Chicago, The Musical, at Holiday Star Theater, July 19, 20, 25, 26, 2008

When I first came back to Chicago's South Side Community Theater scene after a long gap from doing shows in Chicago, my first part was Pablo in the Beverly Theater Guild's 1984 production of A Streetcar Named Desire directed by Brian Leo, who took a chance on me, being an unknown talent to those casting out there at the time, and to a degree, to myself.

The show went very well, and to my surprise, I got lots of laughs in places where I realized that I should have known that there could be, and only one that there shouldn't have been (Stanley and I managed to break the bed during the fight scene in one performance when we tripped going through the unsupported door frame between the kitchen and the bedroom).

Afterwards a tall, thin person came up to me and asked me if I would like to be in a show that was going up in only three weeks at a nearby theater. His name was John Boss, and that show introduced me to many people who helped me meet people who led me to be in a series of 40 some shows that spanned 1984 - 2004.

I saw John last weekend during the intermission of "Moon over Buffalo" (that I reviewed last week) and reminded him that I am happy to promote productions when I am able - he assured me that he had remembered, and sure enough, in this morning's email was a notice that he was appearing as Mary Sunshine in the Holiday Star Theater's production of "Chicago" starting July 19th.

John is a very talented actor and Holiday Star Theater books really fine acts, so I am sure that you will find the show worthwhile, If you go, you may even pass me in the lobby. The details from the theater follow:

Star Productions is pleased to announce this year’s full scale regional presentation of the smash hit musical “CHICAGO,” scheduled for July 19, 20, 25 and 26 at Merrillville’s Star Plaza Theatre. (Directions)

The 20's are roaring with hot jazz and cold-blooded killers. Filled with passion, greed, corruption, murder and non-stop dance, Bob Fosse's “CHICAGO” is one of the sexiest musicals to ever hit Broadway.

Honored with six Tony Awards and one Grammy, this drop dead musical features classic show tunes "All That Jazz," "Razzle Dazzle," and "Roxie.” Star Productions secured the rights to this exclusive area engagement after the successful national tour of “CHICAGO” made a stop at Star Plaza Theatre this past March.

The regional cast stars Tina Dohl-Menconi, re-creating her NIETF award-winning role as villainess Velma Kelly; Charlie Blum also re-creates his role as the fast-talking attorney, Billy Flynn. Jenna Rose Underwood plays Roxie Hart, Mary Jo Williamson returns to the Star Plaza stage in the role of Matron Mama Morton, with J.J. Boylan as Amos Hart with John Boss rounding out the lead cast as Mary Sunshine. Add the accomplished ensemble cast of 17 singers and dancers, and this sexy musical comes to life for four performances.

This regional theater production of “CHICAGO” is being produced by Star Productions, directed by Kurt Gillins, choreographed by Lyn Knight, with musical direction by Bill Woods. For tickets, call the Star Plaza box office at 219.791.1234 or Ticketmaster 312.559.1212. Star Plaza is located at: 8001 Delaware Place, Merrillville, IN. Ticket prices are $25 – Main Floor; $20 – Mezzanine.

This is a Peter Files Blog Recommended Show. No money or consideration was received in advance for this promotion.

Are you a theater person with a show to promote? Perhaps a friend of mine who would like to see their show promoted in this way? Be like John, send me the information needed to put a post like this together and time and health allowing I'll be happy to do it.  Send me whatever you can: show information, production dates, cast lists, links to pictures, bios, directions and even your ticket office. THE EARLIER TO BETTER. While theater posts do get many dozens of hits, its always a shame when people visit only AFTER your production is OVER.

The more you information you give me, the more I can put up. But, you don't have to know me to send me a listing. Community theater productions are especially well treated. I am also happy to update posts as you get new information like cast information and photos. You can leave me information in a comment, leave your email address in a comment which I screen, so I will copy the address, delete it and email you for more information, or email me at: {thepeterfilesblog AT gmail DOT com}


Peter, Chief Editor and Avant Garden Theater Promoter
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

Note: The Graphics on this page belong to the original copyright owners and may not be used for commercial purposes without permission. If the use of any graphic on this page is not allowable. It will be removed at the request of the copyright owner or its legal representative at once. All use is intended to promote the best interests of copyright owners.

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The Girls Screamed 69!

One spring day I was walking past the athletic field of a local girls high school the other day and a throng of high school girls behind its fence were were shouting enthusiastically "69.... 69.... 69...!"

