These hits are being revised with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.
Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.
The Bee Gees
How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.
Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.
The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face..
I Can't See Clearly Now.
Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver.
Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.
Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.
A Whiter Shade of Hair.
You Make Me Feel Like Napping.
Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.
Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.
I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.
It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To.
And an all time favorite:
On the Commode Again.
The above came from Mary Ellen, one of our best regular contributors. Remember, you can be a contributor to, just send a joke in a comment, or in an email to thepeterfilesblog @ gmail.com just take out the spaces around the @ sign to make the address work.
Of course, I could not see something like that, without trying to come up with a few of my own.
Andrew Lloyd Weber
Benny at the Vet's (Admin.)
Doctor, Doctor, Gave me the news, I've got a bad case of Diabetes II.
No cake, not Ice Cream too, I've got a bad case of Diabets II.
I lost my license, Now I Trike it.
No, No, I don't like your health plan!
No, No, I don't need no prunes nor plain bran!
I Woke Up Again This Morning
The Partridge Family
Somewhere, I left my Glasses in the House
Wizard of Oz
Drive Very Slow on the Road
Wizard of Oz
Lost in the Big Box Store
The Curse of No Name
I'm sitting in the Doctor's can't remember my name
and the kids want to declare me insane
They want the condo in, where was that now
If I don't think, it's nursing room chow.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,
Ow, ow, ow...
It's My Party, I Can Nap if I Want To
You'd zonk out too, if you were old as me.
Leslie Gore (OK, I admit, this one is derivative)
Simon & Garfunk
Bad Knees, Food Stamps and Fleas
That's enough silliness for now.
Peter, Chief Editor and Spelling Wrecker
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