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Saturday, February 26, 2005

Things Heard in Court - Book Recommendation

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We all get tons of jokes circulated in our email. I know I do.


This one was so funny that I thought I would share it with you.

Lawyer jokes may be fair game but this series of actual court transcrips has humor from both sides of the stand. If these quotes are any indication of the quality of the book, I have to track this book down. Here's what I got.

*****************************************************************************

"These are from a book called '
Disorder in the American Courts', and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

My question is; hidden where in our homo sapien species DNA does the mindset for these responses reside?

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.

Q: What year?
A: Every year.
_________________________________

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.

Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

_____________________________________


Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.

_____________________________________


Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

_____________________________________


Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.

Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

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Thanks to my good (anonymous) friend who passed this on to me.

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