Easter Jokes I Should Have Posted Last Week
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Past time for some Easter jokes. Some of these have been culled from sources and fan mail, others I made up. Others have been twisted from jokes about other species.
Happy Easter! Perhaps I will do another post before we get there. Feel free to add your own Easter Joke or Jokes in the comments section. Just because I moderate the comments doesn't mean that I don't accept nearly all of them!
Here we go:
Q: What did we call the Easter Bunny the year he hopped in a long sweltering Easter parade?
A: A Hot, cross, bunny.
Q: What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A: A receding hareline.
Q: What do you call a bunny with a large brain?
A: An egghead.
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny rubbing his head?
A: Because he had a eggache! (headache)
Q: Do you know how the Easter Bunny stays in shape?
A: Hareobics.
Q: What's another name for it?
A: Eggcercise!
Q: Why does the Tooth Fairy claim that the Easter Bunny was self-centered?
A: He says the Easter Bunny is eggocentric, but I think that's stretching the tooth.
Q: Why did the Easter Bunny hop down the road?
A: He wanted to make a movie with Bob Hope.
Q: Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road?
A: Because it was the chicken's day off.
Q: What do you give a 500-hundred-pound bunny rabbit?
A: Anything it wants!
Q: Where can a 500-hundred-pound bunny rabbit live?
A: Anywhere it wants!
Q: What goes chomp, chomp, chomp, SPROING, chomp, chomp, chomp, SPROING?
A: A 500-hundred-pound bunny rabbit trying to combine diet and excercise.
Q: What's the difference between The Easter Bunny and a lumberjack?
A: One chews leaves and hops, the other hews, chops and leaves.
Q: Why do 500-hundred-pound bunny rabbits paint their toenails different colors?
A: So that they can hide in baskets of jelly beans.
Q: Why did the magician have to cancel his show?
A: He'd just washed his hare and couldn't do a thing with it.
Q: Why was PETA so upset with the magician after he canceled his show?
A: They thought it was because instead of having a split hair, he'd split a hare during his act.
Q: How did the Magician make up for it?
A: He adopted the stage name PETA Cottontail and promised to only to use artificial hares in his act from then on. As he became older, he grew bald and became famous for his waist-long wigs of pink and white. That's right, he became known as PETA Cottontail with the Bunny Trail. Eventually he began to do magic tricks with the wigs themselves.
Q: Why did the Easter Bunny want to see the magician's act so badly?
A: He was a little down and heard the magician's act was hare raising.
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it!!
Q: What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
A: It's been nice gnawing at you.
Q: After Easter is over what kind of drink does the Easter Bunny like to kick back and relax with?
A: Hops, though sometimes for a change he'll embrace a Wild Turkey.
Q: What do you call the Easter Bunny the day after Easter?
A
: Tired.
and the last joke in this group:
Q: How does Easter end?
A: With an 'r'.
This is a reprise of a post from last year, but I have some new readers now who haven't seen it. Loks like Easter put me ver the 60,000 visitor mark. Hurray!
Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com
Labels: Easter, Repeat
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Time for some Easter jokes. Some of these have been culled from sources and fan mail, others I made up. Others have been twisted from jokes about other species.
Happy Easter! Perhaps I will do another post before we get there. Feel free to add your own Easter Joke or Jokes in the comments section. Just because I moderate the comments doesn't mean that I don't accept nearly all of them!
Here we go:
Q: What did we call the Easter Bunny the year he hopped in a long sweltering Easter parade?
A: A Hot, cross, bunny.
Q: What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A: A receding hareline.
Q: What do you call a bunny with a large brain?
A: An egghead.
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny rubbing his head?
A: Because he had a eggache! (headache)
Q: Do you know how the Easter Bunny stays in shape?
A: Hareobics.
Q: What's another name for it?
A: Eggcercise!
Q: Why does the Tooth Fairy claim that the Easter Bunny was self-centered?
A: He says the Easter Bunny is eggocentric, but I think that's stretching the tooth.
Q: Why did the Easter Bunny hop down the road?
A: He wanted to make a movie with Bob Hope.
Q: Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road?
A: Because it was the chicken's day off.
Q: What do you give a 500-hundred-pound bunny rabbit?
A: Anything it wants!
Q: Where can a 500-hundred-pound bunny rabbit live?