As they kept it up, I got more and more curious, but the wooden fence was too high to see over. 

I knew better of course, but when I saw a little gap in the planks, curiosity got the better of me and I looked through to see what was going on.

Then one of the girls poked me in the eye with a stick.

They all started shouting '70.... 70.... 70...!"

If you thought this was a dirty joke, shame on you! This blog is a clean blog, but sometimes people with dirty minds come to the wrong secretions. Here we strive to be always Safe for work, home, truth, justice and the American way. Wait, based on internet usage that seems to be p.... Never mind.

Thanks to Andy for this joke that I have twisted all out of proportion. You can send me a joke too and get credit if you wish. Just send it to: {http:// thepeterfilesblog AT gmail DOT com}.

Remove the extra spaces, replace the at and dot with an @ and . and you'll have the address. Add the word Joke in the title line please. Tell me if you want credit for you. I don't do ANYTHING with your email address, except maybe make friends with you myself. I hate spam.

Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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Photo Tip From The Peter Files Blog of Comedy Photo Editors

We got my wife a new digital camera for Mother's Day and its amazing how much progress the automatic settings have made since my last purchase 5 and a half years ago.

Still even with something like 30 preset settings, taking control of your focus and flash settings can make a big difference.

If you are not a confident digital camera user you may not be aware that pushing the shutter about halfway down before you take the shot allows the autofocus features, or whatever features you have enabled to do a better job than if you just push the take photo button without that little delay.

Another way to improve your pictures is to make sure your details come out well is to use the flash setting even if you don't think you need it. On today's cameras the autoflash settings are good enough that the camera can often tell for example if there is too much backlighting, even if the sun is out, and you need some front flash so that your images/faces can be clearly seen.

Look at this example (not my wife). Here we see how great a difference there is in the image with and without Flash!

Really unbelievable isn't it?

Of course shutter speeds are getting faster these days which may account for some of the differences in the two photos as well.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Thanks to Nick for finding this picture!


Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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Beverly Theatre Guild's Moon Over Buffalo, Collins, Massaro, Nearly Kill Audience with Laughter

I don't often engage in post production reviews, but in the case of the Beverly Theatre Guild's one weekend production of Ken Ludwig's Moon Over Buffalo, the production was so fine, the acting so outrageous and sublime, that for the benefit of future audiences in the area who often have only a one or two weekend run to see a BTG show, I felt that it was worth the effort to tell you what a marvelous gut-wrenching laugh riot you probably missed this weekend at Chicago's Beverly Art Center at 111th and South Western Avenue.

I've taken the liberty of reproducing parts of the program so that if you recognize the names of these actors in listings of productions in local papers in the future you know that you should make the effort to toddle on down to the theater to see them in action.

There wasn't a single performance that wasn't worth seeing in this extremely well directed production by director Tobi Lowrance with assistance from Assistant Director Francesca Scalzi who took a great script updated it with a combination of new and veteran actors and crafted a fast-moving and emotionally moving comedy and farce of high order.

Moon Over Buffalo, the story of 1950's couple George and Chalotte Hay, the touring repertory family company stars of the style of the Lunts, the Barrymores, or the Zimablists, who displaced by film and television, find the profitablility of the road touring companies drying up and their way of life dissapearing. They are facing the possibility of fiancial and relationship ruin when they get a phone call suggesting that film director Frank Capra will be in the Matinee audience of the day's show to see if George is fit to take over the lead of his new film, just as he has lost two of his own essential players.

The BTG's production was a door-slaming, sword-fighting, knee-to-groin below the belt guffaw generator of the highest or lowest order, depending on how you look at it. Joe Collins as George and Meg Massaro as Charlotte under the direction of Lowrance and Scalzi make us wonder sometimes if the War of the Roses was kid stuff as Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner did not play people who had the whole repetoire of classic theatre to fight, kick, scratch, curse and make asses of themselves with.

Both actors tender the performances of their lives with split-second timing, perfect delivery, no fear of looking foolish in either of them, both hungerly seeking the comic truth in each and every moment of the show, yet at the same time, they show that the other side of hate is deep and abiding love, not indifference, and the changes both George and Charlotte go through during the course of the show, as they beat by beat avoid the easy way out of each line or moment in the show, and provide the audience with richness and emotional truth instead in a way that is stunningly honest and laughingly true.

