See "Bah Humbug" an Original Musical Version of "A Christmas Carol" Nov 29th and 30th

Event Info

See "Bah Humbug" an Original Musical Version of "A Christmas Carol" Nov 29th and 30th
Only two performances!

Since I won't be able to see Bah Humbug, I got a chance to see one of its tech rehearsals this week instead. From what I saw, the show looks to be an exciting and fun musical rendition of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol that will be fun for adults and children alike.

Staying very close to the text of the original novel, Playwright Susan Pagel's script provides an entertaining holiday trip through the trials of Miser Ebenezer Scrooge as he is confronted with his dislike of Christmas by Ghosts and Spirits of the Past, Present and Future.

I have often avoided productions of this show because I have never seen one that was not to me a re-hash of the same old story. But this production is enhanced by singing, dancing, and on-stage fiddling that makes it what could be a family favorite if discovered by a larger producer.

This is a last minute post, but if you want a fun thing to do Thanksgiving weekend, this benefit for Theater on the Move, is just what Santa ordered.

I won't try to Boss you around by saying who, it's tacky to review a show that isn't up, but this Scrooge goes through a transcendent change you won't soon forget.

Sunday, November 29, 2008 at 8:00pm
Sunday, November 30, 2008 at 3:00pm

Location:
Morgan Park Academy Arts Center
Street:
2153 W 111th Street
Chicago, IL 60643

CTA Bus: CTA Route 112
CTA Rail: Red Line to Bus 112 or Orange line to 49, 49a, and 112 EB
Metra: A few blocks west of the Metra Rock Island Beverly Branch

Reservations for open seating: 773-239-2399


Here is some more information about the show and the history of the group producing it. Thanks to the Theater on the Move publicity people for providing it:

Theater On The Move, a subsidiary of Better Entertainment Enterprises, (BEE) will be celebrating it’s 25th anniversary providing entertainment in the Southwest area with it’s musical production of “Bah Humbug!, Dickens’ Christmas Carol with Song & Prose,” at the Morgan Park Academy on November 29th and 30th. The musical tells the story of Scrooge and the four spirits who visit him on Christmas Eve, forcing him to become a more kind and charitable person, keeping the spirit of Christmas in his heart throughout the calendar year. Cast members ranging in age from 2 to 97 will present this family entertainment which was written an adapted from Dickens story by Artistic Director, Susan Pagels ( West Beverly) with musical direction by Catherine Kogut-Simon (Matteson).

Better Entertainment Enterprises (BEE) was founded in 1977 and incorporated not-for-profit in 1978. BEE operated as a touring company until 1984 when a performance and training center (Bethel Performing Art Center) was established in Evergreen Park. The space was a derelict four room parochial school building, about to be demolished, when BEE took it over. Untold hours of volunteer labor and contributions brought it up to fire code and made it a cozy black box theater. After 10 years of continuous productions, BEE found it was bursting at the seams and with the kind support from its members and numerous area businesses moved to a much larger space in Merrionette Park.

The ink was not dry on the lease when pipes bursts in the building, flooding the basement and causing several weeks delay in construction. Despite this obstacle, volunteers worked day and night to create a 300 seat dinner-theater with food services provided by their top supporter, Papa Joe’s restaurant in Oak Lawn. BEE, operated successfully for several years as Struggles Dinner Playhouse until once again, BEE incurred a name change, and became, “Theater On The Move”, traveling to spaces in Crestwood, Alsip, Blue Island and for the past few years Morgan Park Academy’s stage. Since its inception, BEE has provided an opportunity for people in the Chicago metropolitan area to partake in live theater programs.

The Company has produced over two hundred full-scale comedies, dramas and musicals. Two original education children’s productions were performed for over six hundred Chicago and suburban public schools and the theater also sponsored two citywide talent competitions and workshops in the theater arts to local Girl Scout Troops. During it’s twenty-five years of operation, it has trained over 1000 area children with varying abilities and diverse backgrounds, many of whom have gone on to perform professionally and even on Broadway stages.

In addition to seeking the truly talented artist, youths that are emotionally, physically and socially disadvantaged have been given the opportunity to work in a theater environment by BEE. Students from the Pride Alternative School in Oak Lawn and Aunt Martha’s in Chicago are among the groups that have been targeted in the past. Senior citizens have also been welcomed members of many casts and stage crews. Through their training with BEE, these members gained a sense of fulfillment and the confidence to perform in other theaters in the Chicago area.

BEE’s current production “Bah Humbug” has been performed for more than 15 of its 25 years and features veteran performer John B. Boss (Oak Lawn) as the miserly old Scrooge. Playing the spirits are Jack Simon (Matteson) as Marley, Becca Thoss (Orland Pk) and Kaitlyn Frieling (Palos Heights) as Christmas Past, Peter James Foote (Beverly) as Christmas Present and Simon doubling as the Ghost of Christmas Future. Scrooge’s clerk Bob Cratchit is played by Ron Buscemi (Evergreen Park) with Kathy Murzyn (Marquette Manor ) as Mrs. Cratchit and Olivia Aleman (Oak Lawn) and Adrian Arriaga (Chicago) sharing the role of Tiny Tim. Also featured in the cast are Leo Fagan (Chicago Lawn) and Patricia Henaghan (Olympia Fields) as Mr. & Mrs. Fezziwig. The story line is narrated by Susan Pagels (West Beverly ).

Other members of the 57 person cast include: Ashley Mannion, Rachel Olson, Meghan Cronin, Meghan Hurkes, Jenna Hurkes,Callie Pieczara, Emily Killeen, Jackie Haas, (Oak Lawn): Danielle Hamzik (Bridgeview),Alice & Randy Trull (Hickory Hills), Abbey Norton ( Tinley Park), Sarah Conway, Peter Donald Foote (Scrooge as a boy) (Beverly), Nancy Balouris, Ray & Mary Anne Zygmuntovic, John Marozas, Mary Kenealy, Cathy Earle, (Chicago Ridge), Destiny Frejek, Charles Jackson, Gabrielle Berrien, Yvonne & Shesheta McNutt, Brett Arceneaux, Alexander Arnold, Daphne Ziqui, Vanessa Brown, (Chicago) : Christina Jesik, Erin Kelly, Lauren Luchsinger, Scott Sowinski (Mount Greenwood) and Mary , Lauren & Jimmy O’Neal, Jennifer, Jessica, & Michelle Spreadbury, Lauren Merriweather, Katie Scheidt (Oak Forest).

Show times are 8:00PM on Saturday , November 29th and 3:00PM on Sunday November 30th at the Morgan Park Academy, 2153 W 111th Street.

Ticket prices are $15 for adults and $13 for Senior and children 12 and under. Tickets can be reserved by calling 773-239-2399. Kick off your Holiday Season with this much loved classic and help BEE celebrate their 25th Anniversary.

Hope you can make it! Happy Thanksgiving!

Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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Back in the Saddle Again?

We're Back! I think!

For those of you who have been coming back of the month of August hoping to see some kind of change for the last month and finding none, my apologies. I hope you took a chance and visited out archives and found some of the treasures buried in the 600 or so posts there.

Since this is mostly a comedy blog I won't go into the details, but I could skip living through this last few months again. Deaths in the family, personal crises, illness, pain, all this kinds of things, you are not coming here for. But, things are looking up and so, I think you should be able to see a return to regular postings here.

Regular? Two to three times a week, usually in spurts.

I discovered that the RSS feed isn't working right, I have to figure out how to fix that. If yours IS working right, leave a comment and let me know. I did manage to get the comment interface working better and some other features cleaned up.

If you have a child, hug them, watch them closely if they are near the water. A young relative drowned this summer. I have a young child. The stuff of nightmares. It's been almost a month now and he effect of the support of our community on the parents has been profound as all those who feel "there but for the grace of God go I" in this situation have extended their hearts and love to them.

