Avoiding Hurricanes

Hurricane Katrina's invasion of New Orleans hits close to home because it reminds me of my own experiences of having Hurricane Frederick, a smaller magnitude storm, pass right overhead one night while I was in Mobile, in May of 1979.

Map Source The Washington Post, Click to See Story



Avoiding Hurricanes, A Limerick

Hurricanes as a rule are no fun
And when over hard work's just begun
What with fallen down trees
Water up to your knees
You might wish out of town that you'd run!

Then the storm itself makes you upset
It's not just that you get all wet:
If your windows blow out,
All your clothes fly right out,
And you'd better hang on to your pet!

During Frederick we got quite a fright
We could hear pine trees snapping all night
It kept us awake
For we heard trees break
Until just before we saw sunlight.

I hope that in old New Orleans
This storm is not bad as it seems
The attack it could levy
Could be tragic and heavy
And I'd miss my beignet cafe creams.

So let's pray for Kingfish's City
Named after the Saint, oh so pretty
She faced tough battles too
And God saw her through
So perhaps on her town He'll take pity.

Well that's the end of these rhymes
As I think of many good times
And the friends that I've made
And not at parades!
I pray for them with these few lines.

Good luck y'all, especially, all those I know down in Thibodaux (go E.D. White!), N.O., Gulf Shores, Pascagoula, Mobile, Pensacola and anywhere else affected by the storm.

Peter

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Custom Postcard Fun with LetterJames

Want to have a lot of fun making really interesting highly customizable postcards, photos, posters, etc?

Then LetterJames may be just the site for you. The site features some really interesting and innovative templates and you can use these to send e-postcards, or for a fee get the real thing a long with other interesting items.

The kick is, a lot of the backgrounds where you fill in text are non-traditional, graffitii on the Berlin Wall, Changing Road and Emergency Signs, Metro Stop Signs, Beach Sand, Etc.

Better yet, you often have far more interesting places to add text, and the fonts fit in very well with the background, making the cards much closer personal works of art, than just playthings. Though what I am going to show you in this post definately fall into the playthings category, that or outright propaganda.

You can then send yourself the image in a postcard, or, drag it to your desktop, change the name, to something smaller and more useful and away you go. Of course to have something printable you have to pay for it, but for say your blog profile photo or a forum sig, it just might be the thing.

Of course if you order a poster, I am sure the quality with be much higher. That is how they make their money after all. Here are a few, blog promo ones I put together just as examples.

Just makes you feel kind of good that the Peter Files Blog might have been there just before the Berling Wall came tumbling down. Of course that's ridiculous. But that's what this blog is all about.

I like this next one. How come we never get road signs warning us of good blogs ahead?

Clearly a failure of the Democratic process and the Republican Administration. LOL

Here's another one of those wall throwbacks. Still the harshness is something to see. I wonder how many have used this as a breakup card?

I had a lot of fun doing this one, but it took forever to get the big sign text centered. The sign of the far right refers to the fact that the Amazon ads that appear on this blog often feature special sales and that when you use the search box at the top you never pay more than going straight there. But you also support this blog. You also, when you buy used books, help someone like you get rid of thier stuff. Electronics, computers, clothes, lots of other stuff now too.

Here is a simple wall one, short and to the point.

This is a wacky-serious attempt at matching 60's sentiments with the relic of the cold war. Love how the font really works here.

A nice bow to transit, French at that. Of course, anywhere I can sneak in a pun, I am happy.

What! How did that get there! Leave the keyboard alone for two minutes! I shudder to think what he'll be doing by the time he reaches age 3.

A less crowded, more direct road sign. Sometimes simple is better.

Well I hope you enjoyed these. This was only a tiny bit of creativity used here. I am sure that you could come up with something much funnier. If you do and post it on a website or flicker, please put a link in the comments here so that we can all enjoy it.

That's it for this file! See you next time,

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Get the Most Out of Google with the Google Search Cheat Sheet

Want to find things faster using Google?

Want to sort through one or two results pages instead of twenty?

Want to find an address or phone number without going to a special address book site?