Massaro and Collins are perfectly matched. Massaro's antics reminded me of Carol Burnett with a kind of subtle restraint while prancing across the stage in antics of anger, hostility and rapturous joy, that make her highs more realistic and just as funny as Burnett.

Collins, known widely as the voice of WBBM's traffic reports, and a community theatre veteran, gives what is perhaps the best and most challenging performance of his life. An expert in physical and character comedy, Collins is forced to add the romance of Romeo, the pathos of lear, the errors of Falstaff, and the drunken blindness of Stanley and Merrythought.

As George plunges though the stormy seas of this farce, swooping up and down, driven by the winds of fate, opportunity, his own stupidity, and the heights of fortune and misfortune, instead of a farcicle charade of a man, Collins gives us a man complete, torn by the pain he has brought to those he loves, wracked and ruined by remorse, blindly attempting to get on with it anyway, until at last our everyman falls, the great fall and lands as low as any man can, worse yet, in front of an icon of his dreams, the key to his future. Neitzsche or Kafka could not have planned it so well.

At this point in the show, many actors, would allow the script in hand to carry him on, riding on it to safely breezing through to the end; but Collins takes emotional risks in keeping with his growing maturity as an actor, baring his emotions in a way that gives Massaro room to do the same. So at the end of the farce, instead of a lighthearted wrapping up of ends a la Charley's Aunt, we have the two confronting the pain and trauma they have endured in their lives together and grow, together, changed by the ordeal they have suffered, to become someone new while remaining to themselves true.

Breathtaking and moving. I wish you could have been there. Watch for the cast in other productions.



Their daughter Roz, played by Lisa Marie Marciano and her estranged ex-boxfriend Paul played by Lorenzo Blackett are forcefully thrust together by the circumstances of the day in which Roz had only intended to introduce her new fiance Howard, played by David Korzatkowski to her parents, but is sucked back in to the chaos of the day by the disappearance of the production's Ingenue Eileen, played by Tiffani M. Moore. Marciano and Blackett are wonderfully cast and provide both a dramatic and, it must be said, very steamy, dramatic tension, that adds to the sweetness of the farce. Korzatkowski and Moore both bring and empty headed playfulness to their roles that crank up the tension, humor, and guffaws at just the right time. Like Collins,Massaro, Marciano and Blackett, Korzatkowski has an incredible sense of physical comedy, perhaps equal to that of Joe Collins who's own mastery of the physical comedic art form stops the show at three or four points, minimum.

In fact, it should be noted, that in the performance that I saw, Collins was so funny, that his last antic at the end of a scene in Act II, caused a second wave of laughter to start well after the blackout, as the audience re-visualized what they had seen him do just before the lights went out. Something I have never seen in 45 years of theater. A new spontaneous wave of laughter spreading through the audience while sitting in the darkness, starting a good 15 seconds after the lights went out, without a smart alec comment to trigger it. Unbelievable. Joe was just THAT funny.

Rick Baker was also excellent and very believable as Richard, the love-struck friend who wishes to steal Charlotte away from George and their near poverty and terrible traveling conditions. Presaging the aging baby-boom romanic love interest, Baker is suave, debonair, and quite convincing a someone who George could perceive as a threat to take away the woman he truly loves, Charlotte because of a moments weakness.

In every farce of this caliber there has to be a foil that comes in and out delivering sharp lines to skewer the leads. In this show it is Ethel, Charlotte's mother and the bane of George's existence played by South Side theater veteran Jan Dignan. Saying just how long Dignan has been treading he boards out here with her sister Choch would be telling. But this is truly one of her best performances and she plays the part of the wiley, cantankerous mother and seamstress with joy, verve and cunning nastiness and with a great deal of depth. One of her best performances as well and I have seen many of them.

So why did I love this show so much. I've given you a good deal of plot, but nothing that would make you laugh I think. That's because a great deal of the humor comes directly from the acting and directing in the show. It has to stand as one of the funniest shows I have ever seen (that of course I have not been in myself...).

I laughed hard and long and so did the rest of the audience. There were constant surprises. Hardly a line went wrong. The timing and tension required to keep the show moving was constantly upheld. Nary a line was swallowed. The pacing was fabulous and the cast seemed to know JUST How long to hold for a laugh to allow the audience to laugh.

And the show moved fast. A credit to the actors and directors. With intermissions the show ran well under two hours. It easily could have run 20 minutes longer with a less experienced cast. Lowrance and Scalzi seemed to have an instinct for getting the best out of their cast, using their strenghts to their best advantage.