A: Anywhere it wants!
Q: What goes chomp, chomp, chomp, SPROING, chomp, chomp, chomp, SPROING?
A: A 500-hundred-pound bunny rabbit trying to combine diet and excercise.
Q: What's the difference between The Easter Bunny and a lumberjack?
A: One chews leaves and hops, the other hews, chops and leaves.
Q: Why do 500-hundred-pound bunny rabbits paint their toenails different colors?
A: So that they can hide in baskets of jelly beans.
Q: Why did the magician have to cancel his show?
A: He'd just washed his hare and couldn't do a thing with it.
Q: Why was PETA so upset with the magician after he canceled his show?
A: They thought it was because instead of having a split hair, he'd split a hare during his act.
Q: How did the Magician make up for it?
A: He adopted the stage name PETA Cottontail and promised to only to use artificial hares in his act from then on. As he became older, he grew bald and became famous for his waist-long wigs of pink and white. That's right, he became known as PETA Cottontail with the Bunny Trail. Eventually he began to do magic tricks with the wigs themselves.
Q: Why did the Easter Bunny want to see the magician's act so badly?
A: He was a little down and heard the magician's act was hare raising.
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it!!
Q: What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
A: It's been nice gnawing at you.
Q: After Easter is over what kind of drink does the Easter Bunny like to kick back and relax with?
A: Hops, though sometimes for a change he'll embrace a Wild Turkey.
Q: What do you call the Easter Bunny the day after Easter?
A
: Tired.
and the last joke in this group:
Q: How does Easter end?
A: With an 'r'.
Hoppy Easter!
Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com
Labels: Easter, Fiction, Holiday, Humor, Jokes, Pass This Along, Puns, Questions, songs, Tall Tales, Wordplay
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Here's an Easter joke with a new twist.
In the first few days after Jesus rose from the dead the disciples were still somewhat scattered about Jerusalem and the surrounding villages.
John finds Peter and runs up to him. Excitedly he says, "Peter, Peter! I've got some really good news and some really bad news."
Peter takes ahold of John and calms him down. "Take it easy, John. What is it? What's the really good news?"
John says, "The really good news is that after 3 days Jesus Christ rose from the dead and is looking for all of his Apostles."
Peter says, "That's really great! After news like that, what could be the really bad news?"
John, looking around warily, said, "He's really steamed about last Friday."
Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com
Labels: Classic Comedy, Easter, Edited by Peter, Holiday, Jokes About Dying or Nearly So, Old Jokes With A New Twist, Religion
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Peep show expose!
A Peter Files Blog of Comedy Reader has sent in the ultimate horror, a peep show nightmare.
Warning, the following picture is intended for mature audiences only. It is only in our civic duty to expose such corruption that we feel that we must expose this lurid behavior going on in the internet community!
Please protect your youth, your children, your young little people from such goings on! They should never know about such things. At least not until they are older.
And what about the example this sets for the little peeps, eh?
Oh, let my peeps go!
Thanks to my dear friend MES for helping to expose this danger to us all!
Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com
Labels: Comedy So Funny it Hurts, Comic Strips, Dance, Easter, NSFW?, Old Jokes With A New Twist, Photo Jokes, Practical Jokes, Reader Joke, Satire
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As reported last week,
attempts were rumored to have been made to put the Easter Bunny on the "Federal No Fly List" despite the glaring oversite that the Easter Bunny hops everywhere.
Whether these attempts to stymie the Easter Bunny's efforts were rumor, ridicule, or a policy withdrawn, the fact of the matter is that once again, sanity, hope, or a miracle prevailed and our little Children's early introduction to Easter, reportedly through visits to hundreds of millions of homes worldwide this year as a symbol of peace, love and joy was successful again.
As adults, we get caught up in the seriousness of our religious beliefs sometimes that we lose face of the important aspects of them represented by the faith we see in the eyes of our children who would never connect a bomb, a gun, a knife, or violence with the image of God. Anything we teach them otherwise, comes from us. Perhaps we should ponder that, with all due respect to other faiths who's teachings I have not studied, if God has not innately given such connections to the minds and hearts of his children, is it right that we should?
