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In the previous post one of my jokes was that we should move to a 4-day work week in summer time to help reduce fuel oil consumption.
I added to it that the work day should only be 9 hours long instead of 10. In effect, this would reduce the summer work week from 40-hours to 36 hours, but on 4 days instead of 5.
The benefit of this would be to reduce commuting gas consumption by 1 day per week per auto now commuting, or by about 20% while reducing the number of hours worked in the week by 4 or 10%.
It was initially a joke, but here is our chance to think about it. Is this such a far flung idea?
First, let's look at the idea of a four-hour per week cut in working hours since that would make the whole plan more workable. Ten hour workdays are long. Even with an extra day off per week, they are very hard. Nine on the other hand are not so bad.
An 8 to 4:30 day would become 8 to 5:30. Dinner would be later, but not horribly so. This would be offset by an extra day without work and commuting.
Next. Say most American's commute at least 1 hour per day round trip. In Chicago, many commute 2 -3 hours per day. So, losing one day's commute nearly entirely covers the longer days at work. In essence, by working longer four days a week the length of one day's total commute, many workers will then save not only the day worked, but that day's commute as well.
Now, for this to work, legislation would also be required so that full-time employee status/perks would not be lost by working 36 instead of 40 hours in the summer. There would be expenses required in altering payroll and accounting software to do this, but this has to be compared to the vast sums in fuel costs saved both in immediate savings at the pump, and in lowered prices because of lowered international demand.
While we may no longer be the whole international fuel consumption story anymore, a drop in U.S. fuel consumption caused by a 20% decline in auto commuting mileage might very well have a significant effect on gas prices.
Why do this in summer? To start with there are two big reasons.
In summer time the amount of sunlight available here is much greater. You work an extra hour a day and there is still plenty of sunlight left when you get home to spend time with the kids, your family, or your online connection. In winter, it will just be darker.
Also, as a summer program, the day off will be in the nicest weather of the year, when people are most inclined to play hooky and take spontaneous days off anyway. This program might actually help reduce summer absenteeism and help employers save money on their benefits packages.
How do we decide who gets to take what day off? Good question. One could argue that for maximum efficiency at the workplace everyone should take the same day off, Monday, Wednesday or Friday. In this way it will seem to the rest of the U.S. as if nothing has changed. We all start and stop at once and everyone is there when everyone needs us there for work reasons.
There is at least one disadvantage to this method however, it does not maximize fuel savings in areas with dense auto traffic. In areas like Chicago it would be much better for people to pick their own day off each week of the five, or rotate them, so that the reduction in normal summer auto commute traffic is spread through the week. Spreading out the reduction in auto traffic across the days of the week would reduce traffic congestion to its maximum and reduce gas wasted by stop and go traffic patterns.
A flaw in the system could be, let's be honest, is that if traffic gets too light that it might encourage those who use public transportation to drive instead because the hassles of driving are reduced.
However, this might be offset by reduced crowding on Public Transportation vehicles during commuting times. Making public transportation more comfortable and reliable since most schedule delays such as bus bunching occur due to unexpected overcrowding on a bus route. System planners would have to take into account that the commute flows would be longer, but the work schedules for transit workers already put more vehicles out in the early evening than are needed to complete an 8 hour day for transit workers.
Yep, there's a complex problem, how do you handle the 36-hour week for employees in jobs like bus and train operator? Carefully at first. Though they already hire summer help since most transit workers want to take a vacation in the summer just like everybody else. They may just wind up "picking" their summer work schedules just like they do now. With as little flexibility as they do now, but with the same degree of reliability for themselves.
Oh, that leads to the overtime question. When does it kick in? After 36 hours or 40? Good question. I think that might have to depend on business size. But since employers would be gaining some efficiency by having workers focused on a more limited number of days and being able to alter hiring during the summer to use workstations differently, having 10-15% more employees if they desire without increasing office space, it might be that over 9 hours in a day where all 36 were worked would have to be the rule. However, to what degree should we discourage employers from creating 5th day overtime among salaried employees.
A lot I should think. But then again, we are in an economic system that encourages many extra hours and hard work. So perhaps for exempt employees this does not make sense at all. But perhaps, at least for one season a year, it should.
Well, some initial thoughts on a modest proposal, more modest than that one by Jonathan Swift at any rate. Easier to swallow too.
Oh, we could combine it with another idea I had, legislated 40% parking discounts for those who show up with 3 riders in a parking lot in downtown areas that are in ozone non-attainment zones. Or wherever air pollution is bad. There might have to be some kind of tax rebate to garage operators to help pay for this, but the benefits in reduced auto usage would be substantial.
What are your thoughts on this. I'm looking for ideas to help make something work. Not catcalls on why all ideas are doomed to fail. What better ideas do you have?
Oh, yes, if people are at home one day a week they may do some driving as well. But home-based non-work trips tend to be a lot shorter than driving to work commuter trips so probably the gas usage will be lower. The emissions might not because of something called the "cold start" phenomenon. Of course, if the weather is really sweltering, getting the auto engine up to maximum fuel efficiency should be a lot quicker in the summer in cold areas than in the winter.