Moore for example, the ingenue with something extra, who causes a huge fuss between George and jealous Charlotte, plays the wide-eyed innocent with aplomb until the time comes to reveal that she has more underneath than some had suspected and she gets exactly what she wants. Played to a t.

Blackett's performance as the frenetic manager and lover, and a much more determined lover than able manager, is a perfect foil to George as George freaks out, (Woody Allen on steroids without the accent), In his unique non-George way Blackett panics about whole groups of issues, but not when it comes to Roz. His changes when it comes to Roz are as surprising and funny, as they are tempting and disturbing to Roz's confidence in her engagement. Paul is after all, looking for an engagement of another kindl For a moment we think we are about to see another show altoghether when a plot element breaks the two apart before anything really good happens. Whew! It had been getting hot in there.

Marciano's conflicts as the daughter in search of normality, trying to break away from the perpetual craziness of her parent's life is also compelling, except, when disaster strikes, she is sucked back into it all to easily.

Credit must go of course to the writer of this gem, Ken Ludwig, who captured so well the essence of the times and the desires of those who wished to grasp fame and maintain their life on stage before it melted away.

So, were this show to go another weekend, which it cannot, sadly, I would have soundly recommended it. Instead, the best I can do is say, remember the actors, and the directors, and the group, the Beverly Theatre Guild, one of Chicago's oldest community theater groups.

Next Season BTG Plans to produce:
The Irish drama Dancing at Lughnasa by Brian Friel, October 24-26, 2008
The Musical The Full Monty by Terrance McNally and David Yazbek, February 6-9,2009
The Comedy Twentieth Century by Ken Ludwig, May 8-10th, 2009

You can print the form on this page to order season tickets and save $12 or more on ticket prices.




Hot Trash From the Audience: There was speculation about how full the monty would be for the full monty, and a few jokes in the audience about whether we would want to see some of our friend's montied at all. I assured those I sat with that I was not intending to audition as I wanted to help BTG build an audience rather than send them running to the exits, possibly scarred for life. More on that when they get closer to the production next year.


I am tired after being wired from the excitement of a great production so I hope the cast and you will forgive any typos herein. As always if you have a theatre production in the Chicago/NW Indiana Region to Promote send me the information well in advance to "Thepeteterfilesblog" At "Gmail" Dot "Com" and I will be happy to post what I can.

It helps a lot if you give me something in ready to post format. If you have pictures, especially at a website that I can link to, give me the links, or send me the photos as attachments and I will be glad to post what I can. As time has passed I do get quite a bit of response from actors knowing quite a few of them myself.

Finally, congratulations to the whole cast and crew of Moon over Buffalo. While I spent more time on Collins and Massaro, a production this complex does not succeed without incredible coordination and effort both onstage and backstage, a true ensemble effort. A.D. Scalzi was also the Stage Manager for the show, something she has a gift for. The show has a nightmarish number of entrances and exits, yet she looked calm and collected before the performance. The tech for the show was also perfect and the sets by Emil Zbella were also superb (as always Emil).

Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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Feedback to My Email Forwarding Friends

A message to all my friends who correspond with me mostly by forwarding email that scares them:

I just want to thank all of you for your educational emails over the past year.

Thanks to you:

I can no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking your nose. (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot) .

And don’t forget…..lemons!!!! Don’t get them in your drinks (if they still have the peel). Dirty hands are everywhere!!!!

Eating a Little Debbie sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom. Yuck!

I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

But that is O.K. because I am in the process of helping a wealthy dying Nigerian Businessman transfer funds to banks in the U.S. and I will receive $ millions for helping him do so.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

When I do drive, I can't drive at night for fear that a gang member will blink his lights at me and if I don't blink back the right code he will shoot me.

I now have to separate the 'Luckies' from the 'Charms' because if you eat them both together they will turn into a secret chemical that turns your skin green every St. Patrick's day.

Having visited it once, I now have to visit The Peter Files Blog of Comedy Satire Jokes Commentary and Videos every week because a competitor hacked this blog and now anyone who visits this blog or reads a forwarded post from it gets a special cookie that will melt down their computer's CPU if they don't visit at least once a week, every week. Though I hear if I forward this post to 50 people, the cookie will be removed from my machine once those 50 others visit the blog.

