For those of you who have been coming back of the month of August hoping to see some kind of change for the last month and finding none, my apologies. I hope you took a chance and visited out archives and found some of the treasures buried in the 600 or so posts there.
Since this is mostly a comedy blog I won't go into the details, but I could skip living through this last few months again. Deaths in the family, personal crises, illness, pain, all this kinds of things, you are not coming here for. But, things are looking up and so, I think you should be able to see a return to regular postings here.
Regular? Two to three times a week, usually in spurts.
I discovered that the RSS feed isn't working right, I have to figure out how to fix that. If yours IS working right, leave a comment and let me know. I did manage to get the comment interface working better and some other features cleaned up.
If you have a child, hug them, watch them closely if they are near the water. A young relative drowned this summer. I have a young child. The stuff of nightmares. It's been almost a month now and he effect of the support of our community on the parents has been profound as all those who feel "there but for the grace of God go I" in this situation have extended their hearts and love to them.
I know that those in our house have, and if you pray, I invite you to do so for them and any of those who have lost dear ones of any age for any reason this summer.
I also lost another friend, who was my one of my best friend's uncles. A finer kinder person you would be hard pressed to find no matter how bright a light you had to shine on the world to fine one. Wise, funny, and neat to the point of a methodological that might have driven even Felix Unger mad were it not for the kindness and gentleness in which he practiced it (he did not expect others to be able to practice what he preached, he merely enabled them gently, when they visited him).
George was an enabler of the highest and best sort. An educator, a scientist, a friend, and 'weather' he enabled the world to understand his field of science to advance in unique and powerful ways, or his colleagues and students to grow and flourish as a result of knowing him, or the world to retain works of beautiful music that might otherwise have been lost, George enabled so many to a better life in many ways.
I got to know him first when my friend, his nephew became quite seriously ill, the kind of thing that only a small percentage survived, even in the early 1980's. That my friend survived was due to his courage in being willing to participate in experimental treatment, some luck in being in the right experimental group, some gumption on his own, and the knowledge of the deep and constant support of his 'Unc' who was there for him in ways that no one else could be, not even myself - poor as a church mouse as I was at the time I could not afford to fly to Seattle to be with my friend through the bone marrow transplant and other procedures, I was only able to talk to him by phone and letter. Not good enough. But Unc was a conduit of information to me.
I was terrified that I was going to lose my best friend at the time, in fact, I was in a play called Da, by Hugh Leonard, in which the main character is diagnosed with cancer and has to deal with the approach of his death at that very time. Since it was one of the few paying gigs I had gotten I couldn't help accepting, and it was worth it too, one of the best performances I ever gave. I played the older Kearns who learns some things about himself that he wished he had not by the end of the show and goes through a complex and complete emotional breakdown on stage. A subtle bit of work that shouldn't be forced; in the end, my fears about my friend came out every night on stage.
The audiences thought I was inspired. I knew the truth. I was petrified that my best friend would die in the middle of the production and that I would be unable to continue and would never work professionally again. Through all of that time, the wires between "Unc's" house and mine, and his hotel in Seattle and mine, ran hot and heavy. He gave me updates, I gave him humor pointers for cheering up my friend. It was a conspiracy of kindness to make sure he had the kind of support he needed to survive other storms brewing around him via the females of the species.
Over the years after that, Unc became Grunc as my friend's uncle became a grand Uncle. And I got to know him and his fastidious ways better. Having dinner with him was a real treat. First of all, he was a wonderful cook. Tasty and low fat. But then, watching him clean his kitchen was like watching a man in love with it. He looked very much like Jeff Smith, once known as PBS's the Frugal Gourmet, and took great care to clean his kitchen counters fastidiously. Just....so.
Every crumb came up off the tables and counters. Every particle of dust off the floor into the dust pan. Every unwanted spec into the garbage can under the sink, and every night, without fail, Grunc would take that paper garbage bag out of its container, raise it to the counter top, fold the edges so that the creases were razor sharp and meticulously fold the top down so that there was no possibility that any part of the contents could seep out. On some occasions, if seepage might become a problem, he might add a plastic bag outside the paper bag and put another paper bag around those two, just so that they appeared neat and strong.