I know that those in our house have, and if you pray, I invite you to do so for them and any of those who have lost dear ones of any age for any reason this summer.

I also lost another friend, who was my one of my best friend's uncles. A finer kinder person you would be hard pressed to find no matter how bright a light you had to shine on the world to fine one. Wise, funny, and neat to the point of a methodological that might have driven even Felix Unger mad were it not for the kindness and gentleness in which he practiced it (he did not expect others to be able to practice what he preached, he merely enabled them gently, when they visited him).

George was an enabler of the highest and best sort. An educator, a scientist, a friend, and 'weather' he enabled the world to understand his field of science to advance in unique and powerful ways, or his colleagues and students to grow and flourish as a result of knowing him, or the world to retain works of beautiful music that might otherwise have been lost, George enabled so many to a better life in many ways.

I got to know him first when my friend, his nephew became quite seriously ill, the kind of thing that only a small percentage survived, even in the early 1980's. That my friend survived was due to his courage in being willing to participate in experimental treatment, some luck in being in the right experimental group, some gumption on his own, and the knowledge of the deep and constant support of his 'Unc' who was there for him in ways that no one else could be, not even myself - poor as a church mouse as I was at the time I could not afford to fly to Seattle to be with my friend through the bone marrow transplant and other procedures, I was only able to talk to him by phone and letter. Not good enough. But Unc was a conduit of information to me.

I was terrified that I was going to lose my best friend at the time, in fact, I was in a play called Da, by Hugh Leonard, in which the main character is diagnosed with cancer and has to deal with the approach of his death at that very time. Since it was one of the few paying gigs I had gotten I couldn't help accepting, and it was worth it too, one of the best performances I ever gave. I played the older Kearns who learns some things about himself that he wished he had not by the end of the show and goes through a complex and complete emotional breakdown on stage. A subtle bit of work that shouldn't be forced; in the end, my fears about my friend came out every night on stage.

The audiences thought I was inspired. I knew the truth. I was petrified that my best friend would die in the middle of the production and that I would be unable to continue and would never work professionally again. Through all of that time, the wires between "Unc's" house and mine, and his hotel in Seattle and mine, ran hot and heavy. He gave me updates, I gave him humor pointers for cheering up my friend. It was a conspiracy of kindness to make sure he had the kind of support he needed to survive other storms brewing around him via the females of the species.

Over the years after that, Unc became Grunc as my friend's uncle became a grand Uncle. And I got to know him and his fastidious ways better. Having dinner with him was a real treat. First of all, he was a wonderful cook. Tasty and low fat. But then, watching him clean his kitchen was like watching a man in love with it. He looked very much like Jeff Smith, once known as PBS's the Frugal Gourmet, and took great care to clean his kitchen counters fastidiously. Just....so.

Every crumb came up off the tables and counters. Every particle of dust off the floor into the dust pan. Every unwanted spec into the garbage can under the sink, and every night, without fail, Grunc would take that paper garbage bag out of its container, raise it to the counter top, fold the edges so that the creases were razor sharp and meticulously fold the top down so that there was no possibility that any part of the contents could seep out. On some occasions, if seepage might become a problem, he might add a plastic bag outside the paper bag and put another paper bag around those two, just so that they appeared neat and strong.

Then, once folded neatly and correctly, Grunc would walk the package down the hall, open the door to the utility closet leading to the garbage chute, and his package would ever so neatly descend to the bottom. If, on rare occasions, Grunc had reason to believe that his 'parcel' did not reach the bottom without 'incident' he would then feel compelled to check, by taking the elevator down to the basement and investigating the matter. More than once he found an incredible mess because the garbage contractor had failed to show up to remove the waiting container that collected the garbage that waited at the bottom of the chute.

Grunc would then call the building super who more often than not was grateful to Grunc since no one else would tell him and he would be stuck cleaning up the mess. Grunc lived in a very old, prestigious building near the Museum of Science and Industry, but it was large enough generate a lot of trash.

Some times Grunc's fastidiousness could be hard on those he loved and he knew it, but he just could not help himself. He just wanted to make things easier for people.

One time my friends sister was visiting town and had a 19 year old nanny that wanted to see some of Chicago. They knew that I had been a tour guide and I got volunteered to her around town based largely on Grunc's, not my friend's character recommendation.

Since we would be returning possibly late, (Very late, O.o) Grunc felt that we needed instruction in how to open the door quietly, and to my chagrin and the whole group's stunned amusement proceeded to give a demonstration on how to put a key into a lock and turn it. LOL

I always suspected that he was planting a subconscious idea in both our heads, but it didn't take, at least on her part (rats). But the image of Grunc, in the hallway, bent over the lock, turning sideways with his funny crooked smile, looking half up as he demonstrated the best way to put the key in the lock and turn it just - so(!) to get it to open quietly, will ever remain in my heart as the quintessential Grunc moment.

I think you will have gathered by now that I came to love this old man who let me into his life as a friend as he did not so many others. Of course it was largely due to the fact that I cared deeply for his nephew, but we were both scientists, my lab was less formal, but we talked about my work a few times and he was greatly surprised when he understood the stringency of my methodology, which for a government operation, might not have been so strict. He read a number of my papers over the years and gave helpful comments, brief, it was not his field, but helpful, mostly in that he recognized in a way that others important to me in my life could not, the meaning of some of my achievements professionally. He truly understood them.

His death came as a surprise as I knew it would. Grunc was a private person. When I knew it was coming near I made sure to send him a note that at lest hinted at my feelings. I wanted to get together with him one last time but I suspected that I had missed my window and when he was hospitalized I was not given an opportunity to visit or call him. As I went through the stages of death I was quite angry about this for at least an hour. But that passed. I know that Grunc did not want me to remember him that way and now I don't.

I compare my healthy memories of Grunc to the memories of a six-year old cousin in her coffin and I know which ones I prefer. Funerals are hard for me. Especially the funerals of children. I guess that's true for everyone. But when you are the parent of a child the same age as the deceased it hits really close to home. More than I wanted to say.

So, back to the comedy in the next post.



Peter,
A little saddle-sore - but as the Jesuits say, if it doesn't kill you, it builds character.



Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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Chicago, The Musical, at Holiday Star Theater, July 19, 20, 25, 26, 2008

When I first came back to Chicago's South Side Community Theater scene after a long gap from doing shows in Chicago, my first part was Pablo in the Beverly Theater Guild's 1984 production of A Streetcar Named Desire directed by Brian Leo, who took a chance on me, being an unknown talent to those casting out there at the time, and to a degree, to myself.

The show went very well, and to my surprise, I got lots of laughs in places where I realized that I should have known that there could be, and only one that there shouldn't have been (Stanley and I managed to break the bed during the fight scene in one performance when we tripped going through the unsupported door frame between the kitchen and the bedroom).

Afterwards a tall, thin person came up to me and asked me if I would like to be in a show that was going up in only three weeks at a nearby theater. His name was John Boss, and that show introduced me to many people who helped me meet people who led me to be in a series of 40 some shows that spanned 1984 - 2004.

I saw John last weekend during the intermission of "Moon over Buffalo" (that I reviewed last week) and reminded him that I am happy to promote productions when I am able - he assured me that he had remembered, and sure enough, in this morning's email was a notice that he was appearing as Mary Sunshine in the Holiday Star Theater's production of "Chicago" starting July 19th.

John is a very talented actor and Holiday Star Theater books really fine acts, so I am sure that you will find the show worthwhile, If you go, you may even pass me in the lobby. The details from the theater follow:

Star Productions is pleased to announce this year’s full scale regional presentation of the smash hit musical “CHICAGO,” scheduled for July 19, 20, 25 and 26 at Merrillville’s Star Plaza Theatre. (Directions)

The 20's are roaring with hot jazz and cold-blooded killers. Filled with passion, greed, corruption, murder and non-stop dance, Bob Fosse's “CHICAGO” is one of the sexiest musicals to ever hit Broadway.

