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Thursday, August 31, 2006

Bush Says That if America Stays the Course in Iraq, Victory Will Be Assured for Republicans in November

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President Bush started a whirlwind U.S. tour this week of Republican strongholds to convince Republican faithful that no matter what they may have heard from a heathen and God-hating press, everthing was okey-dokey in Iraq and that the forces of goodness (Republican) just had to stay the course to ensure a U.S. House and Senate Republican Majority in the fall.

"Nothing could be more crucial" W has been overheard saying, than protecting the world from Democracy when Republicanism is clearly at stake!" Bush Aides were quick to point out that what the President meant to say was "when the freedom of God fearing people was stake, even if we spell God differntly. Then again, my pronunciation is under attack so often, hey have not even gotten to my spelling, what a master plan, eh? Potatoe, Potatoe, Potootoe-ey, heh, heh, hehm. Sent Dan Quayle to the Minors didn't I, heh, heh, heh!"

At this point, Bush's handlers crept up behind him and administered what they called the Bush family "secret chili recipe" which quickly brought the President back to his senses, at least enough to ask the crowd to dig deep in their pockets for patriotic checks.

The crowd would know that they were patriotic checks he said, "because of the special red, white and blue ink that they would issue forth while writing".

This outburst of patriotic fervor, caused the crowd to issue forth with a group of checks so numerous and generous that the camapiagn considered another stop on the way back but opted instead to stop at Haneyville and Hooterville which were closer to the train tracks on the way vack, er back.

This satiric report from Peter Files,
Green Acres, Near Pixley


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