Want to be sure adult content is excluded from your Google Queries?

Want to learn a few dozen tricks that will make your searches, faster, smarter, better than before and for free?

Want to search for files by filetype?

Then try the Quick Reference: Google Advanced Operators (Cheat Sheet) by Nancy Blachman, also known as the Google Guide (see link below).

This guide will help you search for everything you need to know including definitions, linked searches, currency and other value conversions, in short all kinds of useful information straight from the Google.com search engine.

Lot's of information packed on one single page that loads quickly and includes useful links to the CCL 2205 Google Guide and other pages.

So unless you are a web search expert, this is a page worth checking out.
Google Guide Quick Reference: Google Advanced Operators (Cheat Sheet)

That's it for this file.

Peter

Search: "google blachman site:http://thepeterfiles.blogspot.com"

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WorldNetDaily: Walken not runnin' – except on Internet - ActorCrats Seeking New Celebrity Candidate

The new ActorCraticic Party, dedicated to the belief that actors are more trustworthy, likeable, and can do a better job in general than professional politicians were dealt a serious blow this week when it started to become clear that the website announcing Actor Chrisopher Walker's intentions to run for President in 2008 was merely an online hoax rather than the excitement inducing fantasy that they had been craving since Ahnold became Governor of California.

The Article about the web page featuring Walken's candadicy was first featured in thte Wordnetdaily.com.news (according to themselves) and it was they who did the quick reporting to discover the truth about the matter.

WorldNetDaily: Walken not runnin' – except on Internet


Actor's publicist believes hoax campaign for president inspired by latest movie role - (Excerpt)
Posted: August 20, 2005, 4:15 p.m. Eastern, © 2005 WorldNetDaily.com

Christopher Walken

America can breathe a little easier today – actor Christopher Walken will not be making a bid for the presidency in 2008, according to his publicist, who calls the Internet campaign to elect the often spooky movie persona 'a hoax.'

WorldNetDaily was first to question the 'official campaign website' announcing the White House ambitions of the actor known for psychologically damaged characters in 'The Deer Hunter,' 'The Dead Zone' and dozens of other movies going back to Woody Allen's 'Annie Hall.'

According to a press release posted on the website, the 62-year-old New Yorker had laid out a few positions, but didn't plan any active campaigning until he had completed some acting obligations.

'Mr. Walken has greatly admired the celebrities who have entered politics and he wants to be able to give a good name and reputation to the acting community as well as the political community,' his agent Toni Howard was quoted as saying. 'As for going national with this news, we have not made any plans for the immediate future.'

Well, whatever future plans Walken has, they don't include running for president, says his publicist, Mara Buxbaum.

'The person who put this together was just trying it as a hoax, I presume,' Buxbaum told the Los Angeles Times. 'My take on it is it sounds like the person who put this on the Web took his role ... in 'Wedding Crashers' too seriously and now wants him to run for the presidency.'

In Walken's latest film, 'Wedding Crashers,' New Line Cinema's hit comedy that has already grossed $165 million domestically, the actor plays the U.S. secretary of the Treasury. At one point in the movie, Walken, as Secretary Cleary, warns fellow actor Vince Vaughn,"I am a very powerful man."

Walken's screen persona is indeed powerful – and at times menacing, creepy, evil and exuding fear. The actor was recently described by a New Zealand newspaper as someone with "sunken green eyes and sandy, spiky hair, which is standing so erect you'd think he dropped his toaster in his bath this morning."

"It has something to do with 'Annie Hall' and 'The Deer Hunter' being made back-to-back," the actor told an Australian newspaper. "'Annie Hall' was a great movie and a lot of people saw I played a crazy guy. Right after that I shot myself in 'The Deer Hunter.' From then on I got to play the guy who has something wrong with him."

"I don't need to be made to look evil. I can do that on my own," the actor, who once screen tested for Ryan O'Neal's role in Love Story, told an interviewer.

Walken's agent, Toni Howard of International Creative Management – who denies making the statement attributed to her on the faux campaign website – dismisses the idea of Walken's running for office.