Honored with six Tony Awards and one Grammy, this drop dead musical features classic show tunes "All That Jazz," "Razzle Dazzle," and "Roxie.” Star Productions secured the rights to this exclusive area engagement after the successful national tour of “CHICAGO” made a stop at Star Plaza Theatre this past March.

The regional cast stars Tina Dohl-Menconi, re-creating her NIETF award-winning role as villainess Velma Kelly; Charlie Blum also re-creates his role as the fast-talking attorney, Billy Flynn. Jenna Rose Underwood plays Roxie Hart, Mary Jo Williamson returns to the Star Plaza stage in the role of Matron Mama Morton, with J.J. Boylan as Amos Hart with John Boss rounding out the lead cast as Mary Sunshine. Add the accomplished ensemble cast of 17 singers and dancers, and this sexy musical comes to life for four performances.

This regional theater production of “CHICAGO” is being produced by Star Productions, directed by Kurt Gillins, choreographed by Lyn Knight, with musical direction by Bill Woods. For tickets, call the Star Plaza box office at 219.791.1234 or Ticketmaster 312.559.1212. Star Plaza is located at: 8001 Delaware Place, Merrillville, IN. Ticket prices are $25 – Main Floor; $20 – Mezzanine.

This is a Peter Files Blog Recommended Show. No money or consideration was received in advance for this promotion.

Are you a theater person with a show to promote? Perhaps a friend of mine who would like to see their show promoted in this way? Be like John, send me the information needed to put a post like this together and time and health allowing I'll be happy to do it.  Send me whatever you can: show information, production dates, cast lists, links to pictures, bios, directions and even your ticket office. THE EARLIER TO BETTER. While theater posts do get many dozens of hits, its always a shame when people visit only AFTER your production is OVER.

The more you information you give me, the more I can put up. But, you don't have to know me to send me a listing. Community theater productions are especially well treated. I am also happy to update posts as you get new information like cast information and photos. You can leave me information in a comment, leave your email address in a comment which I screen, so I will copy the address, delete it and email you for more information, or email me at: {thepeterfilesblog AT gmail DOT com}


Peter, Chief Editor and Avant Garden Theater Promoter
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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Beverly Theatre Guild's Moon Over Buffalo, Collins, Massaro, Nearly Kill Audience with Laughter

I don't often engage in post production reviews, but in the case of the Beverly Theatre Guild's one weekend production of Ken Ludwig's Moon Over Buffalo, the production was so fine, the acting so outrageous and sublime, that for the benefit of future audiences in the area who often have only a one or two weekend run to see a BTG show, I felt that it was worth the effort to tell you what a marvelous gut-wrenching laugh riot you probably missed this weekend at Chicago's Beverly Art Center at 111th and South Western Avenue.

I've taken the liberty of reproducing parts of the program so that if you recognize the names of these actors in listings of productions in local papers in the future you know that you should make the effort to toddle on down to the theater to see them in action.

There wasn't a single performance that wasn't worth seeing in this extremely well directed production by director Tobi Lowrance with assistance from Assistant Director Francesca Scalzi who took a great script updated it with a combination of new and veteran actors and crafted a fast-moving and emotionally moving comedy and farce of high order.

Moon Over Buffalo, the story of 1950's couple George and Chalotte Hay, the touring repertory family company stars of the style of the Lunts, the Barrymores, or the Zimablists, who displaced by film and television, find the profitablility of the road touring companies drying up and their way of life dissapearing. They are facing the possibility of fiancial and relationship ruin when they get a phone call suggesting that film director Frank Capra will be in the Matinee audience of the day's show to see if George is fit to take over the lead of his new film, just as he has lost two of his own essential players.

The BTG's production was a door-slaming, sword-fighting, knee-to-groin below the belt guffaw generator of the highest or lowest order, depending on how you look at it. Joe Collins as George and Meg Massaro as Charlotte under the direction of Lowrance and Scalzi make us wonder sometimes if the War of the Roses was kid stuff as Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner did not play people who had the whole repetoire of classic theatre to fight, kick, scratch, curse and make asses of themselves with.

Both actors tender the performances of their lives with split-second timing, perfect delivery, no fear of looking foolish in either of them, both hungerly seeking the comic truth in each and every moment of the show, yet at the same time, they show that the other side of hate is deep and abiding love, not indifference, and the changes both George and Charlotte go through during the course of the show, as they beat by beat avoid the easy way out of each line or moment in the show, and provide the audience with richness and emotional truth instead in a way that is stunningly honest and laughingly true.

Massaro and Collins are perfectly matched. Massaro's antics reminded me of Carol Burnett with a kind of subtle restraint while prancing across the stage in antics of anger, hostility and rapturous joy, that make her highs more realistic and just as funny as Burnett.

Collins, known widely as the voice of WBBM's traffic reports, and a community theatre veteran, gives what is perhaps the best and most challenging performance of his life. An expert in physical and character comedy, Collins is forced to add the romance of Romeo, the pathos of lear, the errors of Falstaff, and the drunken blindness of Stanley and Merrythought.

As George plunges though the stormy seas of this farce, swooping up and down, driven by the winds of fate, opportunity, his own stupidity, and the heights of fortune and misfortune, instead of a farcicle charade of a man, Collins gives us a man complete, torn by the pain he has brought to those he loves, wracked and ruined by remorse, blindly attempting to get on with it anyway, until at last our everyman falls, the great fall and lands as low as any man can, worse yet, in front of an icon of his dreams, the key to his future. Neitzsche or Kafka could not have planned it so well.

At this point in the show, many actors, would allow the script in hand to carry him on, riding on it to safely breezing through to the end; but Collins takes emotional risks in keeping with his growing maturity as an actor, baring his emotions in a way that gives Massaro room to do the same. So at the end of the farce, instead of a lighthearted wrapping up of ends a la Charley's Aunt, we have the two confronting the pain and trauma they have endured in their lives together and grow, together, changed by the ordeal they have suffered, to become someone new while remaining to themselves true.

Breathtaking and moving. I wish you could have been there. Watch for the cast in other productions.



Their daughter Roz, played by Lisa Marie Marciano and her estranged ex-boxfriend Paul played by Lorenzo Blackett are forcefully thrust together by the circumstances of the day in which Roz had only intended to introduce her new fiance Howard, played by David Korzatkowski to her parents, but is sucked back in to the chaos of the day by the disappearance of the production's Ingenue Eileen, played by Tiffani M. Moore. Marciano and Blackett are wonderfully cast and provide both a dramatic and, it must be said, very steamy, dramatic tension, that adds to the sweetness of the farce. Korzatkowski and Moore both bring and empty headed playfulness to their roles that crank up the tension, humor, and guffaws at just the right time. Like Collins,Massaro, Marciano and Blackett, Korzatkowski has an incredible sense of physical comedy, perhaps equal to that of Joe Collins who's own mastery of the physical comedic art form stops the show at three or four points, minimum.

In fact, it should be noted, that in the performance that I saw, Collins was so funny, that his last antic at the end of a scene in Act II, caused a second wave of laughter to start well after the blackout, as the audience re-visualized what they had seen him do just before the lights went out. Something I have never seen in 45 years of theater. A new spontaneous wave of laughter spreading through the audience while sitting in the darkness, starting a good 15 seconds after the lights went out, without a smart alec comment to trigger it. Unbelievable. Joe was just THAT funny.

Rick Baker was also excellent and very believable as Richard, the love-struck friend who wishes to steal Charlotte away from George and their near poverty and terrible traveling conditions. Presaging the aging baby-boom romanic love interest, Baker is suave, debonair, and quite convincing a someone who George could perceive as a threat to take away the woman he truly loves, Charlotte because of a moments weakness.

