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Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Jeremy Blachman's Law School Song Parodies and Other Jokes


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Jeremy Blachman's Blog has a lot of things right about it.

Funny, well written, and indexed in another blog just for that purpose, (Smack! Why didn't I think of that!) Jeremy's blog is well worth the visit.

Rather than tell you about his day-to-day blogging, I'll just cut to the chase and list the things in the section of his index from song parodies on. If that doesn't convince you to visit, nothing will. You can tell just from the titles that this stuff is worth looking at, and if one isn't to your taste the next one probably is.

Blachman, if I've gotten it right, has just graduated from Harvard Law School and his blog has gotten a lot of attention lately (wonder why, like to do a cross-tab of hits by gender on that one, yes girls, he appears to be single and will still be seen in public once in a while with his mother.)

Recently his blog was one that Blogspot chose as a "blog to watch" and so he's been getting a lot more hits lately (and yes, see note above, there may be a little bit of blog forwarding here) but the blog, I say blog attention is well worth it. (Girls, you're on your own here.)

A NYC resident his posts talk a lot about life in Law School and at home. Those who live in Chicago know to take his subway criticisms with a grain of salt because CTA is so much cleaner, safer, and just nicer than those east cost subways.

But that's not his fault, you live where you live and his blog describes it in full.

One word of note. This blog is safe for work, I have NOT checked the links below for same.

IF you see a title that might be chancey, and are at work, don't click on it.

Oh, better check this blog soon, after getting a job he may decide it is in the best interests of his career to wrap this up.

Song Parodies
"The Casebook Connection" to the tune of "The Rainbow Connection"
"What is Law" to the tune of "What Is Love"
"When They're Over" (Exams) to the tune of Sugar Ray's "When It's Over"
"Hired" to the tune of Creed's "Higher"
"The Twelve Days of Finals" (think Christmas)
"Just a B" to the tune of "Let It Snow"
"Study Group Dropout" to the tune of "Beauty School Dropout"
"Law School B" to the tune of "Sloop John B"
"It's the Bluebook" to the tune of "Copacabana"
"Langdell (library) Reading Room" to the tune of "Margaritaville"
"I Want to Raise My Hand" to the tune of "I Want to Hold Your Hand"
"Beer for my Courses" to the tune of Toby Keith's "Beer for my Horses"
"Billing Me Softly" to the tune of "Killing Me Softly"
"Raise My Hand" to the tune of Hootie and the Blowfish's "Hold My Hand"
"Sue You, Sue Me" to the tune of Lionel Richie's "Say You, Say Me"
"Red Mouse Nub" to the tune of Phil Collins' "One More Night"
"The (public interest) Things You Can Do" to the tune of "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music
"Tomorrow" to the tune of (duh) "Tomorrow" from Annie
"The Law, It Is A-Changing to the tune of "The Times, They Are A-Changing"
"Someone Else's Notes to the tune of Bryan White's "Someone Else's Star"
"A Whole New Grade" to the tune of "A Whole New World"
"Open Book" to the tune of Journey's "Open Arms"
"Choose My Class" to the tune of "Be Our Guest" from Beauty and the Beast
"Negligence" to the tune of "Happiness" from You're A Good Man Charlie Brown
"I'm Losing Ames (moot court competition) from the Start" to the tune of "Quit Playing Games With My Heart"
"Your Lecture Is A Slumberland" to the tune of "Your Body Is A Wonderland"
"Me And The Registrar Down By The Wait List" to the tune of "Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard"
"B-Plus" to the tune of "Downtown"
"Proctor and the Cheat" to the tune of "Beauty and the Beast"
"It's a Small Curve After All" to the tune of "It's A Small World After All"
"Friends With Low Paychecks" to the tune of "Friends In Low Places"
"L-S-A-T One More Time" to the tune of Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time"
"Sweet Firm O' Mine" to the tune of Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline"
"This Is The Firm" to the tune of Clay Aiken's "This Is The Night"
"Missin' Defendant" to the tune of Kelly Clarkson's "Miss Independent"
"Our Lawyer's Here To Stay" to the tune of "Our Love Is Here to Stay"
"Mesothelioma" to the tune of Smokey Robinson's "I Second That Emotion"
"Curvin' GPA" to the tune of "Surfin' USA"
"Clerkin' USA" to the tune of "Surfin' USA"
"The Registrator" to the tune of Billy Joel's "The Entertainer"
"Tort People to the tune of Randy Newman's "Short People"
"Cheat off my Classmate" to the tune of Luther Vandross' "Dance with my Father"
"We're Blackin' Out to the tune of Billy Joel's "Movin' Out" (about the NYC blackout)
"In Which Section Are You?" to the tune of Elton John's "Don't Go Breaking My Heart"
"Firm, Firm, Firm" to the tune of "Turn, Turn, Turn" by the Byrds
"I'll Interview You" to the tune of The Beatles' "I'm Looking Through You"
"Pay Me More" to the tune of "Let It Snow"
"It's Gonna Be B" to the tune of "It's Gonna Be Me" by N'Sync
"They Didn't Get Elected"(The Supreme Court Justice Song), to the tune of "We Didn't Start The Fire"
"Big Firm" to the tune of Billy Joel's "Big Shot"
"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer: Law School Version
Christmas Law School Parody Medley
"Read the Constitution With Me" to the tune of "Locomotion"
"Did You Get What I Got?" to the tune of "Do You Hear What I Hear?"
"Post-Test Time" to the tune of "Auld Lang Syne"
"I Can't Make You Read Me" to the tune of "I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt
"Don't Know Much (But I Know the Case Law)" to the tune of "Don't Know Much" by Aaron Neville
"Do You Know That Gunner's GPA?" to the tune of "Do You Know The Way to San Jose?"
"Admissible" to the tune of "Invisible" by Clay Aiken
"Bar/Bri" to the tune of "Mandy" by Barry Manilow
"Walking in Class Late" to the tune of "Walking in Memphis" by Marc Cohn
"Depreciation" to the tune of "Locomotion"
"Learning Legalese" to the tune of "Turning Japanese" by The Vapors
"It's Still Number Twelve to Me" to the tune of "It's Still Rock and Roll to Me" by Billy Joel
"That's What Codes Are For" to the tune of "That's What Friends Are For"
"That's What [Steroid] Creams Are For" to the tune of "That's What Friends Are For"
"The Duty of Care" to the tune of "The Circle of Life" by Elton John
"Eat (On the Firm)" to the tune of "Jump (For my Love)" by the Pointer Sisters