Then, once folded neatly and correctly, Grunc would walk the package down the hall, open the door to the utility closet leading to the garbage chute, and his package would ever so neatly descend to the bottom. If, on rare occasions, Grunc had reason to believe that his 'parcel' did not reach the bottom without 'incident' he would then feel compelled to check, by taking the elevator down to the basement and investigating the matter. More than once he found an incredible mess because the garbage contractor had failed to show up to remove the waiting container that collected the garbage that waited at the bottom of the chute.
Grunc would then call the building super who more often than not was grateful to Grunc since no one else would tell him and he would be stuck cleaning up the mess. Grunc lived in a very old, prestigious building near the Museum of Science and Industry, but it was large enough generate a lot of trash.
Some times Grunc's fastidiousness could be hard on those he loved and he knew it, but he just could not help himself. He just wanted to make things easier for people.
One time my friends sister was visiting town and had a 19 year old nanny that wanted to see some of Chicago. They knew that I had been a tour guide and I got volunteered to her around town based largely on Grunc's, not my friend's character recommendation.
Since we would be returning possibly late, (Very late, O.o) Grunc felt that we needed instruction in how to open the door quietly, and to my chagrin and the whole group's stunned amusement proceeded to give a demonstration on how to put a key into a lock and turn it. LOL
I always suspected that he was planting a subconscious idea in both our heads, but it didn't take, at least on her part (rats). But the image of Grunc, in the hallway, bent over the lock, turning sideways with his funny crooked smile, looking half up as he demonstrated the best way to put the key in the lock and turn it just - so(!) to get it to open quietly, will ever remain in my heart as the quintessential Grunc moment.
I think you will have gathered by now that I came to love this old man who let me into his life as a friend as he did not so many others. Of course it was largely due to the fact that I cared deeply for his nephew, but we were both scientists, my lab was less formal, but we talked about my work a few times and he was greatly surprised when he understood the stringency of my methodology, which for a government operation, might not have been so strict. He read a number of my papers over the years and gave helpful comments, brief, it was not his field, but helpful, mostly in that he recognized in a way that others important to me in my life could not, the meaning of some of my achievements professionally. He truly understood them.
His death came as a surprise as I knew it would. Grunc was a private person. When I knew it was coming near I made sure to send him a note that at lest hinted at my feelings. I wanted to get together with him one last time but I suspected that I had missed my window and when he was hospitalized I was not given an opportunity to visit or call him. As I went through the stages of death I was quite angry about this for at least an hour. But that passed. I know that Grunc did not want me to remember him that way and now I don't.
I compare my healthy memories of Grunc to the memories of a six-year old cousin in her coffin and I know which ones I prefer. Funerals are hard for me. Especially the funerals of children. I guess that's true for everyone. But when you are the parent of a child the same age as the deceased it hits really close to home. More than I wanted to say.
So, back to the comedy in the next post.
Peter, A little saddle-sore - but as the Jesuits say, if it doesn't kill you, it builds character.
I just want to say that this joke is not about golf. Though the second variation is sports related, sort of.
A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.
She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?"
Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is the Soldiers in your cup.'
The source for that one is a new reader who left it in a note in a yogurt cup on my back porch. In the past I have been suspicious of this souce, er source, and have not run his jokes, but this time I couldn't resist, even though it relies entirely upon having seen the circa 1970's/80's Folger's coffee commercials with jingle.
To save time, I'll just start my version of this joke. A sweet little boy surprised his older brother by laying out his brother's clothes for the next day, knowing that his brother started each day by running 10 miles as he worked up to the marathon he wanted to run soon. He was very proud of the job he had done and could hardly sleep as he waited to hear his brother's comments on the job he had done.
The next morning he was a woken to the sound of swearing in his brother's room! Oh, oh, he had bungled somehow. Timmy! What are these green soldiers doing in my athletic supporter?
I think you can finish that one yourself!
Revision: Would you call Timmie's mistake a Double bogie?
