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CNN.Com Live has just projected Barack Obama as the 44th President of the United States of America. As I type this, I am watching the reaction live in Grant Park through teary eyes, remembering another election year of hope 40 years ago, when two great charismatic leaders, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and Senator Robert Kennedy were both stolen from us by crazy assassins.
Those were different times. The U.S. Secret Service was not as good as its job then as it is now, but still the shadow of those times haunts me. The tears I cried as an 8-year old in Chatham flow again in joy, just as I see them now live in the eyes of the Reverend Jesse Jackson's eyes on my computer and I can't help wondering if we are sharing some of the same thoughts.
It's been a long road since 1968. Suddenly the hope that was stolen from so many of us so long ago has been returned with the Election of Senator Barack Obama to the Office of President of the United States of America.
This election has not been about race, it has not been about addressing the wrongs of the past, but for those of us who remember with sadness, with great sadness the tragedies of the past, there is a meaning in this victory, beyond all that was said, that is difficult to express, but it is in the tears that stream down my face now.
There is much facing the country now. What will the new President-Elect do to prepare for his first term? How will he organize all his supporters found through the internet to help support his new initiatives and remind the new congress of the depth of his support? What new tools will he bring to the forefront? What will our new future look like?
We all have high expectations. We will all have to be prepared to give him a great deal of support. Are we ready to face the reality of the mess that we have been left? Are we ready to bite the bullet and dig in? Time will tell.
I am now hearing the concession speech of Senator John McCain. Somewhat earlier than I expected. It is a fine speech. Recognizing the historical moment, remembering the death of Obama's Grandmother, and pledging both his support and asking for the support of the Republicans in helping Obama in his Presidency.
The crowd is listening and reacting mostly politely. The negative reaction to the mention of Gov. Palin is perhaps to be expected. It is a Chicago crowd and many women felt insulted by her approach thinking that she was portraying a sub-intelligent model of a woman. I disagree. I think she was doing her best with the hand and preparation she was dealt with. But I am certainly glad and relieved she is not a heartbeat away from the Presidency.
Obama's acceptance speech: will it be regarded as one of the great American Political Speeches? I think so. I happened to be chatting online with a young friend from the south who had bought into all of the McCain fear propaganda about Obama and was basically afraid of him. I understood her fear.
Obama does represent change. Real change and McCain set him up as the boogeyman for many Americans. Connecting him with terrorists. Calling him a socialist. Trying to make people thing a Christian was a Muslim. Making people suspicious about where his money was coming from in one of the first true grass roots fundraising campaigns in history.
Her fear was natural. In many ways, his speech was meant for her as much as it was for any of us. For the changes Obama wants to make, he wants a united America. A healed America. A Nation in which the divisive politics of fear in which people thing an African-american candidate can win only if stupid people, or poor people vote for him is one of the past.
In the end, she was willing to pray for Obama. That was a lot I think. I think some of the fear was gone. But her disappointment like the disappointment of many, was real and would not go in a day, or after one speech. Actions, not words will be the key for voters like her.
I found Obama's speech to be stirring and exactly right. It was thrilling. A call just like Kennedy's to action. A reminder of the work ahead, not waiting for his inaugural address, but to say off the bat, we need to be ready to work now for change, acknowledging the difficulty of the task ahead, setting the tenor of the administration. And the theme. "Yes, we can."
He quoted Lincoln, he sounded like King, he looked like Kennedy, he was change embodied. And his crowd was America. His audience in Chicago was every age and color, more women than men, more white than black, more young than old. Let's face it, you had to be willing to stand till 11 pm just to see him. That favors the young.
Yes, we can. And in the end, he warned our enemies and embraced our friends. A perfect speech I think. And he reminded us that the win was not his win, but a win for us, and that he now had to earn the job.
I think I'll like this President a lot more than the last few. If I don't, you'll be the first to know. Maybe the VP will give me some material...
Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com
Labels: American Life, Best Of, CNN, Election 2008, Elections, Obama, Politics, Questions, Time Sensitive
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Time for some Easter jokes. Some of these have been culled from sources and fan mail, others I made up. Others have been twisted from jokes about other species.
Happy Easter! Perhaps I will do another post before we get there. Feel free to add your own Easter Joke or Jokes in the comments section. Just because I moderate the comments doesn't mean that I don't accept nearly all of them!
Here we go:
Q: What did we call the Easter Bunny the year he hopped in a long sweltering Easter parade?
A: A Hot, cross, bunny.
Q: What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A: A receding hareline.
Q: What do you call a bunny with a large brain?
A: An egghead.
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny rubbing his head?
A: Because he had a eggache! (headache)
Q: Do you know how the Easter Bunny stays in shape?
A: Hareobics.
Q: What's another name for it?
A: Eggcercise!
Q: Why does the Tooth Fairy claim that the Easter Bunny was self-centered?
A: He says the Easter Bunny is eggocentric, but I think that's stretching the tooth.
Q: Why did the Easter Bunny hop down the road?
A: He wanted to make a movie with Bob Hope.
Q: Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road?
A: Because it was the chicken's day off.
Q: What do you give a 500-hundred-pound bunny rabbit?
A: Anything it wants!
Q: Where can a 500-hundred-pound bunny rabbit live?
A: Anywhere it wants!
Q: What goes chomp, chomp, chomp, SPROING, chomp, chomp, chomp, SPROING?
A: A 500-hundred-pound bunny rabbit trying to combine diet and excercise.
Q: What's the difference between The Easter Bunny and a lumberjack?
A: One chews leaves and hops, the other hews, chops and leaves.
Q: Why do 500-hundred-pound bunny rabbits paint their toenails different colors?
A: So that they can hide in baskets of jelly beans.
Q: Why did the magician have to cancel his show?
A: He'd just washed his hare and couldn't do a thing with it.
Q: Why was PETA so upset with the magician after he canceled his show?
A: They thought it was because instead of having a split hair, he'd split a hare during his act.
Q: How did the Magician make up for it?
A: He adopted the stage name PETA Cottontail and promised to only to use artificial hares in his act from then on. As he became older, he grew bald and became famous for his waist-long wigs of pink and white. That's right, he became known as PETA Cottontail with the Bunny Trail. Eventually he began to do magic tricks with the wigs themselves.
Q: Why did the Easter Bunny want to see the magician's act so badly?
A: He was a little down and heard the magician's act was hare raising.
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it!!
Q: What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
A: It's been nice gnawing at you.
Q: After Easter is over what kind of drink does the Easter Bunny like to kick back and relax with?
A: Hops, though sometimes for a change he'll embrace a Wild Turkey.
Q: What do you call the Easter Bunny the day after Easter?
A
: Tired.
and the last joke in this group:
Q: How does Easter end?
A: With an 'r'.
Hoppy Easter!
Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com
Labels: Easter, Fiction, Holiday, Humor, Jokes, Pass This Along, Puns, Questions, songs, Tall Tales, Wordplay
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Commentary: Newsflash! The Peter Files Blog of Comedy Announces its 2008 Primary Political Endorsement
As regular readers may be aware these comedy, satire, joke, commentary and video pages have long engaged in politically based humor, much of it aimed squarely at the cucumbent President of the United States of America, George Herbert Walker Bush.
Because of that, the fact that this "noble" blog might actually follow in the footsteps of Ted and Caroline Kennedy in making an official primary election endorsement, may come to no surprise to them.
Surprising instead, may be our contention that we can predict with absolute certainty that our endorsement will be just as valid after the primary elections, as before, because of our special tracking of the humor pulse of Americans during these last three years.
We can also predict with confidence that if large numbers of Americans fendorsement in the general election this fall, will have a positive impact on World opinion of the United States of America and of America in General.
