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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Hard for Colts to Get Away From The Bears Jokes

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The Chicago Bears have had a great year. Now they are NFC champs heading towards the Super Bowl aiming to crush AFC champs the Indianapolis Colts. But do the Bears have an advantage by nature? Both their offensive and defensive lines have shown power and ingenuity this year in attacking their opposing teams. Perhaps they are taking lessons from their namesakes as this joke will tell.

One day an Indianapolis Colt Quarterback was hiking in the woods when a giant blue bear chases him up a really tall tree.

The bear started to climb the tree, so the QB climbed up higher. While bears can climb a bit, they are not by nature climbers, preferring a running and passing strategy. So eventually, the bear climbed down and went away.

After a little bit, the QB thinks that the bears is gone and starts to climb down the tree. But suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he’s brought an even bigger bear, possibly a linebacker or tackle, with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the Colts
QB climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn’t reach him. Eventually, the bears went away.
Naturally quite relieved, the guy QB starts down the tree again, wasting no time in his desire to get away.

Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the Colt QB knew he was in big trouble.
Each bear was carrying a BEAVER...

As I said, ingenuity and strategy. Isn't it nice to be in this position, to tell such stories this year?

Q: How many Colts does it take to win a Superbowl?
A: No one knows, and we may never find out!

Fair? No, but who said pre-Super Bowl jokes should be fair.

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Colt

Colt Who?

Colt you lend me a tissue, I can't believe we lost Super Bowl 41 to the Bears!

I really shouldn't be horsing around like this but I just can't help it!

Hotel Room Maid: Say, what are you doing here? Aren't you the Indianapolis Quarterback or something? Shouldn't you be at the stadium right now.

Player: Yeah, I would be, but I've got a really bad Colt.

Maid: Really? Oh, that's too bad. Did he say what kind?

Player: Yes, its very embarrasing, he said I've caught Bears Fever and the only cure is bed rest for at least a week, with a special diet.

Maid: Special Diet?

Player: Yes, I started it last night, a 12 pack of Old Style, 2 Italian Beef and sausage combo sandwiches, a sausage, mushroom, green pepper and onion Chicago style, deep dish pizza, an order of cheese fries and a bag of White Castles. That's my late night snack. Breakfast was bigger and it goes on from there.

Maid: Wow! What a diet. And you feel better?

Player: Sort of. I feel kind of heavy and bloated, and still sick. But I guess if feed a fever is the way to go, we're on the right track. Besides, those Eastern European doctors are the best. They've worked so hard to get where they are.

Maid: Eastern ... What did your doctor say his name was?

Player: Oh, he was very nice. Dr. Diatka, I think his name was. He was really concerned about my health. Wanted me to promise to stay in bed all day to day. Despite the pressure, I'm glad I did too.

Knock: Food Order!

Player: Oh boy! Time for my late afternoon Cheese Fries.

So much for Great moments in football joke history!

GO BEARS!


Peter, Chief Editor and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary

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Peter, Chief Editor and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary

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