Often, as CTA riders will tell you, riding the CTA can bring you surprises from the public, both good and bad. This is the nature of public transportation, where the public is part of the show.
I have a friend of mine who is blogging who has encouraged me to add more personal experiences to my writing here, so in the spirit of this post I will mention the time I was riding the No. 72 North Avenue bus, eastbound one day, on my way to the Red line El, though then it was called something else, when a young woman wearing only the tiniest bathing suit I had ever seen decided to sit next to me on the bus. I was 22 and it was very hot on the bus that day.
She was about 8 years older and clearly out of my league and the 2 silent miles we rode together until I sadly got off for the El were ingrained in my mind for a long, long time as a very pleasant CTA surprise indeed. There are those of you who might perhaps think I lost an opportunity that day. I refer you to Joao Gilberto's version of The Girl from Ipanema and rest my case.
For those of you who think after all of the arguing about transit funding for CTA in the region that there is nothing fun about riding or being a customer of CTA, here is some proof that at least some of CTA's customers have a sense of humor.
On Saturday, January 12, 2008 a group of about 70 people participated in "No Pants 2k8 CTA Chicago" organized by a New York group called Improv Everywhere - We Cause Scenes which has hosted similar No Pants events for a number of years in New York City. In addition to NYC, this year's event has included Chicago, Boston, Portland, San Francisco, Salt Lake City, Baltimore, Toronto, Canada and Adelaide, Australia, at least so far.
The group, founded by Charlie Todd, sets up its events, or missions, through "underground operatives" organized via web postings, email, and facebook.com pages, cell phones, pagers and other methods to organize scenes which are supposed to be surprises for the general public.
So there could be more No Pants 2k8 events, in addition to the 10 already sprung before the year is out depending on response to what already has happened this year. On the other hand, the group has also sponsored many other varied missions, so who knows what its next Chicago mission will be? One can only hope that they will do something equally exciting on CTA, perhaps in nicer weather. I can't help wondering if their participation would have been greater in nicer weather.
Now before you get too excited, I should point out that all of the participants in these videos are wearing underwear. The objective of the event is not to shock observers, but to give them a laugh and a story to tell the people they know. Something to dine out on you might say. "Hey, you'll never guess what I saw on the Red Line Saturday!"
It probably won't hurt the story that most of the participants are young and good-looking either. Though anyone can participate, and that's the way it should be. If you look at the New York Video at the end, where the mission has a longer track record, you will see that the crowd is not only much larger, but much more diverse.
The first video, is the CLTV, well, coverage of the Chicago event by the local cable news outfit. I note the pun at the end that it was pretty nippy weather out there.
The second video is footage that seems to be from someone from the group, or several some-ones in the group and seems to record the journey of the train that picked up the participants station by station as the red line train they all joined proceeded back North picking them back up. During this trip, interestingly, they were joined by a few instant volunteers who got into the spirit of the event.
The group was not a rowdy group by the way. Part of the event was they all ignored each other and their own pants-less state. If anyone asked them why they were wearing no pants, they were supposed to look down and say something on the order of "Oh, I forgot!".
For and overview, here's the Today show clip talking about the national scene followed by some coverage from Boston and New York.
Here's the very funny Fox News coverage from Boston's No Pants 2k8, catch the comments by the MBTA policeman in charge of security at the end of the clip for the best laugh in the clip.
This post would not be complete without coverage from New York City where 900 people participated. This video, compiled by participants was very professionally done and has lots of priceless reactions from New Yorkers.
I can't help noticing, how clean Chicago's CTA looks after seeing this video. I think the CTA mantra of Clean, Safe, On-Time and Friendly has really paid off over the years.
I hope you enjoyed these. Lots of fun. Nice to see someone out having fun on transit.
2008 New Year’s Resolutions For The Peter Files Blog of Comedy
It may be January 2nd, but it's still not too late to make New Year’s resolutions for the blog, after all, with 365 days left to go, ‘tis a leap year don’t you know, the year is still a babe in arms. I always give myself till February or March for my own personal resolutions anyway, so I reserve the right to consider these resolutions in draft like everyone else I know. (See end of post for my most important personal resolution that I aim to keep).