"I don't know where they got it," Howard said. "That's like saying Tim Robbins is running on the Republican ticket. (Walken) is the least political guy I know." (Follow link above to see the rest of the story.)

Actorcrat Party Scrambling for New Leadership - Exclusive to The Peter Files

In the mean time Actortcrats everywhere are now scrambling after initially abandoning their lists of favorites at Walken's announcement. Walken's fear factor had been strong enough, immediately making sense as a viable Presidential candidate that he wiped out both humorous and serious notions alike.

Some old time humorous notious such as Willard Scott, Tim Conway, George Carlin, Billy Bob Thorton, Fred Willard, Phoebe from Friends, David Letterman and Jay Leno were ambivelent about being pushed out as it would have interfered with their schedules.

More serious contenders are being rexamined in hopes of being talked into it once again, each has the Reganesque advantage of looking both very intelligent and very presidential. They are: Harrison Ford, Kevin Kline, Charlie Rose (Not strictly an actor, but very popular with the late night public television set), James Earl Jones, Tommie Lee Jones, Ed Asner, Cher, Oprah, and Anjelica Huston.

Walken's announcement came as a complete surprise to the ActorCratic party which was starting to gear up planning for its first primaries ever.

Leadership in the party is gearing up to salvage things, because the last thing they want, is to be the butt end of a joke that ends,

"Its the ActorCrats"!


Peter

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Actor Christopher Walken Stuns Wimps - Announces 2008 Presidential Bid

Actor Christopher Walken Stuns Wimps - Announces 2008 Presidential Bid

In a surprise move, star Christopher Walken stunned wimps everywhere by announcing on August 9, 2005 that he is running as an independent candidate for President of the United States of America in the 2008 Presidential Election.

Christopher Walken 2008


"Our great country is in a terrible downward spiral. We're outsourcing jobs, bankrupting social security, and losing lives at war. We need to focus on what's important-- paying attention to our children, our citizens, our future. We need to think about improving our failing educational system, making better use of our resources, and helping to promote a stable, safe, and tolerant global society. It's time to be smart about our politics. It's time to get America back on track."

-Christopher Walken

The Official Homepage of the Walken 2008 Campaign

Walken could be the very candidate needed to wipe out a Nader or a Jeb Bush candidacy once and for all. The very prospect of Walken in the race being enough to scare either out of the race comepletely, and, anyone not serious about a better America away from the polls.

Is this a good or a bad thing? Only time will tell.

Make your comments below!

Peter

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Google Maps - Buckingham Palace Road, Westminster, Greater London,

Just finished reading Patriot Games by Tom Clancy.

That's the one where Clancy's Jack Ryan becomes Sir Jack after saving the British Royal Family, Charles Di and the oldest of the kids from being kidnapped by... well, that's the story.

The movie has it different. The attack is on a lower level of Royalty which I thought was a cop out. Probably a response to political pressure. Well that's Hollywood. The original would have been much more interesting.

One of the interesting scenes not left out a scene that takes place in front of Buckingham Palace.

Google Maps - Buckingham Palace Road, Westminster, Greater London,

That got me wondering what would the Palace look like from above? Right-click the link above to see it.

Peter

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The Peter Files Reaches Exceeds 10,000 Hits, 15,000 Page Views

Thanks to all who have come to visit my blog since it began in the beginning of February. It is a little hard for me to believe how many people have taken a peek at my blog since I started out at the end of February.

At 1:53 this morning, or thereabouts, the 10,000th visitor clicked in with a page view listing of 15,477 or about 1.5 pages per visitor.

Here are some stats on that visitor:

Continent : Europe
Country : Germany
State/Region : Nordrhein-Westfalen
City : Hallenscheid
Lat/Long : 51.3, 7.6333

Initial Page visited:

The Peter Files Blonde Jokes Year in Review This page was designed after a joke submitted by my friend DZ recently and has proved to be very popular already.

Thanks to all those who have visited so far! Please tell your friends about this blog. Please also consider making any Amazon purchases this Holiday Season through the search engine box on this page. Thank you!