But I have a way to get back at you all for all you have done for me. This is really, truly, true, so you'd better do what I say!

If you don't forward this post to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump that looks like Britney Spears. 

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...

Have a wonderful day....

Oh, by the way......

A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity surf the internet with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

Thanks to my friend Tom for forwarding the email that contained these gems. 

Note: this post is a work of fiction and satire. Except for the part about the consequences for failing to forward this post,  all the things stated above are satire, parody, comedy and entirely fictional, especially if a trademarked product name appears. Those names belong to the trademark owners. Similarities between the names above and actual trademarks are a coincidence and nothing in this post should be considered a comment about any real product or trademark. Really. I have not stopped shopping or buying any of the products indicated above. Especially Diet Coke. Anyone who heeds internet warnings without checking that they are scams deserves all the anxiety they get. Dr. Pepper anyone?


Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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CNN on Britney Spears

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A Modest Proposal: The 4-day Work Week to Reduce Commute Costs and Gas Use

In the previous post one of my jokes was that we should move to a 4-day work week in summer time to help reduce fuel oil consumption.

I added to it that the work day should only be 9 hours long instead of 10. In effect, this would reduce the summer work week from 40-hours to 36 hours, but on 4 days instead of 5.

The benefit of this would be to reduce commuting gas consumption by 1 day per week per auto now commuting, or by about 20% while reducing the number of hours worked in the week by 4 or 10%.

It was initially a joke, but here is our chance to think about it. Is this such a far flung idea?

First, let's look at the idea of a four-hour per week cut in working hours since that would make the whole plan more workable. Ten hour workdays are long. Even with an extra day off per week, they are very hard. Nine on the other hand are not so bad.

An 8 to 4:30 day would become 8 to 5:30. Dinner would be later, but not horribly so. This would be offset by an extra day without work and commuting.

Next. Say most American's commute at least 1 hour per day round trip. In Chicago, many commute 2 -3 hours per day. So, losing one day's commute nearly entirely covers the longer days at work. In essence, by working longer four days a week the length of one day's total commute, many workers will then save not only the day worked, but that day's commute as well.

Now, for this to work, legislation would also be required so that full-time employee status/perks would not be lost by working 36 instead of 40 hours in the summer. There would be expenses required in altering payroll and accounting software to do this, but this has to be compared to the vast sums in fuel costs saved both in immediate savings at the pump, and in lowered prices because of lowered international demand.

While we may no longer be the whole international fuel consumption story anymore, a drop in U.S. fuel consumption caused by a 20% decline in auto commuting mileage might very well have a significant effect on gas prices.

Why do this in summer? To start with there are two big reasons.

In summer time the amount of sunlight available here is much greater. You work an extra hour a day and there is still plenty of sunlight left when you get home to spend time with the kids, your family, or your online connection. In winter, it will just be darker.

Also, as a summer program, the day off will be in the nicest weather of the year, when people are most inclined to play hooky and take spontaneous days off anyway. This program might actually help reduce summer absenteeism and help employers save money on their benefits packages.

How do we decide who gets to take what day off? Good question. One could argue that for maximum efficiency at the workplace everyone should take the same day off, Monday, Wednesday or Friday. In this way it will seem to the rest of the U.S. as if nothing has changed. We all start and stop at once and everyone is there when everyone needs us there for work reasons.

There is at least one disadvantage to this method however, it does not maximize fuel savings in areas with dense auto traffic. In areas like Chicago it would be much better for people to pick their own day off each week of the five, or rotate them, so that the reduction in normal summer auto commute traffic is spread through the week. Spreading out the reduction in auto traffic across the days of the week would reduce traffic congestion to its maximum and reduce gas wasted by stop and go traffic patterns.

A flaw in the system could be, let's be honest, is that if traffic gets too light that it might encourage those who use public transportation to drive instead because the hassles of driving are reduced.

However, this might be offset by reduced crowding on Public Transportation vehicles during commuting times. Making public transportation more comfortable and reliable since most schedule delays such as bus bunching occur due to unexpected overcrowding on a bus route. System planners would have to take into account that the commute flows would be longer, but the work schedules for transit workers already put more vehicles out in the early evening than are needed to complete an 8 hour day for transit workers. 

Yep, there's a complex problem, how do you handle the 36-hour week for employees in jobs like bus and train operator? Carefully at first. Though they already hire summer help since most transit workers want to take a vacation in the summer just like everybody else.  They may just wind up "picking" their summer work schedules just like they do now. With as little flexibility as they do now, but with the same degree of reliability for themselves.

