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Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Don't Miss the Gaelic Park Players Production of The Patrick Pearse Motel by Hugh Leonard: April 9 - 11, 16 - 18, 23 - 25, 2010

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Don't Miss The Gaelic Park Players Production of The Patrick Pearse Motel by Irish playwright Hugh Leonard: April 9 - 11, 16 - 18, 23 - 25, 2010

There are few South Side actors whose work I recommend unreservedly, but this production includes one of them in the likes of Marty Donovan who I have had the pleasure of working with onstage myself and witnessing his raw talent, attention to his craft, his ready wit, his incredible imagination, humor and all around ability to move an audience to laugh, cry and cheer.

In the context of a Hugh Leonard play, his efforts are not to be missed. While you may be more familiar with Leonard's Da or A Life, I urge you to take a chance to see this production of The Patrick Pearse Motel while you can, and to get seats while you can. Opening night offers two for one tickets a rare theater buy.

Here's what the company says about the play and the production:

The Patrick Pearse Motel  by Hugh Leonard

An upwardly mobile couple living in an upscale Dublin suburb, and their business partners are showing what real patriotism is all about-selling it in the form of hotels. Each room in the Patrick Pearse Motel is decorated with a portrait of a national hero. Unbeknown to her doting husband, the lady of the house is plotting a tryst with an old flame, a television commentator famed for his rudeness. Soon the stage is filled with mistaken identities, dropped trousers, a flimsy negligee and false accusations. On a rainy night at The Patrick Pearse Motel, the characters crisscross paths, threaten one another with a shillelagh and hide in convenient closets. An hysterical bedroom farce that will have you wondering how will all of this turn out and who will get out alive?

The Patrick Pearse Motel
Director-Tom Kearney
Assistant Director-Georgina Chapman

Cast:
Dermod -Marty Donovan
Grainne-Kathy Holahan
Fintan-Stephen Heffernan
Niamh-Mary Kate Brophy
Miss Manning-Taryn Mckenna
James Usheen-Mick Kenna
Hoolihan-Barney Farrelly

Show Dates are:
Fridays April 9th, 16th and 23rd at 8:00pm
Saturdays April 10th, 17th and 24th at 8:00pm
Sundays April 11th, 18th and 25 at 3:00pm

Tickets:
PLEASE NOTE TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE AT THE GAELIC PARK OFFICE

$12.00 Theater Performance only
$25.00 Dinner & Theater (Sundays Only)
Opening Night - Buy 1 Get 1 Free!!
Reservations are a must for Dinner & Theater
Tickets are non-refundable

For tickets and dinner reservations please call:

The Gaelic Park Players
Chicago Gaelic Park
6119 W. 147th Street
Oak Forest, IL 60452

708-687-9323


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This is a Facebook Event. If you are a Facebook member you can go here for more information:

If you do see the show, be sure to tell them at the box office you heard about it here!

Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com


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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Friends Vs Chicago Friends

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The best thing about living in Chicago is the people who live here and how they treat each other. This was forwarded by my CHICAGO FRIEND, Mary. Thanks Mar.

FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Always bring the food.

FRIENDS: Will say 'hello'.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss.

FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Call your parents Mom and Dad

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FRIENDS: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and just being together.

FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds' back-ends that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Walk right in and say,'I'm home!'

FRIENDS: will visit you in jail.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: will spend the night in jail with you .

FRIENDS: will visit you in the hospital when you're sick.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: will cut your grass and clean your house then come spend the night with you in the hospital and cook for you when you come home.

FRIENDS: have you on speed dial.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: have your number memorized .

FRIENDS: Are for a while.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Might ignore this.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Will forward this to all their CHICAGO Friends
BEVERLY FRIENDS: Will blog this so that thousands of people have the chance to become better friends to their friends.

Which one are you?



Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com


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Saturday, June 07, 2008

Back in The Saddle Again: Why I Was Off: A Fairy Tale Retold Stereotypically

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Hi, I'm back.