The Peter Files has now reached 94+ Countries depending on how you interpret "Other" in the list below. I find this personally amazing. What scope the internet has. I can't help wondering how many can actually read the content of my blog and how many are military or embassy staff far from home. If the latter, give a shout out in the comments section. Despite the occaisional twist at the expense of our nucular Commander in Chief, I feel strongly that you are extremely important to our safety and am proud of the work you are doing and am greatful for the risks you are taking to keep us all safe.

I just wish you know who had tasked 30-50 K more of you to look for Osama. He is one dangerous dude and I don't think you will be as safe as you should be over there until Daddy Osama Warbucks has his Testi, er, War bucks cut off. I know, you signed up for danger, that's why you garner so much respect over here. But it is also the duty of the CIC to be smart about how he puts you in harm's way.

That's more than I'm fit to say, cause I'm over here with a back injury and you're over there with sand up to your.... Good luck. Be safe.

Here's the list:

1. United States >>>>>4,721 .....66.98%
2. United Kingdom .>>>338 .....4.80%
3. Germany >>>>>>>>>280 .....3.97%
4. Canada >>>>>>>>>>>280 ....3.97%
5. Netherlands >>>>>>>>119 ....1.69%
6. Australia >>>>>>>>>>115 .....1.63%
7. France >>>>>>>>>>>>96 .....1.36%

Less than 1 Percent of Visits.

8. Italy >>>>>>>>>>>>>67 ......0.95%
9. Belgium >>>>>>>>>>>64 .....0.91%
10. United Arab Emirates >59 ...0.84%
11. Spain >>>>>>>>>>>>>58 ...0.82%
12. Switzerland >>>>>>>>>57 ...0.81%
13. Japan >>>>>>>>>>>>>49 ...0.70%
14. Poland >>>>>>>>>>>>44 ...0.62%
15. Sweden >>>>>>>>>>>>44 ..0.62%
16. Singapore >>>>>>>>>>41 ....0.58%

Less than half a percent (at which point I won't be correcting the tabbing.)
17. Norway 32 0.45%
18. Other 32 0.45%
19. Denmark 28 0.40%
20. Austria 27 0.38%
21. India 27 0.38%
22. Turkey 24 0.34%
23. Saudi Arabia 24 0.34%
24. Russian Federation 23 0.33%
25. Finland 23 0.33%
26. Brazil 22 0.31%
27. Israel 21 0.30%
28. Malaysia 19 0.27%
29. Ireland 17 0.24%
30. Argentina 17 0.24%
31. Mexico 17 0.24%
32. Taiwan 15 0.21%
33. Peru 14 0.20%
34. Thailand 13 0.18%
35. New Zealand 12 0.17%
36. Korea (South) 12 0.17%
37. Greece 11 0.16%
38. Portugal 11 0.16%
39. Czech Republic 11 0.16%
40. Chile 10 0.14%
41. Venezuela 10 0.14%
42. South Africa 10 0.14%
43. Oman 9 0.13%
44. Iran 9 0.13%
45. Bulgaria 7 0.10%

Less than a tenth of a percent of visits (wow!)
46. Philippines 6 0.09%
47. Slovenia 6 0.09%
48. Azerbaijan 5 0.07%
49. Hong Kong 5 0.07%
50. Croatia (Hrvatska) 5 0.07%
51. Hungary 4 0.06%
52. China 4 0.06%
53. Romania 4 0.06%
54. Guam 4 0.06%
55. Kuwait 4 0.06%
56. Iceland 3 0.04%
57. Colombia 3 0.04%
58. Bermuda 3 0.04%
59. Brunei Darussalam 3 0.04%
60. Indonesia 3 0.04%
61. Egypt 3 0.04%
62. Sudan 3 0.04%
63. Ukraine 3 0.04%
64. Uruguay 2 0.03%
65. Yemen 2 0.03%
66. Dominican Republic 2 0.03%
67. Estonia 2 0.03%
68. Lithuania 2 0.03%
69. Moldova 2 0.03%
70. Puerto Rico 2 0.03%
71. Nigeria 2 0.03%

OK 1 visit from each of these countries, less than one thousandth of my visits. More actually, shouldn't that be one ten-thousandth? Amazing. This is the wonder of the world wide web.
If you are form a place like this, PLEASE leave a comment.