In every farce of this caliber there has to be a foil that comes in and out delivering sharp lines to skewer the leads. In this show it is Ethel, Charlotte's mother and the bane of George's existence played by South Side theater veteran Jan Dignan. Saying just how long Dignan has been treading he boards out here with her sister Choch would be telling. But this is truly one of her best performances and she plays the part of the wiley, cantankerous mother and seamstress with joy, verve and cunning nastiness and with a great deal of depth. One of her best performances as well and I have seen many of them.

So why did I love this show so much. I've given you a good deal of plot, but nothing that would make you laugh I think. That's because a great deal of the humor comes directly from the acting and directing in the show. It has to stand as one of the funniest shows I have ever seen (that of course I have not been in myself...).

I laughed hard and long and so did the rest of the audience. There were constant surprises. Hardly a line went wrong. The timing and tension required to keep the show moving was constantly upheld. Nary a line was swallowed. The pacing was fabulous and the cast seemed to know JUST How long to hold for a laugh to allow the audience to laugh.

And the show moved fast. A credit to the actors and directors. With intermissions the show ran well under two hours. It easily could have run 20 minutes longer with a less experienced cast. Lowrance and Scalzi seemed to have an instinct for getting the best out of their cast, using their strenghts to their best advantage.



Moore for example, the ingenue with something extra, who causes a huge fuss between George and jealous Charlotte, plays the wide-eyed innocent with aplomb until the time comes to reveal that she has more underneath than some had suspected and she gets exactly what she wants. Played to a t.

Blackett's performance as the frenetic manager and lover, and a much more determined lover than able manager, is a perfect foil to George as George freaks out, (Woody Allen on steroids without the accent), In his unique non-George way Blackett panics about whole groups of issues, but not when it comes to Roz. His changes when it comes to Roz are as surprising and funny, as they are tempting and disturbing to Roz's confidence in her engagement. Paul is after all, looking for an engagement of another kindl For a moment we think we are about to see another show altoghether when a plot element breaks the two apart before anything really good happens. Whew! It had been getting hot in there.

Marciano's conflicts as the daughter in search of normality, trying to break away from the perpetual craziness of her parent's life is also compelling, except, when disaster strikes, she is sucked back into it all to easily.

Credit must go of course to the writer of this gem, Ken Ludwig, who captured so well the essence of the times and the desires of those who wished to grasp fame and maintain their life on stage before it melted away.

So, were this show to go another weekend, which it cannot, sadly, I would have soundly recommended it. Instead, the best I can do is say, remember the actors, and the directors, and the group, the Beverly Theatre Guild, one of Chicago's oldest community theater groups.

Next Season BTG Plans to produce:
The Irish drama Dancing at Lughnasa by Brian Friel, October 24-26, 2008
The Musical The Full Monty by Terrance McNally and David Yazbek, February 6-9,2009
The Comedy Twentieth Century by Ken Ludwig, May 8-10th, 2009

You can print the form on this page to order season tickets and save $12 or more on ticket prices.




Hot Trash From the Audience: There was speculation about how full the monty would be for the full monty, and a few jokes in the audience about whether we would want to see some of our friend's montied at all. I assured those I sat with that I was not intending to audition as I wanted to help BTG build an audience rather than send them running to the exits, possibly scarred for life. More on that when they get closer to the production next year.


I am tired after being wired from the excitement of a great production so I hope the cast and you will forgive any typos herein. As always if you have a theatre production in the Chicago/NW Indiana Region to Promote send me the information well in advance to "Thepeteterfilesblog" At "Gmail" Dot "Com" and I will be happy to post what I can.

It helps a lot if you give me something in ready to post format. If you have pictures, especially at a website that I can link to, give me the links, or send me the photos as attachments and I will be glad to post what I can. As time has passed I do get quite a bit of response from actors knowing quite a few of them myself.

Finally, congratulations to the whole cast and crew of Moon over Buffalo. While I spent more time on Collins and Massaro, a production this complex does not succeed without incredible coordination and effort both onstage and backstage, a true ensemble effort. A.D. Scalzi was also the Stage Manager for the show, something she has a gift for. The show has a nightmarish number of entrances and exits, yet she looked calm and collected before the performance. The tech for the show was also perfect and the sets by Emil Zbella were also superb (as always Emil).

Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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Please make comments by clicking on the word "Comments"!

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Moon Your Mom For Mother's Day: Brunch & Moon Over Buffalo Comedy Treat!

Moon Your Mom for Mother's Day? 

Of course its a joke! A Whole Laugh riot! 

With a yummy brunch included. The Spectacular Beverly Theatre Guild, Beverly Hills Oldest Performing Arts Group invites you and your Mom and Grandmother to their Brunch and Show Treat on Mother's Day at 11:00 am at the Garden Chalet 11100 South Ridgeland followed by a 2pm performance of the Hilarious Hilarious Comedy Moon Over Buffalo at the Brand new Beverly Arts Center 111th and Western Avenue.

Brunch Space is limited so call 708-361-0400 today!

Click image for larger view.

Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker

The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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Upcoming South Side Chicago Plays

Plays coming up in South Side Chicago Theater starting this weekend. Please verify time and ticket prices with the box offices!

OAK LAWN COMMUNITY THEATER
THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE
SHOW DATES: March 14th, 15th & 16th
SHOW LOCATION: Oakview Recreation Center @ 4625 W. 110th Street , Oak Lawn
TICKETS: $19.00 Adults / $18.00 Students & Seniors
BOX OFFICE: 708-857-2200

NEW WORLD REPERTORY THEATER
THE EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES
WHEN: March 15th
WHERE: New World Repertory Theater @ 923 Curtis Street , Downers Grove
TIMES: 1:00pm & 4:00pm
TICKETS: $10.00 Ages 12 & up / $7.00 Children under 12
BOX OFFICE: 630-633-1489 www.newworldrep.org

ELIZABETH SETON CHURCH
THE VIGIL – AN EASTER PASSION PLAY
WHEN: March 13th & 14th
WHERE: 16100 Seton Road , South Holland , IL
TIMES: 7:30pm
TICKETS: $5.00 Per Person
BOX OFFICE: 708-333-6300

BEVERLY THEATRE GUILD
JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR
WHEN: March 14th, 15th & 16th
WHERE: Beverly Arts Center @ 2407 W. 111th Street , Chicago
TIMES: TBA
TICKETS: $20.00 Adults / $19.00 Senior (62+) & Students (with current ID) / $18 Military ~ Retired or Active / $18 Group Sales ~20 or more
BOX OFFICE: 773-445-3838 or www.beverlyartcenter.org

THEATRE-ON-THE-HILL
ESCANABA IN LOVE
WHEN: March 21st through April 13th
WHERE: Bollingbrook’s Performing Arts Stage @ 375 W. Briarcliff, Bolingbrook
TIMES: Friday & Saturday @ 8:00pm / Sunday @ 3:00pm
TICKETS: $11.00 Students & Seniors / $14.00 Adults
BOX OFFICE: 630-759-2970

ORLAND PARK COMEDY IMPROV
COMEDY IMPROV
WHEN: March 28th
WHERE: Old Village Hall @ 14413 Beacon, Orland Park , IL
TIMES: 8:00pm – 10:00pm
TICKETS: $5.00 at the door
BOX OFFICE: 708-403-7275

ORLAND PARK THEATRE TROUPE
GREASE!
WHEN: April 25th, 26th & 27th
WHERE: Carl Sandburg Performing Arts Center @ 13100 LaGrange Rd , Orland Park
TIMES: Friday & Saturday @ 7:00pm / Sunday @ 2:00pm
TICKETS: $17.00 Adults / $15.00 Seniors & Students / $13.00 Children to age 12
BOX OFFICE: 708-403-7275