You may have noticed a little gap in posts. This has happened before this time of year and will probably happen again. Sorry about that. The fact is that some years ago I lost my one of very best friends+ on my memorial day weekend some years ago and you'd think I'd be over it by now, but I'm not. People say a lot of "Shoulds" about things like this, or "normally"'s. But the fact is when it comes to people you really care about, should and normal don't really apply, especially when the circumstances that separate you are things that should not have happened, and were very far from normal.

That's all I am going to say about it. After all, this IS a comedy blog, and I don't want to bring you down. But if you want to infer any more, note that I never do jokes about airplane crashes.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Da Tree Liddle Pigs

Once upon a time dere were tree liddle pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig and the brick pig. One day dis nasty old wolf came up to da straw pig's house and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did !!!

So da straw pig went running over to da stick pig's house and said, "Please; let me in, da wolf just blew down my house." So da stick Pig let da straw pig in. Just then da wolf showed up and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did !!!

So da straw pig and da stick pig went running over to da brick pig's house and said, "Let us in, let us in, da big bad wolf just blew our houses down!" So da brick pig let them in just as da wolf showed up. Den da wolf said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." You can imagine dat da straw pig and the stick pig were so scared dad dey almost made a mess! But dese Pigs, dey had self-respect, and no matter how scared dey were, dey held demselves together.

Instead of being scared, da brick pig picked up the phone and made a call.

A few minutes passed and a big, black Caddy pulls up. Out step two massive pigs in pin striped suits and fedora hats. Dese pigs come over to da wolf, grab him by da neck and beat da living daylights out of him until he was crying like a little baby, then one of them pulled out a gun, stuck it in his mouth and fired, killing da big bad wolf as an example of what happens when you mess with made pigs. Den dey tied big cement blocks around his feet and trew his sorry tail into the creek.

Den dey got back into dere big black Caddy and drove off, not a hair out of place, nor a wrinkle on dere suits.

The straw pig and stick pig were amazed!!! "Who da heck were dose guys?" they asked da brick pig.

"Dose were my cousins, he said nonchalantly... da Guinea Pigs.

Gotta love dose Italians. "


Tanks to my friend Mary Ellen for dis here joke, which I have re-grammatized for effect.

Peter "I remember where da spots formerly was!"

The Peter Files Blog does not mean to offend persons of any ethnic origin by publishing such a joke/pun, especially those with access to automatic weapons, big fists and cement. We hope that this humor will be taken in the smae good nature that more famous work such as The Sopranos, The Godfather, Goodfellas and other light-hearted fare.

Peter, Chief Editor and Da Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com


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Friday, April 18, 2008

Peter's Files Experiences of The Illinois Earthquake on 4/18/08

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I'm hoping that the lack of information about injuries and deaths so far is a sign that the earthquake early this morning resulted in none.

An Earthquake hit the State of Illinois according to the USGS at 4:36 Central Standard time with an Epicenter in far downstate Illinois with a Magnitude of 5.2 (revised at 10:51) on the Richter Scale.

At the time I was having trouble sleeping. This is not unusual. Chronic pain sufferers endure sleep problems. So I was awake when I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise. Suddenly, I had this odd sensation like someone else had entered the room from behind me, which happened to be SSSE the direction of the quake's epicenter from my home in Chicago.

The lights were off in my bedroom so I turned them on, but no one was there.

Suddenly there was an odd feeling of pressure, as if our 1880 frame house was feeling a strong breeze.

I then realized the pressure had a rhythmic quality and I had trouble figuring out what it was for perhaps a second and then it hit me, the odds were strong that I was feeling a low magnitude earthquake!

I had a flash sense that it had to be from the Missouri Fault Line - I think that's what it is called - which runs on a line through or just south of Southern Illinois From Missouri to Kentucky or Ohio. CNN probably has the details out by now.

That gave me a flash worry about people who I knew from St. Louis who I knew from Spring Hill College, many of whom I had not seen for 28 years Jim, Bill, Karen, Mary Sue, Carl's family (I think Carl is in Toronto now) - all their families - even some I had seen more recently, like Vinny.

That took me about a microsecond after realizing that it was an earthquake.

In another instant I debated waking the others in the house: was that an increase in the quake's intensity?

