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Friday, March 04, 2005

Are There Signs Your Toddler Has Watched Too Much TV Today?

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Mothers of River City, heed the warnings before it is too late, could this be happening in YOUR HOUSE?


He's* all wired up with nothing to throw.


He's bouncing off the walls, couches, bed and floors, and not only doesn't it hurt, he just laughs like crazy and does it again.


He goes to the opposite end of the house, attains full ramming speed, and your tummy is his target. That is, if you are lucky, or agile, your tummy is his target.


Certain words keep creeping into his vocabulary (trouble, trouble) words like Thomas (trouble, trouble), words like Jay-Jay, (trouble, trouble), words like Boohbah (trouble, trouble) or Teletubbies (trouble, trouble), and NOW, like Thomas NOW or Jay-Jay NOW, or Trombones - NOW.


He runs around the house screaming: "Martha's getting out! Martha's getting out!" And has no idea of who Martha is or why she is getting out, or where she is getting out from.


He is just
very, very excited that she is getting OUT!!!!!!!


(Note to those not blessed with a child: "Getting Out" is a really big thing when you are two. It is up there with coming back in, going to the store, taking a bath, getting our of the bath and going poopie.


Hopefully not all at once. I know this does not sound possible. Never question the parent of the toddler on something like this unless you have several
hours.


Strangely, toddlers DO NOT WANT TO GET OUT OF THEIR DIAPERS. Especially when they are filled with poopie.


Why this is true I cannot fathom.


I can only guess that at this age that poopie is the only thing that they make on a regular basis and feel actually belongs to them, and are annoyed that we adults, blithely remove it on our schedule and throw it away.


Or it's a temperature thing.


But if that's the case then why do they run around the room once the diaper is off to prevent us putting it back on?


If you want a good laugh, ask the person in the fancy bathroom section at your local mega store that sells toilets about toddler trouble. They are sure to have stories that explain why many bathroom display models are now mounted on the wall rather than on the floor....)


If any of the above are true, then YOUR toddler may be watching too much television.


HOW MUCH TV IS TOO MUCH TV FOR A TODDLER TO WATCH?


USING THE WELL KNOWN DAVE BARRY APPROACH TO SCIENCE, I HAVE DETERMINED THAT BY SIFTING THE AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS PRESS RELEASES THROUGH MY OWN CLOSET OF ANGST THAT:


THERE IS NO SAFE AMOUNT OF TELEVISION FOR A TODDLER TO WATCH!!!!!!


Using Dave's rigorous, unscientific BUT FAST method of thinking up something and believing it is real, I have concluded the following based on what I have read on the internet:


If you are a parent and any of your children has ever met any of the tests above you may now hang your head in shame.


You are doomed.


Your child is lost, lost, lost in TV neverland. A TV junkie forever. The best job he or she will ever have is at McRonalds.



Is it really that bad?


As Samantha Stevens would say, "Weeeell?"


Who do we think we are kidding here?


Probably.


So there is only one real counterbalance to too much TV.

Doing other things. Like running around and goofing off.

Note the warning signs.

Some of them are the toddlers showing us that they've had enough already!

And we can always read them a book.


*****We Now Pause For A Toddler interruption*******

I just took my own advice and read Hop Jump by Ellen Stohl Walsh to my toddler, just because he came up and asked me to read that particular book while I was typing.


That was followed by Machines at Work by Byron Barton because he is nuts about trucks.


The thing is he had many, many books to chose from, from bins scattered around the house, and he feels free at any time of the day that someone is here to do so to read one to him.


He was tired tonight so those 2 books were not followed by 15 others. Or 20. Though his Mom probably did read him quite a few books downstairs.


Actually, I sometimes wonder if he is turning into a 2-year-old book-a-holic.....


Hmmmn, are there signs that your Toddler is being read too many books? Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!


I'll worry about *that* some other time.


Thanks, to those who
are mentioning me in their blogs, people are following their links to my blog.


Peter (:-)


*It is the custom in many toddler books for parents for authors to use "her" exclusively in the book to make up for all the times that "him" was used exclusively in the previous generation's child care books. I can see why that makes some authors and readers feel better. It also probably sells more books since the market for these books is probably 85%
Moms. That's a guess. Other authors use him/her interchangeably, which is also sensible whenever you are dealing with an example or mythic toddler. If you are not, you may wish to write about the gender you have about you as I have.



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