STRAY DOG
BORN YESTERDAY
WHEN: April 25th, 26th, 27th, May 2nd, 34d & 4th
WHERE: Veteran’s Memorial Middle School Theatre @ 12320 S. Greenwood Ave , Blue Island
TIMES: Doors open @ 6:45 ~ Please do not arrive earlier than 6:30 or later than 8:30pm
TICKETS: TBA
BOX OFFICE: TBA

S.T.A.R.
ANYBODY OUT THERE?
WHEN: April 26 & 27, May 2 & 3
WHERE: Home Auditorium, 4400 S Home Ave , Stickney , IL
TIME: : Sat @ 8pm / Sun @ 2pm / Fri & Sat @ 8pm
TICKETS: $10 Adults / $9 Seniors, Students & Military / $5 Children 12 & under
BOX OFFICE: 773-585-5852 or www.chicagostar.org

BEVERLY THEATRE GUILD
MOON OVER BUFFALO
WHEN: : May 9th, 10th & 11th
WHERE: Beverly Arts Center @ 2407 W. 111th Street , Chicago
TIMES: TBA
TICKETS: $20.00 Adults / $19.00 Senior (62+) & Students (with current ID) / $18 Military ~ Retired or Active / $18 Group Sales ~20 or more
BOX OFFICE: 773-445-3838 or www.beverlyartcenter.org

PALOS VILLAGE PLAYERS
I HATE HAMLET
WHEN: May 9th, 10th, 16th & 17th
WHERE: Palos Village Hall @ 8901 W. 123rd Street , Palos Park
TIMES: Fridays & Saturdays @ 7:30pm, Sunday matinee (10th) @ 2pm
TICKETS: From $12 to $15
BOX OFFICE: 708- 479-3262 or 708-671-1091


Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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The Beverly Hills University Club Scholarship Foundation Announces Auditions For Volk & Clair's Once on This Island 1/22/08

The Beverly Hills University Club Scholarship Foundation Announces Auditions For Volk & Clair's Once on This Island Beginning Tuesday, January 22, 2009:

The timeless fable of love conquering death from the Broadway writing team that brought you Titanic and Seussical the Musical

Directed by Cassie Dawe
Musical Direction by Peg Mooney
Executive Producers Jaime Volk and Joseph Clair

Audition Information:

Tuesday, January 22, 2008 7:30  and Thursday, January 24, 2008 7:30 pm

(last new audition at 9:00 pm)

Callbacks
Sunday, January 27, 2008 4:30 pm

Audition & Callback Location: Trinity Methodist Church
99th & Winchester in Chicago
(1/2 mile east of Western Ave.)

Seeking: Actors, singers, dancers, age 18 and older from any ethnic background to fill a cast of up to 40 people with 10 principal roles (5 male/5 female) Newcomers are always welcome to audition. A photo and resume is not required though previous experience will be an advantage.

Also seeking assistance with backstage crew, set design and building, makeup, props, costumes, program ad sales, and many other background help areas.

SHOW DATES: April 3 –6, 2008 at the New Beverly Art Center, 111th & South Western Avenue, Chicago, IL 60643

Please prepare a song from the show, or bring your own music for a song of your choice (musical theater style). Dress comfortably as there will be a dance audition. Those auditioning will read from the script, so prepared readings are not required.

For more information: call 312.735.6588

About the BHUCSF
The Beverly Hills University Club was started in 1924 to provide “good fellowship among members” and social activities continue to be an enjoyable part of the club, but in 1932 a more important goal was established: “To provide as many college scholarships as possible for deserving high school graduates in the Ridge District”. The bulk of the money for these scholarships comes from the Broadway Musical we produce each year, a tradition since 1956.

Many area residents have given time to this cause—several have been members for over 35 years, and even a few who have belonged for over 50 years. Today BHUC is a club of more than 100 members who work together to produce one musical per year to raise money for local area college scholarships.

You do not have to be a member to audition, though over the years many of those cast in BHUC productions have become members and even have gone on to co-produce the annual show themselves!

The Peter Files Blog of Comedy is glad to support the Arts by listing Free notices of area auditions and productions. Please submit such materials as far as possible in advance to Thepeterfilesblog at gmail dot com

While Chicago area listings are preferred, free posting of audition notices from out of area productions will be considered due to the wide readership of this blog, including heavy readership on the East and West Coast, Europe and further abroad. Production photos are also welcome. As with any individual blog, the easier it is for me to package your material into a post, the more likely and more timely the information can be posted.

Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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How to Prepare for an Audition – Imperfect Notes for the Beginner Scribbled Quickly From My Own Experience

How to Prepare for an Audition – Imperfect Notes for the Beginner Scribbled Quickly From My Own Experience

It is generally agreed by professionals like myself that Panic is the first step to a great audition. True, this is counter-intuitive. You do not want your high level of panic to show at the audition, but a high level of panic right up to the point that you get into the car on the way to the audition itself can be a most helpful motivator.

Note the importance of losing your panic before getting into a car on the way to the audition itself, in fact before driving any auto vehicle at any time prior to the audition. In fact, where available, taking public transportation to an audition can help relieve pre-audition stress. Call 836-7000 for directions in the Chicago Region for CTA, Pace and Metre. Beverly Art Center, for example is served by all three!

I have noted that severe auto accidents often undermine the confidence of those auditioning and directors alike with worries of self-termination prior to the actual performance date and quite talented people are sometimes over looked at auditions for this reason.

“Kumquats! I’d cast him, but in the Scottish play he almost got his arm cut off
and he didn’t even have a sword, in Sweeny Todd he managed to slide down the Barber Chair Head first and we’re doing Pirates of Penzance here, no, I can’t risk it. And he’s a great Tenor. If I could just suspend him in a box above the stage. Hmmn, Maybe….
From such maybes have come some of he stages greatest on stage fiascos.
Note: Gender and Facts changed above in the interests of fairness and to protect my life.

Getting the script is the next big step. Once you have it, often available from the producer for community theater productions for a deposit, you can figure out, within reason, if there are any parts in the show for you at all.

I am not going to try to define “within reason” here. So often directors are stuck in “Auditions" with the "this is all I get to work with?" situation such that you may get to play 40 years older or younger than your actual ace, especially in a musical, if you have the notes. More likely, the director will look for a ringer, but the bigger the cast, the better your chances, especially when multiple shows are casting at the same time. I still don’t know why production companies do this, but often in an area production companies will create chaos by holding auditions within days of each other. This always works to the actor’s advantage and never to the producer’s as this allows actors to pick and choose between offered parts and this messes up the "pretty pictures" producers made on the stage when casting.

Having a realistic idea of what you are really likely to be cast for will help you a lot. The best way to get this sense of reality is to work with a really good friend, an acting teacher of vocal coach who will be honest with you. Brital honest is critically important. Not the kind you see in the American Idol pre-shows.

All my friends say I'm really a great singer so I thought I would screech my way through The Facts of Life Theme Sng on National Television.

That kind of honesty you don't need unless its backed up by an agent.

Acting is a skill, practice and exposure to people who are really good at it will really help you, IF, you pay attention to them without being a pest. I have learned far more from the people I have worked with over the years than from any book.

If you are preparing for a musical, you need to prepare a song in your vocal range and be ready to sing it in time to the music. The music director may change the time of the music to see if you handle it well or poorly and can work with an orchestra that may get away from him.

But first things first, if you are a low alto, don’t audition for a high soprano part just because you have always wanted to play that part. The music director will strongly resist having the song done an octave lower except in very exceptional chances.

How do you find out your vocal range? The musical director at a community theater audition will help you a little. But for lead roles you usually need to have been working with a vocal coach.

Vocal coaches do not have to be hugely expensive. But $20-$30 a half hour, every week is not out of line on the south side. Ask the good singers who they use. They probably have the best coaches. Try to get an appointment. If you know nothing about sight reading music they may reject you, then ask for a reference for a real beginner who will tolerate this, or ask for “emergency help” for one audition and they may, may take pity on you.

