Chicago Tribune: Q Challenge No. 135: Star Wars Product placements strike back

I saw this in the Chicago Tribune today and it cracked me up. I've only given you a few of the entries they printed. Follow the link for the rest of them.

The Q Challenge is a weekly feature worth adding to your favorites. Free Tribune registration may be required to see this particular article after a few days, (I am registered so I am not sure how long unregistered viewers can see it) but the humor level of the Tribune readers who compete is usually quite high, so I get a kick out of reading it.


CHALLENGE

No. 135: Product placements strike back
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May 22, 2005

Q asked our faithful Jedis in training to grab their light sabers and take a swing to create the least-likely product pairing for "Star Wars." The top three entries won M&M's from the Dark Side.

First Place:

A new Italian pastry tie-in ... "Obi-Wan Cannoli."

Jared Jewelry presents a new line of 24-karat Star Wars jewelry ... "Jar Jar Bling."

A new tie-in for the Green Party's next presidential candidate run. Presenting ... Darth Nader!

--Bud & Marge Podrazik, Chicago

Second place:

Forget iTunes. R2-D2 will soon be hawking R-Tunes/D-Tunes, while C-3PO will promote the new MP3PO Player.

--Paula Matzek, Mt. Prospect

Third place:

Light saber suppository.

--Tom Hakeem, Terre Haute, Ind.

Other Force-worthy products:

The "Star Wars" crew and Ex-Lax would be a bad fit. Consumers looking for a good laxative wouldn't really want the force to be with them.

--Walter "Butch" Brzeski, Chicago

Yoda in an ad for "Hooked on Phonics" pronouncing "Ohhhh, Hooked on Phonics for me worked, yes (insert yoda giggle here)."

--Charlie Connell, Chicago

Luke Skywalker and Verizon Wireless. "Can you hear me now--in the next galaxy?" Think not.

--Mike Draka, Chicago

The entire cast advertises the new Mustangs and Thunderbirds--"May the Fords be with you!"

--Sharon Dynek, Chicago

Jabba the Hutt signed a lucrative deal to promote Weight Watchers with Sarah Ferguson. Unfortunately the deal collapsed when the big guy met Fergie and ate her.

--Jerry Levy, Deerfield

The Yoda age-reducing wrinkle cream: "Look no more than 750 will you!"

--Tom McCudden, Durham, N.C.

Toyota dealers are announcing a new sales event. Test-drive a new Toyota and get a new toy Yoda for free.

--Larry Schuetz, Rolling Meadows

Copyright © 2005, Chicago Tribune

I am surprised that no one did an entry based on Playskool's s Darth Tater Mr. Potato Head toy, complete with light saber for cross-cut, jullienne or french fried Potato Head victims.

If someone did, perhaps they though that that kind of entry was unfit for their reader's consumption.

While we are on the subject of Star Wars, I note that Fox TV, Channel 32 in Chicago is airing Star Wars: Episode II -- Attack of the Clones (2002) starting at 6:00 pm Central (-600 GMT). The cast for II includes: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Christopher Lee, Samuel L. Jackson, Frank Oz, Ian McDiarmid, Pernilla August, Temuera Morrison, Jimmy Smits, Jack Thompson, Leeanna Walsman, Ahmed Best, Rose Byrne, Oliver Ford Davies, Ronald Falk, Jay Laga'aia, Andrew Secombe, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, and a digital cast of thousands.

As if you didn't already know it, this is the 5th of George Lucas' epic Star Wars films released to TV just in time to give Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith a boost at the box office, not that it needs it after exceeding $50 million dollars in tickets sales on its opening day (Thursday) beating sales expectations by a whopping 20%.

Based on that alone, if I didn't predict that Star Wars III was going to be a huge blockbuster, I wouldn't be much of a sithsayer, now would I?

For those who are complete Star Wars nuts, I give your the complete cast list from the IMDB database at IMDB.com with a few non-spoiler comments.

