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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

5 Ways To Reduce Gas Guzzling In Light Of "Worst President Ever" Bush's New Auto Fuel Standards


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  1. Stop the drinking the 97 Octane Shots during Happy Hour at Stumpy's Truck Stop and Redneck Bar.
  2. Get American Automakers to rethink that whole - "Naw, only geeks would buy electric cars" idea.
  3. Slot machines and dice tables on all public buses and trains to build transit use and create homes for permanent moving craps games.
  4. Baywatch Babes on all Transit Cards.
  5. Cars to have solar panels and sails. Auto foredecks for bikini sunbathing still under debate. While this measure will slow traffic, it may cause accidents.

Give up on Pappy Reagan's idea of not aiding Transit Operations funding with Federal Operations Dollars. The idea to cut Federal Operating Existence was a terrible one then (late 1980's) and it is one now. The theory was that states would pick up the difference, but they did not, at least not in proportion to the funds that were eliminated. The difference in the Chicago region in the years since the cuts is well over a Billion Dollars and climbing.

So instead, our own federal Government drove millions of people off transit and into toxic emitting autos. Wonder if the auto industry lobbyists had anything to do with that idea? 

Moving people in large urban areas to public transportation, preferably hydrogen buses, is an extremely cost-effective way, to reduce toxic emissions, reduce asthma causing smog, and reduce greenhouse gasses.

New Fuel Rules To Go Into Effect Story On CNN

Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos

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