1. We resolve to depend less on postings about celebrities, if you can call them that, such as Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Britney and her rapidly expanding sister Jamie, or is it Jamie-Marie Spears, Donald Trump, George Bush, Hillary Clinton, Barrack Obama, the entire Republican presidential slate, Ann Coulter, Bill Maher, the Iowa Caucus, Super Duper I'm not going to stay up on Tuesday, the Hollywood writer’s strike, Rambo, Indiana Jones, Disney, Sweeny Todd and Michael Jackson – in no particular order. Nope, I’m not going to do it this year just to get extra hits, its unsavory, even if people like to see their favorite celebrity names in print with words like altercation, cell phone, drunk driving, ran over some one, child endangerment, community service, mispronunciation, alcohol abuse, War on Intelligence, I’m Going Back to Louisiana, Louisiana Here I come, Most Katrina Victims Still Not Paid, Gas Prices up again, Inflation Rate Soars with Fold Prices and Home Mortgage Rates, Another Panty Raid in Hollywood, Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan Cast in Creature of the Black Lagoon and no one shows up at press conference but Joan Rivers and Richard Simmons and Tonight Show Intern, and Party of the Rich and Greedy Exposed - Exhaustive University Study Reveals it to Be Republicans Not Democrats as Republican Study Funders had hoped. No. tempting as it is to generate traffic by appealing to such low brow tactics to generate traffic, I’m not going to do that in 2008. What’s that? Oops, I did it again. I guess that resolution will have to wait till next year. 2. Well how about this? I will avoid taking bad email jokes that people send me and re-writing them so that they are spelled and punctuated correctly, make sense and are actually funny. No, I get too much material that way. Sorry. But if you have something funny, send it in to me by just dropping it in a comment to any post and if its funny, or can be made to be funny with reasonable editing effort I’ll make it its own post and give you as much credit as you desire from anonymous, to initials to your full name. Do this enough times and you could become a Peter Files BloC of Comedy blog Assistant Editor with lots of cool privileges. 3. Finding a Blog Assistant Editor is a major Resolution. 4. Depending less on YouTube videos unless you think they are very funny and an essential part of the blog. Tell me. 5. Getting to the point where there is a LOT less ad space. 6. Making a decision on age content level, are we too “safe for work and home”, perhaps an age poll is needed. I have used certain relatives as the content test bar. I could switch which relatives I use (Younger and less mature ones) but then, would I lose you at work> 7. Figuring out whether you want more of my completely original postings which would appear less frequently, less of, more content wherever it comes from, or whether you don’t care because so many of you find this blog accidentally and either move on, or bookmark it and return or not depending on what happens to be that day. 8. If the latter is the case should I just put changing photos of a kitten, a puppy, a dinosaur, and a baby (Changing daily, in each corner of the blog?) 9. I have not been pointing to cool internet sites lately, I am thinking of resolving to bring that feature back.
Well that’s the draft list of resolutions and questions. The photos of puppies, cats, babies and dinosaurs is in no real danger of coming off – or is it? Best comment if you hate the idea. Maybe I will do some polls in the next few weeks. They will be somewhat important in directing the future of this blog.
I must be doing something right. Hits December 2006 – December 2007 doubled. With growth pretty steady across the world. So please keep spreading the word to friends and neighbors by using the envelope at the bottom of the page. Feel free to send a post to yourself and then send it to everyone in your address book THAT YOU REALLY KNOW AND HAVE A REALATIONSHIP WITH recommending this blog. Or find a really funny safe post including the site web site at the top or bottom and post it on the office bulleting board.
Then tell me what you did. Maybe I can find a special way to honor someone who generates a lot of hits from the same server of servers. And of course, while you visit any blog, it never hurts to right click an ad.
10. Oh, And the Peter Files Blog Editor is going to lose another 30 pounds this year. He did it last year. Really. The one goal he really expects to make for sure this year.
May your year be happy and more full of peace than last year. If you lacked peace work for justice. If you see injustice, work for peace.
Smile at someone today, the person you smile at has feelings - just as you do and will welcome the reassureance that the world can be a friendlier place!
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