Then I felt some actual movement or swaying in the house. The ceiling fan above me had begun to sway just a little and I could feel a bassy vibration through the floor through my socks. Not enough for real swaying of the house, but enough to know that something was there. Kind of like the subway running by underground. Of course, we don't live over the subway, and this was a lot more powerful.

This feeling was probably a component wave of the earthquake as it spread in all directions from either the surface above the origin of the quake, or the actual underground source, but unlike that actual shaking you would feel much closer to the quake, was more like the thump-thump-thump base of the speakers that you might feel through the walls of your dorm from a band in the quad.

But this thump was slow. Earthquakes must have a very low frequency a long distance away. But not too low. There was a vibrato in the thicker vibrations that I felt coming up through the floor. I'm taking a long time to describe something that only took seconds to experience.

No - I stayed put - it seemed that what I was feeling was as much as we were going to feel. This time.

The richter scale is a scale where each digit is geometrically higher than the one above it. So a 6 on the scale is a lot stronger than a 5, and a 7 is a whole lot stronger than a 6. And no one wants to be anywhere near an 8 or 9.

Living in the Beverly Hills neighborhood of Chicago, which is just west of the I-57/I-94 split, that is on the far southwest side, the fact that this quake could be felt here means that it must have been a doozy downstate. Not enough to bring down all the houses, better watch the news to make sure, but let's hope that this is a tension relief earthquake that gets us by for a few decades and is not the precursor to something a lot stronger.

I hate to think like this, but in the buying wood or buying brick house debate, I'm glad I'm living in a wood house right now. They flex better in earthquakes. But it looks like I might just need to check out the fine print in my homeowners insurance right about now.

I predict increased interest in earthquake insurance in the Midwest, if we can get it.


For more blogger's comments on the earthquake go to:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/04/18/quake.irpt/index.html



Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com


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Sunday, April 06, 2008

Understanding Engineers & Philosophers - Another Reader Joke - Edited by Peter

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Understanding Engineers & Philosophers - Take One

Two engineering students and a philosopher were walking across a university campus where
one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding
my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to
the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly & said, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

The philosopher thought for a minute and said, "You do realize, don't you, that if you had taken the woman, she might have led you to an super-bike that was waiting for you at her home?"

"Darn", said the first engineer.

"You did the best you could", said the philosopher, "Hell, is a room full of those other bikes, and no repair kits."


Understanding Engineers & Philosophers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

To the philosopher, whether the glass is there or not depends on whether there is someone there to drink it.


Understanding Engineers & Philosopherss - Take Three

A priest, a doctor, an engineer, and a philosopher were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been
waiting for fifteen minutes !"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
him."

He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think
I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

The philosopher said, "From their point of view they're already playing at night, I'll bet they can't understand why we don't wait till daytime like a normal person. Besides, they're having the time of their lives."

"What do you mean", said the engineer?

"Well", said the philosopher, "haven't you noticed the reason they're so slow?"

"No", said the engineer.

"You'd be slow too", opined the philosopher, "if you had to stop every hole to celebrate four holes in one!"

"Four holes-in-one", complained the engineer, "that's outrageous, "how can they possibly think that four blind golfers are making holes-in-one!"

"One of them must been a part-time carpenter", snickered the philosopher, "and he's estimating for the group!"


Understanding Engineers & Philosophers - Take Four

What is the difference between mechanical engineers, civil engineers & philosophers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets and philosophers start or stop wars in the first place.


Understanding Engineers & Philosophers - Take Five

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

The graduate with a philosophy degree asks "Hey, you at the fries vat, how many times do I have to tell you, you don't punch in, you don't get paid"!


Understanding Engineers & Philosophers - Take Six

Three engineering students and a philosopher were gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body.

One engineer said, "It was a mechanical engineer Just look at all the joints."

Another engineer said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last engineer said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Then the philosopher chipped in, "interesting hypotheses, but all of your arguments fail, it had to be a philosopher, only a philosopher would create a body where an undistributed middle term could so often defy reason and cause so much irrational motion."

"I give up", the first engineer said, "I'm through Hegleing with you about this, your arguments have too much Sartre to them."



Understanding Engineers & Philosophers - Take Seven

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Philosophers believe that if we think its broke, we may just misunderstand its true purpose.



