Sphere: Related Content

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Forrest Claypool Stop Calling My Damn House!

Share

Quick RSS Subscription Links
I understand that the primary election for Cook County Board President in Illinois is today. For those of you in Dubai, or Aussie land, or Scotland that read my blog, (thank you by the way) Cook County includes the City of Chicago, my home town and most of the surrounding suburbs within the I-294 expressway.

So why has Forrest Claypool been calling me day after day for the week until my wife and I want to throw the phone through the window (but its winter in Chicago and very cold so we can't)?

Because John Stroger, the African-American incumbant, had a stroke about a week before the primary election and Claypool's team smells blood, that's why.

Ever since, Claypool's team's automatic dialers have been at work with messages from everyone from co-workers to Minnie Mouse calling my house to endorse Forrest Claypool, the idiot who thought I put my phone number on the do not call list for no reason at all.

Now I know the U.S. law that created the Do Not Call list that prohibits telemarketers from calling you if your number is on the list specifically excludes political calls and a few other legitimate kinds. But I don't think the exemption was intended to allow one candidate to call 20 times in the space of one week!

And we only have 2 registered voters in our house!

Well, Mr. Claypool, your strategy has back-a**-fired. If I ever would have considered voting for you, your election teams complete invasion of my personal space has convinced me that you are no more fit to be Cook County President than my postman, in fact, he's quite intelligent and I am sure he would do a better job.

He at least would have the sensitivity to have his team compare the lists of potential callers to the do not call list and limit those.

Oh, by the way, Mr. Claypool, those praising your record with the Chicago Park District and all those programs you recreated. You did so by cutting most of the Theater Programs in Chicago, that is my favorite programs.

And is it my imagination, or looking at the online registration for Park District Program availability, did you also do that by providing more and better programs on the more predomanantly white North Side than the more predomanently minority South Side? I admit I could be wrong there.

But boy, every time I had to move my pain wracked body to answer the phone again, I began to dislike you a little more. I have never been one for political activism, and it was too late, but for the first time ever, I called the Ward Office to tell them who I was going to vote for and why. Guess what? They have gotten a lot of calls like mine.

So if it is Wednesday and you are wondering why you lost, here's a clue! Don't abuse our phones!

If through some miracle you win, it will be despite your calls, not because of them.

Future political candidates take note!

Don't Tread on my Phone!

Judges - Don't even think about it! A nice mailer would be very helpful though. Please. Really, please. (For outsiders we elect a huge number of Judges in our municiple elections with very little knowledge of them, a huge problem and one that causes guilt from concerned voters.)

Peter

Note: I have not been paid for this post. I am not a worker for Mr. Stroger, but think he has done a lot of very good things in his terms in office and think we can believe his doctors when they say he will be fine. Besides, for all we know Mr. Claypool will drop dead from a heart attack next week, so guessing about the death of a candidate is a fool's game and I don't like the personal attack game Claypool is running. I try to keep an open mind about candidates. But clearly Claypool is an insensitive idiot.



Don't forget to tell your friends and family about the The Peter Files Blog of Comedy.

Our special deal this month? We're free, free, free, free, free, as the wind blows. But not naked. No naughty bits. No stuff that should get you trouble at work. Just the funniest stuff I can come up with.

Did you know that you can add a joke in a comment? If you do and and I or others think its good enough I will raise it to the level of its own post!

Just think of the fame and fortune that could be yours if a TV comedy show notices you just like they didn't notice me yet!

So think about it, in the mean time, use the little envelope below to forward your favorite jokes to your friend family and co-workers. You'll be glad you did.

Peter, Chief Editor and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary


Update: I thought I was through with them. Nope: Got one more of them not long after my trip out to vote and a few other essentials. Sorry Mr. Claypool, next time, maybe you will see the Forrest from the trees.

P.S. I did a quick poll while waiting in line to vote. Guess what? I wasn't the only one annoyed by all those calls. We'll see what it means later tonight or tomorrow. They are projecting a tight race, so who knows for whom the bell tolls, doth it toll for thee?

A Message from Voting Citizens for Being Left Alone at Home During Elections
A Lazy People's Group with No Organization, No Donations, No Paperword, and No Requirement other than to Say That You Are a Member
===> We love comments about our posts good or bad!

Please make comments by clicking on the word "Comments"!

Click on the Envelope to forward posts to your friends! Thank you! The staff.


3 Comments:

Blogger Cynthia E. Bagley said...

When I was living in Utah (during the 1980s), we had ads call every day from 5:30 p.m. to 8 p.m. These calls weren't even live... they were just messages. The problem with it was that you could not stop these messages by hanging up. We finally got these types of messages declared illegal when a woman was trying to call because her husband was having a heart attack. She could not call the ambulance... and neither could her neighbors. The man died.

I have a particular hatred of these types of callers. When we are home... we put a fax on the home line. Yep... charter TV gets to hear beep... beep.... high squeal.

3/21/2006 9:50 AM  
Blogger Radio op said...

I have a good one for you Peter called the barber from hell Aussie version how do I get it to you?

3/23/2006 7:33 AM  
Blogger The Peter Files Blog of Comedy said...

I'll check on your blog for a link.

Wasn't he Sweeney Todd? Who escaped exile in Austrailia to become the Demon Barber of Fleet...Street. I was in Musical once upon a time. The Stephen Sondheim version.

3/24/2006 6:17 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home


New Peter Files Blog Selected Comedy Videos!


Day By Day - - Copyright 2007 by Chris Muir, All Rights Reserved
Don't miss this sale! Amazon.com takes 50% Off 100 Plus DVD's & Sets!


Using this search box supports this blog at no cost to you! Just start all your Amazon purchases with a search in this box!