72. Nicaragua 1 0.01%
73. Saint Kitts and Nevis 1 0.01%
74. Pakistan 1 0.01%
75. French Polynesia 1 0.01%
76. Northern Mariana Islands 1 0.01%
77. Malta 1 0.01%
78. Mauritius 1 0.01%
79. Maldives 1 0.01%
80. Luxembourg 1 0.01%
81. Latvia 1 0.01%
82. Libya 1 0.01%
83. Jordan 1 0.01%
84. Cote D'Ivoire (Ivory Coast) 1 0.01%
85. Ghana 1 0.01%
86. Gibraltar 1 0.01%
87. Bolivia 1 0.01%
88. Bahamas 1 0.01%
89. Belize 1 0.01%
90. Cyprus 1 0.01%
91. Benin 1 0.01%
92. Zimbabwe 1 0.01%
93. Trinidad and Tobago 1 0.01%
Total 7,048* 100.00%

*This number should be a bit higher because we began counting with this counter late in March, or early April which accounts for the total differenct between this count and the
10,000 K reported a the top of this message.

Thanks for all who have been visiting and making my blog fun and a sucess!

Peter

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A Wine For Those Whose Sleep is Interrupted

Announcing the wine with something extra!

That just goes to show you that the old adage is true, sometimes, More IS Less. Especially is the Wee, Wee hours of the night.

Pino More, available at Senior Centers everywhere. May not be used with certain prescription and over the counter drugs.


Now that's a Peter File!

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Why I Have a Mac - Reason 13

This clip featuring Bill Gates at Comdex '98 is pretty much self explanatory.

Click Here to see the Quicktime clip again.


For those of you in the Windows world, OSX almost NEVER completely freezes because we always have the option to individually force quit a single application.

Experience Mac, you'll never want to go back. Check it out via the Amazon.com link above.


Peter

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ChicagoPlays.com

Chicago is one of the most exciting places for live theatre in the country and ChicagoPlays.com is the plays to get information and tickets for each show. Sponsored by the League of Chicago Theaters the site features information about member stages.


ChicagoPlays.com Sponored by The League of Chicago Theatres:



"This Week's Openings

China Doll

Silk Road Theatre Project at The Chicago Temple


Sunday Double Header

The Second City at Donny's Skybox/Second City Training Center



Henry 4 (part one)

Stockyards Theatre Project at Theatre Building Chicago


Murder at Bunny & Clyde's

Murder Mystery Productions at Metropolis Performing Arts Centre


Sin


Letting Go Theatre Co. at Breadline Theatre


La Traviata

L'Opera Piccola at Athenaeum Theatre


The Cryptogram

Journeymen at Stage Left Theatre


The Merry Widow


Light Opera Works at Cahn Auditorium



That's it for this theatrical file,

Peter

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How to Freak People Out in Your Spare Time

Note: The Peter Files passes along these suggestions for their humor value alone. Anyone actually implementing these suggestiongs does so at their own risks, is an idiot, and indemnifies this blog and any participants from any harms, torts, damages they may cause or incur as a result of doing anything implied in this humorous, satiric post. Anyone attempting to prove elsewise in court or any other place does so with the proviso that The Peter Files or their representatives may come to their door at any time and place them in a bag with a tiger, lion or other animal in punishment for their anti-darwinesque foolishness.

How to Freak People Out in Your Spare Time

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses On and Point Your
Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.


See If They Slow Down.


2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. After no response, demand your presence at the intercom in increasingly strident terms. Then repeatedly page a dead corporate founder or co-worker saying that a dead U.S. President is calling for him or her. Nixon is always a good choice here.


3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries With That.


4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In "Box""


5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso or better, undiluted Cuban Coffee, if available.