If you saw the State of the Union Address made by President Bush last night you could not help but be struck with the depth of the problems facing out nation. While not facing disaster, or a World War, we nonetheless face crises that require teamwork and ideas from all sectors from our society. These serious problems also require national leadership from a President capable of intelligent leadership uniting both sides of the aisle.
Do you know enough about the candidates to say that any of them have those essential leadership qualities? So many do not. This is why we at the Peter Files Blog of Comedy have decided to step out of our role as humorists, satirists and comedians and write a bit about these elections and take the rare step of making an endorsement.
In this, we are reminded of the fact that we are all Americans and in times like these the one thing we need to do is take a hard look at all the candidates, and for many of us this might mean making a hard choice, even though may go against the grain, even though it might make you or us uncomfortable, even though it may even go against generations of practice among our/your family and friends value and practices, in the end, if you are convinced you are doing the right thing, the conscientious thing, at least for the office of President, you may find peace and satisfaction ultimately in your decision that you have not known before.
In considering following the endorsement of The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, you may well ask yourself, why should I listen to the advice of a small but lonely voice on the internet? Especially one so often full of satire, humor and jokes and rarely engaged in well documented political discourse?
Why? Because you can. You may disagree. But in this age of the Internet, where so many of us effectively have our own printing presses with the ability to print our own version of Poor Richard's Almanac, or any other political idea via our Constitutionally protected freedom of speech via the Bill of Rights we now have the ability to find like minds is unsurpassed in human history. Perhaps the ideas here, which stand or fall on their own merit as all ideas should, are ones that will resonate within you. We hope so. If not, please feel free to comment if you feel your ideas are better. Share your ideas instead. I try to check for comments every day.
The only comments we edit out here, are those with obscenity (avoid the 7+ words you can't say on television, this is a safe for family blog) or those that are robot generated spam. Feel free to include your blog's address at the end of your comment. Just have a relative comment please.
You have the freedom, and the right, to add to this discussion, intelligently, where you can, or add a relevant joke. Yes, this is still a comedy blog after all, but let us not forget, even Ben Franklin was known to crack a joke or two, but don't think we're claiming his level of genius.
The answer for why you should consider our endorsement is that, as small a voice as this blog may be, if you listen to your conscience, if you truly examine the reasoning here, then take a hard look at the candidates, and actually look at their credentials and what they really offer the country, your choice in this matter will become clear to you.
You may follow our endorsement solely because you think it is clearly the only right moral and honest, responsible, thing to do. It certainly passes the philosopher Immanuel Kant's categorical imperative test: essentially, an action is acceptable if you yourself can live with the consequences if everyone else does it too. There are certainly those who would agree that this would be true.
You may will recognize, as we do that it has already become clear that in this election year that there truly is one clear choice, one moral imperative that all responsible Americans must choose when their primary election comes up, even when they fear, as many do, that in following our endorsement, what we believe is the best and most patriotic choice for these perilous times, the choice needed to tell the world that America, regardless of whatever mistakes we have made, or have not made in the last years is at heart a stronger country than it was before with the ability to choose a leader that represents of our nation.
Our Endorsement:
With this in mind, the Peter Files Comedy Blog Officially Endorses for the 2008 Primary and General Presidential Elections:
That You VOTE!
Believe it or not, we don't want to proscribe who you should vote for. Naturally, some of us have strong preferences. But please, just vote. Encourage others to do the same. IF you are one of those who can vote but have given up on the process or have never voted before and are eligible to vote please do what it takes to vote this year.
We hope that you will also take the time to listen to the candidates in the primary elections, and make an informed decision at the polls, even if it means crossing party lines (regardless of which way you cross - if you feel you should do so this election).
Note: Regular readers of this blog might assume that this blog would endorse either ***Senator Obama*** or Senator Clinton automatically and that they would be safe from our reporting of the kind of jokes, jibes and jabs that have been floating around President Bush since this blog was first published.
We would like to think that with incompetence, bad luck and slow news days, comes satire, bad jokes, and funny videos, and so, whomever becomes the next President of these United States in January, (or February, September. whatever of 2009), the clock will be ticking until the first really bad post-election jokes start to hit.
