708-361-0400 today!
Stop the drinking the 97 Octane Shots during Happy Hour at Stumpy's Truck Stop and Redneck Bar.
Get American Automakers to rethink that whole - "Naw, only geeks would buy electric cars" idea.
Slot machines and dice tables on all public buses and trains to build transit use and create homes for permanent moving craps games.
Baywatch Babes on all Transit Cards.
Cars to have solar panels and sails. Auto foredecks for bikini sunbathing still under debate. While this measure will slow traffic, it may cause accidents.
Give up on Pappy Reagan's idea of not aiding Transit Operations funding with Federal Operations Dollars. The idea to cut Federal Operating Existence was a terrible one then (late 1980's) and it is one now. The theory was that states would pick up the difference, but they did not, at least not in proportion to the funds that were eliminated. The difference in the Chicago region in the years since the cuts is well over a Billion Dollars and climbing.
So instead, our own federal Government drove millions of people off transit and into toxic emitting autos. Wonder if the auto industry lobbyists had anything to do with that idea?
Moving people in large urban areas to public transportation, preferably hydrogen buses, is an extremely cost-effective way, to reduce toxic emissions, reduce asthma causing smog, and reduce greenhouse gasses.
My dad sent my visiting cousin to bed. Five minutes later....
"Uncle Pete...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Uncle Pe-eete....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll toss you in the shower!!"
Five minutes later......"Uncle Pe-ete....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to toss me in the shower, can you bring a drink of water?"
My cousin didn't believe that she would actually get tossed in the shower. She didn't know my Dad well enough to know that he did not make idle threats.
When he held the tip-top of her head under the lukewarm water for 1/10th of a second she screamed like a banshee. Then he gave her the drink of water. On the second night of her overnight stay she drank enough water to satisfy herself before she went to bed.
Based on a true story.
What she was actually doing was talking too much when we were supposed to be asleep. I edited an old joke which had a funnier format. She got at least 8 warnings before splash. Man was it funny. We would have laughed out loud but we would have been next and we knew it. But there was an awful lot of very hard to suppress snickering for the next hour.
How to Prepare for an Audition – Imperfect Notes for the Beginner Scribbled Quickly From My Own Experience
It is generally agreed by professionals like myself that Panic is the first step to a great audition. True, this is counter-intuitive. You do not want your high level of panic to show at the audition, but a high level of panic right up to the point that you get into the car on the way to the audition itself can be a most helpful motivator.
Note the importance of losing your panic before getting into a car on the way to the audition itself, in fact before driving any auto vehicle at any time prior to the audition. In fact, where available, taking public transportation to an audition can help relieve pre-audition stress. Call 836-7000 for directions in the Chicago Region for CTA, Pace and Metre. Beverly Art Center, for example is served by all three!
I have noted that severe auto accidents often undermine the confidence of those auditioning and directors alike with worries of self-termination prior to the actual performance date and quite talented people are sometimes over looked at auditions for this reason.
“Kumquats! I’d cast him, but in the Scottish play he almost got his arm cut off and he didn’t even have a sword, in Sweeny Todd he managed to slide down the Barber Chair Head first and we’re doing Pirates of Penzance here, no, I can’t risk it. And he’s a great Tenor. If I could just suspend him in a box above the stage. Hmmn, Maybe…. From such maybes have come some of he stages greatest on stage fiascos. Note: Gender and Facts changed above in the interests of fairness and to protect my life.
Getting the script is the next big step. Once you have it, often available from the producer for community theater productions for a deposit, you can figure out, within reason, if there are any parts in the show for you at all.
I am not going to try to define “within reason” here. So often directors are stuck in “Auditions" with the "this is all I get to work with?" situation such that you may get to play 40 years older or younger than your actual ace, especially in a musical, if you have the notes. More likely, the director will look for a ringer, but the bigger the cast, the better your chances, especially when multiple shows are casting at the same time. I still don’t know why production companies do this, but often in an area production companies will create chaos by holding auditions within days of each other. This always works to the actor’s advantage and never to the producer’s as this allows actors to pick and choose between offered parts and this messes up the "pretty pictures" producers made on the stage when casting.