Above all else a vocal coach should start by:

Teaching you how to protect your voice;

Teaching you how to breath correctly;

Teaching you about your range and what songs are in it;

If your vocal coach does not start with the first two immediatly, especially in winter, ask why not and be prepared to fire them right away if it is not a very good answer. Finding your range might come first, but protecting your voice is paramount, you can ruin it through improper vocal training and if your vocal coach does not know how to protect against this you need to move on, immediately.

Analyze the scrip to try to figure out what scenes the director might choose for auditions and learn these first, but try to become really familiar with as much of the script as possible. Look for scenes where a lot of the characters are on stage at once. The cast parades: the director needs to see how the whole cast looks together. If you are a shorter person in one of these, wear a hat and heels as you go up. If tall, flats and no hat. Little things help. Dpn't do dumb showy things to get attention, trust me, I've tried, they don't work.

Look for little intense scenes between the characters you think you want to play and the main characters they compete against, who is often but not always the same gender. To borrow from Michael Shurtlief’s excellent book “The Audition” (buy in paperback, its cheap) always ask in any scene, ask “What is your character fighting for?” Then fight for it. Hard. Even if you've gotten the what the character should be fighting for wrong, if nothing else it makes for a fiesty scene and proves you won’t be boring on stage if you get the part. Directors often like surprising and feisty interpretations of work that are seriously done. It means the actor has done some serious thinking about the work and might be fun to work with, a serious plus in most directors worth working with. Yes, Virgina, there are a very few directors not worth working with. If you are lucky and are in the scene with someone very good, your fighting for method will give them something to play off of. Listen to what they are sending you and build off it, incorporate it, the emotions, etc, and bring the level of tension and stakes of the scent up, not down.

Working really well with someone, anyone in a scene can help you get the part. Your goal is always to get some part, not a specific part. Besides, you never know who the director has really picked for the lead, it is often not obvious. I've been in shoes where the director picked a young woman as the lead but only read her in minor parts, but with every other potential member of the cast. He knew how good she was already, not everyone else. He learned a lot by how people worked with her compared to the "obvious" lead candidates and the resulting cast complely surprised everyonel. The director cast those who worked well with everyone, especially his lead. Of course, most directors are not this devious.

So don't agonise too much how you are doing in any one audition, or lie and die on any one audition. Its just not healthy. As time goes on, the right parts will come to you with experience. Especially as you build a reputation for reliability and stability from show to show which are very important.

That’s all I have time for now. OH. Ues.

Remember not to panic IN the audition. The producers want you to succeed and you to show yourself off at your most calm and professional best. They want to see what you can really do and are hoping that YOU will be the surprise star that they are looking for. And you just might be. And don’t forget to have a little fun, your audition audience may be larger than some of the real audiences you get, sorry to say. And, more receptive, because they are sweating as much as you are. That is, if the producers let the others see you. That's an issue in and of itself.

Break a leg!

Hope you liked this one!

Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
http://www.blogger.com/

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Beverly Theater Guild Hosts Jesus Christ Superstar Auditions on January 3rd and 5th, 2008

Earlier this week I reported on Director Brian Leo's production of Jesus Christ Superstar.

I just received details on the Beverly Theatre Guild's, a respected South Side theatre company that I have been regularly a member of, production of, you guessed it Jesus Christ Superstar!

See the Flyer Below for Details: Auditions are just before Brian Leo's, January 3rd and 5th 2008th.

Performances are at Beverly Art Center 111th Street and Western Avenue in Chicago.

Can't tell you how to decide between the two groups. I do not know the director A.J. Wester or Musical Director Allison Hendrix, but that means nothing since I have been out of the Musical Theatre sceen for awhile. Perhaps knowing them, or geography will help you decide.

I am always bothered when two groups in the same region pick the same show, but sometimes that can't be helped, great minds do think alike. 

I do have a great amount of respect for both BTG and Brian Leo. It should be noted that Brian has worked many times for BTG as a Director and an Actor, and truth in advertising, has cast me in a number of productions.

 So I leave it in your hands. Note that audition dates (His 2nd auditions are on January 7th) allow an actor to audition for both and he has choice parts available too. On the other hand, his rehearsals and performances will be in Frankfort.

Break a leg to all who audition to either one, its a super show! 

If you don't audition for either production please mark the performance dates, which are different, in your engagement calendars. 

I will try to find the Beverly Hills University Clubs' Scholarship Foundation auditions soon too. Will have to dig those up as well.

Note to producers: I saw this notice in my in-box today. I got 50 theater related queries in my blog this week. They could have come to this notice.

Peter, Chief Editor, Theater Watcher and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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Attack of the Mutant Rat Reindeer in Beverly Hills, Chicago

Once upon a time, there were two girls, Mary and Anne, who were signed up for dancing lessons at the local park of the Chicago Park District.

The girls thought this was a wonderful idea, not so much because of their love of dance, but because it got them out of the house two or three times a week for at least an hour when they might otherwise be forced to do homework, or chores, or laundry or such, being from a large family, there was a great deal of laundry or such that they were chained to like dwarves in a Grimms fairy tale, not the nice French kind.

Unlike those in suburban households, where children live on cul-de-sacs and must be driven everywhere, Mary and Anne had the option of either walking or riding their bikes to dancing lessons. I say option, but the truth of it was that in general, no car was available anyway for the trip.

This was not really a burden, because the park's field house was really only a long block down their street, another very short block to the stop light. A few feet to the driveway for the park, and a few more feet to the door of the Park District field house where the dancing lessons were held. A trip of less than 10 minutes, unless, unless, well, we'll get to that, for that's the story.

As a Chicago Park District program, the lessons were free of course, the costumes for the end of the class show were to be provided by the class member's families. Remember this point. It comes into the story later.

Mary and Anne were from a large family for the time, six in, say 1975, when Anne might have been in, at best 3rd or 4th grade, at best, and Mary would have been in 5th or 6th grade, at best, but certainly with a better sense of consequences than Anne. Mary also had perhaps, a little more interest in dancing.

For you see, on that short trip from their house to the dancing class their was, a potential for - diversion! Yes, diversion I tell you!

And this diversion took the form of the home of the two girls' true and dear friends' Ann and Peggy. Ann was Mary's age and Peggy was Anne's age, or a little younger.

Now this is a true story and the names have not been changed to protect the innocent, or not so innocent in this case. So we must bear with a little confusion. Anne lives in the house up the hill a little and takes dancing lessons with Mary. Well, she is supposed to take dancing lessons with Mary. Ann lives in the house down the hill at the end of the long block on the corner that Mary and Anne are supposed to pass on the way to dancing lessons and not enter once the have turned the corner and are just out of sight of their mother, who I will call simply "Mom".

I think, given that I have revealed already that this is a true story that it would be just too much to reveal whether I called this woman "Mom" in those days too, as it would rip away any semblance or pretense of anonymity that the characters Anne, Mary, Ann and Peggy might have as the story goes on.

You can grant me that can't you?

So, to Anne's credit, she did attend the very first dance class with Mary. She absolutely did. She met the dancing teacher. She learned some dance moves. She lined up with the other girls and listened to them start to follow the teacher's movements as so many classes each fall had to the ever so moving and thrilling strains of that thrilling popular tune Alley Cat.

And Anne was indeed moved. It is indeed unfortunate that history does not record Anne's comments to Mary about the class she had just attended on the way back home, because Anne is one of the naturally funniest people in the universe. Especially, especially, when she has an audience capable of understanding her special blend of irony and wit.