Songs That Aren't Parodies
"Don't Call On Me," an original song about the Socratic Method
"You Have Jurisdiction Over Me," a civil procedure love song
"If the World Went By the Model Penal Code"
"You're the Adverse Possessor of my Heart"
The Tort Liability Song
"Interview Suit"
"Twenty Minutes" (an interview song)
"I Own An Easement on You" (a Valentine's Day song)
The Ballad of the Eight Hour Exam
"Land of Brilliant but Modest"

Lists of Stuff
100 Law Students You Don't Want to Be
Top Ten Things It's Not A Good Idea to Do Two Weeks Before Starting Law School
Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear the Professor Say on the First Day of Law School
Top Fifteen Things My Mom Thinks I'll Need At Harvard But I Really Won't
Top Ten Things The Most Competitive Law Student at Harvard Will Bring to School
Nine orientation tips for law students
Top Ten Things A Professor Shouldn't Say At the End of the Last Class of the Semester
Five signs that it's cold outside
Twenty-five things not to do the night before exams
Five Time-Saving Tips for Peak Performance on Timed Take-Home Exams
My Twenty-Five Onion Headlines
Ten Things I Saw People Do In Class Today To Make The Time Pass Quicker
Top Ten Registrar Mistakes Regarding 1L Grades
Top Ten Lies I Think Law Students Should All Conspire To Tell Admitted Students And Scare Them Away
Ten law schools waiting for ABA approval
Fifty productive things I didn't do over spring break
Fourteen boring-sounding courses
Twenty things not to do when studying for exams
Ten classes not offered by any law school
Things you'll rarely hear in law school
Ten Really Terrible 10-Second Law Firm Interview Answers To The Question, "How Do You Like Law School?"
Five people to sue after the NYC Blackout
Ten lies 2Ls and 3Ls should tell 1Ls
Ten things not to ask a lawyer on the recruiting path
Ten things the law school groundskeepers did over the summer
Ten spam e-mail headers you never see
Ten things you don't want your syllabus to say
Ten tips when choosing a seat
The twenty ranks of journal work positions
Ten law school organizations that don't exist
Twelve really bad pickup lines for lawyers
Nine Christmas Song Titles for Lawyers
Twenty New Years Resolutions for Law Professors
Twenty New Years Resolutions for Law Students
Ten Things Simon Cowell Would Say if the Show was Called "Judicial Idol"
Seven Valentine's Day Gifts for Law Students
Ten reasons why 1Ls choose to do the law review competition
Twenty-six overused law school phrases
Ten pranks to pull in class on April Fools' day
Thirteen things to study instead of the 1933 and 1934 securities acts
Eleven beverages for before a law school exam
Twenty reasons to drop a class
After-Thanksgiving Sales at the Law School Bookstore

Comedy Sketches
First Day of Law School: A Nightmare
If Kindergarten was Socratically Taught
1L Summer Job Hunt
The Unprepared Professor
Socratic Idol
World's Worst Summer Job Phone Interview
Two Minutes with the world's most ineffective professor
World's Worst Law Career Panels Discussion
Law Dust
Career Services Training Video
How to excel at law firm job interviews, by the national association of late-night telemarketers
"You Don't Get Paid... Until We Get Paid"
Willy Wonka Toothpaste

The Children's Guide to Law School
Chapter One: Arriving At Law School
Chapter Two: Going to Class
Chapter Three: Legal Journals

The 1L Course Primer: 100 Words About...
Criminal Law
Civil Procedure
Constitutional Law
Legal Writing