Having a realistic idea of what you are really likely to be cast for will help you a lot. The best way to get this sense of reality is to work with a really good friend, an acting teacher of vocal coach who will be honest with you. Brital honest is critically important. Not the kind you see in the American Idol pre-shows.
All my friends say I'm really a great singer so I thought I would screech my way through The Facts of Life Theme Sng on National Television.
That kind of honesty you don't need unless its backed up by an agent.
Acting is a skill, practice and exposure to people who are really good at it will really help you, IF, you pay attention to them without being a pest. I have learned far more from the people I have worked with over the years than from any book.
If you are preparing for a musical, you need to prepare a song in your vocal range and be ready to sing it in time to the music. The music director may change the time of the music to see if you handle it well or poorly and can work with an orchestra that may get away from him.
But first things first, if you are a low alto, don’t audition for a high soprano part just because you have always wanted to play that part. The music director will strongly resist having the song done an octave lower except in very exceptional chances.
How do you find out your vocal range? The musical director at a community theater audition will help you a little. But for lead roles you usually need to have been working with a vocal coach.
Vocal coaches do not have to be hugely expensive. But $20-$30 a half hour, every week is not out of line on the south side. Ask the good singers who they use. They probably have the best coaches. Try to get an appointment. If you know nothing about sight reading music they may reject you, then ask for a reference for a real beginner who will tolerate this, or ask for “emergency help” for one audition and they may, may take pity on you.
Above all else a vocal coach should start by:
Teaching you how to protect your voice;
Teaching you how to breath correctly;
Teaching you about your range and what songs are in it;
If your vocal coach does not start with the first two immediatly, especially in winter, ask why not and be prepared to fire them right away if it is not a very good answer. Finding your range might come first, but protecting your voice is paramount, you can ruin it through improper vocal training and if your vocal coach does not know how to protect against this you need to move on, immediately.
Analyze the scrip to try to figure out what scenes the director might choose for auditions and learn these first, but try to become really familiar with as much of the script as possible. Look for scenes where a lot of the characters are on stage at once. The cast parades: the director needs to see how the whole cast looks together. If you are a shorter person in one of these, wear a hat and heels as you go up. If tall, flats and no hat. Little things help. Dpn't do dumb showy things to get attention, trust me, I've tried, they don't work.
Look for little intense scenes between the characters you think you want to play and the main characters they compete against, who is often but not always the same gender. To borrow from Michael Shurtlief’s excellent book “The Audition” (buy in paperback, its cheap) always ask in any scene, ask “What is your character fighting for?” Then fight for it. Hard. Even if you've gotten the what the character should be fighting for wrong, if nothing else it makes for a fiesty scene and proves you won’t be boring on stage if you get the part. Directors often like surprising and feisty interpretations of work that are seriously done. It means the actor has done some serious thinking about the work and might be fun to work with, a serious plus in most directors worth working with. Yes, Virgina, there are a very few directors not worth working with. If you are lucky and are in the scene with someone very good, your fighting for method will give them something to play off of. Listen to what they are sending you and build off it, incorporate it, the emotions, etc, and bring the level of tension and stakes of the scent up, not down.
Working really well with someone, anyone in a scene can help you get the part. Your goal is always to get some part, not a specific part. Besides, you never know who the director has really picked for the lead, it is often not obvious. I've been in shoes where the director picked a young woman as the lead but only read her in minor parts, but with every other potential member of the cast. He knew how good she was already, not everyone else. He learned a lot by how people worked with her compared to the "obvious" lead candidates and the resulting cast complely surprised everyonel. The director cast those who worked well with everyone, especially his lead. Of course, most directors are not this devious.
So don't agonise too much how you are doing in any one audition, or lie and die on any one audition. Its just not healthy. As time goes on, the right parts will come to you with experience. Especially as you build a reputation for reliability and stability from show to show which are very important.
That’s all I have time for now. OH. Ues.