If they, and the temptation by now would have been irresistible, stopped at the home of Ann and Peggy to describe exactly how strange their dance class experience had been, and they would have stopped in any case to avoid getting home early enough to get drafted into making one of the delegate-able typical Irish-American dinners so popular with their mother (such as kraft dinner and hot dogs, or roast chicken, onion salt and green beans (salt on the chicken before roasting), or broiled hamburgers, baked fries, and applesauce, or, a ham slice, corn, and another boiled veggie (ever wonder why PBS has never featured a series called "The Great Cooks of Ireland?))

Fortunately, there is no need for historical veracity here:

Anne: That is the stupidest thing I have ever done.
Mary: You mean intentionally.
Anne: You agreed not to bring up the time I let Anna cut my hair ever again!
Mary: And you believed me?
Anne: I believed that these dancing lessons might be good for something, so far all
they are good for is getting us out of the house. O.K. that is something.
Mary: Look, its just the first day, things will get better.
Anne: Things will NOT get better. Did you hear that song they had us dancing to?
I think I heard it at a funeral once. And Mom is supposed to make part of
our costume. you trust her to do that? Mom can not sew.
Mary: That's just a practice song. No way will we be doing it for the final recital.
Besides, we'll get Grandma to do the sewing.
Anne: Like she has time after cleaning up after 9 cats, 3 St. Bernards, a mangy
Collie, and Grandpa.
Mary: The cats don't count, they live under the front porch, Aunt Sally & Aunt Laura
help with the dogs, and Grandpa is self-cleaning and still works. She only has
to sew on some reindeer tails and there are three months to go.
Anne: Maybe, I'll go again, but you better not tell anyone at school that I'm in it
and if I don't go anymore you better not tell Mom!
Mary: You're kidding right? I would never violate The Code!

The Code: Survival among the siblings created the code and caused the defeat and retreat of many a babysitter who hoped to threaten them into submission.

Simply put: Though shalt not squeal. Whenever possible, though shalt not cause the
wrath of parental units to descend upon us. If such should befall you
Though shall do your best to take it for the team.

The effect: For Mary, Anne and their siblings, adult wrath of all kinds was avoided. This also made them popular with the friends to whom they extended this treatment.

Somehow though, Anne never made it back to dancing class. Instead she stopped a Peggy's house and played with Ann and Peggy and Mary would tell her about what happened at dance class. As the weeks went by Anne's worst suspicions were confirmed.

There was no new music. They would have one number in the Christmas show. They would be dancing reindeer. The curtain would open and they would do a simple number where they danced in circles and from side to side in reindeer costumes to the tune of "Alley Cat".

What "Alley Cat" had to do with Christmas neither of the girls could figure out. Their best bet was that the show was originally a Halloween show that had been pushed back to Christmas, but that while the costumes were changed, the music was not because the de-dee-dee de de de de dee de de beat of Alley Cat was impossible for young dancers NOT to hear.

Also, the girls, any boys in the class dropped out within two classes, usually, had only to change from buying black leotards to brown leotards and from making long cat tails to short reindeer tails. The noses were painted on about the same, except for those who wanted to do gender crossing and pretend to be Rudolph.

Through all of this time, Anne remained unconcerned about the number of practices she was missing. Sometimes at Ann and Peggy's house she would ask Mary to run through the steps and Mary would make it looks so easy that Anne thought, shoot, I can do that, say "Thanks, I can catch up if I have to" and go back to playing with Peggy.

Mary: Ann, I'm worried about Anne, she's not worried at all that my Mom and Dad
are going to figure out that she's not going to class.
Ann: Well, why should she worry? They're not going to see her dance, so what's
the problem. She just gets sick on show night and that's it.
Mary: That won't work! My Mom and Dad will feel like they'll have to apologize that
she didn't make it, and after making that costume, Mom just might Make her
go thinking its just stage fright.
Ann: You'd better make her go to a few practices.
Mary: I think she's scared that she's missed so many they won't let her come back
and will call home.
Ann: Oops. So She's going to have to just show up for the show and fake it?
Mary: Yes.
Ann: Well, don't tell her beforehand, but look for us in the top row, he he.
Mary: No!
Ann: If you think I'm going to miss this. This will be better than the hair
cutting incident.

Just like in a fairy tale things got worse. Grandma had to visit a sick relative. Mom had to buy the leotards and came back with black ones. Then made the reindeer tails without actually looking at a picture. She made them out of stockings. Fortunately, the reindeer antlers were purchased. Nonetheless the afternoon before the show, the girls were shown the leotards with tails permanently sewn on.

They screamed in horror. Windows broke for blocks around.

The local news attributed it to a weather anomaly.

Anne: Mom! Those aren't Reindeer tails, those are Rat tails! We'll look like
Mutant Rat-Reindeer. We're supposed to have cute white tails. (Almost crying.)
Marye: Mom! You've got to fix them. Ann's right! These are awful.
Mom: But Reindeer are like horses, don't horses have long tails!
Mary: Not LONG THIN RAT TAILS! Besides, Santa's Reindeer have cute white
cotton tails, all the girls agreed!
Mom: I'm sorry girls, but you didn't tell me that. (History is uncertain
of this detail.)
Anne: But don't you see, with black instead of brown costumes, we will REALLY look
like Christmas Rats!
Mom: We can't do anything about the leotards except maybe give you red collars.
Then with two of you, you will look special. Maybe I can pin the tails
in a circle or something and stuff them into a white sock...

So this was done and our two reindeer now had stubby tails that were quite fat, but they now no longer looked quite so much like rats and they were a little mollified. Until...

Dad: Good news girls, I talked to Grandma, Uncle Ron, Aunt Sally, Uncle Neil,
Dave and a few other friends and drummed up a real audience for you
tonight. With their families I'll bet you'll have at least 30 people there
to see you dance tonight! Plus the six of us not dancing of course.
Mary: (To herself) Plus Peggy and Ann, 38, plus anyone they told, that makes,
easily a thousand.
Anne: Screams and falls to the floor attempting to simulate the onset of a grave
illness.


Two hours later, fed and a little nervous, Mary and Anne are dropped off at the entry for the "backstage" of the performance area. Since the announcement of the potential attendance of 30 relatives Anne realizes that she is well and truly trapped and has spent the last two hours in the basement, without the benefit of a recording of the dreaded Alley Cat, trying to learn the routine.

Her one advantage is that Mary knows it by heart by now as it has been drummed into her until she can do it in her sleep. So she sings the tune as they go along. Two hours is not enough time for Anne at her state of panic to learn the routine. She has never tried to learn a routine before. But she does learn how to do each of the moves, she just cannot get what order they are in.

Walking in Anne has two strategies. One - not be noticed and two - get on stage.

Anne does not want to be noticed because if she is noticed the Dance Program Director might not let her go on. She decides to hide in the darkest corner of the room with her head half hidden and her tail completely out of sight as she knows her tail is completely in opposition to strategy number one - not be noticed.

Mary on the other hand bravely tries to draw fire by being noticeable. And of course she does, as most of the girls can't stop themselves from laughing at her tail, even the nice ones. They all like Mary, she's that kind of girl, nice to everyone, supportive, always something nice to say to everyone, but even with the foreknowledge that Mary's Mom is a terrible sewer, the reality is beyond their comprehension and trying not to laugh just makes it worse.

What saves it of course, is that Mary sees the humor in it.

Mary: You should see what it started as. She took a stocking thinking that reindeer had long thin tails. My sister Anne said I looked like a Mutant Reindeer-Rat.

After that the room exploded with laughter, even Anne couldn't help laughing, the pent up tension inside her bringing tears to her eyes as she looked at the clock and noticed that the show was due to start in two minutes. Just then, the Dance Program Director walked back into the room and called the girls to attention. It was nearly their turn. The younger classes had finished and it was time for them to go on.