Ewan McGregor .... Obi-Wan Kenobi
Natalie Portman .... Padmé
Hayden Christensen .... Anakin Skywalker
Ian McDiarmid .... Supreme Chancellor Palpatine
Samuel L. Jackson .... Mace Windu
Jimmy Smits .... Senator Bail Organa
Frank Oz .... Yoda (voice)
Anthony Daniels .... C-3PO
Christopher Lee .... Count Dooku
Keisha Castle-Hughes .... Queen of Naboo
Silas Carson .... Ki-Adi-Mundi & Nute Gunray
Jay Laga'aia .... Captain Typho
Bruce Spence .... Tion Medon
Wayne Pygram .... Governor Tarkin
Temuera Morrison .... Commander Cody
David Bowers .... Mas Amedda
Oliver Ford Davies .... Sio Bibble
Ahmed Best .... Jar Jar Binks
Rohan Nichol .... Captain Antilles
Jeremy Bulloch .... Captain Colton
Amanda Lucas .... Terr Taneel
Kenny Baker .... R2-D2
Matt Sloan .... Plo Koon
Peter Mayhew .... Chewbacca
Rebecca Jackson Mendoza .... Queen of Alderaan
Joel Edgerton .... Owen Lars
Bonnie Piesse .... Beru
Jett Lucas .... Zett Jukassa - A Lucas heir? Note the character name play on his own Jett Zett, Lucas Jucassa.
Tux Akindoyeni .... Agen Kolar
Matt Rowan .... Senator Orn Free Taa - "Born Free, as free as the wind blows, as free as the grass grows..."
Kenji Oates .... Saesee Tiin - With two box tops to Free Offer...
Amy Allen .... Aayla Secura
Bodie Taylor .... Clone Trooper (as Bodie 'Tihoi' Taylor)
Graeme Blundell .... Ruwee Naberrie
Trisha Noble .... Jobal Naberrie - Soon to appear in a spin-off "Naberrie Wookie Free"
Claudia Karvan .... Sola Naberrie - "
Keira Wingate .... Ryoo Naberrie - "
Hayley Mooy .... Pooja Naberrie - "
Sandi Finlay .... Sly Moore - "You can punch the world out with a smile. You can take a nothing day..."
- Slime me! Slime me!
Katie Lucas .... Chi Eekway - "You are a cheeky one aren't you?" Another Lucas heir?
Genevieve O'Reilly .... Mon Mothma
Warren Owens .... Fang Zar
Kee Chan .... Malé-Dee
Rena Owen .... Nee Alavar
Christopher Kirby .... Giddean Danu
Matthew Wood .... General Grievous (voice)
Kristy Wright .... Moteé
Coinneach Alexander .... Whie
Mousy McCallum .... Bene
Michael Kingma .... Wookie (Tarfful)
Axel Dench .... Wookiee
Steven Foy .... Wookiee
Julian Khazzouh .... Wookiee
James Rowland .... Wookiee
David Stiff .... Wookiee
Robert Cope .... Wookiee
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Jerome Blake .... Mas Amedda (uncredited)
Josh Canning .... A Jedi Knight (uncredited)
Dominique Chionchio .... A Jedi Knight (uncredited)
Ben Cooke .... Kit Fisto (uncredited)
Mimi Daraphet .... Bultar Swan (uncredited)
Paul Davies .... A Mon Calamarian Senator (uncredited)
Caroline De Souza .... Bail Organa's Aide #1 (uncredited)
Malcolm Eager .... A Naboo Officer (uncredited)
Nicholas Ferguson .... A Senator (uncredited)
Lawrence Foster .... A Blue Senate Guard (uncredited)
Chantal Freer .... Elle (uncredited)
Nick Gillard .... Cin Drallig (uncredited)
Scott Hinds .... Nien Nunb (uncredited)
Luke Hinksman .... A Quarren Official (uncredited)
Peter Jackson .... A Blue Senate Guard (uncredited)
James Earl Jones .... Darth Vader (voice) (uncredited)
John Knoll .... A Fire Ship Pilot (uncredited)
Gervais Koffi .... A Jedi Knight (uncredited)
Nalini Krishan .... Barriss Offee (uncredited)
Olive Levi .... Senator Fema Baab (uncredited)
Jacqui Louez .... A Senator (uncredited)
George Lucas .... Baron Papanoida (uncredited) - Avoid the noid! He's the director after all!
Jason MacPhee .... A Naboo Guard (uncredited)
T.V. Moore .... Tundra Dowmeia's Aide (uncredited)
Paul Nicholson .... Senator Po Nudo (uncredited)
Lily Nyamwasa .... Stass Allie (uncredited)
Mary Oyaya .... Luminara Unduli (uncredited)
Jeremy Prestoe .... Senator Tundra Dowmeia (uncredited)
Hamish Roxburgh .... A Naboo Guard (uncredited)
Lisa Shaunessy .... A Senator (uncredited)
Orli Shoshan .... Shaak Ti (uncredited)
Paul Spence .... Senator Ask Aak (uncredited)
Holly Stringer .... A Handmaiden (uncredited)
Sandy Thompson .... Rune Haako (uncredited)
Colin Ware .... Senator Lott Dod (uncredited)
Marty Wetherill .... Magistrate Passel Argente (uncredited)
Aliyah Williams .... A Jedi Knight (uncredited)
Masa Yamaguchi .... A Senator (uncredited)

Well that's it for this extremely long post!

Hopefully that provided enough for even the most die-hard fan (what, that's another movie? Oh, right, Bruce Willis, Say I liked that movie!)


Peter

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