Remember not to panic IN the audition. The producers want you to succeed and you to show yourself off at your most calm and professional best. They want to see what you can really do and are hoping that YOU will be the surprise star that they are looking for. And you just might be. And don’t forget to have a little fun, your audition audience may be larger than some of the real audiences you get, sorry to say. And, more receptive, because they are sweating as much as you are. That is, if the producers let the others see you. That's an issue in and of itself.
2008 New Year’s Resolutions For The Peter Files Blog of Comedy
It may be January 2nd, but it's still not too late to make New Year’s resolutions for the blog, after all, with 365 days left to go, ‘tis a leap year don’t you know, the year is still a babe in arms. I always give myself till February or March for my own personal resolutions anyway, so I reserve the right to consider these resolutions in draft like everyone else I know. (See end of post for my most important personal resolution that I aim to keep).
1. We resolve to depend less on postings about celebrities, if you can call them that, such as Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Britney and her rapidly expanding sister Jamie, or is it Jamie-Marie Spears, Donald Trump, George Bush, Hillary Clinton, Barrack Obama, the entire Republican presidential slate, Ann Coulter, Bill Maher, the Iowa Caucus, Super Duper I'm not going to stay up on Tuesday, the Hollywood writer’s strike, Rambo, Indiana Jones, Disney, Sweeny Todd and Michael Jackson – in no particular order. Nope, I’m not going to do it this year just to get extra hits, its unsavory, even if people like to see their favorite celebrity names in print with words like altercation, cell phone, drunk driving, ran over some one, child endangerment, community service, mispronunciation, alcohol abuse, War on Intelligence, I’m Going Back to Louisiana, Louisiana Here I come, Most Katrina Victims Still Not Paid, Gas Prices up again, Inflation Rate Soars with Fold Prices and Home Mortgage Rates, Another Panty Raid in Hollywood, Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan Cast in Creature of the Black Lagoon and no one shows up at press conference but Joan Rivers and Richard Simmons and Tonight Show Intern, and Party of the Rich and Greedy Exposed - Exhaustive University Study Reveals it to Be Republicans Not Democrats as Republican Study Funders had hoped. No. tempting as it is to generate traffic by appealing to such low brow tactics to generate traffic, I’m not going to do that in 2008. What’s that? Oops, I did it again. I guess that resolution will have to wait till next year. 2. Well how about this? I will avoid taking bad email jokes that people send me and re-writing them so that they are spelled and punctuated correctly, make sense and are actually funny. No, I get too much material that way. Sorry. But if you have something funny, send it in to me by just dropping it in a comment to any post and if its funny, or can be made to be funny with reasonable editing effort I’ll make it its own post and give you as much credit as you desire from anonymous, to initials to your full name. Do this enough times and you could become a Peter Files BloC of Comedy blog Assistant Editor with lots of cool privileges. 3. Finding a Blog Assistant Editor is a major Resolution. 4. Depending less on YouTube videos unless you think they are very funny and an essential part of the blog. Tell me. 5. Getting to the point where there is a LOT less ad space. 6. Making a decision on age content level, are we too “safe for work and home”, perhaps an age poll is needed. I have used certain relatives as the content test bar. I could switch which relatives I use (Younger and less mature ones) but then, would I lose you at work> 7. Figuring out whether you want more of my completely original postings which would appear less frequently, less of, more content wherever it comes from, or whether you don’t care because so many of you find this blog accidentally and either move on, or bookmark it and return or not depending on what happens to be that day. 8. If the latter is the case should I just put changing photos of a kitten, a puppy, a dinosaur, and a baby (Changing daily, in each corner of the blog?) 9. I have not been pointing to cool internet sites lately, I am thinking of resolving to bring that feature back.
Well that’s the draft list of resolutions and questions. The photos of puppies, cats, babies and dinosaurs is in no real danger of coming off – or is it? Best comment if you hate the idea. Maybe I will do some polls in the next few weeks. They will be somewhat important in directing the future of this blog.