Of course, some Presidents of the United States of America have been easier to make fun of after awhile in office than others.
(Tricky Dicky Nicky, NIM+, I've fallen, oops, oops, Billy beer, killer rabbit, Bedtime for Bonzo, blue dress, cigar, killer pretzels, pronunciation, "See George, See George Read, See Buildings Fall, See George Read After Buildings Fall, Why George?, Why George, Why?, This is Iraq. This is Afghanistan. These are WMD's. This is Osama. See George look for WMD's instead of Osama. Why George, Why?)
Come to think of it, except for Bush senior, they've all been pretty easy to make fun of. Even taciturn President Calvin Coolidge and he he didn't say anything.
My favorite famous and I think true Calvin Coolidge joke was:
Lady: I have a bet with my friend that I can get you to say more than three words.
Coolidge: You lose.
+ Hoping to boost consumer confidence in a post-oil OPEC huge inflationary price increase period President Gerald Ford started a publicity campaign around millions of small red and white WIN buttons standing for Whip Inflation Now. Unfortunately, almost immediately cynics began turning the buttons upside down chanting NIM! NIM! NIM! No Immediate Miracles.
So, The Peter Files Blog of Comedy is not endorsing a person this year.
In fact, barring mental lapses or late discoveries of genocidal tendencies of Presidential Candidates in the General Election we intend to do our best to stay out of the actual endorsement process of an individual. That is not the same thing as even coverage. We are a comedy and commentary blog and write about whatever we want to. Period.
However, the discussion of this or that issue in re a specific candidate may come up from time to time if it seems illuminating, or funny, or both.
What we are doing is sincerely encouraging everyone to vote, regardless of political preference, except pseudo-Nazi's, racists, terrorists of every kind, and haters in general, sorry, hate is just antithetical to the underlying idea of a comedy blog, even we draw the line there.
You'd think I wouldn't have to say that, but last night Art Jones, one of the Republican Candidates for the 3rd Congressional District Race in Illinois against Democratic Dan Lipinski, no relation to Tara Lipinski, admitted last night on PBS TV's WTTW-Chicago's Chicago Tonight, that he had a past as a neo-nazi in the 70's and that he was a strong supporter of "White Power". See his website for details. Yuch. Better yet, don't.
This shows the importance of knowing who you are voting for. Imagine going into the polls as a Republican, seeing two names on the ballot, Arthur Jones and Michael Hawkins. Not knowing which of the two to vote for, which would you pick?
We also wish to strongly encourage you to help those who wish to vote, to vote early in areas where early or advance voting is possible, such as or like in Cook County Illinois.
Peter voted today, boy was that cool. No line. The Illinois Elections are next Tuesday, Thursday is the last day for pre-voting in Illinois.
And if you are registered to vote, and don't because you are too darn lazy? Then you gentle reader, should ask yourself: "What's wrong with me anyway?"
Note: Those with serious medical conditions, like depression, anxiety disorders, and other serious medical problems should never consider themselves lazy. But you may be able to get more help from local election officials than you realize in getting assistance in voting via an absentee ballot. Really. But see if you can't get yourself to the polls or get an absentee ballot, you'll be glad you did, even if you "cancel out" the vote of that irritating jerk across the hall.
Thank you for considering our recommendation for this election year. On behalf of the Peter Files Blog of Comedy... I remain,
Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com
Labels: American Life, Commentary, Elections, Politics, Questions, Recommendations
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Why is it that The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire, Jokes, Commentary and Videos get so many hits about sharks?
I've mentioned all the big celebrities, but I've got more hits about sharks than any of them. Wait, Robin Williams and Abbot and Costello might be exceptions.
Thanks for all the visits lately. Vists are way up over last year, please keep subscribing and telling your friends about us.
Everybody laughs at kumquats! Why is that?
Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com
Labels: Blog Stats, Celebrities, Questions
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