Understanding Engineers & Philosophers - Take Eight

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to
the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess,
I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful
princess & that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend,
but a talking frog, now that's cool."

Later in the week he ran into his friend the philosopher who had talked him into coming to a wine and cheese party where he was giving a paper on Camus's writings about Sisyphus (Camus and the Myth of Sisyphus: Or A Rolling Rock is Here to Stay, ©1980 by PJF). The engineer came only because the quantity of wine consumable always vastly exceeded the attendance.

After the groans had driven the audience into harder than usual drinking, the very inebriated engineer told his friend the philosopher about his new talking frog. The philosopher, from Missouri, the "Show Me" state, and a born skeptic, demanded proof, so the two made their way drunkenly back across the quad to the Engineer's room so that he could show off his new pet who promptly asked the philosopher to kiss the frog.

The Engineer panicked, but the philosopher said, "don't worry", who believes a talking frog"?

So the Engineer allowed the philosopher to hold it and pet it.

Once again the frog promised to do "anything" the philosopher wanted, if only he would kiss it. This was too much for the philosopher and skeptic or not he kissed the frog who promptly turned into a Princess.

The engineer was livid.

"I trusted you. You are my friend! How could you betray me like this! If anyone should have kissed the frog and gotten this, wow, very beautiful princess willing to do anything you asked, it should have been me!"

"Im sorry man," said the philosopher, "I really didn't believe the frog would turn it into a beautiful princess, that's just a really great bonus. But look here, I have to turn in a 40-page analysis of Kant's Critique of Pure Reason by next Friday and I'm terrified. I'd take anyone's help with that. Even a frog's!"

And they lived hoppily ever after.


Understanding Engineers & Philosophers - Take Eight


And it came to pass that in a certain department all of the employees but one became afraid to enter the office of their boss. An excellent, well meaning, but very precise engineer.

Her meetings with her staff were legend. Though the meetings with the staff as a whole were not long, woe be it the staffer called into her office for a project review for projects that she deemed to be in trouble or in need of her minute and detailed help.

Week after week this went on, some of the engineering staff having daily meetings that lasted as long as one or two hours, until they became nervous and fearful, even though the engineer was no ogre.

One day it came to pass that one of the engineers who was worst afflicted saw one of the staff coming from the dreaded bosses office with a smile on his face, even whistling a bit.

"Wait a minute," as the light dawned on her, "why is he happy? How can he be coming from that office without fear and dread on his face?"

As she thought about it, she realized that he had not had one of those long meetings in months. Not months and months.

"O.K. buster", she said, "what's your secret? I've been going crazy here with daily two hour meetings with the boss, and you seem to be exempt.?

He smiled.

"There are two reasons, the real reason, and how I do it. Which do you want?"

"Ooooh, you are nasty. I want both. None of this either or, you share this cubicle with me, now out with everything or...", he realized that she was beyond the point of no return and liked her enough to want to really help her.

"O.K. You aren't going to believe either one, but I'll tell you. The real reason you and everyone else get trapped into these meetings is that you are planners and engineers. You create the box then stay inside it. I was a philosophy major. If I see a box, I look at the box, consider its structure and form, and question it, and figure out if its moral, right, and ask, what if everyone did it. Then, if I see a problem with it, I try to work around the box or create an escape hole."

"And that's what you've done", she said.

"Sort of, In this case, the box is that our boss needs to feel that she knows what's going on with the projects in her domain and that the people running those projects know how their doing, where they are on their deadlines, what problems they face and how they are going to address them. Anyone who doesn't give her that information, she meets with UNTIL SHE GETS IT."

"Nooo." The cubicle mate said. It can't be that easy.

"I just dropped off my daily report. It lists all my projects, and everything that got done yesterday. At the end of the week I have another form that lists the goals for next week and I give her a copy of this week's sheet with done things scratched off and undone things explained.

I haven't had a single meeting since. I can email you the forms if you like, with completed copies."

"I'm going to kill you!"

"I tried to tell you this a month ago and you didn't believe me!"

"No you didn't!"

"Check your email"

Performance review time.

"In conclusion, my effort to convert the staff to our new reporting system went better than I thought."

