The Blonde Year in Review
Thanks again to my friend Debbie for another funny one for the blog.
She calls this:
The Blonde Year in Review
January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.
February - Couldn't work in a pharmacy because the bottles wouldn't fit into
the typewriter.
March - Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because
the box said "2-4 years."
April - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.
May - Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those
little packets.
June - Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a
slope.
July - After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained to
the judges that the other swimmers were using their arms.
August - Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their
locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top
was down.
September - When asked what the capital of California was: answered "C."
October - Hates M &M's because they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked a turkey for 4 days because the instructions said 1 hour
per pound and she weighed 120.
December - Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone button.
If you are offended by the apparent sexism in this joke, feel free to drop the initial s off the gender declaring word.
For those that are blonde, and cannot figure out what a gender declaring word might be, just go to a post in the archives, you will have forgotten why you are angry in the next 30 seconds anyway, presuming that you remember now, given the length of this sentance which may not be as long as the preamble to the Constitution of the United States of America, but may be a close second and for this reason, and for many others, among them how nice it is to be a blonde, I am sure right now you are feeling very happy, so happy that you feel like doing a search at the top of the page for something like shoes or an iPod and buying them right now.
Wouldn't that make you feel happy? Yes! I can see it would.
Blondes look really good with iPods don't they?
And everyone knows that peas are really good for you , right?
Peter
She calls this:
The Blonde Year in Review
January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.
February - Couldn't work in a pharmacy because the bottles wouldn't fit into
the typewriter.
March - Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because
the box said "2-4 years."
April - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.
May - Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those
little packets.
June - Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a
slope.
July - After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained to
the judges that the other swimmers were using their arms.
August - Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their
locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top
was down.
September - When asked what the capital of California was: answered "C."
October - Hates M &M's because they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked a turkey for 4 days because the instructions said 1 hour
per pound and she weighed 120.
December - Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone button.
If you are offended by the apparent sexism in this joke, feel free to drop the initial s off the gender declaring word.
For those that are blonde, and cannot figure out what a gender declaring word might be, just go to a post in the archives, you will have forgotten why you are angry in the next 30 seconds anyway, presuming that you remember now, given the length of this sentance which may not be as long as the preamble to the Constitution of the United States of America, but may be a close second and for this reason, and for many others, among them how nice it is to be a blonde, I am sure right now you are feeling very happy, so happy that you feel like doing a search at the top of the page for something like shoes or an iPod and buying them right now.
Wouldn't that make you feel happy? Yes! I can see it would.
Blondes look really good with iPods don't they?
And everyone knows that peas are really good for you , right?
Peter
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posted by The Peter Files Blog of Comedy : Thursday, August 11, 2005
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