Other Wacky Diversions
Law School Mad Libs
Christmas Limericks about Law School
Rhyming couplets about the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure
An excerpt from the popular study guide, "Civil Procedure for Dummies"
Five anagrams for "Law School Is Fun"
A (brief) Choose Your Own Adventure law school story
Law School's Scariest Voice Mail Messages
Mnemonic Devices for Civil Procedure
Twas the night before classes...
Tort Limericks
The "Talking About Your Grades" code
Phony law school news briefs
Dr. Seuss's "Oh the Law School Exams You'll Take" (scroll down a bit for it)
The "Should I Go To Law School" quiz
Study Group Diary
Orientation for Introverts
Frog and Toad write the law review competition
A bunch of haiku about dorm rooms
Summer update Letter-O-Rama
Some haiku about grades
Country music song titles for law students
Twas the night before law school...
Error-filled orientation
What if movie reviewers reviewed casebooks?
Two Truths and a Lie: The Inside Scoop
Insta-Law-O-Matic Casebook Condenser
Law Review drinking game
Bad stand-up comedy routine about being a law student
Study Group Application
Acrostic Poem: Intellectual Curiosity
The 13-Day Exam Survivor Challenge
Dr. Seuss Goes To Law School: I Do Not Like It, Exam-I-Am
Law School Sniglets
Exam Countdown
Recommendation Letter from Law Professor to Law Firm
Baseball Player Haikus, Offseason 2003
Con Law Cartoon Characters
Harvard Law Review Sex Video Making Rounds on the Internet
Holiday Law-Related Movies and TV
Saddam Hussein on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"
E-mails I Didn't Receive from 1Ls About Exams
Twas the night before the night before the night before Christmas
Holiday Gift Ideas for Law Professors (that you can buy on the Internet)
Movies I Saw in 2002 and 2003
Law School Nutritional Plan: A New You to Sue
Create Your Own Exam Question: Torts
The Ultimate Law School Purity Test
Goofus and Gallant Go To Law School
Point/Counterpoint: Winter Term
Toys for Parents Who Want Their Children to Grow Up To Be Lawyers
Selected Provisions of Article 9 of the UCC
2 1Ls on Instant Messenger About to Find Out Their Grades
Letter to a 1L: The Weather in Boston
Ideas for New Law School Improvements
Notes on Flipping Through My New Casebooks
20 Questions for an Incompetent and Largely Unqualified Federal Judge
Interview with the B I got in Evidence
Corporations Exam Hypothetical
Thoughts on Harvard's Porn Magazine
The Law School Typology Scale
The 40 Law Review Leadership Positions
A Socratic Dialogue in Support of the Socratic Method
Fun with the Tax Code
Hop on Pop, after Pop gets Gastric Bypass Surgery
Martha Stewart Blogs from Prison
Craigslist/Law School/Missed Connections
My Chinese Take-Out Menu: A Review
Is It A Fifty Cent Lyric or a Federal Rule of Criminal Procedure?
The Really Unofficial Guide to LLM Life
Twenty Types of Law Students, each keyed to a different baseball player
Amazon.com casebook user reviews
Debriefing my fantasy baseball drafts
Fake course selection choices
Yo Momma' jokes for law students
April Fools jokes on law school websites
Make your own law school course catalog
Fake TV listings for law-related TV shows
Proposal for new law professor evaluation form
"If I Ran The Harvard Law School"
20 Questions with the Harvard Law School Ice Rink
Lawyer's First Sublet Agreement
Parodying an e-mail from the new Dean of Students
Law school section superlatives
The post-exam vaudeville routine
Conversation between two tax lawyers at the watercooler
Excerpts from new Fox shows featuring Simon Cowell as judge
All Star Game Drinking Game

Field Guide to the Corporate Lawyer
Starbucks Menu Parody
Parodying Long E-mail Threads
How To Spell Chanukah

My Trip To Paris
Funny Reflections on Paris I
Paris II
Paris III
Paris IV
Paris V
Paris VI
Paris VII
Ten Ways Law School is Probably Different in Paris

Day One
Day Two
Day Three
Day Four
Day Five
Day Six
The Big London Wrap-up

Political Humor
A Democratic Debate Sketch
"Another [Democratic Presidential] Debate" to the tune of "Scarborough Fair"
The Election Season Evening News
Fun With Anagrams
Howard Dean's Scream -- the aftermath
Excerpts from New Hampshire Victory Speeches
Early South Carolina Exit Polls I Made Up
Dean Loses Primary, Bares Breast on TV
Dennis Kucinich Comes to Law School
Live Thoughts on the Democratic Debate #1
Democratic Debate Parody #2
Air America Network programming schedule
"The Greatest Moments of the 2004 Debates..."
Ronald Reagan sketch
Vice Presidential Debate Drinking Game
Bush v. Kerry Debate Parody 10/14/04
Election Day Battleground Previews
Rush Transcript: President Bush's Post-Election Press Conference
Yasser Arafat or the Boston Red Sox?

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