Dance Program Director: Girls! Time for you to go on. I want you to know that I am very proud of each and every one of you. You have all worked very hard and you know just what to do. SO, go out to do it and have fun. For some reason we seem to have a particularly big audience tonight, one of our biggest ever. Don't let that throw you. They are here to see you succeed, so pay attention to each other and not them. At the same time, don't forget to smile at each other. After all, you know each other very well and you can count on each other if you are not sure what to do.

If so, just follow the person ahead of you or to either side! Now break a leg!

Line up in one minute.

She left the room and Anne took that moment to sneak up next to and behind Mary as close as she could in line. The clock was ticking. The Dance Program Director came back in went to the curtain, began to open it, looked across her girls smiling, saw Anne, frowned and then hurried to her and said:

Dance Program Director: WHO are YOU? And what are you doing in line with my class, in a costume?
Anne: I'm in your class!
Dance Program Director: No you're not! I've never seen you before, I have no idea
who you are!
Anne: But I'm in your class, I'm on your list, look at it, my name is Anne, it's
on it just before my sister Mary here.
Dance Program Director: Why so it was, I scratched it out when you never came back,
but I can't let you go out there if you haven't been here,
you don't know the steps.
Anne: I've been sick, but Mary's been teaching me at home, and my whole family is
out there, praying that I'm well enough to do this.
Dance Program Director: Well I'm sorry, but I pray that they'll understand that
I can't let you go out there without seeing you do
this right at least once and we just don't have the time.
I AM sorry to disapoint you, but it's just not fair to the
other girls.

And Anne, terrified, sat down, weeping as the other girls went out. Then the Dance Program Director slid out the side curtain to announce the girls and start the record.

Then, terrified of what her parents would say and do, Anne did something that would change her life. She got up, peeked though the curtain, saw that the lights were still down and slipped into the back row of reindeer, not noticing that she had ripped the seam holding the sock onto her "Rat tail" somewhat.

Then Alley Cat began and the lights went up to vigorous applause. The crowd was larger than in her worst nightmares and all of the girls froze for about 4 bars, enough that the Dance Program Director apologized for some "Technical difficulties" and reintroduced the act in blackout again, this time bringing up the lights before the music in hopes of fooling the audience that she was at fault for the incomprehensible stares.

The second introduction worked and it gave Anne a head start as at first she remembered what Mary had taught her. This lasted a glorious 45 seconds, of reindeer dancing to the left, to the right, spinning to the left, spinning to the right, then moving in a box so that those who had been in the back of the formation were now in the very front of the audience.

Two things happened then.

One, Anne ran out of choreography without an example right in front of her to copy from so she was forced to look to either side for help.

Two, she was now blocking Angel, the girl who for the last 6 weeks had been in the front of the pack at this point and whose mother could not get the great picture of her that they had been planning.

Three, this very same girl, Angel noticed something funny about Anne's reindeer tail, it seemed to be having a stitch problem. Surely it would be better if that hanging white string were removed. So, when the reindeer all danced in place in a circle to the right, the little minx held on to that thread and let it unwind, undoing the thread holding the sock in place and before the entire audience, dead center, down front, in front of 30 relatives, poor Anne who appeared to be dancing pretty well thus far, was transformed into a Mutant Rat-Reindeer.

Without Anne's knowledge, at first.

So, if you will excuse the term, seamless was her transition. And so clearly was the transformation the work of Angel, the reindeer behind Anne, that it was mistaken for plot, and from then on all eyes were focused on Anne to see what would become of this poor bespelled Mutant Reindeer-Rat.

What became of her was that she immediately began to lose her reindeer powers to dance.

For as Anne reached the end of her memory of the choreography she began to do every dance move increasingly behind the rest of the dancers, with the gap increasing as time and her panic went on.

When the reindeer turned left, Anne turned left, just a second too late. When the reindeer hopped backwards, Anne stuck in front, caught on a St. Nick of a moment too late and hopped back with so much enthusiasm that she almost knocked the girl behind her, Angel, into the closed curtain, again, this was mistaken for plot. The audience roared. Anne, thinking this reaction was due solely to her inept dancing, was really shaken, but bravely went on, determined to follow the advice given earlier and ignore the audience.

The next time the group twirled full circle, Anne was so determined to dance dramatically, Anne's mutant tail elevated and whipped Angel in the face, hard. She screamed, the audience clapped and laughed again, now convinced that Anne was the star in some little morality play. And Anne began to suspect that the laughter was due to a costume flaw involving her tail. This was confirmed when she spotted the white sock on the floor where she had been standing in front of Angel previously.

Could Angel have? Nooo....

Meanwhile, Mary, a little behind and to the right, watched what was going on with growing concern. Angel could be a vindictive little soul and was not beyond starting a throw down cat fight in front of everyone if this went on any longer. At the same time, Mary knew who the audience would favor. What to do?

Then the reindeer did a block dance again. This finally put Angel in the front row and Mary near her. Angel noticed that Mary had a similar tail to Anne's and put two and two together and she ripped Mary's sock off with glee as the audience whistled.

Mary: (whisper) This means war Angel!
Angel: (whisper) I'm not afraid of you!
Mary: (whisper) You should be worried about the 40 relatives I have in the audience
if I were you, I'd be thinking of a way to give this fairy tale a
happy ending.
Angel: (whisper) 40! You're lying!
Mary: (whisper) Unfortunately not. Just look at their noses. The really tall boys
are her brothers. They are having fun, now...
Angel: EEK!
Mary: (Tail undone - perfectly timed rotation of tail) "Whack"! Think about it!

At this point Angel's confidence had fallen a bit. Realizing that in front of the audience she had removed two tails, and was seen, as the "bad reindeer", she had only one option.

With the end of Alley Cat nearing Angel moved out of position in front of the dancing group and did her best "remorseful" dance which ended with her on her knees facing the side of the stage on which Mary and Anne were "Dancing".

Mary was now doing her best to follow Anne poorly following the other dancers since M was now also a Mutant Rat-Reindeer and so unable to dance in time to the music. She grabbed Anne once Angel was kneeling and brought her to the front to see what she was up to. Angel then, brilliantly, ripped her own tail off, split it in half, and offered it to the two reindeer, who rejoiced in an ersatz "Snoopy Dance" bearing no resemblance to anything taught at the park or the timing of the music.

Mary then ripped off Anne's tail. Anne ripped off Mary's tail. And they raised them up as if to crown Angel for her kindness. Instead, they tied the two together which made them long enough to tie around Angel's waste making Angel a Mutant Rat-Reindeer just as "Alley Cat" ended.

The audience roared with laughter and applause.

The dancers all took a bow together.

Then the audience, being mostly relatives, called "Mary and Anne, Mary and Anne" and to the Dance Program Director's dismay, they came forward to take bows. But then Anne went back and pulled Angel to the front, and to her surprise, the audience, thinking her shenanigans were all part of the act, gave her big applause as well. Thus redeeming Angel in the eyes of her mother. So she joined the three in one final bow.

Then the Dance Program Director having had enough, cut the lights.

Wisely, Mary and Anne did not return backstage.


In the car on the way home. A short but revealing ride.

Mom: Huh, ha, Huh. Ha, Huh, Ha. Anne, You, Ha, You, Anne, Ha, You, Ha, You, Ha didn't ha, go, to a, ha, huh, single, ha, practice, did you?
Anne: Um, I went to the first one. Does that count?
Mom: If that, ha, huh, wasn't, ha, so, funny, ha, seeing, hu, you, ha, a, ha, a step, behind everyone, ha, else, you'd hah, be, in big, trouble, now. Whew, ooh, lord.


And so the story ends, Anne lived happily ever after. Except that she was doomed to hear this story over and over for the rest of her natural life, because it is one of Mary's favorites, and it is better when Mary tells it.

Except when Anne tells it, of course.


And of course now it is on the internet, where her friends and co-workers at the Park District may see it and understand why she always uses Alley Cat for the Fall Introduction to Dance classes she teaches now.

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Peter, Chief Editor and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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