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Thursday, December 01, 2005

Calls to 911 Emergency Centers (Alleged)

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These are allegedly real life 911 emergency line telephone calls as heard when they first came into the call center. They do have the ring of truth and one does match one told by an old friend of mine in a series of stories that were allegedly told to him by a friend of his that worked in Chicago's 911 center in the early '80s. I will add one more thing. Another story not told by my friend names an intersection that does exist in Chicago, but it may exist in many other cities as well.

These came from my friend AM. Thanks!

On to the calls:


Dispatcher: 9-1-1What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.

Dispatcher: Excuse me?

Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?

Caller: Fire, I guess.

Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?

Caller: I was wondering.....does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?

Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?

Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?

Dispatcher: Help you what?

Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!


But this is probably the best of the lot of them.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1

Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Caller: No

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

Caller: Running from the Police.




Well, I guess that caller had lots of time to recover and get well. I have to say that I am awfully glad that there is someone to pick up the phone if I have to call 9-1-1, aren't you?

If you are from an emergency call center and have true life stories to add that are generally safe for work, add them in a comment and if they are funny, I will add them to this post!


Here's hoping there are no emergencies in your future!


Peter





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