I must be doing something right. Hits December 2006 – December 2007 doubled. With growth pretty steady across the world. So please keep spreading the word to friends and neighbors by using the envelope at the bottom of the page. Feel free to send a post to yourself and then send it to everyone in your address book THAT YOU REALLY KNOW AND HAVE A REALATIONSHIP WITH recommending this blog. Or find a really funny safe post including the site web site at the top or bottom and post it on the office bulleting board.
Then tell me what you did. Maybe I can find a special way to honor someone who generates a lot of hits from the same server of servers. And of course, while you visit any blog, it never hurts to right click an ad.
10. Oh, And the Peter Files Blog Editor is going to lose another 30 pounds this year. He did it last year. Really. The one goal he really expects to make for sure this year.
May your year be happy and more full of peace than last year. If you lacked peace work for justice. If you see injustice, work for peace.
Smile at someone today, the person you smile at has feelings - just as you do and will welcome the reassureance that the world can be a friendlier place!
And now the video and point in history that many of us have been waiting 7+ years for, the Lame Duck portion of George W. Bush's Presidency, heretofore commemorated by the Obama Girl's video hit You're So Lame (You Probably Think This Song is About You) smash hit parody of the Carly Simon Hit You're So You're So Vane (You Probably Think This Song is About You) (You Probably Think This Song is About You).
A main difference between the two videos, other than the richness of Carly's voice and the higher quality of the original lyrics, is that the original lyrics hide the identity of the target of the song which adds a sense of universality to it, which was only later removed years later when the subject was obstensibly, I believe, to have been revealed as Warren Beatty.
In this version, the politically oriented Obama girls leave no doubt as to whom they believe is the lame duck in the Presidential hot seat, or cold seat, sitting as duck flambe.
But, we have to wonder, to what degree is the song true? Does Bush still have enough influence as benefit to do quite a lot of damage to the nation before leaving office? Is he really lame? Or is this video merely wishful thinking. Surely a Bush endorsement might carry a good deal of weight at a Republican convention, particularly if Daddy Bush was also on Bush was also onboard.
So am I carrying this video to convince you to vote Democrat next fall. Well no, the girls are really cute and the song is funny. Also, they catch a sitting president making an interesting finger movc that I think is unbecoming of a sitting president. Call it "Fingergate" but I don't think a sitting President of the United States should be dong such things in public. It's just a bad example.
Here's the video. Comments welcome. Good and bad. Just no swearing, please. You can be anonymous if you like.
Truth in blog writing here. If you take advantage of this sale, through these ads it will benefit the blog. But, half off these comedy TV series DVD's and sets is worth writing about. So I am.
Note that the prices shown are updated live, so when the sale ends they will be right, but no longer look like a bargain. That will probably be around, well, I don't know when, could be Monday, could be Thanksgiving.
So, what do we have listed there, half off the season sets for The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Bob Newhart Show, That '70's Show, King of the Hill, Futurama, Scrubs, and a bunch of other stuff. I added a Looney Tunes link though that wasn't on the list just because its a great set.
Now, have I bought these yet? Nope. But except for King of the Hill you can consider this a wish list of sorts. I have some of the new Doctor Who, Batman and Superman on the list ahead of these. Alias season three too, etc. But, these are in there. That's why I picked them.
If I have time, I will do more posts on these between now and Christmas, unless I get a lot of comments saying that these are not helpful. In the mean time if you want to see the full listings of the Amazon Discs on sale at the 50% rate, just click on any ad above and the listing at Amazon should give you an option to see the others as long as the sale is going.
The individual season DVD's should take you to the list of 100 50% of DVD's, about 4 pages long, and the sets should take you to the discount set list.
If you have a lot of Christmas shopping to do, maybe this will be a help!
I've started to get more and more readers coming into my Chicago Bears and Super Bowl Pages, so I thought I would do a new page for all of you. The season isn't over till its over, right?
To get some good Bears vibes going, I thought I would bring you back to THE season, at least for me, the one which still get my heart moving whenever I think of it.
The year was 1985. The City was Chicago. Super Bowl madness was on us all.