6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"


7. Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. dont use any punctuation at all long and really technical reports supposedly written by a co-worker the key which is to make it very difficult to review are people going to be able to tell when one sentance begins and another sentance complex and compelling as it may be the average person not use to convoluted and involuted structures to discriminate the parts of speech easy to discern when talking without the cues obivous in oral conversation no damn it no i say this is why any english teacher particularly and especially those raised on britannicas shores are now afflicted with outrage and pain particularly in the tummy area as this puntification may be most distressing and the cause of sleeplessness anxiety and girdles are an effective remedy for that extra few inches are they not which help their ladies come to fine events


9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.


10. Order A Diet Water Whenever You Go Out To Eat.


11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."


12. Sing Along At The Opera.


13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme


14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play Tropical Sounds All Day, once in awhile add a little spice by playing the Theme Song from Johnny Quest.

Press Play to Hear The Theme Song from Johnny Quest

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.


16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, "The Big Purple Thingy", which you say is a reference to your oft bruised schnozzola, but it's not.



17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won! Now I Can Afford A Colostomy Bag! I Won!!!!!!"



18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling
"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!! They're Loose!!! Oh, God!! I Want My Mommy!!!"



19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To
Have To Let One Of You Go. Be ready for a potty training exam and room inspection 30 minutes after dinner."


20. Be really lazy at work, make a lot of mistakes, and when you are called on it by your boss, admit that you are actually, your twin brother Abner who is covering for yourself because you were out of sick for the last 4 days due to an emergency appendectomy and did not want to get fired. Then tell him that you were doing pretty well until you were wheeled into surgery and went into a coma, because now you have no one to answer your questions about what your cousin did at work.


Beg your boss not to fire your twin (you) because now that you have had this surgery, because of the job's lousy health benefits you will be tied to your stupid job for at least another 3 years just to get out from under the medical bills, assuming you do. In the mean time, you beg to be able to continue to do continue your cousin's job and be considered for a job on the late shift.



21. And The Final Way To Freak People Out in Your Spare Time.......

While standing in the elevator keep your eyes on the numbers going up and down and mutter, "God, please don't have this one crash again today, please, not today, yesterday was bad enough, please not today..." over and over again. This is particularly effective in really tall office buildings, and the effect can be, er, heightened with the pre-application of a neck brace and other bandages.


Of course, who's got time for this kind of nonsense, anyway? Not when a big square of Saran Wrap can be neatly fitted over a toilet seat in less than 30 seconds.

Let's wrap this file,

Peter

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Who Does What Around the House

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew
the coffee each morning.

The wife said, 'You should do it, because
you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
coffee.'

The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around
here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just
wait for my coffee.'

Wife replies, 'No, you should do it. And
besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.' Husband
replies, 'I can't believe that; show me.'

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and
showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed
says..........




'HEBREWS' "

Another Pun brought to you by, the Peter Files

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The Blonde Year in Review

Thanks again to my friend Debbie for another funny one for the blog.

She calls this:

The Blonde Year in Review

January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

February - Couldn't work in a pharmacy because the bottles wouldn't fit into
the typewriter.

March - Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because
the box said "2-4 years."

April - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

May - Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those
little packets.

June - Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a
slope.

July - After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained to
the judges that the other swimmers were using their arms.

August - Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their
locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top
was down.

September - When asked what the capital of California was: answered "C."

October - Hates M &M's because they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked a turkey for 4 days because the instructions said 1 hour
per pound and she weighed 120.

December - Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone button.

If you are offended by the apparent sexism in this joke, feel free to drop the initial s off the gender declaring word.

For those that are blonde, and cannot figure out what a gender declaring word might be, just go to a post in the archives, you will have forgotten why you are angry in the next 30 seconds anyway, presuming that you remember now, given the length of this sentance which may not be as long as the preamble to the Constitution of the United States of America, but may be a close second and for this reason, and for many others, among them how nice it is to be a blonde, I am sure right now you are feeling very happy, so happy that you feel like doing a search at the top of the page for something like shoes or an iPod and buying them right now.

Wouldn't that make you feel happy? Yes! I can see it would.

Blondes look really good with iPods don't they?

And everyone knows that peas are really good for you , right?

Peter

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When That Shark Bites On Your Hook Man!