It is so nice that the nice warm weather is starting to be regular here!
See:http://edition.cnn.com/2008/BUSINESS/05/09/oil.prices.ap/index.html?iref=topnews
Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com
Labels: Car Troubles, CNN, Commentary, CTA, Gas Prices, Jobs, Original, Public Transportation, Transportation
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Dateline Texas: Clinton Says Obama's Delegate "Lag" Sure to Decline After The March 4th Primaries/McCain Says Bush Deserves Sainthood
A woman who wished to be known as "Mystic Clinton", unofficial spokeswoman for "Hillary is Kool" a Texas Democratic Group with "at least 17 members" and who is, as far as we know, unrelated to the former first Lady and current Senator, said today to Peter Files Blog Insiders that "Obama's lag in the convention delegate race was "sure to decline after the March 4th primaries, especially in Texas."
When it was pointed out to "Ms. Clinton" that in fact, as of this date, Senator Obama was ahead by more than 100 delegates and that for a "lag to decline" meant that his lead would advance, Ms. Clinton corrected us.
"No, that doesn't account for the secret delegates."
When asked for more information about the secret delegates she referred to Ms. Clinton looked to her left and right and said, "Well, everybody knows about the secret delegates, they're the ones with all the special privileges at conventions. They get to dress up in silly outfits and play pranks and create disturbances and get hauled out by security and five minutes later they are right back in the hall dressed in their regular clothes because they have the special passes. They blend in with everyone else, and everyone knows them but when it comes time for the electronic voting, their votes cancel out the votes of ten other delegates."
When asked for evidence about these astounding charges, Ms. Clinton said, "Well shoot, everybody around here knows about secret delegates. The Republicans have had them for years. I think the Democrats just caught on more recent like. Now Senator Obama, he's a good man, but I think he's too new to have drafted himself any secret delegates and I think you have to have a bunch of them to win any nomination."
Seeking confirmation of this outlandish story we were only able to find one other person in Texas who had ever heard of "secret delegates"; that was "Bubba Sharif McCain" head of "Texas Republicans against change of any kind - George W. for a Third Term - Heah!" a self-proclaimed Republican fan club of uncertain membership.
"Confidentially speakin' I heard of secret delegates. There was some crazy lady in the other county, Marge something, at a political rally. She kept yellin and screamin about it the last two or three elections. But I don't pay talk like that no never mind. Not when I got something important to do, like getting George W. Bush elected to the President for a third term or if not that, Sainthood.
When we mentioned that third Presidential terms were prohibited by the Constitution of the United States and that to become a Saint you were normally required to be a Roman Catholic, Mr. McCain said, "Well don't that beat all, you'd think with all the miracles he performed they might make an exception for him!"
Miracles?
"Miracle one - goin into Iraq after those 911 terrorists who had them WMD's and Mission Accomplished so soon! I tell you that was inspiring!"
"Miracle two - there hasn't been a single commie threat while he has been in office of any kind, why those Russkies have been quiet as little mouses."
"Miracle three - Just look at Hurricane Katrina, why that whole darn city could have been washed away, gone forever, but look at it now, why I bet that its better, cleaner and happier than its ever been."
"Miracle four - Just look at our economy, why right here in town our McDonalds and Wal Mart always have jobs for people that want them. Why I remember when lotsa people were outa work and today, why lotsa folks have two jobs. One feller I know who just got married has three. If that ain't proof of a healthy economy, why I don't know what is."
"Miracle Five - Just look at how he's kept all those young GI's working and building up service time overseas. Why you know that's gonna look good when they come home looking for jobs, and you know, the only way to advance in the military is by seeing combat. Of course that's all over, Mission Accomplished, heh, heh."
"Lesse, Why the way he's led and inspired the whole Republican Party to follow his leadership in lock step behind him, voting his way right down the line. That's a true miracle. He did that here in Texas too. Why, I count at least six miracles right there.
At this point our correspondent decided that discretion was the better part of valor, though I told him that he just plain chickened out.
We note that like Ms. Mystic Clinton, Mr. Bubba Sharif McCain has no relatives running for office that we know of.
It need hardly be said that like any other item found on the Peter Files Blog of Comedy this Post Should Be Considered Devoid of Any Meaningful Information Whatsoever. This Post contains Political Satire. Resemblance to actual statements, person, organizations, delegates, or reality is entirely coincidental. However, I've said it just in case this gets picked off the internet by an intern at some small foriegn paper to save him/her from embarrassing himself with their editor.
Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com
Labels: American Life, Bush, Elections, Embarrasing Quotes, Fiction, Fictional Characters Only, Humor, Jobs, Politics, Rednecks, Satire, Stereotypes
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This one is from my friend Mary Ellen. Be like Mary Ellen and send me your funnies joke at the address below or put it in a post comment for a recent post. If we think its funny we'll upgrade it to post level and give you credit as you like. Rude and Crude posts will not be used.
My Resume
1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
6. I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center , but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
13. After many years of trying to find steady work! I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
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Peter, Chief Editor and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
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Labels: American Life, Humor, Jobs, Jokes, Puns, Reader Joke, Wordplay
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