Oh, that leads to the overtime question. When does it kick in? After 36 hours or 40? Good question. I think that might have to depend on business size. But since employers would be gaining some efficiency by having workers focused on a more limited number of days and being able to alter hiring during the summer to use workstations differently, having 10-15% more employees if they desire without increasing office space, it might be that over 9 hours in a day where all 36 were worked would have to be the rule. However, to what degree should we discourage employers from creating 5th day overtime among salaried employees.

A lot I should think. But then again, we are in an economic system that encourages many extra hours and hard work. So perhaps for exempt employees this does not make sense at all. But perhaps, at least for one season a year, it should.

Well, some initial thoughts on a modest proposal, more modest than that one by Jonathan Swift at any rate. Easier to swallow too.

Oh, we could combine it with another idea I had, legislated 40% parking discounts for those who show up with 3 riders in a parking lot in downtown areas that are in ozone non-attainment zones. Or wherever air pollution is bad. There might have to be some kind of tax rebate to garage operators to help pay for this, but the benefits in reduced auto usage would be substantial.

What are your thoughts on this. I'm looking for ideas to help make something work. Not catcalls on why all ideas are doomed to fail. What better ideas do you have?

Oh, yes, if people are at home one day a week they may do some driving as well. But home-based non-work trips tend to be a lot shorter than driving to work commuter trips so probably the gas usage will be lower. The emissions might not because of something called the "cold start" phenomenon. Of course, if the weather is really sweltering, getting the auto engine up to maximum fuel efficiency should be a lot quicker in the summer in cold areas than in the winter.

It is so nice that the nice warm weather is starting to be regular here!

See:http://edition.cnn.com/2008/BUSINESS/05/09/oil.prices.ap/index.html?iref=topnews

Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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Ways to Reduce Gas Prices and Energy Production Costs

Mandatory free school busing in all school districts reduces parent auto drop-off and pick up use.

Methane collection vents in the top of all rib joints, firehouses and country bars.

Whether events are inside or outside, the use of mandatory portable wind-powered electricity generators at all political election events, fundraisers or debates.

Threaten oil-producing states with U.S. forced air broadcasts of The Partridge Family, The Brady Bunch, Menudo Concerts, The Cheetah Girls, Charlie's Angels, Miami Vice, The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, and 24-hour repeats of all Joan Rivers Red Carpet interview specials ever recorded on several open-air TV channels.

If they resist, threaten them with Richard Simmons exercise videos, Roseanne, Maude, and our secret weapon, Barney the Purple Dinosaur.

Require gas stations to give away a free bicycle after every $3,000 of gas purchased. (10 SUV fill-ups).

Mandatory 4-day work weeks in summers with 9 hour workday max (Mondays off? We all hate them anyway). 

This will reduce work commute gas consumption by 20% in summertime when they soak us for high prices anyway. Threaten to do the same thing in winter when there is no sunlight to do anything fun anyway.

Downtown Parking Garages must give 40% discounts to those who arrive with 2 passengers before 9am. They collect signed forms to use for tax rebates to offset cost.

We all move to Abu Dabi!

See: http://edition.cnn.com/2008/BUSINESS/05/09/oil.prices.ap/index.html?iref=topnews

Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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Drizzle, Drazzle, Drazzle, Drone, Time For Clinton To Go Home

It's been a heck of a fight, and there have been a lot of things I did not like about it, but tonight's results show me, that even with CNN's projection that Clinton took Indiana, the 147 vote delegate count Obama lead still creates a hurdle that is too high for Clinton to breach between now and the end of the primaries. 

America loves a fighter and a scrappy underdog. But if Clinton does not win the nomination and winds up dragging Obama through the dirt to try to get it, she risks being seen as the Ralph Nader of the 2008 political season. Of course, she could win. The Chicago Cubs and the Chicago White Sox could also fight each other out in the World Series this year.

With all due respect, and respect is due, that it is time for Senator Hillary Clinton to end her campaign for President and begin her campaign for the Vice-Presidential nomination.

147 Delegates is too many. Democrats will not stand for a super-delegate win when the regular delegate vote puts Obama ahead. It would cause the same kind of disillusionment that the Party faced after the Gore vote theft defeat.