Reports coming into the Cracked up staff of the Peter Files Worldwide, show that the Easter Bunny had more help than usual this year at International Border Crossings, perhaps as a backlash to the "No Fly List" Story. Although he has never needed help in inter-continental travel, it is rumored that a stealth aircraft captain stationed at Area 51 offered him a ride wherever he wished to go. "Even we can't tell where I am now - who's to say where I drop the Bunny? But he seems to be able to do some pretty big hops without me. Talk about altitude!"
Afterwards, job done, EB as he is known to his Cotton Posse, cooled down for 24 hours, then picked up, Flopsy, Mopsie, Cottontail, Rabbit P., Peter C.T., and Bugsy for a Ford limo trip down to the American Idol show. Peter C.T. is rumored to be still grumbling that the rules do not allow Rabbits to compete, he thinks his new joint "Bunny Trail Cotton Rap" with Master D.J. Benjamin B could put him over the top. All EB wanted to do we here is to get some tail bumping time with J-Lo. Nothing serious. Since the theme this week was Latin Music, EB thought he could show her that he could Conga with the rest of the crowd.
Sadly, it was not to be. J-Lo was not in the House and while Paula was all hugs, Simon Cowell took one look at the Bunny Patrol and nearly had to be hospitalized for hysteria. That was before PCT brought up putting "Bunny Trail Cotton Rap" into the show.
In the end it didn't matter, the Bunny Patrol had a great time, brought extra carrots and eggs for everyone and Mopsie even got a few phone numbers we hear.
So thats it for the Easter 2007 report. Hope that this report doesn't Egg on Bush and Co. for 2008!
Peter, Chief Editor and Spell WreckerThe Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and CommentaryHttp://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com
We strive to keep our humor and comments safe for home and work. Some of the links that appear here may not meet our standards. If this appears on a regular basis, please let us know at "thepeterfilesblog dot gmail dot com". Thank You!
Labels: American Idol, Best Of, Bush, Easter, Fun Posts, Humor, Kids, Politics, Satire, songs, TV
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Stephen Colbert and David Letterman watch out!
As if things could not get worse - You may remember the laughter created last year when it was revealed that in 2005 the Bush administration attempted to hold the Easter Bunny without legal counsel or trial at the CIA's detention center at Guantanamo Bay, obstensively for "planning to commit 56 million cases of periodontal terrorism" across America on Easter Sunday 2005, citing legend and past practice as evidence of future intent. (Though it was also rumored that President Bush was tired of losing the Annual White House Easter Egg Hunt and wanted an excuse to cancel the whole thing.)
Ultimately, the investigation broke down after the international media, entered the fray, leaving no Peep unturned. Also a problem was that while the Guantanamo Bay facility was designed to be escape proof for most human beings, designers failed to accommodate the skills possessed by giant, magic, hopping rabbits, such that as the time came clear for The Easter Bunny to head home to pick up his eggs and head out on his delivery route, neither their facilities at Guantanamo bay, not the location of the facility proved any difficulty in caging him further.This year's gaff, seems to make that little farce seem like a stroll in farmer McGregor's Garden as PAAS-tel faced Bush officials whispered that the Easter Bunny had been put on the Federal "no fly list".
"As if the Easter Bunny flies!" One staffer who wants to protect his daughter's Easter stash exclaimed, "this isn't Santa or the Tooth Fairy we're talking about! This had to come right from the top, the very top, Cheney!" whined another. "Who could forget that this wily wabbit just hopped off Guantanamo leaving Easter Baskets for everyone there? Even the non-Christians! Boy were they surprised!"
"Like a "No Fly list" means anything to a magical symbol of Easter and the miracle of God! The next thing you know we'll be looking for weapons of mass inflation in our tummies or WMD's in the Tooth Fairy's quarters or Santa's stockings, because their outside interference might dip into 4th Quarter sales! Hmph! As if Easter Candy lasts more than a couple of days."
Glad to see that some sense has entered the Republicrat Party. At least some of it.
Hoppy Easter, Hanukkah, or whatever way you worship this weekend.
Editor's Note: This piece was edited for spelling and content errors vewy, vewy, early on the morning of Easter Thursday after the effects of his Easter Candy binge had begun to wear off and before CVS candy sales had dipped below 50% off.The staff of this blog have received No hop-backs for the content of this post.
Peter Rabbit, Chief Editor and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
Labels: Best Of, Bush, Celebrity, Classic Comedy, Easter, Jokes, Photoblogs, Politics, Satire
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