Man Bites Shark!

Well, sort of. Imagine yourself fishing in the ocean, maybe expecting a marlin, or a swordfish, when suddenly you realize that you have hooked a giant 700-pound shark!

Dah-dum, dah-dum, da da da daaaaa! Landed Sharks! Landed Sharks!
(Just a little homage to Saturday Night Live, Chevy Chase, Gilda Radner, John Belushi, Garret Morris, Dan Akroyd, Steve Martin and all the others who participated in the Land Shark skits.)

Fisherman Lands 700-pound Mako Shark Story by News 4 Jacksonville Florida

Boy, does this fella look mean. How'd ya like to be on the other end of a thin little fishing line from this baby eh? I bet you'd be as surprised as this crew member when the shark jumped 20 feet in the air above your little fishing boat. Good thing he didn't land on the boat.

Even getting a shark like this out of the water is a big deal.

But it was a weekend for big sharks I guess. On the east coast another crew landed an 1,100 pound tiger shark as part of the Massachusetts Monster Shark Derby. That was not a typing error, 1,100 pounds, a half-ton tiger shark. About half the weight of smaller cars.

This fish was so big that the crew could not get it into its own boat and had to drag it in. Ironically, that made it 6 minutes late for the contest deadline.

Humans have been fishing since the beginning of humanity (there, that avoids the evolution/creation argument) yet you have to wonder how those 2,000 years ago would have looked at fish this size.

Surely they would have been depicted as monsters from the ends of the earth, or sent by God or the gods to punish us. Can you imagine the crew of a Ra expedition-like boat coming across one of these?

Let's hope that now that these have been caught that they will be made good use of rather than wasted, since I doubt that they will be able to adorn anyone's fireplace.

That's it for this file from the sea.

Click the link above to see more photos.

The last photo in the first slide show, takes you to the second slide show.

Captain Peter, of the Good Ship Albatross

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Gas Price Poll

Final Days of the Poll!

Please take this month's poll inspired by gas prices everywhere!

If the price of gas doubled tomorrow, and convenient public transportation were available, would you switch (continue) to use public transportation?

Yes, I already use public transporatation for most of my trips.Yes, I already use public transportation for some of my trips.Yes, public transportation is available, I don't use it but would switch.Yes, it is not available now, but I would use it.Yes, it would just take longer for me to be able to afford to drive.Yes, but only for work trips.I might or might not, we have no public transportation service now.No, I will drive till they tear my steering wheel out of my cold dead fingers.No, I do not know how to use public transportation.No, public transportation does not go where I need to go.No, money is not a factor in whether I drive where I am going.No, I have the car, why should I take public transportation?No, I walk or bike everywhere.No, $5.60 a gallon is still cheap compared to having to put up with other people.No, I like the feeling of control when I drive too much.No, public transportation does not operate when I need it to.No, the day the price of gas doubles is the day I buy a Humvee.No, that is exactly why we bought a hybrid this year, na, na, na, na.Oh, God, don't even SAY that, I have no freaking idea! Auuugh!

Free polls from Pollhost.com

Surprising Poll Results Analysis to come soon!

Peter

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Redneck's Playing Around With Molotov Cocktails. Don't Do This.

Don't do this. Just don't.

The background music is If You Gotta Be Dumb You Gotta Be Tough. This Windows media player film pretty much sums up the tradition that God protects fools, drunks and small children. The first two seem to apply here. Again, don't do this. It is really funny though.

The music adds a lot. If you are watching with a 56K connection, I would download the video and then play it, or, let the whole film load before pressing play, otherwise the music will be hard to follow and it is an important part of the video.

Parts of this site wildboston.com are not safe for work, but this video is. In fact, it wil probably draw an enormous crowd around your cubicle if you let it. Be sure you want that if you play this with your speakers on.

Rednek's (sic) playing around with molotov cocktails.


Hope you enjoy the video. Again, don't do this. The fact that we are not seeing a video of self-immolation here is a matter of dumb redneck luck.

That's it for this file.

My name is Peter and these are my files.

Please comment if you enjoy them.

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