Her name will still be on the last ballots of course, but pulling out now will make her appear to be an actual uniter instead of a divider and at this time, this is what the Democratic Party needs. So think Ms. Clinton. Sometimes hubris isn't enough.

AND IF WE CAN'T TRUST YOU TO FACE UP TO THE TRUTH AND ADMIT IT DURING AN ELECTION WHAT THE HECK SHOULD WE EXPECT YOU TO DO IN OFFICE?

After arguably eight years of the worst White House in human history, the Democratic Party MUST stop the infighting NOW and start working on the Presidential Campaign.

Ms. Clinton is an ideal VP candidate because she reaches the rest of the demographics that Obama does not. Looking at their vote totals from state to state they make an indomitable team. Clinton as VP will encourage Republican Woman crossover that will exceed whatever Male residual Clinton hating is left over.

They are both smart as hell, they both can work together. But the Dems always wait too long giving the Republicans a huge advantage when it comes to getting rolling for the fall.

Why do this?

Obama's lead might be mathematically possible to beat, but NC and enough of Indiana did not fall for the Rev. Wright "issue relevance" late election season scam that started somewhere.

No matter what or how it started, we now know enough about Senator Obama to see past whose Church he went to as an issue. It's not something that should be relevant as an election issue and we all know it.

That kind of thing died with the "Jack Kennedy will take orders from the Pope" lies from Nixon's campaign.

Americans LIKE Barack Obama. He's proven his electability to all but a few North-Shore Illinois Chicago Cubs Fans and they never give up.

We'll see what happens. But trying to "scandal" Obama some more isn't going to work, folks. Not while memories of Whitewater and that blue dress and other things it is not fair to taint Hillary with pop into mind when someone tries to stick something on Senator Obama.

What I really want of course is a great president. They are both capable. But I think the dems have spoken over all and think Obama is either better or a more winning Presidential candidate. At least given that Obama Girl does not look 35 yet.

I hope we get one.

But already I see signs of Republican scandal following the Bush Administration mistakes coming for maybe the next 8 years. So if we don't get some dems in now, once the do get in, they'll be in forever.

Or, maybe I've just been juggling cats too long tonight and am getting goofy. When looking for political commentary consider the source. Then again, maybe this humble comedy blogger is about as good as anyone else out there tonight.

Click the CNN link for the latest results.


http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/05/06/primaries.change/index.html

Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

PS. I'D VOTE FOR YOU OVER W ANY DAY MS. CLINTON!!!!!!

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Moon Your Mom For Mother's Day: Brunch & Moon Over Buffalo Comedy Treat!

Moon Your Mom for Mother's Day? 

Of course its a joke! A Whole Laugh riot! 

With a yummy brunch included. The Spectacular Beverly Theatre Guild, Beverly Hills Oldest Performing Arts Group invites you and your Mom and Grandmother to their Brunch and Show Treat on Mother's Day at 11:00 am at the Garden Chalet 11100 South Ridgeland followed by a 2pm performance of the Hilarious Hilarious Comedy Moon Over Buffalo at the Brand new Beverly Arts Center 111th and Western Avenue.

Brunch Space is limited so call 708-361-0400 today!

Click image for larger view.

Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker

The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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Audition Notice: Oak Lawn Park District Theatre: Seussical The Musical: May 4th - 8th, 2008

Audition Notice: Seussical The Musical 

The Oak Lawn Park District Theatre

Auditions: May 4th - May 8th, 2008

(Peter's note: Oak Lawn Park District shows are both fun to watch and be in. If you've ever wanted to be in a musical theater production, having singing and/or dancing talent, or want to work backstage, this may be the chance you've been looking for with very nice people and high quality productions. But expect to work HARD. Great shows don't get that way by accident, everyone here pulls their weight!)

The Oak Lawn Park District Theatre group has announced a casting call for its upcoming production of Seussical The Musical.

Auditions:

Sunday, May 4 from 1 - 5 pm, for children ages 8-12 and out of town college students.
Monday, May 5 and Tuesday, May 6 from 7:30 – 10:30 pm for adults.

Come in proper attire and be prepared to sing and dance.

Auditions will be held at the Oak View Center, 4625 W. 110th Street.

Seussical will run for two consecutive weekends, August 1-3 and August 8-10.

First rehearsal will be on June 8th.

For more information on auditions or the production, call the Oak Lawn Park District at (708) 857-2200.



Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos
Http://ThePeterFiles.blogspot.com

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