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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

China Lays Groundwork For Japan Visit By China's President: Security Detail May Include 5,000 Tanks 4,000,000 Troops For Premier's Visit


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According to an AP report cited on CNN today: "China's Foreign Minister Yang Jiechi left Thursday for a trip to Japan where he is expected to finalize details for a landmark official visit by China's President (Hu) early next month."

Peter Files Blog inexpert political souses have inferred from thin air that security arrangements for the Chinese President may include a surprise "Security Detail" of 5,000 tanks, 4,000,000 troops and an as yet undetermined lead-painted Thomas The Tanks Engine Red Trains.

When asked about the security arrangements by our Peter Files Blog China Desk Correspondent an unnamed spokesperson on the Chinese Delegate Staff had this to say:

Spokesperson: "Who you taking about?"
Peter Files Blog: "That's Right, Hu."
Spokesperson: "Who?"
Peter Files Blog: "Hu!"
Spokesperson: "He'll be coming to review."
Peter Files Blog: "The new Hu review?"
Spokesperson: "It may be a Zoo."
Peter Files Blog: "We heard his security detail might include troops?"
Spokesperson: "Whoops! Where did you get that idea, we no bring troops."
Peter Files Blog: "Are you sure Hu's not bringing 4,000,000 troops?"
Spokesperson: "This is a peaceful visit, who would bring troops on a peaceful visit? But Chinese exports include Hula Hoops!
Peter Files Blog: "Hu's bringing hoops?"
Spokesperson: "No hoops or troops! This peaceful visit! Peaceful!"
Peter Files Blog: "Many Thanks."
Spokesperson: "No, there will be no Tanks coming on this visit either!"
Peter Files Blog: "Not Tanks, Thanks, many thanks for your time."
Spokesperson: "No the rumor that President Hu's detail bring 5,000 tanks absolutely unfounded! You twist my words!"
Peter Files Blog: "Who's detail?"
Spokesperson: "You know who's detail, Hu's detail, the President's detail! President Hu's detail!"
Peter Files Blog: "The President is Bush?"
Spokesperson: "The President of China is not tired! He is full of energy! He does not need to bring army, I mean Security Detail to keep him awake."
Peter Files Blog: "Not like the American President. I'm not sure if he's awake even when he's awake."
Spokesperson: "Achoo!"
Peter Files Blog: "There you go again. Who?"

After reviewing this transcript, the Peter Files Blog Regrets this article and has decided to re-classify it from news/commentary to political satire and humor and to consider getting a new China Desk. They tend to be expensive so we may just hire a new foreign correspondent instead.


We just don't know.

Any volunteers. You?

The Peter Files Comedy Blog Paranoia Squad asks, why is it that it was the RED trains that were lead painted?

Hu knows?

Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Jokes, Satire, Commentary and Videos

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