This was the year we all thought, that the bears would be unstoppable and take it all.
This would be the year that the bears would win the Super Bowl.
And for once we were right. We just didn't know it yet.
It was the year of "Winning Ugly".
The year where the Bears would seem to hibernate until the third or fourth quarter then come back to win the game.
A year when even a defense player nicknamed Refrigerator could score a touchdown.
It was the year of the Super Bowl Shuffle and Ditka was da Coach.
The Super Bowl Shuffle (Words provided so that you can sing along with the Bears now - hear? So sing by golly! Sing! Oh, press play, then sing, O.K. Mr. Wisenheimer?) Chorus We are the Bears' Shufflin' Crew Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you We're so bad, we know we're good Blowin' your mind, like we knew we would You know we're just struttin' for fun Struttin' our stuff for everyone We're not here to start no trouble We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle
Walter Payton Well, they call me Sweetness, and I like to dance Runnin' the ball, is like makin' romance We've had the goal since training camp To give Chicago a Super Bowl Champ And we're not doin' this because we're greedy The Bears are doin' it to feed the needy We didn't come here looking for trouble We just came here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle
Willie Gault This is Speedy Willie, and I'm world class I like runnin', but I love to get the pass I practice all day, and dance all night I got to get ready for the Sunday fight Now, I'm as smooth as a chocolate swirl I dance a little funky, so watch me girl There's no one here that does it like me My Super Bowl Shuffle will set you free
Mike Singletary I'm Samurai Mike; I stop' em cold Part of the defense, big and bold I've been jammin' for quite a while Doin' what's right, and settin' the style Give me a chance, I'll rock you good Nobody messin' in my neighborhood I didn't come here lookin' for trouble I just came to do the Super Bowl Shuffle
Repeat Chorus
Jim McMahon I'm The Punky QB, known as McMahon When I hit the turf, I've got no plan I just throw my body all over the field I can't dance, but I can throw the feel I motivate the cats, I like to tease I play so cool, I aim to please That's why you all got here on the double To catch me doin' the Super Bowl Shuffle
Otis Wilson I'm Mama's Boy Otis, one of a kind The ladies all love me for my body and my mind I'm as slick on the floor as I can be But ain't no sucker gonna get past me Some guys are jealous of my style and class That's why some end up on their (whistle) I didn't come here lookin' for trouble I just came down to do the Super Bowl Shuffle
Steve Fuller They say Jimbo is our man If Jimmy can't do it, I sure can This is Steve, and it's no wonder I run like lightnin', pass like thunder So bring on Atlanta, bring on Dallas This is for Mike, and Papa Bear Halas I'm not here to feather his ruffle I just came here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle
Mike Richardson I'm L.A. Mike, and I play it cool They don't sneak by me, 'cause I'm no fool I fly on the field and get on down Everybody knows I don't mess around I can break 'em, shake 'em, any time of day I like to steal it, and make 'em pay Please don't try to beat my hustle 'Cause I'm just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle
Repeat Chorus
Richard Dent The Sackman's comin', I'm your man Dent If the Quarterback's slow, he's gonna get bent We stop the run, we stop the pass I like to dump guys on their (whistle) We love to play for the world's best fans You better start makin' your Super Bowl plans But don't get ready, or go to any trouble Unless you practice the Super Bowl Shuffle
Gary Fencik It's Gary here, and I'm Mr. Clean They call me "Hit Man"; don't know what they mean They throw it long, and watch me run I'm on my man, one-on-one Buddy's guys cover it down to the bone That's why they call us "The 46 Zone" Come on, everybody, let's scream and yell We're goin' to do the Shuffle, then ring your bell
William Perry You're lookin' at the Fridge; I'm the rookie I may be large, but I'm no dumb cookie You've seen me hit, you've seen me run When I kick and pass, we'll have more fun I can dance, you will see The others, they all learn from me I didn't come here lookin' for trouble I just came here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle
Repeat Chorus
So there you have it. Hope you rapped along. As the '85 Bears proved neither musical nor rhythmic talent was needed to perform this gem.
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