"Great work." "I Talked to my boss. The Promotion is yours."

See, Engineers and Philosophers CAN work together.


Similarities between the individuals in this story and actual people and circumstances are coincidental and are really, really stretching the truth. Especially where alleged promotions are concerned. But as Checkov said approximately, it is nice when stories end like that, isn't it? And they all moved to Moscow and married the Princess and lived in a castle.


Thanks to my friend Andy for the original engineer jokes. All of the philosopher references have been added by yours truly.


I edit many of the jokes I get, from simple typo corrections, to complete re-writes. Sometimes there are huge improvements, sometimes I fail miserable. Only you can tell me how I did. Please tell me.

Because philosophers wind up taking hard core courses in logic, they actually tend to get along very well with engineers, at least serious ones do. Except that philosophers can write. Hee hee.

There really is a paper called Camus and the Myth of Sisyphus: Or a Rolling Rock is Here to Stay. I wrote it for my Existentialism class in college an got an A+. Thanks Babs, wherever you are.


Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com


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Please make comments by clicking on the word "Comments"!

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Saturday, November 17, 2007

Pentagon Announces Formation of Elite US Redneck Special Forces Unit

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The Peter Files Blog News Network (Pentagon, 0035hrs)
The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF). Using special redneckified weapons, rations and tactics, the USRSF are expected to bring "A whole lotta whuppin' to the region" according to inside souses in the Pentagon and the Bush White House.


These boys will be dropped off in Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists :


1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt .

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

"Unlike your normal GI, your USRSF member, has special ASSets for sitting still and lying in weight for enemy combatants, especially when supplied with supercooled supplies of carb-loaded Top-Secret energy drinks code named JD, WT101, PBR and even cases of hard to find BillyB which are completely unavailable to most of these Talibanistas. Heck, given these secret fluids, we hardly need food ner even blood to survive in most any environment. And it righteously improves our shootin'," says a Commander in a newly formed Unit, so secret it does not even have a name or number, though all have a tatoo of a certain redhead on their arms showing a great deal of anatomically correct detail.

"Heah, since the tatoo shows enough of our favorite gal to get us killed on sight, we know we got no option but to fight to the bottom, er, end. Of course, other units got other girls, Paris, Britney, Natlie, Lindsey's just our girl. Did I say Lindsey? Forget that, it should be classified, I think. Anyhoo, we got us some special weapons for I-ran and we gonna get them good! Hooyah!"

"Iraq? Right. Wherever. I just like to shoot. Geography was never my strong point. Just point me and my boys and we go."

With attitudes like these, Pentagon analysts are sure that the war will be over in "...less time than it took former Governor Huey P. Long to build a bridge, a hospital, and the Louisiana State Highway System, that is, about three weeks."

                                                                    -30-

Hope you liked this one!

If this doesn't get comments, nothing will.

Thanks Tom B. for the Photo and the kernal that started this post.

This post dedicated to "The Marvelous TR, Redneck though and through, one of the kindest and best men I ever knew." Despite public jokes to the contrary, he was NOT a fan of the Greatful Dead...


Peter, Chief Editor, Spelling Wrecker and Cultural Satarist
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com


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Sunday, October 14, 2007

Rose and Barb, Softball Stars

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This is from My Friend and Reader Debbie Z. - Be like her and submit a joke today!

Rose and Barb, Softball Stars

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb, had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day.

One day Barb said, "Rose, we both loved playing women's softball all our lives, and we played in all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's softball there."

Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed, "Barb, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you." Shortly after that, Rose passed on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, "Barb, Barb."

"Who is it?" asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Barb -- it's me, Rose."

"You're not Rose. Rose just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Rose," insisted the voice.

"Rose! Where are you?"

"In Heaven," replied Rose. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," said Barb.

"The good news," Rose said, "is that there's Softball in Heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired."

"That's fantastic," said Barb.. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?"

"You're pitching Tuesday."

Thanks for visiting the Peter Files Blog of Comedy! Bookmark us and come back soon! Feel free to forward posts to your friends and to taunt them with your savvy nature for finding this blog first!

Peter, Chief Editor and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
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